[习作点评] 求路过的gre朋友帮忙看一下文章，非常感谢 [复制链接]

阿姻
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发表于 2018-1-26 23:26:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

有上机改过，但是基础的问题，希望有哪位好人能帮忙看一下文章，提几句建议谢谢，非常感谢。
新G88题，
题目：
The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
　　"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

文章：
As the memorandum written by the vice president, it is necessary of a new store in Plainsville. But how about the purchase?We all know not anyone who take exercise would or could afford such extra expense. The reason described in the memorandum is based on the increasing exercisers including residents, club members and schoolchildren. Obviously, it is dramatically simplified the process about profiting.
To begin with, the experience is not an objective research that it can't illuminate the fact who the real customers are. Maybe some individuals who don't like exercise just fall into love with their products. The running shoes and exercise equipment are in style that could be the reason why they are at all-time highs, and it could also contribute to hard-working saleswomen. While the competition between the new store and these existent stores would lead to a low profit, the merchant report is not clear that we can't know those who purchase shoes and other equipment are eager to the health food and other health-related products.

Additionally, the reason of increasing members of the local health club may get credit for more comfortable environment, lower price and more attracting classes that survive them from death. During the five years, the credit and customers, easily ignored at the first glance, are accumulated day by day that could be essential reason of surviving from bankruptcy. Even though the proportion of club members who are interested in healthy diet and other products is also unknown.

As for the new generation of customers, these products offered by the stored are beyond their purchase power. That means it could not be a potential market. With their growing up, the spotlight of consumption would transfer that heath food and other related products are out of fashion. To some degree, there is no important and vital relationship between exercises and health products whatever stores offer, except having fun in this process.
In a sum, there is no compelling reasons written that the credibility of opening a new store is too low to support this plan.