0910AW 同主题写作第八期 issue221 by Bloodbob

bloodbobUID: 2627007

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."


提纲：

1.研究历史是通过对有历史意义的事件的研究，了解历史上发生的我们无法经历变化和发展。
2.对历史的研究可以揭示的不同的时代特征，这些特征内化于人的（思想，风俗）（春节），表现在人的行为，衣着，举止，生活方式等，(统一服饰，个性化，另类)可以使人们对当时人们的行为有更深刻清晰地认识。
3.对历史的研究可以通过比较揭示不同时代表现出的相同特征，它们不因时间变化而变化。（fairness and freedom, democracy and equality）由此可以推导出社会的发展规律，通过遵行这类规律使人类的发展更趋合理化，加速社会发展进步。
4.研究历史还能够为后人的行为做启示，避免重蹈覆辙。War, environment
5.历史是迂回前进,不断发展的，现在的事会成为将来的历史，因此对历史的研究也是无法停滞的。而且对于同一件事，不同时代的人会从不同的观点看待，得出不同的结论（农奴制）。对历史研究只有不断地发现，总结才能得出最适合时代特征的启示。


The study of history refers to the study of the past, which we can by no means experience, through the historic events or facts in order to anticipate the future of our social development. This study, as far as I am concerned, not only benefits in disabuse human being’s illusion, but serves as a mirror that keep reminding the mistakes that had been committed and avoid repeating them.
In the first place, diversified though the different cross-section of the history seems to be, there exist the similarities that remain constant against the slip of time. Another responsibility, which is more essential, of the history study is to uncover the underlying principles that guide the progress of human society. Fairness and freedom, serves as the fundamental of social belief, have long been worshiped since the enlightening of the human being. The Industry Revolution, Civil War as well as the WWII all incented by people holding dear the human rights.
The long history, seeing rapid revolution in the science and social system, has consistently stuck to Democracy and equality, the enduring code of all forms of society. After analysis of the history, we may uncover the everlasting social rules, which the society live by, and thus we may capitalize on it to prosper the contemporary society through sound comprehension of the rules.
On the other hand, stable as the history is, we can deny the fact that society of divers period does differ within a covert frame of social law. The study of history may shed light on the social feature characteristic of various period of history. This feature, internalized in the thought pattern as well as the customs that is valued, take shape in the human deed, clothing, manner as well as their life styles. For instance, 50s years ago, it's hard to sort out the people dressed in clothes that is colored beyond the black, grey and brown. During such period, the conservatism prevailed and uniformity is highly valued. However, as the social developed, even those in the 50s and 60s boast their fashionable and brightly colored suits that, in their view, embody their worship of individualism. The study of history may sift out those superficial ones and present the core of the social development, the tendency of spiral improvement.
On the other hand, the study of history functions far more than disillusion. It keeps on reminds us the lessons we learned and the experience we gained over the time. The infamous WWII has left too excruciating memory that people worldwide unanimously do their utmost to prevent it from recurring. Disasters arising from pollution warn us spend more time and money on the environment.
To sum up, the history, as we may found, proceeds in the form of spiral. What occurs nowadays turn out to be the history in the eyes of the historians in the future. The frequent reviewing of the history makes good sense in the policy making and development.

xydengUID: 2472724

0910AW 同主题写作第八期 issue221 by Bloodbob
TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."


提纲：

1.研究历史是通过对有历史意义的事件的研究，了解历史上发生的我们无法经历变化和发展。
2.对历史的研究可以揭示的不同的时代特征，这些特征内化于人的（思想，风俗）（春节），表现在人的行为，衣着，举止，生活方式等，(统一服饰，个性化，另类)可以使人们对当时人们的行为有更深刻清晰地认识。
3.对历史的研究可以通过比较揭示不同时代表现出的相同特征，它们不因时间变化而变化。（fairness and freedom, democracy and equality）由此可以推导出社会的发展规律，通过遵行这类规律使人类的发展更趋合理化，加速社会发展进步。
4.研究历史还能够为后人的行为做启示，避免重蹈覆辙。War, environment
5.历史是迂回前进,不断发展的，现在的事会成为将来的历史，因此对历史的研究也是无法停滞的。而且对于同一件事，不同时代的人会从不同的观点看待，得出不同的结论（农奴制）。对历史研究只有不断地发现，总结才能得出最适合时代特征的启示。


