寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托语言类备考版 › TOEFL考试(IBT)讨论版 › TOEFL(IBT)作业区 › 【daily writing 作业】yyyfor作文贴

1 2 34

返回列表

楼主: yyyfor

[作文] 【daily writing 作业】yyyfor作文贴 [复制链接]

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

46楼

发表于 2012-4-12 15:09:53 |只看该作者

44# 青鱼

谢谢咯..期待你的新作

the pursuit of happiness

使用道具举报

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

47楼

发表于 2012-4-12 15:10:31 |只看该作者

42# idealibt

感谢改的这么仔细...很多问题确实没注意到.谢谢指出..

the pursuit of happiness

使用道具举报

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

48楼

发表于 2012-4-12 15:10:59 |只看该作者

41# 小乔木

我也发现问题了..今后一定要注意..加油

the pursuit of happiness

使用道具举报

坏绿的眼睛
UID：3138294

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 34
寄托币: 560
注册时间: 2011-7-26
精华: 0
帖子: 132

49楼

发表于 2012-4-12 15:48:28 |只看该作者

加油哟

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

这是我不愿醒来的梦。

使用道具举报

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

50楼

发表于 2012-11-28 11:09:15 |只看该作者

感谢各位。。多多拍砖

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

SYNCIA
UID：3130718

荣誉版主

Rank: 9 Rank: 9 Rank: 9

声望: 945
寄托币: 7618
注册时间: 2011-7-16
精华: 4
帖子: 1165

51楼

发表于 2012-11-28 13:08:50 |只看该作者

加油~~

使用道具举报

Yornan UID：3370799 Yornan 当前离线最后登录 2014-12-10 在线时间 202 小时寄托币 200 声望 0 注册时间 2012-9-5 阅读权限 5 帖子 100 精华 0 积分 303 UID 3370799 禁止发言声望 0 寄托币 200 注册时间 2012-9-5 精华 0 帖子 100 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	52楼发表于 2012-11-29 09:27:12 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

	使用道具举报

凯子啊哦
UID：3397376

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 92
寄托币: 852
注册时间: 2012-11-15
精华: 1
帖子: 304

53楼

发表于 2012-11-29 16:58:59 |只看该作者

lz 那个我30号考试考完了给你改成不

使用道具举报

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

54楼

发表于 2012-11-29 22:49:39 |只看该作者

凯子啊哦发表于 2012-11-29 16:58
lz 那个我30号考试考完了给你改成不

好的。。没问题哈。。加油。。

使用道具举报

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

55楼

发表于 2012-12-1 21:51:42 |只看该作者

12.01.。求拍砖求鞭策。。。

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

皮哥大脚
UID：3399152

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 50
寄托币: 137
注册时间: 2012-11-23
精华: 0
帖子: 59

56楼

发表于 2012-12-2 12:05:11 |只看该作者

改好了

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

57楼

发表于 2012-12-2 18:35:17 |只看该作者

皮哥大脚发表于 2012-12-2 12:05
改好了

听完这点听力马上来给你改。。非常感谢。

使用道具举报

yyyfor
UID：3283701

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 360
注册时间: 2012-3-29
精华: 0
帖子: 68

58楼

发表于 2012-12-2 21:32:29 |只看该作者

写的有点语无伦次了，我快疯了。。。快要考试了一点水平不见涨，时间还把握不好。。希望大家多多拍砖，狠狠的拍。。。

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

lindy620
UID：3395656

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 60
寄托币: 804
注册时间: 2012-11-7
精华: 0
帖子: 106

59楼

发表于 2012-12-3 23:37:16 |只看该作者

已改，楼主加油！

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

mpromanus
UID：2565872

长老一袋

Rank: 8 Rank: 8

声望: 762
寄托币: 12296
注册时间: 2008-10-30
精华: 4
帖子: 907

60楼

发表于 2012-12-7 10:50:34 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 mpromanus 于 2012-12-7 02:55 编辑

yyyfor 发表于 2012-12-2 13:32
写的有点语无伦次了，我快疯了。。。快要考试了一点水平不见涨，时间还把握不好。。希望大家多多拍砖，狠狠 ...

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges or universities should (Shouldn't there be another verb like 'provide' here?) students a better job preparation before they start working. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Severe competition among undergraduates appears in company’s application (You seem to mean something like 'job applications'. A 'company's application' literally means the application is done by the 'company', rather than anyone else..do not let the Chinese phrase 公司申请 affect you because Chinese is a very context-dependent language, and a lot of its phrases have default meanings that are assigned by actual uses i.e. pragmatics, rather than what the words literally mean i.e. semantics, so if you just try to translate them to English these phrases usually don't make sense.) everywhere around the world. In order to solve these extremely urgent problems (I assume 'severe competition' counts as one problem. Why are there 'problemS'? Why the plural?), plenty of teachers are pondering an outstanding method to face this conundrum. Some universities have proposed a solution that is to acquire (It took me a while to figure out that you used 'acquire' here probably because you meant to say 'to get students to make a better job preparation', and you think 'acquire' means 'get'. But no: the 'get' in 'to get someone to do something' does NOT mean 'acquire'. The phrase means to ask/make someone do something.) students to make a better job preparation before they start working. I think this opinion is unreasonable in some extent.

