tesolchina 发表于 2016-8-18 18:45:32

neoweb 发表于 2016-8-18 12:52 static/image/common/back.gif
我写作文水平应该还凑合(托福作文28),V的话还是跪掉了(150),很多词都不认识是裸考的硬伤……
8月9 ...

谢谢 我加你进高分学员榜了

H4_眼瞳 发表于 2016-8-27 15:07:23

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-5 18:28 static/image/common/back.gif
30) Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance.
Write a response in ...

参照了老师您的范文,自己完完整整地写了一篇issue30。希望老师帮忙看看!!!万分感谢!!!

There is no doubt that in modern society, teachers play a significant role in the growth of their students. To encourage teachers to pay more attention to teaching, it is argued that teachers' compensation should be based on academic achievement of their students. I strongly disagree with this proposal as this policy will bring about some adverse effects on teaching as well as learning and damage the education system in the long term. Moreover, such a compensation scheme for teachers is unfair and unreasonable since students' academic performance depends on a variety of factors in addition to teachers' instructions.

If students' academic performance is considered as the standard of teachers' salaries, it is of great possibility that teachers will exhibit some unreasonable behaviors, which do harm to students. For one thing, most teachers may focus exclusively on preparing their students for tests. For example, as English tests stipulated by Chinese government lay great emphasis on listening and reading, teachers are inclined to improve students' techniques for those tests while neglecting the fact that writing and speaking is equally important in language using. As a result, although a great number of students do well in those English tests, they are unable to communicate effectively in English. In addition, some teachers may even treat students unfairly. They would attach special attention to intelligent students but care little about ordinary ones. In this case, a large number of average students are not likely to receive good education which they are supposed to have.

Another problem with such a compensation scheme is that it would distort the education system in the long run. Under this policy, most teachers would only be concerned with their students' academic results. Then, the education system would become test-driven instead of ability oriented. However, the primary goal of education should be to prepare students to be qualified people rather than test-taking machines. In other words, teachers are not only duty-bound to teach students knowledge and skills prescribed by the syllabi, but have the responsibility to develop students in many other important aspects, i.e. how to deal with different kinds of people.

Some people may insist that this proposed policy will create financial incentives for teachers to devote more time and energy to education. While this may be true to some extent, it is necessary to figure out that this policy is hard to implement when it comes to some real situations. As students are not tantamount to industrial products, their knowledge and skills cannot be exactly evaluated. Even though tests scores students receive can, to some degree, reflect their ability, how could we determine how much effects teachers have made on those grades? It is self-evident that students' academic success depends on a variety of factors, such as talent, passion and family background, besides teachers' instructions. That is to say, there are situations that some students perform poorly in schoolwork even though their teachers have spared no effect to help them, while others do well in schoolwork without much help of teachers who are irresponsible. Therefore, basing salaries and remuneration of teachers on students' academic achievement is apparently not fair and reasonable.

In conclusion, I do not believe that students' academic performance should be regarded as the basis of teachers' salaries because such a policy will have a negative influence on both teachers and students and will even deform the education system. Meanwhile, this policy is unfair and unreasonable to carry out with regard to the fact that many other factors affect students' academic achievement beyond the control of teachers.

H4_眼瞳 发表于 2016-8-27 16:30:20

H4_眼瞳 发表于 2016-8-27 15:07 static/image/common/back.gif
参照了老师您的范文,自己完完整整地写了一篇issue30。希望老师帮忙看看!!!万分感谢!!!

There i ...

另外,我很疑惑的一点想请教一下老师您。
假如题干一样,题目要求不一样,那也要重新设置逻辑线吗???
求老师解惑!!!谢谢!

parrotking 发表于 2016-8-27 22:34:19

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-29 21:09 static/image/common/back.gif
Argument2、The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A rec ...

刚开始看这个题目很懵,看了老师的示范,觉得豁然开朗了

parrotking 发表于 2016-8-31 22:04:02

tesolchina 发表于 2015-8-13 12:04 static/image/common/back.gif
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to deci ...