The study of history refers to the study of the past, which we can by no means experience, through the historic events or facts in order to anticipate the future of our social development. This study, as far as I am concerned, not only benefits in disabuse→disabusing（disabuse可以做名词么？貌似只做动词，那就应该改为disabusing） human being’s illusion, but serves as a mirror that keep reminding the mistakes that had been committed and avoid repeating them.

你在首段很好地陈述了你的观点，但是我觉得如果这样陈述的话，貌似表示的是你理解的学习历史的作用是打消人类的错觉or幻想，重点在于打消一词。（我看你的中文提纲好像理解的又是和我理解的题目是一样的）我认为题目的关键点在于benefit和illusion这俩词，而illusion呢，题目有限定，指的是“people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history”。所以，关键并不在于break down一词，而是illusion和benefit of the study of history。我理解的题目是：学习历史的主要好处即是让我们认识到生活在不同时期的人类是一样的，具有共同点的。

In the first place, diversified though the different cross-section of the history seems to be, there exist the similarities that remain constant against the slip of time. Another（为什么要在这里用another呢？我没看懂哦。因为你前面说的那句话并没有说到the responsibility of the history study. 你仅仅说到不同时期的人类是有相似点的。然而，第二句话，你说到学习历史的responsibility，和前面是不同范畴的内容，却用了一个responsibility。）responsibility, which is more essential, of the history study is to uncover the underlying principles that guide the progress of human society. Fairness and freedom, serves as the fundamental of social belief, have long been worshiped since the enlightening of the human being. The Industry Revolution, Civil War as well as the WWII （我上新东方的时候，老师说过最好不要简写，我也不知道是不是这样，还是安全起见吧，全写出来，the Second World War）all incented by people holding dear the human rights.

这一段的论点是：人类存在持续的共性，而学习历史可以揭示一些推动人类进步的潜在规则。后面的两句应该是支持你论点的论据。但是，我感觉你没有很好地把这四句话连接起来，让他们之间具有一定的内在连贯性。比如说，你最后一句，说到工业革命，独立战争还有第二次世界大战，但是，这三大历史事件如何支持你的论点呢？the human rights并没有特指，你应该再明确地说明一下，这三个历史事件是人类为了公正、自由等各个时期的人类一直以来所推崇的社会信仰而发动的，这样就和你的第三句很好地连接起来了。（貌似我自己也没把问题说清楚，没表达出我想说的意思，sigh……希望你能看懂，哈哈）

The long history, seeing rapid revolution in the science and social system, has consistently stuck to Democracy and equality, the enduring code of all forms of society. After analysis of the history, we may uncover the everlasting social rules, which the society live by, and thus we may capitalize on it to prosper the contemporary society through sound comprehension of the rules.

On the other hand, stable as the history is, we can（看完整句话，我觉得应该是cannot,要不然和后文矛盾了，呼呼） deny the fact that society of divers period(需要用复数不？这个我也不是很清楚，请赐教！) does differ within a covert frame of social law. The study of history may shed light on the social feature characteristic of various period of history. This feature, internalized in the thought pattern as well as the customs that is valued, take shape in the human deed, clothing, manner as well as their life styles. For instance, 50s years ago, it's hard to sort out the people dressed in clothes that is colored beyond the black, grey and brown. During such period, the conservatism prevailed and uniformity is highly valued. However, as the social developed, even those in the 50s and 60s boast their fashionable and brightly colored suits that, in their view, embody their worship of individualism. The study of history may sift out those superficial ones and present the core of the social development, the tendency of spiral improvement.

这一段说到了学习历史还应该关注不同历史时期的特征，其实说得挺好的，但是我个人认为，有一点点遗憾之处，就是没绕到认识到这些不同历史时期的特征的benefits是什么这方面。

On the other hand, the study of history functions far more than disillusion. It keeps on reminds us the lessons we learned and the experience we gained over the time. The infamous WWII has left too excruciating memory that people worldwide unanimously do their utmost to prevent it from recurring. Disasters arising from pollution warn us spend more time and money on the environment.

