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If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, will you use e-mail/text messaging or use telephone/voice-messaging?
Advanced communication means, to a great extent, have changed the way individuals interact with each other in our society. Confronted with a probably contentious or distressful disputation, people might have two ways to deal with it - discussing the problems through text messaging or through voice-messaging. In light of different possibilities, I will chose using e-mail (The previous sentence seems to mean that only text messaging or voice messaging are possible alternatives, and here you seem to mean that 'email' is a 3rd alternative, different from both text messaging and voice messaging.)for my controversial issues.
Few would deny that e-mail goes far towards (This is usually associated with people and their actions contributing to the accomplishment of some goals, rather than inanimate objects.) interpersonal communication as it provides enough space for us (I'm not understanding why 'enough space' is important for interpersonal communication.) and makes long-distance talks possible and convenient. With the help of e-mail, there are more chances for rational argument to be well-organized by people. In other words, the viewpoint of people could be completely expressed in a logical way. Therefore, others might be totally convinced. (There's no specific example to support this, and frankly I can't see why telephone calls can't do all these things.)In this sense, text messaging like e-mail benefit us better probability to gain the upper hand.(Text messaging and emails are not exactly the same..you seem to have assumed that they are the same kind of thing because the question grouped them together. They are both text-based, that's true, but people usually won't say email is a form of text-messaging.)
Further, discussing through text messaging could incredibly contribute to our interpersonal relationship. Many people are afraid of running the risk of offending others so that they wouldn't tell about their actual perspectives to someone else' s face. As a result, people couldn't go deep into the discussion if they encounter some tough issues. Fortunately, text communication offers us more time to adjust our emotion for the sake of being rational. Without conflicts usually brought by face-to-face talking, we could put what we hold (I'm not quite understand this phrase.) in order so that the problem could be fully discussed. (Again, no concrete examples. You seem to associate 'text' strongly with 'rational behavior' – but you've not quite justified it. I could argue that because people are 'afraid of running the risk of offending others', they would choose to vent their feelings through text messaging as this is less risky than offending others face-to-face. So, think about your arguments and assumptions – why do you make your claims as they are, and what are you basing your arguments upon?)
Simultaneously, communicating through voice-messaging, for instance, telephone, also has its advantages. When we have something controversial to argue about immediately, we could turn to the telephone, which might help us settle the discussion in time. Also, voice-messaging is an efficient method for us to learn about what people feel right now. Hence we can control our manner of speaking and way of expression in order not to rankle others.(I don't see how this advantage is not the same as the ones you've talked about for text-messaging/emails. You seem to be very stuck up on the ideas of 'control' and 'rationality' in communication – because the question is about 'upsetting' and 'controversial' problems?)
Given all the advantages of both types of messaging, I think I would use text messaging to talk about contentious problems with others since relatively it is a more deliberate and advisable way.
总结:
你的语言功底还不错,但是论述上没话可说的样子。。既没有例子,也没有很实在的论点,感觉因为题目是关于争论的于是全篇就是围绕着一个‘大家要理智讨论啊理智讨论’各种说 = = 如果你不知道这类比较抽象的题目该怎么下手,一个是先把它转换成实例 – 什么是upsetting/controversial的话题,还需要打电话或者短信的,先举个具体例子(比如,有人考试挂科不能毕业了,要告诉在国内的老妈,现在跟你求救怎么说。。touch wood),然后去想你会以什么理由选择哪一种应对方式。。第二个就是可以练练brainstorming,拿一大张纸,把你所有能想到的和这个题目有关的东西分类写下来,然后从中选择你要说的话题。。而不是看到题目之后第一个想到的东西就忙着往下说。。
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