【辉太郎杀G大队】7/22 作业by hdsf2003

hdsf2003UID: 2351462

TOPIC: ISSUE56 - "Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."

The speaker asserts that immediate problems should be solved by governments in advance rather than the anticipated future problems. However, what kinds of problems are immediate problems or future problems? Sometimes we can find that so-called future problems become immediate ones before we have time to distinguish them clearly. In my opinion, governments should give priority to important basic problems, such as overpopulation, age problem, deteriorative environment, social stability.

The population has increased significantly since 20th century and becomes a critical global problem. First, a big population exerts heavy stress on employment. The current available positions are beyond the whole demand. Overpopulation will give a negative impact on this issue. More people will find nothing to do and cannot support themselves. Second, overpopulation will cause severe shortage of food. Each person has to consume some food to survive. But the truth is that food productivity is limit and many people are starving and even die every day. Furthermore, more serious social problems will emerge because of the pressure taken by overpopulation. When people cannot get jobs and food, they will take some extreme activities like theft and highjack even local wars. Hence, population should be controlled on the single nation level and international level as well.

Age problem is the consequence of overpopulation in a certain period, which arouses attentions of every government. All of us have to experience such a time when we become old and need more care from others or public communities for the naturally physical inconvenience. Sometimes we seem to be not as respected as before, for the young may think that we old people are a heavy burden of society. Therefore, government should take more measures to help old people lead a good life. The public healthy care systems are very effective to reach this goal. However, current healthy care systems are not well established, especially in some developing and undeveloped countries. It is really a big challenge for those countries where old people are more than the countries could be able to care.
                                                            
The most concerning problem recently is contaminated environment. Many people complain that we cannot breathe fresh air and drink clear water for the heavy polluted environment. This problem has been much more severe than ever before and is a tough issue which cannot be settled in a short time. Despite large sums of money and energy have been paid to solve it, the final effect seems very weak. In this case, more efforts should be make and governments should devote more funding to find a practically effective way and help human get out of this trouble.

Once these problems are not well disposed, our society will become unstable and violent activities will increase. The overpopulation will induce the competition of limit resources and cause social chaos. What an irony it is when governments fail to well care aged people who have devoted all their life time to beautify our society. No one has the enthusiasm to serve the society for they know they will loss the basic care supporting by society when they become old. The earth becomes so bumped and cannot tolerate more destruction and pollution, or more species will die out at a terrifying speed and maybe such a day is coming for human.

Therefore, governments should pay much more attention to these urgent and longstanding problems. Only to do this can we make sure not only the short term problems will be well settled but long term ones.

AliciaSunUID: 2660743

1# hdsf2003

TOPIC: ISSUE56 - "Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."

The speaker asserts that immediate problems should be solved by governments in advance rather than the anticipated future problems. However, what kinds of problems are immediate problems or future problems? Sometimes we can find that so-called future problems become immediate ones before we have time to distinguish them clearly.(写得很好，写得也真大胆。。我不知道这样是不是有点冒险，但是也的确很新颖。。可是你真的考试的时候要想清楚这样写行不行啊。。这有点像让你讨论白猫好还是黑猫好，但是你说不管白猫黑猫，只要是家养的猫都好。可以说是扩展，但是扩展的太快了。不如你先写两段你认为解决immediate problems 和future problems 的各自的利弊什么的，然后再说其实更重要的是基础问题？) In my opinion, governments should give priority to important basic problems, such as overpopulation, age problem, deteriorative environment, social stability.

The population has increased significantly since 20th century and becomes a critical global problem. First, a big population exerts heavy stress on employment. The current available positions are beyond the whole demand. Overpopulation will give a negative impact on this issue. More people will find nothing to do and cannot support themselves.（这几句话的推理关系非常清楚，很有进步！） Second, overpopulation will cause severe shortage of food. Each person has to consume some food to survive. But the truth is that food productivity is limit and many people are starving and even die every day. Furthermore, more serious social problems will emerge because of the pressure taken（用caused好一些） by overpopulation. When people cannot get jobs and food, they will take(perform好点吧？) some extreme activities like theft and highjack even local wars. Hence, population should be controlled on the single nation level and international level as well.（这一段没什么大问题，推理很缜密，语言也灵活多了，不错不错）

Age problem is the consequence of overpopulation in a certain period, which arouses attentions of every government（确定么？有的国家还处在解决疾病的问题。。。）. All of us have to experience such a time when we become old and need more care from others or public communities for the naturally physical inconvenience. Sometimes we seem to be not as respected as before, for the young may think that we old people are a heavy burden of society. （同学，一点小问题，你想说老年人不能得到尊重，不能得到尊重，为什么政府就应该采取措施呢让老人得到关怀呢？加一句话过渡一下下，就说，为了体会一种社会人文关怀啊，人权阿之类的铺垫一下，意义就上去了）Therefore, government should take more measures to help old people lead a good life. The public healthy care systems are very effective to reach this goal.（However, current healthy care systems are not well established, especially in some developing and undeveloped countries. It is really（real这种词不要用啦，太口语化，用apparently之类的， erator统计音节数多的单词总数来评分，真是个很不可理喻的规矩阿） a big challenge for those countries where old people are more than the countries could be able to care.（最后这几句收得还不错。好惊险。）


The most concerning（不确定用得对不对哦，我查资料查不到这个用法，建议改。Concerning是指关于什么，concerned会不会好一点？我不确定哦，自己查查看。） problem recently is contaminated environment. Many people complain that we cannot breathe fresh air and drink clear water for the heavy polluted environment. This problem has been much more severe than ever before and is a tough issue which cannot be settled
（resolved? ）in a short time. Despite large sums of money and energy have been paid to solve it, the final (final是说最终的，我们离最终还很远。。。the effect till now之类的) effect seems very weak. In this case, more efforts should be make and governments should devote more funding to find a practically effective way and help human get out of this trouble.（这一段也不错。）

Once these problems are not well disposed, our society will become unstable and violent activities will increase. The overpopulation will induce the competition of limit resources and cause social chaos. What an irony it is when governments fail to well care aged people who have devoted all their life time to beautify our society. No one has the enthusiasm to serve the society for they know they will loss the basic care supporting by society when they become old.（精彩的） The earth becomes so bumped and cannot tolerate more destruction and pollution, or more species will die out at a terrifying speed and maybe such a day is coming for human.

Therefore, governments should pay much more attention to these urgent and longstanding problems. Only to do this can we make sure not only the short term problems will be well settled but long term ones.

General comments: 我觉得你这篇文章写得不错，看得出来是认真想过的，每句话之间的递进关系非常明显，该有的各个角度也都有了，不错。但是就是立意的问题你再想一下哦，这样写有点冒险。