老师,为什么这个argument有两个对立的观点,在写的时候,应该怎么处理后面那个反对的观点?

tesolchina 发表于 2016-8-31 22:14:21

parrotking 发表于 2016-8-31 22:04 static/image/common/back.gif
老师,为什么这个argument有两个对立的观点,在写的时候,应该怎么处理后面那个反对的观点?

这道题好奇怪 我居然没有抄完整的题目 晚点再看看

parrotking 发表于 2016-9-1 00:37:17

终于刷完老师的argument的了,受益匪浅,感谢老师~接下来要动手自己写几篇了~

spring9218 发表于 2016-9-3 15:32:50

谢谢王老师的博客,很多AW讲解让我豁然开朗。考前看了issue范文中的高频题目,很多难写的题目都有好入手的角度和思路。我碰到了历史题,用了老师的思路和自己的例子,拿到4.0,谢谢老师!

万卡 发表于 2016-9-4 08:16:31

感觉自己发现了一个叼的不行的作文宝库啊!!!

C.W.Zhang 发表于 2016-9-4 15:31:53

0826G,昨天作文出分了,特地回来感谢王老师。
我作文一直到剩下十五六天的样子才开始准备,刚开始看李建林的5.5,有一点帮助,但总觉得别扭。
直到只剩下五天的时候在寄托上看到王老师的帖子,简直有一种茅塞顿开的感觉! 瞬间后悔看了那么十几天李建林.......最后一个星期基本都在狂刷王老师的范文和提纲,里面的思路真的对我非常有帮助。可能因为最后一周花在V上的时间上少了,最后只考到157+170,但是作文上了4,对理工科学生,总的来看也算是满意了。
要是没有看王老师的材料,作文真的连3.5都险,再次感谢!
PS. 看王老师的简历在华科任教过呀,本人也是渣科学生~

