[a习作temp] argument40，机经限时，请大家批评并留下链接 [复制链接]

hardbeaver
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-3-2 20:49:42 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

时间有点紧张，而且最要命的是脑子一片糊涂，大家多批评吧。这应该代表我的真实水平了。

Argument40 第8篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：30分5秒 341 words
从2005年2月2日20时12分到2005年2月2日20时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Excello Food Markets.
'In 90 towns where Excello has food markets, natural-food stores specializing in organic food products—products containing no chemical preservatives and made with foods grown without pesticides—have opened nearby as competitors. Surveys of our own customers reveal a growing concern about foods grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals. Recently our market in Sun City participated in a local food tasting fair, and 75 percent of the fair goers who visited the Excello booth requested free samples of organic fruit. Such evidence indicates that to increase our profits, we should begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all our markets.'
------正文------
Before accepting the conclusion that we should begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all our markets to increase our profits, we should first carefully examine the reasoning and evidence.At first glance, it may seem attractive, but upon reflection, we find the conclusion is not very convincing for several reasons.

In the first conclusion, the arguer fails to provides any evidence that stock organic food products can make profits.We know, the profits are determined by several factors, such as the cost of product and the exact number of payoff, but the arguer provide us with neither, without sufficient information, we can not assess the reliability of the conclusion.

In the second place, there exist several defects in the process of justification.First, the arguer just informs us that natural food stores open in 90 towns where Excello has food markets, but he fails to provide that whether natural food stores have gain many profits.If they earn no profits,there is no need to follow them.Second,customers is only concern about foods grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals, but there is no evidence to show that whether using pesticides or preserved with chemicals is the main standard to influence the selling.Third,the survey is neither reliable nor representive, Sun city cannot represent all the cities, 75 percent can not informs us the exact number of fair goers, the reason why fair goers requested free samples,maybe it is just because the food is free.Without possess all useful information we can not make the conclusion.

Finally, the arguer assumes too hastily and arbitrarily that conclusion that we should begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all our markets to increase our profits. Even though the organic food can make profits,he or her provides nothing to prove that organic food can make more profits than other kinds of food.

In conclusion, the persuasiveness of the argument is undermined by the lack of comprehensive anlysis on the conclusion. To support the conclusion, the arguer would have to provide evidence that organic food can make profits. To better evaluate the argument, we would know more information about organic food can make more profits than other kinds of food.

我的作文，请大家拍砖：
issue 38
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252785
argument 230
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252795

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hardbeaver
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沙发

发表于 2005-3-2 22:14:34 |只看该作者

我的作文，请大家拍砖：
issue 38
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252785
argument 230
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252795

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poqmars
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板凳

发表于 2005-3-2 23:32:02 |只看该作者

拼写,语法上的错误较多
Second,customers is only concern about foods grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals, but there is no evidence to show that whether using pesticides or preserved with chemicals is the main standard to influence the selling
这个论点好象不太成立 organic food 是不会存在 pesticide 的
我觉得限时能这样不错了,我限时还没写出过

回改必拍
argument13
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251439
argument44
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251685

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