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egg2000
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2004-1-30 00:46:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

看到这里好多人写issue88，好巧，我也写了这篇。前面有一个被斑竹评了6分的文章，看了很汗颜呀！不知道该不该将自己的文章拿出来贴贴。但是既然来了，就不要退缩，我也献丑了！
:rolleyes:
issue88"Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics." 科学技术不但影响而且决定了社会风俗和民族习惯
Nowadays, every day many new technologies come into being, and these new technologies have brought a myriad of unimaginable changes to our lives. So I agree with that technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs. As for ethics, I am afraid to agree with the speaker's claim. I hold that technologies can influence and even determine many social customs, but they can not influence and determine ethics.

Consider social customs. Use of new technologies has permeated all facets of our lives. At first, consider clothing. Our ancestors dressed leaves and fur. Now, however, use of new textile technologies makes the emergence of the situations that all sorts of colourful cloth and varied designed clothing show different personalities. Then consider foods. Nowadays, vegetables and fruits are not restricted by geography and seasons any longer thanks to vehicles and agriculture technologies. So people give up the habit of depositing vegetables and fruits in abounding seasons in order that they can get these vegetables and fruits. Finally consider living. The content of technology in commodities continuously increases. Take mobile telephone as an example. When the mobile telephone just was invented, the mobile telephone is so large and heavy that it can be regarded as safeguard tools. But now we are surprised by small size and light weight, and the mobile telephone is becoming women's accouterments. And the functions of mobile telephone expanded to sending short messages, recording, digit cameras, internet explorers and mp3 record besides basic function--calling. So people can communicate with family and friends through these new technologies tools, through physically face-to-face instead. In short, social customs is the living habits that people inherited from ancestors. So when technologies changed our living situations, the living habits have to change with the change of living situations.

However, when it comes to ethics, technologies effect is little. Ethics is a general idea or belief that influences people's behavior and attitudes, that is, ethics is a moral rules or principles of behavior for deciding what is right and wrong. From the definition of ethics, ethics differs from customs. Ethics is inherited from ancestors, which is similar with customs, but ethics is not influenced by the living situations. From the point of views of society, the major effect factors on shaping social ethics are races, cultures, and geographical circumstance. Technologies can not operate on these factors that are inherent in races. Technologies would can influence and determine races until technologies could change races. Actually, it is impossible to change races up to now. So similarly it is impossible for technologies to influence and even determine ethics.

In sum, technologies have introduced some new life tools and new life styles. Consequently, social customs have taken place wonderful changes. Technologies not only influence but also determine social customs. However, our social ethics remain correspondingly unaltered. Technologies little influence social ethics.

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runwow
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沙发

发表于 2004-1-30 05:50:48 |只看该作者

issue88"Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics." 科学技术不但影响而且决定了社会风俗和民族习惯
Nowadays, every day many new technologies come into being, and these new technologies have brought a myriad of unimaginable changes to our lives. So I agree with that technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs. As for ethics, I am afraid to agree with the speaker's claim. I hold that technologies can influence and even determine many social customs, but they can not influence and determine ethics.开头作了一些背景挺好。

Consider social customs（有点口语化）. (The?)Use of new technologies（题目是technologies，technologies is new 与否是根据时代的不同，你这里使范围变小了） has permeated all facets of our lives. At first, consider clothing(有点口语化). Our ancestors dressed leaves and fur. Now, however, use of new textile technologies makes the emergence（makes the emergence表达有点不好，但我无建议） of the situations that all sorts of colourful cloth and varied designed clothing show different personalities（我想你是要表达衣着习惯不同）. Then consider foods(有点口语化). Nowadays, vegetables and fruits are not restricted by geography and seasons any longer thanks to vehicles and agriculture technologies. So people give up the habit of depositing vegetables and fruits in abounding seasons in order that they can get these vegetables and fruits. (in order that后面改成they can get them when they need  怎样？)Finally consider living（有点口语化）. The content of technology in commodities continuously increases. Take mobile telephone as an example. When the mobile telephone just was invented, the mobile telephone (the mobile telephone---àit  怎样？)is so large and heavy that it can be regarded as safeguard tools. But now we are surprised by (its )small size and( its ) light weight, and the mobile telephone is becoming women's accouterments(and 后面感觉有点多余，要不改成因果关系？  ). And the functions of mobile telephone expanded to sending short messages, recording, digit cameras, internet explorers and mp3 record besides basic function--calling. So people can communicate with family and friends through these new technologies tools,
（逗号后我有点看不懂，请指点） through physically face-to-face instead. In short, social customs is the living habits that people inherited from( our) ancestors. So ( so是口语吧，用therefore, 怎样？ )when technologies changed our living situations, the living habits have to change（该用被动） with （with 改成on the base of）the change of living situations.
你的思路：new technologies 已经渗透我们生活各方面，technologies change我们生活环境(我认为这里你论述不清楚,加上两三句论述，如何？)，living habits需与生活环境一起改变，而另一方面social customs is the living habits（你无论证），故technologies can influence and even determine many social customs。
你以衣，食，住(就欠了行，嘿嘿)为论据，论证new technologies 已经渗透我们生活各方面，
我认为挺不错。但Eg3:living，我想你是要表达生活（our life 吧），而不是住。

