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[a习作temp] Issue94【Triple Week】第1次练习by raining813 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-13 08:55:20 |显示全部楼层
Nowadays, there is a controversial issue about requiring every student to take a variety of courses. Depending on personal experiences, beliefs, and emotional concern, we may find that some people hold the opinion that it is wisely to take this measure, while others have an opposite attitude. As far as I am concerned, I somehow agree the necessarily of that issue. My view will be substantiated by following discussion.

First of all, the most important reason for my view is that the job market today’s university graduates to have a broad scope of knowledge. To illustrate this, there is an
appropriate example that is very persuasive: our exercitation, one of the compulsory courses in our university, with the purpose of improving the practical skills rather than what have taught simply from the text. Under this situation, it is obvious that be indispensable to require students to take certain necessary courses outside school.

.

In addition, there is another reason for me to choose this statement. By exploring subjects outside their own major, students may find new academic fields where lie their real interest and potential gift. For example, one of my friend majored in Biology, to be a volunteer in a hospital to learn physic, and then, gained a high price at the end of his none profit labor which became a significant factor for him in his future job market. So, as far as I am concerned, acquiring knowledge outside is indeed a wise action.

Finally, as a proverb says, Everything has two sides”. Although I admit that there are a couple of advantages of this issue, I still think that the disadvantages of it are more obvious. Inevitable, it is possible that taking courses outside will to some extent distract the students’ attention on their books. After all, the knowledge from text is relatively fatal and useful than practice.

To sum up, given the reasons mentioned above, we may safely come to the conclusion that: granted the various academic disciplines are more and more important required in the serious competitive job market, it is definitely a favorable way to acquire knowledge of various academic__ of course, on the basis of proper attention on the text.
前方是绝路,希望在拐角~

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发表于 2009-7-13 23:59:11 |显示全部楼层
1# raining813

Nowadays,there is a controversial issue about requiring every student to take avariety of courses. Depending on personal experiences, beliefs, andemotional concern, we may find that some people hold the opinion thatit is wisely to take this measure, while others have an oppositeattitude. As far as I am concerned, I somehow agree the necessarily ofthat issue. My view will be substantiated by following discussion.


Firstof all, the most important reason for my view is that the job markettoday’s university graduates to have a broad scope of knowledge. (这句表达似乎有问题,句子成分不全)Toillustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is very persuasive: ourexercitation, one of the compulsory courses in our university, with thepurpose of improving the practical skills rather than what have taughtsimply from the text. Under this situation, it is obvious that beindispensable to require students to take certain necessary coursesoutside school.(似乎不能把实习等价成knowledge varies of academic disciplines,实习还是本学科的东西)
.

Inaddition, there is another reason for me to choose this statement. Byexploring subjects outside their own major, students may find newacademic fields where lie their real interest and potential gift. Forexample, one of my friend majored in Biology, to be a volunteer in ahospital to learn physic, and then, gained a high price at the end ofhis none profit labor which became a significant factor for him in hisfuture job market. So, as far as I am concerned, acquiring knowledgeoutside is indeed a wise action.(举例论证,具有说服力)

Finally, as a proverb says, Everythinghas two sides”. Although I admit that there are a couple of advantagesof this issue, I still think that the disadvantages of it are moreobvious.(这句似乎和全文主旨矛盾,即使是为了说明缺点用obvious好像也过了) Inevitable, it is possible that taking courses outside will tosome extent distract the students’ attention on their books. After all,the knowledge from text is relatively fatal and useful than practice.

Tosum up, given the reasons mentioned above, we may safely come to theconclusion that: granted the various academic disciplines are more andmore important required in the serious competitive job market, it isdefinitely a favorable way to acquire knowledge of various academic__of course, on the basis of proper attention on the text.

综上所述,个人认为作者的论证还不够具有逻辑性,从而削弱了说服力。另外也没能在论证过程中点题题目中的"Truly educated"。 如能考虑到这点并加以发挥,效果会更好。另外可能是时间原因, 似乎字数也不太够

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RE: Issue94【Triple Week】第1次练习by raining813 [修改]

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