[未归类] eddie的独立作文 1.31 [复制链接]

eddie23508ok
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-1-31 23:59:52 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 eddie23508ok 于 2010-2-1 00:00 编辑

1.31 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The environmental issue is too complex to be handled by the individual.

It is not deniable that we humanbeings are midgets in front of the powerful giant--nature. And often when environment changes greatly, we can do nothing but just bear it. However, I disagree with the over-pessimistic point of view in the topic, and for my part, I also do believe that individuals absolutely are not the ones who can not do anything when faced with environment problems. And I hold this point of view for the following reasons.

Firstly we have to admit that sometimes as humanbeings, our power is still too limited to solve the environmental problems. As we all know, environmental problems are not the phenomenon of single cause, which on the contrary consist of many comprehensive and complex factors. For example, some regional climatic change which has terribly influence people's life could probably involve many reasons such as the air pollution, local over-deforestation or other inappropriate human activities. When one day we realize that this disaster is their "masterpiece", the recovery of the local environment has become the mission that is beyond people's ability.

Secondly, although faced with most of the currently existing environmental problems, efforts of individuals could fade, we should realize that most of the environmental problems render as the accumulation of individual ignorance towards environment and as long as we as individuals all stop our environment-unfriendly actions can we form strong power to prevent the deterioration of the environment. As we can see today, many policies of environment protection are advocated and the sense of protecting our environment are being imparted to individuals. For examples, in order to decelerate the declining of our water resource, various kinds of water saving methods are applied for household and industry. What’s more, self-conscious individuals are pay more and more attention to the energy saving in order to reduce the usage of fossil fuels and prevent the trend of global warming. And lots of organizations of individuals are trying their best to spread the advocacy of environment protection. Therefore in front of the environment problems individuals are really capable of doing something.

Last but not least, with the roaring development of the scientific technology, many environmental problems which used to be complex are now within the ability of humanbeings. And since individual understand the cause of some environmental problems, those problems are no longer complex as they used to be for individuals. For instance, in the past, we have no idea that the ozone layer were becoming thinner and thinner, even until the hole appeared, we still felt that we could do nothing to stop it. Nowadays with the advancement of the science, we know what causes the problems and by advocating that freon should no longer be used, we can stop this trend.

To sum up, although sometimes environmental problems are really too complex to solve, we can still try our every of effort to fight against them. And with the development of the science, we can deal with more and more environmental problems which used to be impossible mission for us.

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carriexu
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沙发

发表于 2010-2-1 13:21:26 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 carriexu 于 2010-2-1 13:25 编辑

最后完整的修改在3楼，那个看着更清晰
& It is not deniable（直接用undeniable就可以） that we humanbeings are midgets in front of the powerful giant--nature. And often when environment changes greatly, we can do nothing but just bear it. However, I disagree with the over-pessimistic point of view in the topic, and for my part, I also do believe that individuals absolutely are not the ones who can not do anything when faced with environment problems. And I hold this point of view for the following reasons.- w, j" l+ j7 @: h2 V

Firstly（这应该有，号吧） we have to admit that sometimes as humanbeings（我感觉sometimes as humanbeings有点多余）, our power is still too limited to solve the environmental problems. （感觉这个观点最贴题）As we all know, environmental problems are not the phenomenon of single cause, which on the contrary consist（我感觉这里最好不用这种非限制性定语从句，这里which正规的用法就是修饰一句话或者逗号前面的词，我感觉你是想说环境问题是由综合的复杂的factors组成的，但你现在的定语从句修饰的是cause是由综合复杂的factors是组成的，如果真是想修饰cause，那后面就应该用consists of。这么改你看看On the contrary,these problems consist of comprehensive and complicated factors.） of many comprehensive and complex factors. For example, some regional climatic change which has terribly influence people's life could probably involve many reasons such as the air pollution, local over-deforestation or other inappropriate human activities. (能用some修饰changes应该是复数，定语从句的谓语动词也应该是复数，正确词组应该是have influence on 少介词，terribly influence是极大影响，没有表示清是什么影响，应该是terribly negative influence。这句话的语法错误我在下面改啦)When one day we realize that this disaster is their（这里的their没有指代，老外能不能知道你说的是谁呢，用human “masterpiece”应该就行） "masterpiece", the recovery of the local environment has become the mission that is beyond people's ability.(感觉你的最后一句话对观点的总结不是很恰当，加上一句话来补充应该比较好吧，Without cooperations among all countries，these problems are too difficult to be solved.)
Secondly, although faced with most of the currently existing environmental problems,(要是没记错faced应该有逻辑主语，efforts做逻辑主语有问题吧，并且应该用facing吧，如果是faced with 应该是being faced with，不知道是不是我理解的不对，efforts of individuals could fade这句话是不是放错地方啦)， efforts of individuals could fade, we should realize that most of the environmental problems render （我不是很清楚render的用法，但感觉你用主动表达的意思好像理解不同，不知道你是不是想表达环境问题是人类对环境无知造成的要是这样的话应该用are rendered by 吧，这个问题感觉你最好还是求助下英语专业人士，实在不行就换个简单词汇也行吧，are caused by ，are the result of ,are resulted from）as the accumulation of individual ignorance towards environment and as long as we as individuals all stop our environment-unfriendly actions can we form strong power to prevent the deterioration of the environment. As we can see today, many policies of environment protection are advocated and the sense of protecting our environment are being imparted to individuals. For examples, in order to decelerate the declining of our water resource, various kinds of water saving methods are applied for（应用于介词是to） household and industry. What’s more, self-conscious individuals are pay(不知道你是想说are paying，还是就是pay，如果是pay 就把are 删掉吧) more and more attention to the energy saving in order to reduce the usage of fossil fuels and prevent the trend of global warming. And lots of organizations of individuals are trying their best to spread the advocacy of environment protection. Therefore(,) in front of the environment problems(,) individuals are really capable of doing something.6 W) Q2 O* t3 f) O' ]6 I: L

