第一篇,求猛拍。
主题:friendship
从小组中学到的词/句:
willingness
as far as I am concered
precious virtue
reliable reference
company
mutual assistance
physically and mentally
establish
ultimate
illustrate
When faced with this question, most people are thrown into a dilemma: they are forced to choose one side when answering. But do the two sides really conflict with each other?
希望每天都有进步!
问题一:句式太单一
mia句:With the rapid development of medium and business, people are crowed by various kinds of advertisements everyday and everywhere while people’s trust to advertisements decreases dramatically.
网友改:With the help of rapid development in mass media, various commercial advertisements nowadays have rushed into people’s daily lives, resulting in people’s ever-decreasing trust for them.
解决方案:好好研读一下300句。总结范文里的句型
问题二:乱用the
解决方案:
再乱用剁手!
问题三:
啰嗦!!喜欢说重复的话
每句话有每句话的用途,谁要看碎碎念啊!!!!
我明明就只有一天没有写作文啊!怎么会有两天的空挡呢?
词:
gradually渐渐地
ingredient重要组成
prestige声望n.
crucial
definitely明确的,肯定的
magnificent高尚的
First and foremost
spiritual
valid
unprecedent
scandal
exposure
constrain
behavior
Mother Teresa
Eldrick quot
spear no effort to
property
precious
再不注意第三人称就剁手!
give rise to a heated discussion about
a controversial issue
两点感悟:
很多issue不是那么绝对的,可以分段讨论
每一段的观点单一比较好,说透彻就好。
To some extent
再写can't这样的缩写就剁手!!!!!!
这一篇写的不好,我已经头昏眼花了。
综合写作中同学提出的不足:
1.情态动词的使用,基本用的全都是Will,我觉得will表达的意思比较单一,可以考虑使用have to ,need ,is forced to ,would rather do 等等,还可以加入虚拟语气,从相反的方面来证明。Etc,Companies would have to hire more workers if ….
3.可以考虑适当添加一些副词来使句子意思更明确,或者更丰富。比如,Inevitably, undoubtedly, unnecessarily等等,你可以试着往上述文章里面加一加,很多地方都可以insert, and it may add some flavors to your composition
4.可以考虑使用一些被动语态、强调句型,让文章句子结构更丰富。