[a习作temp] 0910AW 个人习作之 Argument35 By GA-ROW hdxhz [复制链接]

hdxhz
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-7-27 12:11:17 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT35 - The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.

"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
WORDS: 486
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009/7/25 14:10:20

The arguer recommends that the new use for salicylates would result in the steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the citizens of Mentia (M). To support the assertion, he indicates the revelation of salicylates and aspirin. Furthermore, he cites the sutdy implying the correlation of commercial use of salicylates with the decline of the headaches. However, the recommendation suffers from several flaws serving to undermine the conclusion.

To start with, that salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin is far from enough to imply that salicylates can help to cure headaches. Common sense tells us that the similarities in the structure do not necessarily indicate the similarity in their functions. As is well known, there are many substances in the chemical family of aspirin, and obviously not each of these substances would suffice to help to appease the headaches as aspirin can. In short, merely based on the chemical family salicylates belong to, the arguer fails to substantiate the function of the substance.

Moreover, it is of little credence in indicating the correlation of salicylates in commercial use with the steady decline in the number of headaches. Firstly, used as preservatives, the amount of salicylates in commercial use would be quite small, or even negligible compared with the rich amount in many foods. Thus the increase of salicylates in foods may be very little, and thus would not suffice to be the major cause of the decline. Secondly, the study reveals nothing but the coexistence of the two factors, and lends no evidence to the reason-effect relation of the two. It is entirely likely that the improvement of the treatment facilities help people to defend headaches more efficaciously. Or perhaps the invention of a new kind of drug has freed many people from the suffering of headaches during the past 20 years.

Finally, even granted that salicylates in commercial use have contributed to the decline of numbers of headaches, the conclusion that the new use would continue to take effect is unwarranted. At first, the amount of the new use may be very little compared with the amount used as preservatives. In such cases, the new use may not make a contribution to the continued decline. Moreover, the arguer fails to offer any information about the headaches of the citizens in M. It is entirely possible that most people in M suffer from a different headache from the participants in the study, and thus the new use would not help people to heal the disease.

To sum up, the arguer fails to substantiate his or her conclusion that the new use of salicylates would contribute to the decline of the number of headaches in M. To make the argument more thorough, he or she has to offer more information indicating the cause-effect relation of the use of s and the decline of headaches, as well as the information of the people suffering headaches in M compared with the participants in the study.

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Neptune2010
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沙发

发表于 2009-7-29 00:44:20 |只看该作者

The arguer recommends that the new use for salicylates would result in the steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the citizens of Mentia (M). To support the assertion, he indicates the revelation of salicylates and aspirin. Furthermore, he cites the sutdy implying the correlation of commercial use of salicylates with the decline of the headaches. However, the recommendation suffers from several flaws serving to undermine the conclusion.

To start with, that salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin is far from enough to imply that salicylates can help to cure headaches. Common sense tells us that the similarities in the structure do not necessarily indicate the similarity in their functions. As is well known, there are many substances in the chemical family of aspirin, and obviously not each of these substances would suffice to help to appease the headaches as aspirin can. In short, merely based on the chemical family salicylates belong to, the arguer fails to substantiate the function of the substance.

Moreover, it is of little credence in indicating the correlation of salicylates in commercial use with the steady decline in the number of headaches. Firstly, used as preservatives, the amount of salicylates in commercial use would be quite small, or even negligible compared with the rich amount in many foods. Thus the increase of salicylates in foods may be very little, and thus would not suffice to be the major cause of the decline. Secondly, the study reveals nothing but the coexistence of the two factors, and lends no evidence to the reason-effect relation of the two. It is entirely likely that the improvement of the treatment facilities help people to defend headaches more efficaciously. Or perhaps the invention of a new kind of drug has freed many people from the suffering of headaches during the past 20 years.

Finally, even granted that salicylates in commercial use have contributed to the decline of numbers of headaches, the conclusion that the new use would continue to take effect is unwarranted. At first, the amount of the new use may be very little compared with the amount used as preservatives.（为什么？要说明一下） In such cases, the new use may not make a contribution to the continued decline. Moreover, the arguer fails to offer any information about the headaches of the citizens in M. It is entirely possible that most people in M suffer from a different headache（这个很牵强） from the participants in the study, and thus the new use would not help people to heal the disease.

To sum up, the arguer fails to substantiate his or her conclusion that the new use of salicylates would contribute to the decline of the number of headaches in M. To make the argument more thorough, he or she has to offer more information indicating the cause-effect relation of the use of s and the decline of headaches, as well as the information of the people suffering headaches in M compared with the participants in the study.

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hdxhz
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板凳

发表于 2009-7-30 16:08:05 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 hdxhz 于 2009-7-30 16:09 编辑

The arguer recommends that the new use for salicylates would result in the steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the citizens of Mentia (M). To support the assertion, he indicates the revelation of salicylates and aspirin. Furthermore, he cites the sutdy implying the correlation of commercial use of salicylates with the decline of the headaches. However, the recommendation suffers from several flaws serving to undermine the conclusion.

To start with, that salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin is far from enough to imply that salicylates can help to cure headaches. Common sense tells us that the similarities in the structure do not necessarily indicate the similarity in their functions. As is well known, there are many substances in the chemical family of aspirin, and obviously not each of these substances would suffice to help to appease the headaches as aspirin can. In short, merely based on the chemical family salicylates belong to, the arguer fails to substantiate the function of the substance.

Moreover, it is of little credence in indicating the correlation of salicylates in commercial use with the steady decline in the number of headaches. Firstly, used as preservatives, the amount of salicylates in commercial use would be quite small, or even negligible compared with the rich amount in many foods. Thus the increase of salicylates in foods may be very little, and thus would not suffice to be the major cause of the decline. Secondly, the study reveals nothing but the coexistence of the two factors, and lends no evidence to the reason-effect relation of the two. It is entirely likely that the improvement of the treatment facilities help people to defend headaches more efficaciously. Or perhaps the invention of a new kind of drug has freed many people from the suffering of headaches during the past 20 years.

Finally, even granted that salicylates in commercial use have contributed to the decline of numbers of headaches, the conclusion that the new use would continue to take effect is unwarranted. At first, the amount of the new use may be very little compared with the amount used as preservatives, because the amount of additives in food is often relatively low. In such cases, the new use may not make a contribution to the continued decline. Moreover, the arguer fails to offer any information about the headaches of participators in the survey. It is entirely possible that most people in the survey suffer from headache due to the long-term sleepless, while most people in M suffer from headaches arising from a cold. And thus the new use would not help people to heal the disease.（这里原来说反了，如果说研究里面的人群可能会比较好吧？不知道这样如何？）

To sum up, the arguer fails to substantiate his or her conclusion that the new use of salicylates would contribute to the decline of the number of headaches in M. To make the argument more thorough, he or she has to offer more information indicating the cause-effect relation of the use of s and the decline of headaches, as well as the information of the people suffering headaches in M compared with the participants in the study.

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