寄托天下
查看: 1953|回复: 16
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[作文] 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】xiaogalayy的作文 [复制链接]

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2012-2-22 20:19:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
以下为xiaogalayy的作文~请多多指教~
加油呐!~
回应
0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

沙发
发表于 2012-2-22 20:23:10 |只看该作者
独立写作
2月22日 101030NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.8 Z%

One of the differences between a modern girl and a past one is maybe their attitude toward education. Education is beyond imagination for those discriminated who live in the past. I think it is now easier for people to become educated than in the past.

First, it is really a great advance that ordinary people can enjoy equal education. In the ancient China, only the boys of noble background were allowed to receive education. Children from poor and humble families could have little access to being educated even though sometimes they appeared to be more absorbed by books. In a contrast, education is highly valued throughout the whole modern world and is seen to be a major competency of a country. Children, whether they are boys or girls, poor or rich, have the equal rights to go to school to receive education. In China, for instance, children in school age must go to school to receive education without any tuition. In addition, school is not the only place for a modern man to receive education. Moreover, children are not the only people who enjoy the chance to be educated.

Second, modern technology has enabled different age groups to be educated at different places. Television is regarded as a classical approach to the knowledge of the world. If an old man is regretful about not having the chance to be educated when he was young, he can easily watch education programs on television at home. E-learning enables people to be educated wherever they are. For people on business, they enjoy the numerous online learning programs covering sense of business developing career courses while waiting in the airport. What students find most attractive are open courses shared by world-famous universities covering various topics. In short, as long as people are willing to be educated, people of different age group can find their most suitable way of education.

In conclusion, education is made necessary and approachable for ordinary people. Therefore, people live in the modern world is easier to become educated than in the past.


综合写作TPO13
It has aroused much discussion on the topic that fossils can be purchased through commercial market. The professor in the lecture considers it is beneficial to allow fossils to be purchased through commercial market.

First, the professor argues that this will enable the public to have more opportunity to view these collections. Private collectors can be individuals, but they also can be schools or local libraries. In the later case, it will give these precious fossils greater exposure to more people rather than less.

Second, the professor thinks that it is not realistic to say that private collectors block scientists in their way to analyze and study the fossil. The fossils pass through the scientists' hand before they are traded through commercial market. Since it is scientists who declare the category and other useful properties of fossils, scientists do not miss out anything in their work.

Last, it is unfair to say commercial fossil collectors often destroy the scientific evidence of fossils. As a matter of fact, it is because of these careful collectors that so many fossils can be discovered and well-preserved. Some libraries and school institutions are member of these collectors who have made contributions to the discovery of valuable fossils.

In conclusion, the existence of private fossil collectors does more good to the public and scientific research rather than the other way around.
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
40
寄托币
348
注册时间
2011-5-28
精华
0
帖子
7
板凳
发表于 2012-2-23 17:15:47 |只看该作者
我昨天的综合还没写呢 。。。见谅 我写完了来改你的
开心就好

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
15
寄托币
182
注册时间
2011-5-5
精华
0
帖子
4
地板
发表于 2012-2-23 20:29:27 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 saturn2011 于 2012-2-23 20:30 编辑

2# xiaogalayy 好像短了点,我没数字数,不过应该三段会好些吧,可以把那两段弄短一点
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册
success will not come to me unless i come to it~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

5
发表于 2012-2-23 20:53:21 |只看该作者
3# 小群群
哦好的呢~~
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

6
发表于 2012-2-23 20:57:15 |只看该作者
4# saturn2011
恩,对的,写的太短了,其实刚刚到300字左右,死活憋不出点啥来,真是痛苦啊。。谢谢你的批改呢~也拜读了你的文章,写的不错呐~
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1309
寄托币
29127
注册时间
2008-12-4
精华
8
帖子
1142

Golden Apple 荣誉版主 IBT Zeal IBT Smart IBT Elegance 备考先锋

7
发表于 2012-2-23 21:22:25 |只看该作者
个人觉得说话有点罗嗦,论据内容有待丰富。
比如主体的第二段,现代科技怎样怎样。。。 过去怎样。。。
不仅仅是科技和教育制度 人们的思想,以前。。。现在是。。。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

8
发表于 2012-2-23 22:50:42 |只看该作者
2-23 by xiaogalayy
Friendship is a marvelous connection between two people who have once been strangers. A friend listens to the innermost feeling of another friend, shares opinion on interested topics, and helps to calm down the sorrow in another friend’s heart. However, some people doubt whether two people can become good friends if one of them is richer. I think the friendship has little connection with the material wealth of two friends. Therefore, two people can become good friends even if one of them is richer.

I consider a friend as someone who shares similar points of view on many things with another friend. In this sense, friends can be those who share certain interests with each other or who appreciate certain shinning points in friends’ character. In other words, friends are more about the spiritual communication rather than the connection of material wealth. In my mind, true friends do not take advantage of each other for material wealth as those so-called friends with similar wealth.

