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[i习作temp] 0910AW SPECTACULAR之 issue 136 by wildrose800331 [复制链接]

wildrose800331
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-6-23 21:42:51 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 136
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare. 著名变态题越难越啃
09.6.18
6:01
a.m.
48 mins
478 words
Increasing people may feel difficult or painstaking when facing too many choices in both daily life and some important turnings of a life. Consumers may decide which to eat everyday, eastern or western food; if western, they may further choose among pizza, hamburger, sandwiches, pasta and so forth. This is also true of some significant moments in life. Graduates may have to choose further study or seeking jobs. If going on study, they need to prefer major, faculty, university, city, or even country to go in. However, those puzzled people perhaps feel lucky when they are informed of others having no choice at all.
Economically speaking, wealthy people have more opportunity to purchase products and services than others in poverty. It is generally true that the more money you have, the more you can buy. In the trend of globalization, many brands of imported as well as domestic products compete to attract customers to buy, who may even feel dizzy when seeing up to hundred kinds of chocolate from all over the world display on shelves in an international chain of supermarket. Nevertheless, it is equally true that poor people are striving for their survival and thus they are never faced with a dilemma of choosing chocolate. It is possibly true that in some countries, which are still prevailed by monopoly rather than competition, and isolation instead of openness, people have no choice when purchasing, which is to say, there may be only one domestic brand for each product, like chocolate.
Politically speaking, people in democratic and peaceful society definitely have more chances to use their rights of choosing than people in a society of hierarchy, dictation or war. The latter’s only choice is to obey superiors as to various political issues ranging from election, joining army, going to war to even sacrifice. Except these issues they have to know and act, they may never be informed of other news that seems irrelevant to them. In this sense, they are not given the basic political rights—rights of information. By contrast, people in society of highly democracy and peace can choose which candidate they like in an election campaign. They can also involve or further supervise some political process in a lawful way. Although sometimes they are immersed in these political stuffs and feel headache, more frequently they enjoy democracy and freedom to choose.
As mentioned above, it is oversimplified and irresponsible to boast that almost all people have choices during their lives in every aspect, because the absence of choice is not a rare but a common circumstance in those less open and democratic societies. As satisfied diners having hamburgers and disserts can not neglect those staving strivers in extreme poverty, political participants choosing a candidate can not take it for granted that the rights of electing and being elected is born to everyone in the world.

Issue, SPECTACULAR, 著名变态题

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sakuraanne
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-26 09:46:07 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 sakuraanne 于 2009-6-26 09:48 编辑

Increasing people may（people may increasingly） feel difficult or painstaking when facing too many choices in both daily life and some important turnings of a（in） life. Consumers may decide which to eat everyday, eastern or western food; if western, they may further choose among pizza, hamburger, sandwiches, pasta and so forth. This is also true of some significant moments in life. Graduates may have to choose further study or seeking jobs. If going on study, they need to prefer(这个词感觉不大好，还是choose吧) major, faculty, university, city, or even country to go in. However, those puzzled people perhaps（may） feel lucky when they are informed of others having no choice at all.

Economically speaking（？什么意思啊from the economical point of view还好一点）, wealthy people have more opportunity（opportunities） to purchase products and services than others （who live）in poverty. It is generally true that the more money you have, the more you can buy. In the trend of globalization, many brands of imported(imported brands) as well as domestic products compete to attract customers to buy, who may even feel dizzy when seeing up to hundred kinds of chocolate from all over the world display on shelves in an international chain of supermarket. Nevertheless, it is equally true that poor people are striving for their survival and thus they are never faced with a dilemma of choosing chocolate. It is possibly true that in some countries, which are still prevailed by monopoly rather than competition, and isolation instead of openness, people have no choice when purchasing, which is to say, there may be only one domestic brand for each product, like chocolate.
这段首句—一般默认为中心句，偏题了。这段讲富人选择多，穷人选择少，穷国选择少，还是偏题。题目不是简单论述什么情况下选择多少，而是讨论选择少的情况是不是稀少。
Politically speaking, people in democratic and peaceful society definitely have more chances to use their rights of choosing than people in a society of hierarchy, dictation or war.（上一段提过，又重复了） The latter’s only choice is to obey superiors as to various political issues ranging from election, joining army, going to war to even sacrifice. Except these issues they have to know and act, they may never be informed of other news that seems irrelevant to them. In this sense, they are not given the basic political rights—rights of information. By contrast, people in society of highly democracy and peace can choose which candidate they like in an election campaign. They can also involve or further supervise some political process in a lawful way. Although sometimes they are immersed in these political stuffs and feel headache, more frequently they enjoy democracy and freedom to choose.
As mentioned above, it is oversimplified and irresponsible to boast that almost all people have choices during their lives in every aspect, because the absence of choice is not a rare but a common circumstance in those less open and democratic societies. As satisfied diners having hamburgers and disserts can not （make us）neglect those staving strivers in extreme poverty, political participants choosing a candidate can not take it for granted that the rights of electing and being elected is born to everyone in the world.
前面两段论述都没有紧扣题意，只在最后提了下很多情况选择少，缺乏说服力。明明前面还说富国可以有更多选择，政治上可以民主地投票选举，有点自相矛盾。一部分情况的选择少并不能说明这是common circumstance.

