8.13 homework

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

Attitudes towards choices paying more attention to job or family are various. Should we stay in our offices reading documents day and night or sit on the couch with our lovely children and wife to watch TV?
As far as I'm concerned, spending more time with family is a superior choice, because it has several benefits.
Firstly, it helps to enhance our marriages. Nowadays, the divorce rate rises at an astonishing speed. The essential cause which leads men and women to break their vows is the lack of communication. He or she needs your care and hugs rather than clothing you brought for them. According to xichun, one of the greatest Chinese philosophers in 17th century, the feeling of happiness isn’t based on your financial conditions. So if you want to hold your wife or husband’ hand to the last moment of your life, you‘d better spend more time with your family.
Secondly, this can contribute to educate children better. We all know how important role parents play in growth of a child. Parents are not only teachers but also friends to their kids. When I was a child, I always have a lot of things to tell my parents. Their patience and helps are strong source of energy in my growth. I learned how to get along with others better, how to deal with difficulties and many things I can’t learn in school.
Last but not least, it will keep us fit and in good mood to stay with families more. Families can bring us a strong sense of warmth and safety. We will feel comfortable and relaxed merely when we stay with them. Not mention if we play together, sing in a round or struggle for one goal as a team. All of memories they leave for us are deeply remembered in our hearts. These memories will give us courage to face hardness and overcome them.
Admittedly, choice of spending more time in working has its own advantages. More salaries lighten the family’s financial burden and offer us more possibility to get promoted. However, we should never forget the real meaning of life. I claim that is bringing happiness to others and us. Money is just a tool, not the goal.
All in all, it is spending more time with family that is good to enhance our marriages, contribute to educate children better and keep us fit and in good mood. Thus, spending more time with family is a better choice.

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

Attitudes towards choices paying more attention to job or family are various. Should we stay in our offices reading documents day and night or sit on the couch with our lovely children and wife to watch TV?
     As far as I'm concerned, spending more time with family is a superior choice, because it has several benefits.
     Firstly, it helps to enhance our marriages. Nowadays, the divorce rate rises at an astonishing speed. The essential cause which leads men and women to break their vows is the lack of communication. He or she needs your care and hugs rather than clothing you brought for them. According to xichun, one of the greatest Chinese philosophers in 17th century, the feeling of happiness isn’t based on your financial conditions. So if you want to hold your wife or husband’ hand to the last moment of your life, you‘d better spend more time with your family.
      Secondly, this can contribute to educate children better. We all know how important role parents play in growth of a child. Parents are not only teachers but also friends to their kids. When I was a child, I always have a lot of things to tell my parents. Their patience and helps are strong source of energy in my growth. I learned how to get along with others better, how to deal with difficulties and many things I can’t learn in school.
        Last but not least, it will keep us fit and in good mood to stay with families more. Families can bring us a strong sense of warmth and safety. We will feel comfortable and relaxed merely when we stay with them. Not mention if we play together, sing in a round or struggle for one goal as a team. All of memories they leave for us are deeply remembered in our hearts. These memories will give us courage to face hardness and overcome them.
       Admittedly, choice of spending more time in working has its own advantages. More salaries lighten the family’s financial burden and offer us more possibility to get promoted. However, we should never forget the real meaning of life. I claim that is bringing happiness to others and us. Money is just a tool, not the goal.
       All in all, it is spending more time with family that is good to enhance our marriages, contribute to educate children better and keep us fit and in good mood. Thus, spending more time with family is a better choice.

STELLA710UID：2435774

Attitudes towards choices paying more attention to job or family are various. （开头这句怪怪的）Should we stay in our offices （reading） to read documents day and night or sit on the couch with our lovely children and wife to watch TV?) ^As far as I'm concerned, spending more time with family is a superior choice, because it has several benefits.; l# f: e& c8 ]$ D/ z7 r/ T  a/ s

Firstly, it helps to enhance our marriages（增进婚姻？）. Nowadays, the divorce rate rises at an astonishing speed. The essential cause which leads men and women to break their vows is the lack of communication. He or she needs （your）mutual care and hugs rather than clothing you brought for them（用you人称有点别扭）. According to xichun, one of the greatest Chinese philosophers in 17th century, 后面这句话是引用xichun的吗？要用转述的语气会好些吗？the feeling of happiness isn’t based on your financial conditions. So if you want to hold your wife or husband’ hand to the last moment of your life, you‘d better spend more time with your family.

