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gtldds
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电梯直达

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楼主

发表于 2012-2-20 15:29:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 gtldds 于 2012-2-22 23:05 编辑

希望和大家一起进步吧~我会认真写作文和修改作文的，虽然水平有限，但我会尽力的！

有什么问题可以在qq上敲我，这样会方便一些，我在群里：3.18gtldds

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gtldds
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沙发

发表于 2012-2-20 15:32:59 |只看该作者

2月20 Parents should allow their children to take mistakes and let them learn their mistakes.

In today’s fast-paced, driven society, our culture has little tolerance for failures that have made mistakes. So many parents do not allow their children to take mistakes since they are young. I could not disagree more with this idea. Even though it is perfect for children to finish their work without any mistakes; indeed, it is what they learn from their mistakes that makes their way to success. As far as I am concerned, parents should accept their children’s mistakes and let them learn from their mistakes.

First, for children, accepting their mistakes will benefit their psychological health. According to a recently research performed by a Chinese educator, children will be cowardly if their parents require them to do everything flawless. And if some parents use a rude way, such as blame and hit, they will be more likely to have Anxiety disorder, which is the illness makes patience feel out of breath, feel hot, become blush and other symptoms when they are anxious. Yet, the children who are allowed to make mistakes are not afraid of failure, so they have the courage to try different things and never mind the result. As a result, they will be more creative and courageous. Clearly, it is indisputable which attitude should be used towards children’s mistake.

Also, children can gain uniquely significant knowledge from their mistakes. It is said that “Failure teaches success.” Only if children learn why they made the mistake and how to correct it, do they gain precious knowledge about how to face the problem and how to avoid the mistake reappear. Writing an essay in English used to be a seemingly insurmountable difficulty for me. My parents allowed my mistake so I wrote essay and then asked them to help me figure out the mistakes. And by learning why I make the mistake and how to revise them, English essay is not the obstacle for me. All this implies that, children will gain a better understanding by learning their mistakes.

Finally, parents allow their children to make mistakes and help them to learn from their mistakes strengthen the family relationship. It is universally acknowledge that teenagers do not want to communicate with their parents because they feel parents can not understand them. If parents can help their children analyze their mistakes and give them valuable advice, children will be glad to talk about their troubles and mistakes they take at school with their parents. And in this way, parents can acquaint themselves with the children’s daily life so they can lead their children to a better way. In other words, it is though this way that we can improve the communication between children and parents.

In summary, children can obtain unique knowledge and psychological healthy and happy family if their parents can allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn their mistakes.

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板凳

发表于 2012-2-21 13:08:11 |只看该作者

亲爱的LZ 我今天晚上才有时间改作文希望你不要介意~~:)

开心就好

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地板

发表于 2012-2-21 19:16:17 |只看该作者

2.20 已改完

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5楼

发表于 2012-2-21 22:57:52 |只看该作者

:lol已改完迟了不好意思

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6楼

发表于 2012-2-21 23:47:36 |只看该作者

看了你们给我的批改感觉非常细致，今天晚上再研究一下改一改= =你们的批改让我深深觉得自己给你们改的不太好，我会努力的！
那篇作文是我独立写作第二篇，而且我不太擅长写文章，真的写了很久，研究了一些范文弄得，你们的评语让我很受鼓舞~让我对作文有了信心~哈哈~
真的谢谢你们~:loveliness:

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7楼

发表于 2012-2-21 23:49:09 |只看该作者

2月21日 To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hour that a children spend a time on TV

Televisions now became a common part in our life. To make children do well at school, many parents limit the hours that a children spend on TV. Although watching TV has negative influence on some children’s learning, generally it has many benefits of children’s development. In fact, watching TV enable children gain unique knowledge, communicate better with their friends, and be relaxed in their spare time.

Children will gain considerable unique knowledge when they watch a good TV program. In this age of information, it is not enough to learn only in the classes. And television is a good way for children to obtain supplementary knowledge from various scientific programs, which can provide them professional information in an amusing way. They can also learn critical thinking by watching social program, which talked about current news. Many parents may complain that, their children just like to watch some boring TV series, which about the people’s daily life. In fact, some soap operas are close to children’s life, and children may learn how to deal with the different troubles that they come across every day. In other words, if children have finished their homework, parents shouldn’t limit the children’s hour to learning different knowledge from TV programs.

Watching TV can help children to strengthen the communication with others. For most children, they would like to talk about new TV series, their favorite actors or some current news after the class. If the children know little about these things, it is difficult for them to get in the peers. Thus, the TV shows enable children to communicate better with others.

Watching TV also make children relaxed. Children now are under too much pressure from their teachers and their parents. And they need to work hard get good grades. It is universally acknowledged that, this kind of life is harmful to children’s psychological health. Clearly, watching TV becomes a best way for children to relax themselves. For me, when I feel languid with my intricate homework, I would like to watch entertainment program without any thinking. After watching these programs, I feel better to deal with the notoriously difficult problems in my home work. All this implies that, TV contributes a lot to help children to release themselves from stress.

In short, parents should not limit the hour that a children spend on TV. Just let their child to be a self- regulation person. And TV shows teaches them valuable knowledge, helps themcommunicate better with their friends, and makes them relaxed in their spare time.

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8楼

发表于 2012-2-22 22:49:13 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 gtldds 于 2012-2-22 23:07 编辑

可能有的语言表达不太好，好多想说的表达不出来。另外首段好像写的不太好，希望指导一下。每次写首段都很纠结。

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9楼

发表于 2012-2-23 00:01:07 |只看该作者

Televisions now became a common(可以考虑用 indispensable) part in our life. In order toTo make children do well at school(make a good academic performance), many parents limit the hours that a children spend on TV. Although watching TV has negative influence on some children’s learning, generally it has many benefits of children’s development. In fact, watching TV enable children gain unique knowledge, communicate better with their friends, and be relaxed in their spare time.
+ d2 K3 j" I1 A) F
可以考虑用开篇词，比如first of all Children will gain considerable unique knowledge when they watch(watching) a good TV program. In this age of information, it is not enough to learn only in the classes. And television is a good way for children to obtain supplementary knowledge from various scientific programs, which can provide them professional information in an amusing way. Moreover, They can also learn critical thinking by watching social program, which talked about current news(discussing about current events). Many parents may complain that, their children just like to watch some boring TV series, which about the people’s daily life. In fact, some soap operas are close to children’s life, and children

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10楼

发表于 2012-2-23 00:39:10 |只看该作者

已改~

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希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力，才是我们青春存在的意义。

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11楼

发表于 2012-2-23 08:43:40 |只看该作者

为啥我昨天改的在这里显示出了问题我改22号的好了

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12楼

发表于 2012-2-23 09:01:15 |只看该作者

已经改咯~

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13楼

发表于 2012-2-23 15:24:32 |只看该作者

楼主的文章思路非常清晰，例子使用也很恰当，值得学习！
需要注意一些小的错误，比如词的时态、词性等。

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尼采说：人所遭遇皆为所愿。

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14楼

发表于 2012-2-23 15:26:57 |只看该作者

已改~~

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开心就好

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15楼

发表于 2012-2-24 13:06:47 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 gtldds 于 2012-2-24 21:08 编辑

写完啦~

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