In addition, wealth is dependent on many accidental incidents apart from one’s hard work. These influential factors are variable and sometimes unimaginable, covering from heritage from parents, health condition, or even the possibility of winning a lottery. However, none of these exterior influential factors for wealth really affect a true friendship which cares more about spiritual communication. Therefore, a true friend will not abandon his friend when he is in his unfortunate hard times. Actually, a man can get more attention and help from his true friends as the saying goes “A friend in need is a friend in deed”.

Take my father as an example. My father is a kind and generous gentleman with many friends of whom they had been friends since childhood. Due to some accidental opportunities and other factors of wealth, some of my father’s friends do earn a hard living. Despite the fact that my father is a little more money than his unfortunate friends, he keeps their friendship to this day. I have been a good friend of the daughter of my father’s unfortunate friends.

Those who claim two cannot become good friends if one is richer do not understand a true friendship. When they appear to be richer in a friendship, they do not want to help and even are afraid of being burdened by their poor friends. While in the other way around, this time they are diffident to have enough personal charm to win a friend who is richer. As a consequence, they can only imagine a friend with similar wealth for the sake of their safety of wealth and poor personal charm. Unfortunately, they consider too much on wealth which has little influence on a true and durable friendship.

In a nutshell, I am on the side that two people can enjoy a durable friendship even though one of them is richer. True friendship has little thing to do with their material wealth.
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

9
发表于 2012-2-23 22:53:40 |只看该作者
7# 奔跑蜗牛
谢谢呢~很有启发的,看了其他同学的文章也觉得可以学习的地方有很多~
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
15
寄托币
444
注册时间
2011-2-25
精华
0
帖子
12
10
发表于 2012-2-24 17:21:50 |只看该作者
2.23 已改
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

11
发表于 2012-2-24 18:10:06 |只看该作者
10# by900125 恩,好的,回去就看下你的文章。其实,我也是第二次练笔,觉得多写写应该会好很多的~当然不是半小时内写完的啦,写了一个钟头,嘿嘿~作弊啦。。主要是写字速度慢,然后又想得慢~相信多坚持练习就会好的。论坛里有好多牛人值得学习呢~
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

12
发表于 2012-2-24 22:04:20 |只看该作者
The generation gap between grandparents and their grandchildren has been larger than those between parents and their children. Grandparents are always regarded out-of-date and always immersed in their bicycle times, while their grandchildren are fashionable and enjoy their flight times. Old-fashioned grandparents seem to have no say in the increasingly changing world. However, I think their advice still is of great value to their grandchildren in the modern society.

Admittedly, many things act in a different way during the past 50 years. However, the advice of grandparents should be viewed at an abstract perspective. In other words, their advice is an abstract summary from their experience during their long lifetime. Many ideas or values behind different faces of the world still stand the test of times. For example, Aristotle mentioned “happiness” as a common good which human beings pursue through all times even though the concrete contents of happiness vary with the times. It is undeniable that in this day people mostly have a love of happiness.

So it is with means of transport. Seemingly, airplanes and bicycles are exactly two different objects. However, what behind these two means of transport is human beings’ desire to explore the world. It is this very desire that pushes human beings to develop more advanced means of transport with contemporary technology.

The life of a young man can be seen as a book to be written, while the life of an old man maybe a book to be read carefully. As grandparents have undergone numerous difficulties which grandchildren can never imagine, their book of life is a colorful and durable marvel. On one hand, many grandchildren claim their grandparents as antiques in the museum. On the other hand, many grandchildren are so absorbed in classical novels that they can easily identify themselves with main characters even though some of the novels were written a century ago. Part of the reason why this contradicting scene will happen is that grandchildren know the distance from novel characters and themselves. As a result, they tend to see novels at an imaginary and abstract perspective. It is a pity that grandchildren are unwilling to turn to their “speaking novels” who are younger than these classical novels. I believe those who have learnt a lot from novels will definitely find it beneficial to carefully listen to the advice from their grandparents.

In summary, advice of grandparents can be of great value if grandchildren are willing to listen to them in an abstract way.
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
55
寄托币
1655
注册时间
2012-2-22
精华
0
帖子
304

2015 US-applicant

13
发表于 2012-2-26 10:47:55 |只看该作者
2-24综合写作

The professor in the lecture and the reading passage arediscussing about influences of salvage logging. However, the professor holds adifferent opinion against the reading passage. She considers salvage logging asdetrimental to forest in long term. In addition, she regards the economicvalue created in salvage logging given in the reading passage as inadequate.

First, the reading passage thinks the removal of dead treeswill make room for fresh growth. Consequently, it will help the damaged forestto recover immediately. However, in the professor's mind, cleaning up a forestrapidly does not provide a condition for fresh growth. Dead trees deposed can be suitable nutrientsfor future trees. Thus, it is difficult for new trees which lack necessarynutrients to grow with salvage logging.

