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[未归类] TOEFL暑期集结号作文 第1次作业 by 文赋 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-9 20:53:04 |显示全部楼层
2008-06-07 Playing Computer games is a waste of time for children.

1. Good entertainment.
2. Enhance friendship.
3. Admittedly, undermine teenster physical or mental health.

Many parents and educators believe that playing computer games will dull adolescent brain and take up time that they could otherwise use for study or interacting with their family, especially, with their parents. But this is not the whole picture. Perhaps some children cannot get a good grade in school or do not have enough time to communicate with their parents, but I do not think computer game is entirely responsible; indeed, I plan to discuss here some ways in which computer game actually improves teenage academic performance and enhances communication.

Firstly, we can not blame computer game itself for wasting children's time. As thing stand now, there are so many entertainment in our life, like television, movie, music or fiction, computer game is just one of them. Furthermore, computer game is more interested than those traditional entertainments for it can have some interactions with player and reward player when task fulfilled. If the only propose in life is study and work, it is badly monotonous and inanimate. Beside endless work and study, we need some leisure time and good entertanment, as well as teenster. Frankly, I always study more efficiently after enjoying a thrilling computer game. Thus could explain why eggheads fail to get a high SAT scores.

Critics of computer game like to invoke an image of a couple of teenagers, sitting in coach and faces like zombies, because the stupid computer game has turned their brians to mush. However, this is another excuse for parents to conceal the truth, which are parents do not have  common topic whit their children. On contrary, computer game is the most favorite topic for adolescents. When I was in university, my roommates and I are fans of a competitive game, the PES. In weekend, we play the game and talk about those famous football stars. For this reason, parents should figure out the real problem between them and their children, and not just blame computer game.

Essential positive, although, computer game can also have some negative side effects, under certain circumstances. Admittedly, for one thing, excessive playing computer game does impair teenage physical or even mental health, heightening the risk of diseases, such as obesity and near-sight. Therefore, for children, the time allocated to play computer game must be limited. If we conduct them to do exercise on a regular basis and carefully select the best games for them, we can say for sure, the benefits of playing computer game outweigh its drawbacks.

In conclusion, despite undesirable side effects of computer game, children could gain an absolute relaxation after playing computer game. Similar with athletic sports, like football or basketball, teensters will fortify their friendship by play computer game together.  In my opinion, computer game receives too much irrational criticism; those make us to ignore the fact that computer game is a new and popular entertainment, not a mental heroin for teenagers.
背完红宝书了。——2009-8-27
考完GRE之AW了 。——2009-9-10
……
托福95+ 2011-6-11
陶瓷中……

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发表于 2009-7-10 23:20:28 |显示全部楼层
我用word修改的,因为可以用颜色标注,比较明显。

葡萄修改.doc

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发表于 2009-7-11 20:42:50 |显示全部楼层
作文论证的很好,句式及词汇还需要丰富一些。

文赋作文zongwww修改.doc

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发表于 2009-7-12 09:13:46 |显示全部楼层
2008-06-07 Playing Computer games is a waste of time for children.
) E& W  Z% F/ l2 B2 W5 f/ j9 b: K$ O
1. Good entertainment.
- m8 o) N+ \3 e* _1 x$ I: t# Z2. Enhance friendship. ; d- e6 b8 h; q+ U
3. Admittedly, undermine teenster physical or mental health.
: O! Z1 G! u0 \) J/ d% z. V
& h% D- G  ]# N6 I; |Many parents and educators believe that playing computer games will dull adolescent brain and take up time that they could otherwise use for study or interacting with their family, especially, with their parents. But this is not the whole picture. Perhaps some children cannot get a good grade in school or do not have enough time to communicate with their parents, but I do not think computer game is entirely responsible; indeed, I plan to discuss here some ways in which computer game actually improves teenage academic performance and enhances communication. - K$ u! @* B' e2 S
  C2 i! k+ @! N7 C0 F- o2 z
Firstly, we can not blame computer game itself for wasting children's time. As thing stand now, there are so many entertainment in our life, like television, movie, music or fiction, computer game is just one of them. Furthermore, computer game is more interested than those traditional entertainments for it can have some interactions with player and reward player when task fulfilled. If the only propose in life is study and work, it is badly monotonous and inanimate. Beside endless work and study, we need some leisure time and good entertanment, as well as teenster. Frankly, I always study more efficiently after enjoying a thrilling computer game. Thus could explain why eggheads fail to get a high SAT scores. $ w5 h2 a0 {% d, I$ t1 U  B6 D
8 A- m3 L, {3 e8 o' s
Critics of computer game like to invoke an image of a couple of teenagers, sitting in coach and faces like zombies, because the stupid computer game has turned their brians to mush. However, this is another excuse for parents to conceal the truth, which are parents do not have  common topic whit their children. On contrary, computer game is the most favorite topic for adolescents. When I was in university, my roommates and I are fans of a competitive game, the PES. In weekend, we play the game and talk about those famous football stars. For this reason, parents should figure out the real problem between them and their children, and not just blame computer game. , V5 ~! ~& X, q; D- s! d: |