mrtreeclinical 发表于 2016-9-7 10:23:20

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2018-5-3 20:13 编辑

我没有直接接受王老师的辅导,但一直看着博客学写作。2016年8月27日考试,写作得到了5分。谢谢老师。

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-2157760-1-1.html

3. GRE写作5分训练指南
        阅读此部分内容请保持批判性,我觉得有用的,对你不一定有用。
        我没有上过作文课,我的写作训练来自寄托帖子+个人思考。寄托帖子指的是寄托上一个王老师6分作文写作教学帖子,推荐:https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777232-1-1.html
        另外我用了score it now评分。但其实感觉很不准。我曾用了完全和题目无关的作文score it now依然给打了4分。所以score it now只能帮助你完善结构,对于内容来说,帮助不大。
        正式考试前,我大概issue和argument已经各自写了10篇,总共看过30篇issue或者argument,并按照自己的思路进行过写作训练。不过,考试时我并没有遇到机经。Issue遇到了政治类的,argument忘了。
        在gre三大块里,个人觉得写作拿4.5甚至比verbal上160还要难,只是对于很多学科来说aw要求估计3.5左右就可以了,所以花时间训练似乎也觉得没有必要。博主也实在是无奈,因为专业申请普遍aw平均分在5分及以上。
        尽管aw看似在GRE分数里不太重要,在这里也需要指出,备考完gre后,我感觉最有用的其实就是aw,因为在这个过程中遣词造句和段落排布的写作习惯会在学术写作中帮你不少,当然这是我个人写paper的感觉,因人而异。总而言之,aw很难,但通过合理的训练还是可以在短期内有较大的提升。为了能够提高本部分的干货率,强烈建议自行阅读OG写作的部分的说明。连instructions有哪些都不知道,实在很难沟通哦。
        3.1 关于instructions和模板
        假设你已经看了OG,接下来我想谈谈我对于instructions的了解。
        3.1.1 issue的instructions
        我认为对于issues只有三种类型,一种是分类讨论(你别管它是discuss ways in which hold true or not,还是advantageous or not,都是分类讨论,思路上相似的,区别只在具体行文),第二种是most compelling reason(这种instructions必须先提自己观点,再说别人可能怎么反驳,再证明别人的反驳是无效的),第三种是reason和claim类。
        这三种instructions里最难的是reason和claim,因为你可以同意reason不同意claim,同意claim不同意reason,都不同意或者都同意。于是,选择太多时往往会陷入思考僵局。我自己一般会选择同意reason,不同意claim,理由是它忽略某个其他因素;或者是都不同意,挨个攻击,并提出新观点。都同意总显得缺乏批判精神,同意claim反对reason需要证明两个的connections无效,太难写。
        这三种instructions中最容易的就是most compelling reason,因为中间三到四段的结构已经给你定好了:1-2段你的观点,1段简要说明反方会用什么论据和论点来反驳你,再用一段话说明反方无效。写着特别爽。
        3.1.2 argument的instructions
        至于argument,我认为有四种类型:evidence,assumptions,questions和explanations。但其实,所有的类型都可以化为explanations。想想看,你在说evidence、assumptions、questions时,不就是在讲有其他的可能吗?比如,我们需要评估证据A,因为有可能是XX情况而不是作者说的那样;A假设不一定成立,因为有可能XX;我们需要回答A问题,如果这个问题的答案是XX的话,那么作者的论点就不成立。是不是所有的argument类型归根结底都在让你指出其他可能?指出这一点的原因在于,写argument,归根究底还是要指出其他可能性。
        3.1.3 模板
        说完instructions分类,至此的第一个建议是:每种instruction至少准备一个模板。所谓模板更多的是思路模板,而不是一字一句严格高仿的模板,应该给自己多种可能,在具体写时根据哪个顺畅再决定使用。以下为我自己用的assumptions类的模板。
        第二个建议:主体部分要尽量保证段与段之间的联系,但如果很难想的话,个人认为直接套模板写三个主体段也是可以的。一般在逐层递进的写法中,我倾向于用“To begin with, granted that+ 第一段assumption成立, even if+ 前两段assumptions成立”作为三段的开始,以便让考官感到很明显的段内联系。
        结尾:(第三个建议:不能跟开头一模一样。)、我个人很喜欢使用的是:In conclusion, although the author has very good intention to promote the selling of their products (具体化地写)/ although this argument appears to be plausible (没时间时的写法), a close scrutiny reveals that the aforementioned assumptions (前面提到的假设) should be carefully examined before we determine if the suggestion/argument/reasoning is tenable.