Second, the professor is against the view in reading passagethat decaying wood is home only for harmful insects. Instead, she thinks sprucebark beetles do not cause any major harm. Moreover, decaying wood is also an idealinhabitant for many birds and insects which do bigcontribution to the long-term health of the forests. In along-term perspective, it will do more harm to remove decaying wood than the harmfulinsects could do.

Last, as for the economic benefits, theprofessor argues that it can be really expensive to pay for fee of helicopterand other vehicles needed for salvage logging while the economicvalue of dead trees is small and temporary.What's more, salvage logging doesn't create jobs for local residents. On thecontrary, outsiders who have more experience and training will take thejobs.
加油呐!~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
422
注册时间
2012-1-30
精华
0
帖子
23
14
发表于 2012-2-26 12:12:45 |只看该作者
对不起!改晚了!这两天有点犯懒,请原谅汗。。


The generation gap between grandparents and their grandchildren has been larger than thosethat? between parents and their children. Grandparents are always regarded (as?)out-of-date and always immersed in their bicycle (old?虽然感觉是精巧的用法,但实在是没查到相关的出处,有点汗诶。。)times, while their grandchildren are fashionable and enjoy their flight times. Old-fashioned grandparents seem to have no say in the increasingly changing world. However, I think their advice still isare of great value to their grandchildren in the modern society.

Admittedly, many things
act in a different way during the past 50 years. However, the advice of grandparents should be viewed at an abstract perspective. In other(
这个不是总结是反驳汗?) words, their advice is an abstract summary from their experience during their long lifetime. Many ideas or values behind different faces of the world still stand the test of times(单数更地道撒?). For example, Aristotle mentioned “happiness” as a common good which human beings pursue through all times even though the concrete contents of happiness vary with the times. It is undeniable that in this day people mostly have a love of happiness???
.

So it is
(same?)
with means of transport. Seemingly, airplanes and bicycles are exactly two different objects. However, what behind these two means of transport is human beings’ desire to explore the world. It is this very desire that pushes human beings to develop more advanced means of transport with contemporary technology.

The life of a young man can be seen as a book to be written, while the life of an old man maybe a book to be read carefully. As grandparents have undergone numerous difficulties which grandchildren can never imagine, their book of life is a colorful and durable marvel. On one hand, many grandchildren claim their grandparents as antiques in the museum. On the other hand, many grandchildren
are so absorbed in classical novels that they can easily identify themselves with
main characters even though some of the novels were written a century ago. Part of the reason why this contradicting scene will happen is that grandchildren know the distance from novel characters and themselves. As a result, they tend to see novels at an imaginary and abstract perspective. It is a pity that grandchildren are unwilling to turn to their “speaking novels” who are younger than these classical novels. I believe those who have learnt a lot from novels will definitely find it beneficial to carefully listen to the advice from their grandparents.

In summary, advice of grandparents can be of great value if grandchildren are willing to listen to them in an abstract way.


橙色紫色讨论下,蓝色是顺便学习了的好用法~~~

楼主论据丰富,观点也很好~!!学习了!!!期待您的回改~~
当里个当。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
19
寄托币
110
注册时间
2012-2-13
精华
0
帖子
5
15
发表于 2012-2-26 23:57:25 |只看该作者
The professor in the lecture and the reading passage arediscussing about influences of salvage logging. However, the professor holds adifferent opinion against the reading passage. She considers salvage logging asdetrimental to forest in long term. In addition, she regards the economicvalue created in salvage logging given in the reading passage as inadequate.0 B+ W9 A6 E" [% |4 L: \

( H9 H% ?2 y! }First, the reading passage thinks the removal of dead treeswill make room for fresh growth. Consequently, it will help the damaged forestto recover immediately. However, in the professor's mind, cleaning up a forestrapidly does not provide a condition for fresh growth. Dead trees deposed can be suitable nutrientsfor future trees. Thus, it is difficult for new trees which lack necessarynutrients to grow with salvage logging.
8 _7 u& J; W" R* m
* y$ s0 ^  w' P  j# USecond, the professor is against the view in reading passagethat decaying wood is home only for harmful insects. Instead, she thinks sprucebark beetles do not cause any major harm. Moreover, decaying wood is also an idealinhabitant for many birds and insects which do bigcontribution to the long-term health of the forests. In along-term perspective, it will do more harm to remove decaying wood than the harmfulinsects could do.
! J1 u! `' m! k  l& X+ Q- n8 Y , e: M" }9 q9 B/ z$ P" }
Last, as for the economic benefits, theprofessor argues that it can be really expensive to pay for fee of helicopterand other vehicles needed for salvage logging while the economicvalue of dead trees is small and temporary.What's more, salvage logging doesn't create jobs for local residents. On thecontrary, outsiders who have more experience and training will take thejobs.
LZ写得很公整啊~

使用道具 举报

RE: 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】xiaogalayy的作文 [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
【Daily Writing作文特训小组】xiaogalayy的作文
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1336727-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部