3 y+ f; l, S& f  k& ?, C9 hEssential positive, although, computer game can also have some negative side effects, under certain circumstances. Admittedly, for one thing, excessive playing computer game does impair teenage physical or even mental health, heightening the risk of diseases, such as obesity and near-sight. Therefore, for children, the time allocated to play computer game must be limited. If we conduct them to do exercise on a regular basis and carefully select the best games for them, we can say for sure, the benefits of playing computer game outweigh its drawbacks.
. E# f4 ]" K, E6 M- `" I2 l
; N- ~% e" T* u$ P$ OIn conclusion, despite undesirable side effects of computer game, children could gain an absolute relaxation after playing computer game. Similar with athletic sports, like football or basketball, teensters will fortify their friendship by play computer game together.  In my opinion, computer game receives too much irrational criticism; those make us to ignore the fact that computer game is a new and popular entertainment, not a mental heroin for teenagers.

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发表于 2009-7-12 09:15:51 |显示全部楼层
2008-06-07 Playing Computer games is a waste of time for children.

1. Good entertainment.
2. Enhance friendship.
3. Admittedly, undermine teenster physical or mental health.

Many parents and educators believe that playing computer games will dull adolescent brain and take up time that they could otherwise use for study or interacting with their family, especially, with their parents. But this is not the whole picture. Perhaps some children cannot get a good grade in school or do not have enough time to communicate with their parents, but I do not think computer game is entirely responsible; indeed, I plan to discuss here some ways in which computer game actually improves teenage academic performance and enhances communication.

Firstly, we can not blame computer game itself for wasting children's time. As thing stand now, there are so many entertainment in our life, like television, movie, music or fiction, computer game is just one of them. Furthermore, computer game is more interested than those traditional entertainments for it can have some interactions with player and reward player when task fulfilled. If the only propose in life is study and work, it is badly monotonous and inanimate. Beside endless work and study, we need some leisure time and good entertanment, as well as teenster. Frankly, I always study more efficiently after enjoying a thrilling computer game. Thus could explain why eggheads fail to get a high SAT scores.

Critics of computer game like to invoke an image of a couple of teenagers, sitting in coach and faces like zombies, because the stupid computer game has turned their brians to mush. However, this is another excuse for parents to conceal the truth, which are parents do not have  common topic whit their children. On contrary, computer game is the most favorite topic for adolescents. When I was in university, my roommates and I are fans of a competitive game, the PES. In weekend, we play the game and talk about those famous football stars. For this reason, parents should figure out the real problem between them and their children, and not just blame computer game.

Essential positive, although, computer game can also have some negative side effects, under certain circumstances. Admittedly, for one thing, excessive playing computer game does impair teenage physical or even mental health, heightening the risk of diseases, such as obesity and near-sight. Therefore, for children, the time allocated to play computer game must be limited. If we conduct them to do exercise on a regular basis and carefully select the best games for them, we can say for sure, the benefits of playing computer game outweigh its drawbacks.

In conclusion, despite undesirable side effects of computer game, children could gain an absolute relaxation after playing computer game. Similar with athletic sports, like football or basketball, teensters will fortify their friendship by play computer game together.  In my opinion, computer game receives too much irrational criticism; those make us to ignore the fact that computer game is a new and popular entertainment, not a mental heroin for teenagers.

文赋 发表于 2009-7-9 20:53


没有乱码诶,我只是拷贝到txt在弄回来
背完红宝书了。——2009-8-27
考完GRE之AW了 。——2009-9-10
……
托福95+ 2011-6-11
陶瓷中……

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发表于 2009-7-12 19:36:31 |显示全部楼层
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RE: TOEFL暑期集结号作文 第1次作业 by 文赋 [修改]

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