[a习作temp] Argument184 第6篇大家互相切磋一下 [复制链接]

ponpon
UID：181304

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 1255
注册时间: 2004-10-7
精华: 0
帖子: 1

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-3-1 17:14:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：44分41秒 400words
从2005年2月1日15时29分到2005年2月1日16时44分
------题目------
In the Bayhead Public Library, books that are rarely borrowed continue to take up shelf space year after year, while people who want to read a recent novel frequently find that the library's only copy is checked out. Clearly, the library's plan to replace books that are borrowed no more than once a year with sufficient copies of more recent books will solve this problem. The protest we have heard since this plan was made public has come from a small, and thus unrepresentative, group of some thirty people and so should therefore be ignored.
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer recommends that the library's plan to replace books that are borrowed no more than once a year with sufficient copies of more recent books to solve the problems. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites some relevant evidences, however, the argument is convincing for several critical fallacies after deeply consideration. My reasons are as follows:

To begin with, the protest come from thirty people could not be neglected. For one thing, there is no evidence that the protest is small and unrepresentative, the common sense tells us that there may be something wrong with the plan if it was protested by the public, furthermore, 30 is not a small number, perhaps, it is sufficient to prove the effect of the protest; for another thing, the library should learn the content of the protest clearly. It can not rule out the possibility that these 30 people usually borrow the books from the library and their ideas are very reasonable and constructive to the management of the library.

Granted that the protest can be neglected, the plan of library is also informative. In the first place, although some books are borrowed no more than once a year, they are very significant books and helpful to the scientific research, therefore, it is necessary for research field which can not be replaced; in the second place, whether replacing old books with recent books will solve the problem is highly suspect. If the recent books are just some popular magazines involve about some recreation news, it is no doubt that they would soon become some old books. By that time seldom of them would be borrowed from the library and they are possible to take more shelf space.

In the end, the library make a hasty conclusion to replace the old books. The more kinds of books the library owns, the better the library is. If these books of this kind are replaced just because of its rarely used, gradually, we can imagine that the kinds of books will become smaller and smaller. The library will also meet with new problems.

To sum up, the argument is well presented but not well reasoned and evidences cited could not strongly support the conclusion. To make it logical, the arguer should do more research whether the rarely borrowed books is necessary to replaced, additionally, the arguer should consider idea of the protest.

雖然南洋很小，但我喜歡那個地方，一起去好嘛，做我的朋友妳不會失望！

回应
0

使用道具举报

imjason
UID：176604

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 2982
注册时间: 2004-8-30
精华: 0
帖子: 6

沙发

发表于 2005-3-2 07:41:26 |只看该作者

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the library's plan to replace books that are borrowed no more than once a year with sufficient copies of more recent books to solve the problems. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites some relevant evidences, however, the argument is [un]convincing for several critical fallacies after deeply consideration. My reasons are as follows:

To begin with, the protest come[coming] from thirty people could not be neglected. For one thing, there is no evidence that the protest is small and unrepresentative, the common sense tells us that there may be something wrong with the plan if it was protested by the public,[what is the meaning here?] furthermore, 30 is not a small number, perhaps, it is sufficient to prove the effect of the protest[here I think you should argue it more concretly]; for another thing, the library should learn the content of the protest clearly[no statement has shown that the library had not learned it clearly]. It can not rule out the possibility that these 30 people usually borrow the books from the library and their ideas are very reasonable and constructive to the management of the library.[The last sentense, if you depart it into two ones, may be better!The original one is some confusing!]

Granted that the protest can be neglected, the plan of library is also informative[?]. In the first place, although some books are borrowed no more than once a year, they are [possibly] very significant books and helpful to the scientific research, therefore, it [is] [might be ]necessary for research field which can not be replaced; in the second place, whether replacing old books with recent books will solve the problem is highly suspect. If the recent books are just some popular magazines involve about some recreation news, it is no doubt that they would soon become some["some" can be omitted] old books. By that time [seldom of them] [?can it express like this]would be borrowed from the library and they are possible to take more shelf space.

In the end, the library make a hasty conclusion to replace the old books. The more kinds of books the library owns, the better the library is[not exactly]. If these books of this kind are replaced just because of["of" can be omitted] it[']s rarely used, gradually, we can imagine that the kinds of books will become smaller[less?] and smaller. The library will also meet with new problems.

To sum up, the argument is well presented but not well reasoned and evidences cited could not strongly support the conclusion. To make it logical, the arguer should do more research whether the rarely borrowed books is necessary to replaced, additionally, the arguer should consider idea of the protest.
[你是限时的么？]

[PS：我自己想尽量用英文来做评语，主要是想借此提高打字速度，但是可能会有些表达错误，请你帮忙指出，大家共同进步了。]