Last but not least, with the roaring development of the scientific technology, many environmental problems which used to be complex are now within the ability of humanbeings. And since individual understand the cause of some environmental problems, those problems are no longer complex as they used to be for individuals(感觉后半句和第一句观点有点重复，不知道这样行不行,it becomes much easier for us to avoid these problems). For instance, in the past, we have no idea that the ozone layer were becoming thinner and thinner, even until the hole appeared, we still felt that we could do nothing to stop it. Nowadays with the advancement of the science, we know what causes the problems and by advocating that freon should no longer be used, we can stop this trend.(感觉这例子是不是逻辑上有点问题，应该是我们知道臭氧层在变薄，出现漏洞，但是并不知道是什么原因导致的。直到科学家发现产生问题的原因，我们才知道应该怎样避免对臭氧层造成破坏。感觉这个逻辑更支持你的观点For instance，in the past，we recognized that the ozone layer were becoming thinner and thinner, even until the hole appeared,but we have no idea about what caused this problem.However,with the development of the science,we discoveried the secreats of this phenomenon and we found out more and more ways to solve this problem.For example,if everyone used public transportations as often as possible,we should reduce the oil consumption. As a idiom said:many a little makes a mickle. I believe that as long as everyone do their best to make a life style change
can we obviously improve the environment.)

To sum up, although sometimes environmental problems are really too complex to solve, we can（应该是should吧，我们应该进我们最大的努力与之作斗争） still try our every of(这里没有of 就是every effort表示尽一切努力) effort to fight against them. And with the development of the science, we can deal with more and more environmental problems which used to be impossible mission for us.
我感觉例子都不错，观点也挺明确，就是两者的结合可能改进下更完美。词汇也很丰富，明显比我的用词高级。

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carriexu
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板凳

发表于 2010-2-1 13:27:52 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 carriexu 于 2010-2-1 13:29 编辑

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arlenezxy
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地板

发表于 2010-2-1 17:46:57 |只看该作者

It is not deniable （undeniable)that we humanbeings are midgets in front of the powerful giant--nature. And often when environment changes greatly, we can do nothing but just bear it. However, I disagree with the over-pessimistic point of view in the topic, and for my part, I also do believe that individuals absolutely are not the ones who can not do anything (三重否定来加强语气似乎有点啰嗦，do nothing but follow the destiny 是不是好些？)when faced with environment problems. And I hold this point of view for the following reasons.7
Firstly we have to admit that sometimes as humanbeings, our power is still too limited to solve the environmental problems. As we all know, environmental problems are not the phenomenon of single cause, which on the contrary consist of many comprehensive and complex factors. For example, some regional climatic change which has terribly influenced people's life could probably involve many reasons such as the air pollution, local over-deforestation or other inappropriate human activities. When one day when we realize that this disaster is their (our)"masterpiece", the recovery of the local environment has become the mission that is beyond people's ability.

Secondly, although faced with most of the currently existing environmental problems, (去掉逗号用that连接更清楚，不然effort和we就两个主语了）efforts of individuals could fade, we should realize that most of the environmental problems render as the accumulation of individual ignorance towards environment and as long as we as individuals（最后一个as去掉） all stop our environment-unfriendly actions can we form strong power to prevent the deterioration of the environment(这个句子太长了容易出错。我这样改你看看是不是清楚些Secondly, although faced with most of the currently existing environmental problems that efforts of individuals seem fade, we should realize that most of the environmental problems are rendered as the accumulation of individual 's ignorance towards environment, and as long as we individuals all stop our environment-unfriendly actions, a strong power will be formed for us to prevent the deterioration of the environment) . As we can see today, many policies of environment protection are advocated and the sense of protecting our environment are（is) being imparted to individuals. For examples, in order to decelerate the declining of our water resource, various kinds of water saving methods are applied for household and industry. What’s more, self-conscious individuals are pay(paying) more and more attention to the energy saving in order to reduce the usage of fossil fuels and prevent the trend of global warming. And lots of organizations of individuals are trying their best to spread the advocacy of environment protection. Therefore in front of the environment problems individuals are really capable of doing something.(喜欢你这里的例子)

Last but not least, with the roaring development of the scientific technology, many environmental problems which used to be complex are now within the ability of humanbeings. (这个视角不错） And since individual understand the cause of some environmental problems, those problems are no longer complex as they used to be for individuals. For instance, in the past, we have no idea that the ozone layer were becoming thinner and thinner, even until the hole appeared, we still felt that we could do nothing to stop it. Nowadays with the advancement of the science, we know what causes the problems and by advocating that freon should no longer be used, we can stop this trend.

To sum up, although sometimes environmental problems are really too complex to solve, we can still try our every of effort to fight against them. And with the development of the science, we can deal with more and more environmental problems which used to be impossible mission for us.（结尾总结得很好）

感觉没有你之前的文章读起来那么舒服，可能是用了太多复杂的长句了。不过例子和角度选的不错。还有个就是关于这个题目的理解问题，你的理解似乎是“环境问题太复杂了以至于人类无法解决”。我在看题得时候也对着individual琢磨了半天，最后理解为个人在面对环境问题时很无力。我不知道正确的理解是什么，欢迎讨论。

人往往需要绕一个圈子才能找到原来前进的方向

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