issue48 V6站队 8。14

zehuaUID: 199246

题目：
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

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The speaker asserts that more emphasis should be placed on ordinary people, not the famous, because the most significant events and trends were made by them. In my view, the speaker's assertion is partly true. The majority of ordinary people are the main force for these important events. However, we should not underrate the role of leaders. In addition, studying the majority of people instead of the famous few is impractical.

It might seem tempting to agree with the speaker, on the basis that major historical events and trends were determined by the majority, not the famous few. As the social animals, human beings live on the interaction and association with others, which forms the society. As a result, the role and efforts of a few individuals is so small and neglectable that they along cannot bring significant changes to the whole society, without the acceptance and efforts of others. Therefore any major events and trends in the society were the result of public support and struggling. Lincoln led Americans to fight against suppression and exploitation of British King, and established USA. However, had it not been for the efforts and struggling of soldiers and nation wide support from the majority, Lincoln along cannot win this battle. The advancement of technology resulted in industrial evolutions. Yet suppose the inventions of engine and discovery of electricity were widely rejected by the public, such significant life changing events would not have occurred. Thus it was the majority of people who made the significant events and trends in history.

However, we should not completely deny the role of importance that the heroes play.
As the leader of a country, the president has the ability to direct his citizens to higher achievement or better safety by his unique insights and sensitivity, while the ordinary people fail to realize the problems. In addition, when faced with extraordinarily strong outer pressure such as invasion, the majority would tend to shake their determinations. At this time, the leader could call on his citizens to firmly stand on the same side against invasion, by his own glamour. Furthermore, suppose there were no discoveries and inventions by scientists, our material world would not advance at all. While the public determine the events and trends, the famous few are the source of these events and trends. Without the source, the events and trends would not exist at all. Therefore the famous few individuals play a vital role in history.

Moreover, even though the events and trends were made by the public, not a few individuals, the current approach to understanding history should not be blamed.
Although present history study places main emphasis on the famous few individuals, this is the most efficient way. While understanding the sources of the significant events, historians could easily master the trends as a whole, in that it were the famous few who induced such events and represent the public wills. Moreover, it would be impractical to study the actions and behaviors of the public. Since studying historical figures generally requires understanding of the available separate pieces of evidence, and paste them together into a continuous record, thorough understanding of a single celebrity would cost the whole life and energy of many historian. Then how to study the behaviors of the majority one by one? In addition, celebrities often left much more historical evidences, while the ordinary people's traits of lives were not careful preserved, rendering it less possible to study them.

In sum, the speaker's statement is partly true. Although the public were the foundamental forces that made major events and trends, we should not overlook the importance of the famous few. Moreover, the present history study of mainly the famous individuals is the right approach.

mkb57288UID: 2105771

B1应该是华盛顿吧
B2没什么问题，清楚也比较流畅
B3按照你的结构这样写也没有问题
整体是很好的一篇

不过在这里交流一点儿个人观点，B3的观点是由待商榷的，现代历史研究是可以做到研究个人背景的，而且是历史研究的范式---见关于法国二月革命的GRE阅读

mkb57288UID: 2105771

个人打分 5

zehuaUID: 199246

谢谢！信心越来越强了！

hyy03203UID: 2125993

The speaker asserts that more emphasis should be placed on ordinary people, not the famous, because the most significant events and trends were made(created and directed, made 太弱了) by them. In my view, the speaker's assertion is partly true. The majority of ordinary people are the main force for these important events. However, we should not underrate the role of leaders. In addition, studying the majority of people instead of the famous few is impractical.

It might seem tempting to agree with the speaker, on the basis that major historical events and trends were determined by the majority, not the famous few. As the social animals（members?）, human beings live on the interaction and association with others, which forms(is essential to) the society. As a result, the role and efforts of a few individuals is so small and neglectable that they along cannot bring significant changes to the whole society, without the acceptance and efforts of others. Therefore any major events and trends in the society were the result of public support and struggling. Lincoln led Americans to fight against suppression and exploitation of British King, and established ?USA. However, had it not been for the efforts and struggling of soldiers and nation wide support from the majority, Lincoln along cannot win this battle. The advancement of technology resulted in industrial evolutions. Yet suppose the inventions of engine and discovery of electricity were widely rejected by the public,(supposing the inventions of engine and discovery of electricity widely rejected by the public) such significant life changing events would not have occurred. Thus it was the majority of people who made(directed) the significant events and trends in history.

However, we should not completely deny the role of importance that the heroes(and heroines 万一女权主义者就不好了) play.
As the leader of a country, the president has the ability to direct his citizens to higher achievement or better safety by his unique insights and sensitivity,(Being the leader of a country, the president should have the ability to guide his citizens to higher achievement or better safety by his penetrating insights and subtle sensitivities) while the ordinary people fail to realize the problems. In addition, when faced with extraordinarily strong outer pressure such as invasion, the majority would tend to(be inclined to) shake their determinations. At this time, the leader could call on his citizens to firmly stand (shoulder to shoulder)on the same side against invasion, by his own glamour. Furthermore, suppose(换成imagine) there were(去掉there were) no discoveries and inventions by scientists, our material world would not advance at all. While the public determine the events and trends, the famous few are the source of these events and trends. Without the source, the events and trends would not exist at all. Therefore the famous few individuals play a vital role in history.

Moreover, even though the events and trends were made by the public, not a few individuals, the current approach to understanding history should not be blamed.
Although present history study places main emphasis on the famous few individuals, this is the most efficient way. While understanding the sources of the significant events, historians could easily master the trends as a whole, in that it were the famous few who induced such events and represent the public wills. Moreover, it would be impractical to study the actions and behaviors of the public. Since studying historical figures generally requires understanding of the available separate pieces of evidence, and paste them together into a continuous record, thorough understanding of a single celebrity would cost the whole life and energy of many historian. Then how to study the behaviors of the majority one by one? In addition, celebrities often left much more historical evidences, while the ordinary people's traits of lives were not careful preserved, rendering it less possible to study them.

In sum, the speaker's statement is partly true. Although the public were the foundamental(拼写不对) forces that made major events and trends, we should not overlook the importance of the famous few. Moreover, the present history study of mainly the famous individuals is the right approach.
我觉得一般，结论不是很好，开头前两句也不怎样。