Secondly, this can contribute to educate children better. We all know how important role parents play in the growth of a child. Parents are not only teachers but also friends to their kids. When I was a child, I always have a lot of things to tell my parents. Their patience and helps are strong source of energy in my growth. I learned how to get along with others better, how to deal with difficulties and many things I can’t learn （in）from school.- \! m* W- h4 e& w(

w
Last but not least, it will keep us fit and in good mood to stay with families more（keep fit在这用得有点怪怪的）. Families can bring us a strong sense of warmth and safety. We will feel comfortable and relaxed merely when we stay with them. Not mention if we play together, sing in a round or struggle for one goal as a team. All of memories they leave for us are deeply （remembered in our hearts有点多余）， （These memories）which will give us courage to face hardness（difficulty and adversity会不会好一点） and overcome them.

Admittedly, choice of spending more time in working has its own advantages. More salaries lighten the family’s financial burden and offer us more possibility to get promoted. However, we should never forget the real meaning of life. I claim that is bringing happiness to others and us. Money is just a tool, not the goal.0 O5 M# I' s0 U% F1 o3 I; t

All in all, （it is） spending more time with family that （is good 略）would be a better way to enhance our marriages, contribute to educate children better and keep us fit and in good mood. Thus, spending more time with family is a better choice.

請多多指教 有改的不好的地方也可以給我指出來啊 嘿嘿:kiss:

jzouc_ibt27UID：2513888

Attitudes towards choices paying more attention to job or family are various. Should we stay in our offices reading documents day and night or sit on the couch with our lovely children and wife (用spouse怎么样) to watch TV(很生动)?



As far as I'm concerned, spending more time with family is a superior choice, because it has several benefits.! b- ?. e6 j8 v5 N: P

Firstly, it helps to enhance our(写作口气的习惯问题，我比较倾向于用第三人称，因为用第一人称感觉是中文讲话的习惯，不知道对不对哈~~~) marriages. Nowadays, the divorce rate rises at an astonishing speed. The essential cause (这个搭配有点奇怪)which leads men and women to break their vows is the lack of communication. He or she needs your(注意人称的使用) care and hugs rather than clothing you brought for them. According to xichun, one of the greatest Chinese philosophers in 17th century, the feeling of happiness isn’t based on your financial conditions. So if you(人称) want to hold your wife or husband’ hand to the last moment of your life, you‘d better spend more time with your family.



Secondly, this(这个代词换成具体的观点比较好) can contribute to educate children better. We all know how(an) important role parents play in growth of a child. Parents are not only teachers but also friends to their kids. When I was a child, I always have a lot of things to tell my parents. Their patience and helps are strong source of energy in my growth(注意搭配). I learned how to get along with others better, how to deal with difficulties and many things I can’t learn in school.; ~: y' e/ A/ _* k( N) Q$ a! H

        Last but not least, it will keep us fit and in good mood to stay with families more. Families can bring us a strong sense of warmth and safety. We will feel comfortable and relaxed merely when we stay with them(Only when we stay with family, will we feel……这样是不是能更好的表达你的意思). Not mention if we play together, sing in a round or struggle for one goal as a team. All of memories they leave for us are deeply remembered(kept) in our hearts. These memories will give us courage to face hardness and overcome them.



Admittedly, choice of spending more time in working has its own advantages. More salaries lighten the family’s financial burden and offer us more possibility to get promoted. However, we should never forget the real meaning of life. I claim that is bringing happiness to others and us. Money is just a tool, not the goal.(写GRE作文余毒是吧，呵呵个人觉得这种对于反对观点的让步用一句话就可以——在ibt-writing里) c) M

+ E' h5 l$ a4 m; P& o
       All in all, it is spending more time with family that is good to enhance our marriages, contribute to educate children better and keep us fit and in good mood. Thus, spending more time with family is a better choice.

写作功底很好，只是注意一下ibt-writing写作的策略，不需要分这么多段落吧，呵呵有点眼花缭乱~~
评的不好还请见谅啊