Foremost ('foremost' is almost never used alone like this. Stick to 'first and foremost'.), the amount of time and energy are essential to enhancing the impact of our (Who are the 'we' in this 'our'? Why do you need to mention 'we' in this reasoning?) preparation ('preparation' for what?), which is certainly going to cut our rest time as well as to decrease our time which should be spent on works we are fond of. For example, communication signals, a subject of EE (EE could mean anything from 'electrical engineering' to 'early English'. Do not expect people to know what your subject-specific acronyms are, unless you use very very very common ones like the UN – I would even personally prefer to spell UN out. Spell the acronym the first time you use it.), is requires more than thousands of hours for students to comprehend it (I'm trying to be not too critical but 1000 hours is a lot of time, if you do a bit of mathematics – 4 full months of 8 hours every day. And if you think about it, spending this amount of time on one single subject, which probably is only a module for one semester, is quite obviously an exaggeration..unless your school has a rather focused curriculum. Again, I'm not trying to question every detail you put in your essay, and your TOEFL examiners won't either. But my point here is: do give a second thought on what you wrote to see whether it really makes sense. This habit will benefit you in the long run.). What is worse, many students even cannot get through it during several months’ studying. However, if we spend this time in doing physical experiments (What kind of 'physical experiments'? Are these experiments related to communication signals or what?), which may not directly contribute to our work, can enlarge our horizons and strengthen our studying basement (Can't quite guess what you meant to say here. 'baseline', maybe?). (I don't see how your reasoning in this paragraph, especially this last sentence, is relevant to the topic of whether universities should do something about job preparation for students.)

Additionally, we can make more choices which is boosting our knowledge well or increasing our ability instead of wasting time in listening boring speeches or learning vapid knowledge (What do you actually mean by 'boring speeches/vapid knowledge'? Do you allude to the classes you take in university or something else? If you are assuming job preparation=boring speeches/vapid knowledge, the only thing I can say is that your impression is so wrong on so many levels..). Many times when listening to some uninteresting speeches, we prefer to listening to music or watching a fantastic novel (You don't 'watch' a 'novel'. You only 'read' one.). Under this condition, why not universities let students choose the classes they are fond of instead of wasting time in classes with no utility. As we can see, universities request students to take job preparing classes,(Nobody said job preparation support must come in the form of 'classes'. You're imposing an unnecessarily restricted view to the matter.) not only deceasing students’s interest, but also blocking off the road for developing other abilities.(The question asks for 'a better job preparation'. Your argument so far is that job preparation is useless – then shouldn't it be evidence that universities should actually ask for a better, more useful job preparation for students, indeed? Again, you need to think about what you're writing and how it relates to the issue at hand.)

Admittedly, we have to acknowledge that requesting students to do a better job preparation has its merit in some extent. Students who take more preparation are surely to be eminent among coevals. They can prepare for the questions we will face well and have a better understanding of knowledge. However, no one wants to grow up in an insipid circumstance, it is also useless spending time doing something students dislike.(I'm not getting why or how this sentence relates to the previous one. What kind of circumstance do you mean by 'insipid'? Are you trying to say those students who take more preparation will have 'insipid' circumstances and preparation is something students 'dislike'? Why all these pre-supposed assumptions that job preparation is going to be hated so much by students? It almost made me wonder what your university's careers office did to you..)

In conclusion, university should not require their student to prepare for jobs before working. From what has been discussed above, advantages of forcing outweigh disadvantages (This is actually saying that there's more good than bad in forcing students to prepare for jobs. But in the 1st paragraph you seem to mean you think forcing students to prepare for jobs is unreasonable. Again made me wonder if you actually understand what you are writing..). Only if students are placed in an environment where they can study more freely and relax can they study more efficiently and be happier.

总结：

This essay is..chaotic..on so many levels. I can't quite think of a good place to start saying what went wrong. 好吧你自己都知道自己语无伦次了。。你给的问题本身就不完整所以我都不知道你写的时候心里以为题目是什么或者你心里有没有想着题目是什么。。语法语义各种混用各种直翻各种近义词直接换用先不说，这篇文开头和结尾的说辞是矛盾的，导致我没看懂你的论点到底是什么。。另外非常不明白为什么你全篇都是在各种直接判定job preparation必然为非常无聊非常占用时间非常没有用的一件事情，如果你一开始就已经得出这种结论的话，这本质上就变成了‘人是否应该没事儿拿刀砍自己玩儿’这类除了极端情况之外基本不存在争论的问题，那么还有多少讨论应不应该的必要呢。。建议你不要太慌，写作文的时候仔细静心一步一步来，心不要急，少勉强自己写很高深的词汇或者句式，把自己想表达的东西想清楚。。

2016 fall语言学Phd申请情况叨叨帖
DMC 3表忠心花痴帖！