进军美利坚作文8.13 我是C-lady

我是chineseladyUID：2662783

As the smallest units in society, family essentially makes contribution to unity of one country. Due to the development of economy and communication among international communities, working is not as it basic function to survive. However, considering the harmony of the whole society, spending more time with family still should be advocated. This essay will acclaim that it is pretty significant to stay with family more with details.

It can cause a negative effect for children and society if parents do not spend time with children. In ancient times, people’s working style was limited, arranging from farming to hunting, with wives at home to take care of children. Presently, people probably consider that company with family is waste time or is a traditional life. In fact, it will bring negative consequence to society if family members could not feel love and care from family. A boy, from my class in elementary school, quitted his education and had a miserable life. His parents as vegetables peddlers, spent more hours dealings rather than helping his homework. Before graduation, he started smoking and being impolite to teachers. He also did not go to middle school later. It is a social phenomenon when parents have to work a lot and leave next generation alone. They are the future for any nations and with more young people like that, the development will be lagging. It neither harm to children’s emotion nor society.

In China, spending more time with family and parents is indispensable based on law. Old parents would miss their children when their time is limited to family. According to the law, parents can sue them but it will make children embarrassed. Spending time with family can avoid it, also could help reduce people’s pressure on working. Family members are always closed and dependable friends. It is true that working more may improve material life but missing the best time with family will be serious regrets in one’s life; for instance, growing up with kids, celebrating birthday for old generations.

In conclusion, people need to emphasis on spending more time with family and make our maximum contribution to our family members and harmony for society. It will benefit people themselves and be active for development.

ly8768UID：2452066

1# 我是chineselady

As the smallest units in society, family essentially makes contribution to unity of one country. Due to the development of economy and communication among international communities, working is not as it basic function to survive(这句因果关系不明显啊，由于经济和通讯技术的发展，工作作为生存不再重要了。没什么联系吧). However(没有转折关系啊，前面介绍了工作和家庭的意义，这里想说的是家庭很重要), considering the harmony of the whole society, spending more time with family still should be advocated. This essay will acclaim that it is pretty significant to stay with family more with details.

It can cause a negative effect for children and society if parents do not spend time with children. In ancient times, people’s working style was limited, arranging from farming to hunting, with wives at home to take care of children. Presently(最好能说下现代工作很复杂), people probably consider that company with family is waste time or is a traditional life. In fact, it will bring negative consequence to society if family members could not feel love and care from family. A boy, from my class in elementary school, quitted his education and had a miserable life. His parents as vegetables peddlers, spent more hours dealings rather than helping his homework. Before graduation (from secondary school，后面有个did not go to middle school，这样清楚点), he started smoking and being impolite to teachers. He also did not go to middle school later. It is a social phenomenon when parents have to work a lot and leave next generation alone. They(Children要清楚点) are the future for any nations and (if there are more young people like him，这样逻辑清楚些) with more young people like that, the development will be lagging(lagged). It neither(这里应该是both… and…) harm to children’s emotion nor society.

这个观点到是挺不错的～

In China, spending more time with family and parents is indispensable based on law. Old parents would miss their children when their time is limited to family. According to the law, parents can sue them but it will make children embarrassed. Spending time with family can avoid it, also could help reduce people’s pressure on working. Family members are always closed and dependable friends. It is true that working more may improve material life but missing the best time with family will be serious(seriously) regrets in one’s life; for instance, growing up with kids, celebrating birthday for old generations. (这样：but missing such best time with family will be seriously regrets in one’s
life as growing up with kids, and celebrating birthday for old generations 这样句子显得完整些)

这段的中心句我觉得还是这样的好：对增进家庭感情有好处。事实上这段很少一部分说的是法律问题，并且可以归入家庭感情中。

In conclusion, people need to emphasis(emphasize) on spending more time with family and make our maximum contribution to our family members and harmony for society. It will benefit people themselves and be active for development.

恩，总体写作能力还是挺强的。但一定要注意逻辑关系：1 句子与句子间的逻辑关系 2 文章的主题思想，每段写的要和中心句想关联，第一个论点就挺好的，只是第二个就有些偏离了。其他的就是注意动名词名用错了就好～