这篇文章写的不如孩子的社会化那篇，对题目思考不够深入，流于表面的陈述事实，缺乏insightful的自我见解。
一般我看过的几个比较好的破题都说选择多少在于内心，从精神和现实上讲。某些事情，比如乐观的生活态度之类，可以选择，有些既定事实，不能选择，这些事里某些不能改变，某些可以通过精神力量让它变得更好之类。

唯一有的就是单纯的好奇心
结果就是他认为是好的东西
就毫不掩饰的赞美完全敞开心胸
也就是说这家伙太危险了
对他而言什么鉴定的眼光根本没有

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wildrose800331
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板凳

发表于 2009-6-26 13:20:16 |只看该作者

2# sakuraanne
我再吸收点精华准备大改谢谢美眉：）

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wildrose800331
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地板

发表于 2009-6-27 11:37:46 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 wildrose800331 于 2009-6-27 11:57 编辑

看了6篇优秀习作改成这个样子
Increasing people may feel difficult or painstaking when facing too many choices in both daily life and some important turnings in life. Consumers may decide which to eat everyday, eastern or western food; if western, they may further choose among pizza, hamburger, sandwiches, pasta and so forth. This is also true of some significant moments in life. Graduates may have to choose further study or seeking jobs. If going on study, they need to pick up major, faculty, university, city, or even country to go in. These plentiful choices coincide with the assertion that it is a very rare circumstance of no choices.

Comparatively speaking, people nowadays have more opportunities to pursue their best choices, at least in their eyes, than their ancestors. In the field of material life, many imported brands as well as domestic products compete to attract customers to buy. They may even feel dizzy when seeing up to hundred kinds of chocolate from all over the world display on shelves in an international chain of supermarket.
In the political domain,
most of countries evolve from a used-to be society of hierarchy, dictation to one of democracy.
Their citizens have transferred their roles from previous obedient subjects and constant outsiders to informees and decision-makers. Take election for instance, they can choose which candidate they like in the campaign. In the educational perspective, men and women now have equal rights to receive education. They can choose their favorite academic institutes all over the world. Thanks to the economic, technological and political advancement, people in modern society should never use the term" I have no choice but...", but actually it is not true. Then why?

Do people really have no choice nowadays? Close scrutiny can reveal their thought of no choice belies their free will, which is to say, they do have choices but they give up, anyhow. Customers may not buy chocolate because of their budgets; Citizens may not choose any candidates due to their indifference to politics; Students may decide to quit further study owing to their humble academic performances. They, in fact, have chosen the best, feasible and suitable alternative for them in this prosperous, democratic society where striking progress have been persistently made by generations of pioneers and crusaders.
Admittedly, some objective limitations may constrain people's choices but not their free will. In hard times, like economic depression these years, people are still entitled to be free to choose their different life style and their attitude toward life. It is up to people themselves to be positive or negative when encountering unemployment or economic crises, that is, to keep life the same or to try to change it for unknowing good or bad. Brave warriors with free will would not make an excuse like "I have no choice but to wait" or "God arranges me to be a loser", in the face of difficulties, frustration and challenges.
As mentioned above, people nowadays are generally faced with many even sometimes infinite choices of both tiny incidents and significant turns, from every perspective of society. No matter in this general conditions or some specific cases of limited choices, it is human themselves who decide to actively choose from them or not, while the latter decision is a choice as well, a disguised and neglected one. In this light, there is rare situation of absence of choices.

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