argument 183【ForOneReason小组6】7.22

行走天下UID: 2855381

183.Many employees of major United States corporations are fearful that they will lose their jobs in the near future, but this fear is largely unfounded. According to a recent study, a majority of companies expected to make new hires in the coming year, while fewer companies expected to lay off employees. In addition, although it is very disturbing to be laid off, the proliferation of programs and of workshops designed to improve job-finding skills has made being laid off far less painful than it once was.


Merely based on the claim that most employers will make new hire while few expect to lay off, the speaker asserts there is litter possibility to be laid off thus employees' fear is groundless. To further substantiate this conclusion, he indicates that even if workers are laid off, they will be less painful offered job-finding skills training. However, it's too early to diminish fears as this argument suffers several logical fallacies.
In the first place, the author furnish vague data of jobs which are increased and decreased. Although a majority of companies expect to make new fires, they may create only one or two positions for each. While the fewer companies perhaps sharply shrink the number of their faculty. As a consequence, in total workers's number exceed jobs' number and employer are still likely to be laid off. If true, this will refute the author's conclusion that employees should not expect to be laid off in the near future.
Besides, the argument exhibits no descriptions of new conditions. Even if we assume that all laid-off workers will be rehired by other companies, there 's no evidence that new jobs will offer salaries better than or the same as old ones. Moreover, it is under consideration whether new jobs are temporary. If people are impelled to obtain less salary and worse welfare or still face the feasibility to lose jobs, they will still fear for possible living difficulties.
In addition, the author fails to establish a casual relationship between programs and workshops and finding new jobs. To start with, we expect to be informed of reasons lying in their unemployment. They may be laid off due to their ages or lack of innovations, then job-finding skills improvement will not cover the shortcomings and bring turnings to their career. Before we recognize them helpful, we still acquire more details about programs and workshops to judge whether it will truly be beneficial to job hunting.
In sum, the seemingly well-reasoned argument has several flaws as discussed above. To make it more convincing, it is necessary for the author to supply exact numbers of jobs expected to be offered and to be cut down. Therefore, more information concerning reasons for lay-offs and evaluation of the programs and workshops is useful for the reference.

dyccccUID: 2804635

183.Many employees of major United States corporations are fearful that they will lose their jobs in the near future, but this fear is largely unfounded. According to a recent study, a majority of com ...
行走天下 发表于 2010-7-22 23:16

183.Many employees of major United States corporations are fearful that they will lose their jobs in the near future, but this fear is largely unfounded. According to a recent study, a majority of companies expected to make new hires in the coming year, while fewer companies expected to lay off employees. In addition, although it is very disturbing to be laid off, the proliferation of programs and of workshops designed to improve job-finding skills has made being laid off far less painful than it once was.


Merely based on the claim that most employers will make new hire while few expect to lay off, the speaker asserts there is litter[less] possibility to be laid off thus employees' fear is groundless. To further substantiate this conclusion, he indicates that even if workers are[虚拟语气用were] laid off, they will[虚拟语气用would have been] be less painful offered job-finding skills training.[伴随状语没有用好可以用by offering job-finding skills training] However, it's too early to diminish fears as this argument suffers several logical fallacies.
In the first place, the author furnish vague data of jobs which are increased and decreased[这句话有点问题，你的意思是要表达他在混淆数据但是很不地道，建议再看看]. Although a majority of companies expect to make new fires, they may create only one or two positions for each. While the fewer companies perhaps sharply shrink the number of their faculty. As a consequence, in total workers's number exceed jobs' number and employer are still likely to be laid off. If true, this will refute the author's conclusion that employees should not expect to be laid off in the near future.
Besides, the argument exhibits no descriptions of new conditions[少了点意思，好像是说新工作的情况用conditions of the new work]. Even if we assume that all laid-off workers will be rehired by other companies, there 's no evidence that new jobs will offer salaries better than or the same as old ones. Moreover, it is under consideration whether new jobs are temporary. If people are impelled to obtain less salary and worse welfare or still face the feasibility to lose jobs, they will still fear for possible living difficulties.
In addition, the author fails to establish a casual relationship between programs and workshops and finding new jobs. To start with, we expect to be informed of reasons lying in their unemployment. They may be laid off due to their ages or lack of innovations, then job-finding skills improvement will not cover the shortcomings and bring turnings to their career. Before we recognize them helpful, we still acquire more details about programs and workshops to judge whether it will truly be beneficial to job hunting.
In sum, the seemingly well-reasoned argument has several flaws as discussed above. To make it more convincing, it is necessary for the author to supply exact numbers of jobs expected to be offered and to be cut down. Therefore, more information concerning reasons for lay-offs and evaluation of the programs and workshops is useful for the reference.
事出仓促，我没仔细看这个a有多少逻辑错误，但是总体来说，你的argu也和我有一样的毛病，套模板情况很明显。
不过难说是对是错，因为这样确实容易展开思路，缺点是缺乏变通。之前有人建议我看看官方范文，我觉得很不错，推荐你也看看同时能背诵的话就背几篇。
前面的表达有些中文化，后面和模板想似，基本没大问题。
一起加油~