Issue50【Triple Week】第四次练习by 泡面

泡面UID: 2513568

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 494
TIME: 0:45:00
DATE: 2009-6-20

quality of instruction at the college and university level.
Not all
faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. This should be regarded to depend on the character of the course and


Some pragmatic course should taken societal experiences into account. As such kind of course calls for not only solid foundation of basic knowledge, but also applied methods. Solic foundation cannot be neglected, as it is fundamentally part of anything to futher development, without supporting of it, anything built is just a aloft pavilian. And on the other hand, if no practicle knowledge is equipped, then the basic knowledge is stasis in the lowest level. Other wise, the course is just like a simple mansion which is established without beautified ornament. Thus products is unfavourable to the customers. Let's taken clinic major for example. The students have abtained full information of the stucture of huamn body, the actraul names of each joint and even acurate point. He has been imprted the approach to inspect every organs of human body, all he lacks is an actrual combat. If the professor devoted all his life time in knowledge teaching and equipped without any practical knowledge, how could he assure the safetiness of operating in the process of curing and how to avoid the unusual events during this procedure. Students don't have enough condition to operate one by one in person, and thus , some lethal flaws in pragamtic should be imparted by teacher to reseach outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.

And also, some courses are not seriously calls for outside world knowledge. These courses like pure acdemic major which demand for your whole heartness devoting into the academic world and analyze the fact by your own capacity. These targets have nothing to do with the real world and pramatic process, thus purly human mental effort is enough and is actually sufficient to go on the study. For example, the study of history, which is totally recorded into historical material and without experiment of the society as the world they are studying has vanished and existing no longer which could be only conceived in scholar's mind. ???, comes in my mind immediately. As he devoted himself majority of his life time to contribute a gigantic masterpeice to human beings without communicating with others. As a result he even lost the ability to the others and become so taciturn and introvert. However, we cannot deny his tremendous contribution to the civilization of the whole human beings. Under this circumstance, working outside is really futile. The only thing that professors need to teach to students is the method and logic thinking way they should apply in their further research.

The academic world is consisted by various subjects some are pragmatic and some are scholar, which need to be regarded respectively. Neither would be subjected with extreme demand. As pragmatic

david36355UID: 2603992

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 494
TIME: 0:45:00
DATE: 2009-6-20

quality of instruction at the college and university level.
Not all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. This should be regarded to depend on（这里不能这样连用= =，用一个就好了） the character of the course and
？开头没粘完吧……段首的半句话粘到最后逻辑还是不通呀
其实开头是变相叙述了作者的观点，那么要么更加直接要么更加详细，目前的开头不是很好

Some pragmatic course should take social experience into account. As such kind of course（不要连续用太多course） calls for not only solid foundation of basic knowledge, but also applied （不知道这里是ing还是ed）methods. Solid foundation cannot be neglected, as it is fundamentally part of anything to further development, without supporting of it, anything built is just a aloft pavilian.（恩……这个不知道人家能不能领会，我也不大清楚是不是习语）（而且这一句话说得实话说很不地道） And on the other hand, if no practical knowledge is equipped, then the basic knowledge is stasis in the lowest level.（问题：假如某汉字学老教授只能成天憋在屋里翻文献，对他来说，不到外头去，在学校里憋着就是最好的practical exp。虽然文中就着某些专业进行论述，但是在论述过程当中您已经把“某些专业”撇到一边，看不出特殊性了。）
Otherwise, the course is just like a simple mansion which is established without beautified ornament. Thus products is unfavourable to the customers. （实用主义者看到这句话会微微一笑……论断没有力度）Let's taken clinic major for example. （clinic用法貌似不对）The students have abtained full information of the stucture of huamn body, the actual names of each joint and even acurate point. （even后头的东西，在我这个外行眼里和前头的joint没有任何分别呀）He has been imprted（？）
the approach to inspect every organs of human body, all he lacks is an actrual（同一个词打错两次，可能就说明这个词根本就没记住……更何况这个词是大学程度以下呀） combat. （actual combat，难道就是所谓的“实战”？……）If the professor devoted all his life time in knowledge teaching and equipped without any practical knowledge, how could he assure the safetiness of operating in the process of curing and how to avoid the unusual events during this procedure. Students don't have enough condition to operate one by one in person, and thus , some lethal flaws in pragamtic should be imparted by teacher to reseach outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. （这个例证没有力度，极端得不合情理。没有临床经验，是当不了教授更没办法教学生的，而且这里用作反例实在是太不professional了）

And also, some courses do not seriously call for outside world knowledge（可以适当变换说法）. These courses just like pure acdemic major which demand for your（这个词能不出现就尽量不出现） whole heartness devoting into the academic world and analyze the fact by your own capacity. These targets have nothing to do with the real world（real world……） and pramatic process, thus purly（？） human mental effort is enough and is actually sufficient to go on the study. For example, the study of history, which is totally recorded into historical material and without experiment of the society as the world they are studying has vanished and existing no longer which could be only conceived in scholar's mind. ???,（？） comes in my mind immediately. As he devoted himself majority of his life time to contribute a gigantic masterpeice to human beings without communicating with others. As a result he even lost the ability to the others and become so taciturn and introvert. However, we cannot deny his tremendous contribution to the civilization of the whole human beings. Under this circumstance, working outside is really futile. （话别说得太极端了）The only thing that professors need to teach to students is the method and logic thinking way they should apply in their further research.（授之以渔固然重要。但是这样太极端了，结合实际想一想就能知道根本不合情理）

The academic world is consisted by various subjects some are pragmatic and some are scholars,（这么说稍微实际一点的人就算在学校搞研究也不算是学者了） which need to be regarded respectively. Neither would be subjected with extreme demand. As pragmatic（结尾也没写完）

拼写和语法错误太多太多，中国式英语也不少，论证也不是很到位。而且开头和结尾不知为什么没有写全，文章当中还有？？？的存在……写过之后起码要放在WORD当中改一下最基本的错误呀。
论证过程当中经常出现大量的极端化叙述，其实逻辑很不严密。
总之多加油吧。

泡面UID: 2513568

不好意思哦，这是之前的开篇习作，忘记修改了，昨天急着交作业就交上来了
david点评的很到位，谢谢谢谢~~~
真的觉得自己语言太中式化了，怎么在短时间提高啊…
还有逻辑，崩溃…