0910G【Try Best】第一小组第三次作业issue144bycooljcq

cooljcqUID: 2498528

144 "It is the artist,
not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value." *a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.


The arguer claims that the artist rather than the critic to create something of lasting value. As regard this, it is not completely true. As the protagonist for advocating the characteristic of creativity, the artist is parallel to the critic who represents custom, convention, ethics, and common sense. Both of them play its great role in the process of creating something of lasting value.
To begin with, evoking and cultivating the individuality of the artist or people in other fields is most of importance. Creativity and invention are usually generalized by few talent and extraordinary people. And freedom of thinking as well as without constraint can make them hover in the free kingdom of art. In the field, they can keep their mind away from mundane ideas and spark their preeminent thought. As we all know, Copernicus, the founder of solar center theory, discovered the truth that all of other plates rotated around the sun. The theory was very distinguished from that epoch when people misunderstood the earth was the center of the universe. Besides, the world is constructed with a variety of things and ideas. It is the various things and ideas made the entire world being full of interest and ideal. Every single thing and idea together constitute of the world. In addition, with the individual chasing the uniqueness, the lasting value work has already being created. Taking Van Gogh for example, when he was in pursuit of his uniqueness in art (of course, he didn’t think about the impressive impact on his following), he had created a lot of priceless art work to his decedents as well as the whole world.
However, the development and extension of individual people, such as the artist, is not unlimited. Many factors, such as custom, convention, ethics, etc. influenced the process of so called artist’s mind. For the artist live in the earthy world, they should also conform to the regularity and rules of the society. Only they really do that, can they achieve their best value to the society. On the one hand, the artist desires to prove their value to the majority of people who are the representative of mainstream mind. On the other hand, just after most of their works accord to the requirement of most of people, that their value can be accepted. On the contrary, the attitude and commentary of common people can also propel the artist to produce more value works to the society. Because so many people appreciate the works in every aspect, they may point out some drawbacks or shortcomings that the artist doesn’t considered. Absorbed these costful advice, the artist can make more value arts. Without abiding by the regularity and rules, many of the artists may be lost in the broad art sea, some even never produce real meaning things to the society. Not according to the convention of their place, the artist either hard to create lasting value things.
All in all, the further development of individuality constitute of progress of the society; besides, it is obstructed and pushed by the common sense. Only balance between the development of individuality and function of common people, can great progress and lasting value works be made.

heliappleUID: 2621347

1# cooljcq
144 "It is the artist,
not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value." *a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.


The arguer claims that the artist rather than the critic to create something of lasting value. 缺谓语，宾语从句后面应该是一个完整的句子(that it is the artist rather than the critic to create something of lasting value.)As regard this, (这样的搭配似乎有些怪)it is not completely true. As the protagonist for advocating the characteristic of creativity, the artist is parallel to the critic who represents custom, convention, ethics, and common sense. Both of them play its great role in the process of creating something of lasting value.

To begin with, evoking and cultivating the individuality of the artist or people in other fields (other fields 指的是什么呢？)is most of importance(important). Creativity and invention are usually generalized (generalize 一般有归纳的含义，这个词没有“产生”的意思)by few talent and extraordinary people. And freedom of thinking as well as without constraint can make them (them指代不清)hover in the free kingdom of art. In the field, they can keep their mind away from mundane ideas and spark their preeminent thought. As we all know, Copernicus, the founder of solar center theory, discovered the truth that all of other plates (planets)rotated (rotate既然是真理，就应该用一般现在时)around the sun. The theory was very distinguished (different好些, very distinguished挺别扭的)from that epoch (epoch是指时代，一个年代，理论应该和另外一种理论相区别，而不能区别于一个时代啊)when people misunderstood the earth was the center of the universe. (The theory was very different from the one that people believed in that epoch, which was being told that the earth was the center of the universe)Besides, the world is constructed with a variety of things and ideas. It is the various things and ideas made the entire world being full of interest and ideal. Every single thing and idea together constitute of the world. (这句话可以不要，影响理解，而且比较别扭)In addition, with the individual chasing the uniqueness,(这样的表达还是很别扭) the lasting value work (lasting value应该是名词词性不能直接放在work前) has already being created.(while chasing the uniqueness, the work with lasting value  is created in the same time) Taking Van Gogh for example, when he was in pursuit of his uniqueness in art (of course, he didn’t think about the impressive impact on his following), he had created a lot of priceless art work to his decedents as well as the whole world.
用Copernicus做例子似乎不太合适，因为我们讲的是art, 不是科学。这一段论述的中心和结果就是：Lasting value就是独特性。不知道我理解的对不对。独特性是价值，但是是不是lasting的呢？可以说每件艺术品都是很独特的，但是都是有lasting　value的吗？我觉得这一段的论述有点太单薄

However, the development and extension of individual peple, such as the artist, is not unlimited. Many factors, such as custom, convention, ethics, etc. influenced the process of so called artist’s mind. For (since)the artists live in the earthy (mundane用来形容尘世)world, they should also conform to the regularity and rules of the society. Only they really do that, can they achieve their best value to the society. On the one hand, the artist desires (artists desire注意前后单复数一致)to prove their value to the majority of people who are the representative of mainstream mind. On the other hand, just after most of their works accord to the requirement of most of people, that their value can be accepted. (on one hand ,on the other hand 这两个短语在使用的时候一般是表示情况有所出入，双方处于对立状态，而作者以上的两句话没有这种意思，所以用此短语不太合适)On the contrary, the attitude and commentary of common people can also propel the artist to produce more value works to the society. Because so many people appreciate the works in every aspect, they may point out some drawbacks or shortcomings that the artist doesn’t considered. Absorbed these costful advice, the artist can make more value arts. Without abiding by the regularity and rules, many of the artists may be lost in the broad art sea (the sea of art), some even never produce real meaning (meaningful) things to the society. Not according to the convention of their place(society), the artist either hard to create lasting value things.(the artist could not create work of lasting value).
这一段是讲个性，独特性的发展和社会主流文化是分不开的。需要博取大众认同。但是这样不就是和梵高的例子相违背了吗？

All in all, the further development of individuality constitute of progress of the society (注意检查句子结构，constitute后面接of,　这样直接导致这个句子没有了谓语，所以应该把of 去掉。); besides, it (it 是指什么呢？)is obstructed and pushed by the common sense. Only balance between the development of individuality and function of common people, (如果balance是名词，那么没有谓语，如果是动词，那我还是找不到它的宾语。Only by balancing the development of individuality and function of common people,) can great progress and lasting value works be made.
作者最后取了均衡的观点就是主流和个性的平衡才是lasting value产生的基础。但是该如何平横呢？这个结论是不是又是一个新的需要解释的论点呢？

作者的语法错误比较多，用名词修饰名词是比较常见的一种。比如：art sea
另外句子结构不完整，建议多看看语法书。每次写完一句话后，自己回头再看看，到底主谓宾都是哪些？
还有，行文时，段与段之间的分割方式常见的有两种，一种是首行缩进（如中文每段首行缩进两字），另外一种就是首行齐头但是每段间相隔一行。这样文章看起来会比较清楚，整洁。不知道作者是由于发帖所以导致格式变化还是本身就疏忽掉了，但是还是希望以后注意，特别是在考试的时侯
再有，其实简单句的威力也是很大的，所以在长句掌握不是很熟练的情况下，还是建议多多使用简单一些的句子，只要把意思表达清楚就好了。
改的不妥的地方还望指正，一起加油吧