为什么这两段的首句都是On the other hand?

To sum up, the history, as we may found, proceeds in the form of spiral. What occurs nowadays turn out to be the history in the eyes of the historians in the future. The frequent reviewing of the history makes good sense in the policy making and development.

首先，你的用词很到位，句法句式多变，在这方面无可挑剔。你的中文提纲看得出思路很清晰，但是有一点遗憾，那就是貌似表达出的意思有一点偏离主题了，偏离了这个题目的关键词：chief benefit of the study of history，illusion，significantly different，你分析了学习历史可以找出相同的特征，（对历史的研究可以通过比较揭示不同时代表现出的相同特征，它们不因时间变化而变化。（fairness and freedom, democracy and equality）由此可以推导出社会的发展规律，通过遵行这类规律使人类的发展更趋合理化，加速社会发展进步。）但是，在文章中看不到你中文提纲中所列的对历史的是研究揭示不同时代表现出的相同特征的benefits。另外，你说到，历史学习还应该关注不同的时代特征（对历史的研究可以揭示的不同的时代特征，这些特征内化于人的（思想，风俗）（春节），表现在人的行为，衣着，举止，生活方式等，(统一服饰，个性化，另类)可以使人们对当时人们的行为有更深刻清晰地认识。），但是，同样地，你在文章中没有明确地表明揭示不同的时代特征的benefits是什么。

bloodbobUID: 2627007

改得好详细，太感动了 。一针见血，知道怎么修改了。

bloodbobUID: 2627007

The study of history refers to the study of the past, which we can by no means experience, through the historic events or facts in order to anticipate the future of our social development. This study, as far as I am concerned, not only benefits in disabusing human being’s illusion, but serves as a mirror that keep reminding the mistakes that had been committed and avoid repeating them.

In the first place, diversified though the different cross-section of the history seems to be, there exist the similarities that remain constant against the slip of time. The prime responsibility of the history study is to uncover the underlying principles that guide the progress of human society. Fairness and freedom, serves as the fundamental of social belief, have long been worshiped since the enlightening of the human being. The Industry Revolution, Civil War as well as the Second World War all incented by people holding dear the human rights. Different shapes as those events took, they all go against the value of fairness, democracy and equality, which is subject to doom sooner or later. The study of history, in such sense, may offer rationality and thus stability to the society by informing the ruler the consistent value upon which the sustainable social systems are based since it may sift out those superficial ones and present the core of the social development, the tendency of spiral improvement.

The long history, seeing rapid revolution in the science and social system, has consistently stuck to Democracy and equality, the enduring code of all forms of society. After analysis of the history, we may uncover the everlasting social rules, which the society live by, and thus we may capitalize on it to prosper the contemporary society through sound comprehension of the rules.

On the other hand, stable as the history is, we cannot deny the fact that society of divers periods do differ within a covert frame of social law. The study of history may shed light on the social feature characteristic of various period of history. This feature, internalized in the thought pattern as well as the customs that is valued, take shape in the human deed, clothing, manner as well as their life styles. For instance, 50s years ago, it's hard to sort out the people dressed in clothes that is colored beyond the black, grey and brown. During such period, the conservatism prevailed and uniformity is highly valued. However, as the social developed, even those in the 50s and 60s boast their fashionable and brightly colored suits that, in their view, embody their worship of individualism. The study of the history, which focuses on not only the similarities but also differences, may provide us with a more objective view to make sense of particular events in particular periods of time.

Finally, the study of history functions far more than disillusion. It keeps on reminds us the lessons we learned and the experience we gained over the time. The infamous WWII has left too excruciating memory that people worldwide unanimously do their utmost to prevent it from recurring. Disasters arising from pollution warn us spend more time and money on the environment.

To sum up, the history, as we may found, proceeds in the form of spiral. What occurs nowadays turn out to be the history in the eyes of the historians in the future. The frequent reviewing of the history makes good sense in the policy making and development.