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[求助] 求助：关于作文首段的逻辑问题 [复制链接]

jjooyy
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-8-13 17:23:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

因为被批改的同学指出作文的开头逻辑有问题，而这样的开头又是我惯用的，所以发帖询问，我下面的文章的开头逻辑有问题吗，大家读得懂吗？那结尾会不会也有问题？
特附上原文参考。。
谢谢每位回贴的同学o(∩_∩)o

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.

Although domestic films and TV series can convey interesting stories and jokes that foreigners cannot understand, mostly, films from other countries are funnier.

There is no denying that movies made by one's own country can be more understandable, therefore more interesting in some aspects. Films and programs are the products of culture, art and literature. With a full knowledge of one's own country, he or she can enjoy the implement to some related events easily; while a foreigner may not get a clue of it. For instance, the film a world without thieves is of great interest for Chinese, because of a certain amount of jokes than only can be understood in Chinese. However, most people from other countries who watch the movie in English find little fun of it.

Nevertheless, foreign films and TV programs can be much more interesting than others for their superior performance in comedy. It is comedies that can communicate with people all over the world without languages. With facial gesture, viewers know what characters feel; with actions, spectators learn how the plot goes on. Through the combination of them, one can burst into laughter regardless of the obstacle of languages. This is why silence movies, especially comedies, are still classical, and Charlie Chaplin is a distinguished actor that few can surpass him nowadays.

In addition, the advanced plot techniques also enforce movies and TV programs from other countries to be more excellent than domestic ones. While the topics of movies and TV series in my country are always about the traditional contradictions among families, friends and colleges, foreign movies are more willing to dabble to some controversial areas, such as clone, homosexuality and space exploration. The Big Bang Theory, one of my favorite TV series is a perfect illustration. I am so impressed by the jokes in physics made by scientists in the program that I not only acquire knowledge of physics, but also entertain myself by recalling them.

To conclude, foreign movies are more interesting for their plots and performance, while domestic ones sometimes amuse one because of the cultural jokes that is understandable for the native.

逻辑, 求助, 作文

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jjooyy
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沙发

发表于 2010-8-13 18:35:31 |只看该作者

自己顶~

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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psv1210
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板凳

发表于 2010-8-13 19:34:16 |只看该作者

逻辑没问题，个人觉得只是有点头重脚轻

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a08805436
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地板

发表于 2010-8-13 21:05:44 |只看该作者

本地>外地的反面不一定是外地>本地
你可以直接说本地=外地这就表达了你的反面观点

逆水深寒觅枭雄

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jjooyy
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5楼

发表于 2010-8-13 22:09:48 |只看该作者

4# a08805436

我想表达正（本国>外国） + 反（本国<外国）两个观点的综合在开头
一定要包括本国>外国本国=外国两种观点吗？

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hzd515976083
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6楼

发表于 2010-8-13 23:12:14 |只看该作者

1# jjooyy
Although domestic films and TV series can convey interesting stories and jokes that foreigners cannot understand, mostly, films from other countries are funnier.

我觉得之所以有人说楼主的逻辑不行主要因为主从句主语不一，一些读者可能会转不过来，不知这样改写会不会好一点
Although stories and jokes from domestic films and TV series are more understandable to native audience, they, taken the world over, are basically not so funny as those from foreign films and TV series.