【MoMA】8.11作文互改组

sharklion_huaUID：2156269

I do not support the opinion that teachers should award students preferentially depending on their effort instead of their achievement. Nearly all the institutions in the real society grade people, and then, based on the grading system, the different ranking bring them different social statuses, distinct financial benefit and variant honors. Because the school system is a sub-system of the whole society, so the teachers should put grade forward when they set the standards awarding students.

School is a place to help people gain more knowledge, improve intellectual thinking ability, and master the ability to survive in the future severe social competition. The achievements have some advantages helping tutors to achieve these goals than the students’ effort can do.

On the one hand, the students who have low grade must have some mistake in their studying, maybe they misunderstand the text book, or maybe they didn’t catch the gist of the teacher’s lecture, which means even they have put many efforts on the studying, but the result is not good. If the teachers award the high grade the students, then the low grade students will know that their studying method is not correct or not efficient, so they will try to correct their way of learning. The grade is a clear and efficient way to identify the education effect. The competition enthusiasm spurred by the award given to high-grade students is also good for students.

On the other hand, sometimes exam grade cannot outline all the facet of a student, like in some art subject, it seems that you cannot give a art work absolutely fair grade, but you also cannot assess the art work by the efforts that the students devotes on. So on these kind of emotional field, the argue of “ effort is more important than grade” is not acceptable.

我是chineseladyUID：2662783

下午时候不在, 晚上又累, 才改...额

I do not support the opinion that teachers should award students preferentially depending on their effort instead of their achievement. Nearly all the institutions in the real real 不用社会本来就是真实的society grade people, and then, based on the grading system, the different ranking bring them different social statuses, distinct financial benefit and variant honors. Because 好像不可以直接引导句子, 再查查the school system is a sub-system of the whole society, so the teachers should put grade forward when they set the standards awarding students 开头很快点明, 好!

School is a place to help people gain more knowledge, improve intellectual thinking ability, and master the ability to survive in the future severe social competition. The achievements have some advantages helping tutors to achieve these goals than the students’ effort can do.

On one hand, the students who have low grade must have some mistake in their studying不一定吧, 有人聪明但是不学习,嘻嘻, maybe they misunderstand the text book, or maybe they didn’t catch the gist of the teacher’s lecture, which means even 是even if 不they have put many efforts on the studying, but the result is not good--did not get good result. If the teachers award the high grade the students, then the low grade students will know that their studying method is not correct or not efficient, so they will try to correct their way of learning. The grade is a clear and efficient way to identify the education effect. The competition enthusiasm spurred by the award given to high-grade students is also good for (other) students

On the other hand, sometimes exam grade cannot outline all the facet of a student, like in some art subject复数, it seems that you cannot give a art work absolutely fair grade, but you also cannot assess the art work by the efforts that the students devotes on. So on these kind of emotional field, the argue of “ effort is more important than grade” is not acceptable.

貌似少个结尾. 前半部分比后面好多了. 观点个我的很不一样. 好像我是表达的不对. 我是想说在努力方面给予奖励也是好的, 即使没有获得成功...写的是有点偏.

cxy7646UID：2595335

I do not support the opinion that teachers should award students preferentially depending on their effort instead of their achievement.Nearly all the institutions in the real society grade people, and then,based on the grading system, the different ranking可数，用复数bring them different social statuses, distinct financial benefit and variant honors. Because the school system is a sub-system of the whole society, so (有because不用so) the teachers should put grade forward when they set the standards awarding students.

School is a place to help people gain more knowledge, improve intellectual thinking ability, and master the ability to survive in the future severe social competition. The achievements have some（more？） advantages helping tutors to achieve these goals than the students’ effort can do.

On the one hand, the 加个限定（hardworking）student swho have low grade must have some mistake in their studying, maybe they misunderstand the text book, or maybe they didn’t catch the gist of the teacher’s lecture, which means even they have put many efforts on the studying, but去掉 the result is not good. If the teachers award the high grade the students去掉后面的the,then the low grade students will know that their studying method is not correct or not efficient, so they will try to correct their way of learning. The grade is a clear and efficient way to identify the education effect. The competition enthusiasm spurred by the award givento high-grade students is also good for students.感觉后两句缺少连接

On the other hand, sometimes exam grade cannot outline all the facet好词of a student, like in some art subject, it seems that you cannot give aart work absolutely fair grade, but you also cannot assess the art workby the efforts that the students devotes on去掉(devote sth. to sth.).So on these kind of emotional field, the argue(argument) of “effort is more important than grade” is not acceptable.深入论证，拜服
最后一段中心句清楚地表达了论点，不过语言上结合得比较勉强

全文用词准确，论点清晰深入
结构上有违鄙人“总分总”的传统思维（不知道IBT怎么要求的，可能是我OUT了）