However, when it comes to ethics, technologies effect （ the effect of technologies ?）is little. Ethics is a general idea or belief that influences people's behavior and attitudes, that is, ethics is a moral rules or principles of behavior for deciding what is right and wrong. From the definition of ethics, ethics differs from customs. Ethics is inherited from （our ）ancestors, which is similar with customs, but ethics is not influenced by the living situations. From the point of views of society, the major effect factors on shaping social ethics are races, cultures（ customs不属于cultures？）, and geographical circumstance. Technologies can not operate on these factors that are inherent in races（这里有因果关系,我认为你无把具体内容说清楚，而races are inherent in races ?我有点不懂，请指点一下  ）. Technologies would can（ not?  ） influence and determine races until technologies could change races. Actually, it is impossible to change races up to now(up to 用挺好 ). So similarly( 改成based on the analysis,  如何？ ) it is impossible for technologies to influence and even determine ethics.
你的思路：the major effect factors on shaping social ethics are races, cultures（, and geographical circumstance，而technologies不能operate on these factors，故technologies 不能influence and even determine ethics.用逻辑论证法来论证。个人认为你论述不足。

In sum, technologies have introduced some new life tools and new life styles. Consequently, social customs have taken place(  被动？ ) wonderful changes. Technologies not only influence but also determine social customs. However, our social ethics remain correspondingly unaltered(被动？). Technologies little influence social ethics
结尾：Technologies little influence social ethics 而题目not only influence but determine, 如果你写成：Technologies little influence social ethics，更不用说determine，那么话就更圆。

你语言简短，利索。

Body 2 你对ethics 作了定义，我很同意，而body1则无对customs作了定义, 个人认为customs也作定义好些，让读者比较ethics与customs不同点，明白你为何只advocate one.

我读你文章有一种你中文直译成英文的感觉，而你的口语化表达也很明显。

我的水平很菜，我意见你只作参考，如有错误之处请见谅。

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runwow
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板凳

发表于 2004-1-30 06:36:32 |只看该作者

追加一句：你字数未达500,我看大侠们评论最好字数500以上。

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imong
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地板

发表于 2004-1-30 09:30:16 |只看该作者

字数不是凑出来的
千万不要弄混了因果关系哦:)

Rien de réel ne peut être menacé.
Rien d'irréel n'existe.

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egg2000
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5楼

发表于 2004-1-30 15:14:46 |只看该作者

Thanks

首先谢谢二楼的披阅。可以看出你改得很仔细。一定很费你的时间吧！多谢了！ :p :D

take place “发生”的意思，没有被动态的，就像happen没有被动一样。

你有句话看不明白，我看了看，原来我自己将意思弄错了，难怪你看不明白。嘿嘿~(脸红ing）

我也感觉自己的论述总是不到位，看来我的逻辑方面有些欠缺。 :( 怎么提高呢？有方法么？

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runwow
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6楼

发表于 2004-1-30 16:14:31 |只看该作者

"take place 没有被动态的"
我也脸红竟，竟忘了这语法，现在想起了。学的语法已经很多送还给老师！！！！！。。。。：）
字数500以上，当然有一定质量作为前提。之前发贴时头脑有点迷迷。

“怎么提高呢？有方法么？”我也有点不解，但懂得事情发生都一定前提，我经常思考有什么前提？前提间有什么异同？
我想也请教各位大侠！

互相指点一下吧，我也很菜。

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