        3.2 关于如何练习写作
        GRE写作训练建议分为三部分:一,提纲练习;二,段内展开练习;三,亮点词句锤炼练习。第二和第三部分练习是我目前读到的攻略里很少会提到的。这么分的一大原因还在于我很想抨击一上来就盲目全文练习,毕竟实在效率太低。当然,为了卡时间还是需要在考前模考上那么两三次。
        一,提纲练习。无数前人整理过了无数机经、出题频率由高按低排的手册。提纲练习主要目的是培养思路,不要太追究细节。1天至少过1个argument和一个issue的提纲。我在考场遇到的题目似乎是“国家强大与否主要看它是否照顾了general welfare而不是艺术和科技的发展”,我是第一次看到这个题目,我最后选择了分发展中国家和发达国家讨论,所以我没有硬挤出三个body paragraphs,而是把中间两段写得非常地详细。
        二,段内展开练习。个人认为段内展开练习是尤其重要的,很大程度上决定了写作是4分还是5分。对比我考试前写的跟开始准备作文时写的,我觉得最大的差异就在于段内展开的水平不同。好的段内展开让你永远不会词穷。熟悉结构化+连接词是这部分训练的目的。Transition word很重要,transition word很重要,transition word很重要。
        比如,body的第一段我通常会“to begin with+ 观点 + as/since 理由(若太长了就分成两句,用as for the reasons)”。然后是道理论证,接着是举例论证。道理论证通常用“If …”的结构,觉得需要的话可以反着也说一下“on the contrary …”。举例论证通常用“Consider …, who ….”。然后写清楚例子。接着说明例子如何符合道理论证和本段的观点,同样可以用“if…”的结构。最后,用“therefore + 结论”结束该段。有时候中间也可以用”without …”的结构来进行论证某事物的重要性。并列的例子用likewise和similarly连接。转折的例子用however, nevertheless和on the contrary连接。
        三,亮点词句锤炼。每个人总要有自己的十几、二十句亮点句。这些应该是因人而异的,可以看文章多临摹。我自己很经常用的几个有:
        ①It is important, if not indispensable, to …
        ②with或者without引出介宾结构,这个介宾结构可以用来引出句子的前提或者背景。用这个结构的好处之一是,后面很快可以跟上if进行反面论证。
        ③As far as I am concerned, whether … depends on …. 这是我常用的全文主旨句。
        ④Some people may argue, to ..(插入语), xxx. 这是我常用的most compelling reason那一段的开头句。
        ⑤有时变换句式,用一些简单的This is to blabla的短句,也有一种句式不单调的感觉。
        ⑥我常用一些gre的词汇来写作,比如lucrative,indispensable,desirable,stagnation(经济停滞),impertinent,grandiloquent(批评argument时用)等等。再此不一一列举,大家在背gre单词时可以在表格里用某种颜色标注一下那些你觉得可能适合你写作用的词汇,然后查几个句子,自己也写几个句子,基本上每次考试就都能用上一些好词汇了。但必须强调的是,没有把握的词汇坚决不用,拼写错误没意思。另外,同义词掌握也很重要,比如你在写argument时常需要表达可靠不可靠的意思,那unquestionable, reliable, plausible, tenable, sound, does not hold true等等都可以替换着使用。
        ⑦collocations。搭配真的很重要,它让稀疏平常的陈述句也能有光彩。建议过一遍短语,然后找一些自己会用的,反复有意识去用,写个两三遍就成习惯了。每个人的惯用短语都不一样。我个人习惯用的都是一些很简单的结构,只是我常常会通过语料库检查我的动宾搭配是否是正确的。
        最后关于写句子灌水。请有水平地灌水,我认为靠扩充“我认为”的词数来加字数很流氓,也不流畅。北美范文里的To support this point we need to look no further than…. /To bolster my argument, we need to look no further on /To the refute argument, we need to look no further on,我坚决不用。哪怕你用个It is important to bear in mind that,读起来都比那些明明用for example就能代替了的灌水句子要好多了吧。另外,其实很多时候“正着说完反着说,反着说完合着说”就能扩充很多字数了呢。同时加上正确的连接词和共享的中心词,就会让人觉得很连贯。

        3.3 关于素材积累
        需要积累政治类/企业类/艺术类/学校类的素材。基本上各找两个然后考试对着往上套就成。Gre填空有时候都是很好的素材来源。我自己政治类准备的素材是各种总统和毛泽东,企业类准备的素材是facebook,三鹿奶粉和BP原油公司;艺术类准备的是普希金、德摩斯梯尼、各个国家的地标景点;学校类的素材我准备了一些科研的人物,如陶哲轩和Eva Vertes。建议此项工作配合着准备提纲做,因为这样你知道你需要的是什么。

        3.4 考场写作
        平时练习争取减少拼写错误。考试时必须着重检查第一段。没把握加不加冠词the就加上,要是通篇漏太多冠词the,观感很差。想不出例子就举一些很general的例子,比如Consider students majoring in psychology/ consider the Academy of the United States等等。

假如没有明天 发表于 2016-9-8 23:23:42

之前准备作文的时候有学长推荐了王老师的帖子,看了之后感觉受益匪浅。作文大概准备了二十天,每天2-3个小时。把网上issue和argument 的高频题目大概分别40道列了提纲,参考了老师很多论点。考前5天开始试写,总共写了10篇,就是按instruction类型写,最后拿了4,真的谢谢老师的分享~

succre 发表于 2016-9-10 22:17:09

好帖子啊  写的作文都很朴实易模仿 但又很有内容   只是还没搞清楚怎么跳到自己想要的那篇

zhangxiaolin22 发表于 2016-9-12 00:04:17

教师节快乐!

Chong0318 发表于 2016-9-13 01:32:10

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