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[i习作temp] ISSUE 41 个人的成就就由当代人肯定，眼泪哗哗的~超时太严重了！顺求7G互改伙伴 [复制链接]

zhj0735
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2012-5-20 18:23:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ISSUE 41 The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

We lived in a society that treasures the contribution and cherish their revolutionary changes brought to us. When we talked about the greatness of an individual, there are isolated definition for various fields, in this way, the preposition of the statement that contemporaries’ judgment would determine the contribution of an individual was also contingent according to different applicable condition. Artists or poets might gain their reputation even years after the death, while the scientific innovation which could presage the viable technique in the long run was hard to possess their accord for the applicability.

Granted, the development of a certain concept or entity would go through the supervision and examination by the contemporary pundit, whether it was a proposal of a legal edict or protocol for an academic forum. The governor or the masters have the right to organize all the social activities to ensure the orders of city. There was an instance that in 1978, when Marshal Xiaoping Deng of China firstly mentioned about the Opening Policy and Socialistic marketing executed in China, there was suspicion among the politicians, though it then was fully speculated and implemented the revolutionary Plan. Despite the minor question, the Policy was proved successful to lead the nation into well-being and prosperous country. The judgment in time was to pose problem and tried to find a liable solution for those well-oriented proposals. Their agreement on the plan itself and its merit would precipitate their improvement.

However, there were historical evidence that some of the most distinguished scholars or artists attained their fame from those who live after them. Van Gogh lived a pessimistic life through his live in that his abstracted painting was hard to be accepted though most masterpiece now was costless in the top ranked auction. Probably striking the basic underline of then current sense of beauty, his paintings was thinked of extensive and gross differed from others. The disparity between two periods was the side evidence of changing notion of art.

In terms of academic appraisal system, a more sophisticated criterion was in use. Hiliocentric Theory proposed by Galileo was in the first stage confronted violent rebuttal, since the basic religion belief was called into question in which the cosmos was designed by absolute control of Gods and pantheon. The misfortune followed one another to Galileo, whose rest of life was miserable. Nevertheless the authentic truth was impregnable, the later scientific effort proved the hypothesis and its deduction. The Communism put forward by Karl Marx also went through severe scrutiny at the inception period, though later on most country assigned it as their national policy and shared a wide popularity among the Third World Countries.

From above elaborated analysis, the accordance or veto by current peer reviews would in some extant advise for amelioration or perfection according to epochal sense of value or religious bracing system.
However, the potential of a hypothesis or scientific should not depend on arbitrary determination in modern times which confined by pragmatism. Under this circumstance, the argument was partly unilateral when taking different realms such as academic and politic contribution into consideration.

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277409694
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沙发

发表于 2012-5-21 22:16:46 |只看该作者

这篇有难度。。。

http://www.zonsenstone.com

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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zhj0735
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板凳

发表于 2012-5-22 08:41:38 |只看该作者

主要要具很多例子才能佐证~ 2# 277409694

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一路走来
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地板

发表于 2012-5-22 11:39:16 |只看该作者

佩服楼主，里面好多GRE词汇，句子长长的。
古语说：盖棺而论，不知道西方有什么对应的谚语

paper，英语，帝国

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一路走来
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5楼

发表于 2012-5-22 11:42:58 |只看该作者

into well-being and prosperous country. 里面有一个小错误，是不是应该加个 a 冠词？:)

paper，英语，帝国

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zhj0735
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6楼

发表于 2012-5-22 12:05:33 |只看该作者

冠词是我的痛心疾首的地方~~每篇都有错误！ 5# 一路走来

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erencie
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7楼

发表于 2012-5-30 11:45:03 |只看该作者

Honestly speaking, I find that you are using abstruse vocabulary just for the sake of using it. I find it hard to understand certain sentences in your essay. I personally would recommend you use simpler words to convey sophisticated meanings, instead of using sophisticated words to explain simple meanings. Some sentences are very convoluted and are not structured in the correct way, which actually obscure the meaning you're trying to express.

For example, the following sentences:
We lived in a society that treasures the contribution and cherish their revolutionary changes brought to us.
(not grammatically correct; and the background does not serve useful purpose to the introduction)

Artists or poets might gain their reputation even years after the death, while the scientific innovation which could presage the viable technique in the long run was hard to possess their accord for the applicability.
--> (I changed it to )Artists or poets might gain their reputation years after their death; and scientists who predicted the principles influential to future technology are facing objections from comtemporary society.

Probably striking the basic underline of then current sense of beauty, his paintings was thinked of extensive and gross differed from others.
(--> Don't quite get the meaning)

From above elaborated analysis, the accordance or veto by current peer reviews would in some extant advise for amelioration or perfection according to epochal sense of value or religious bracing system.
(--> It's strange to see the word 'veto' used here as from my impression I normally see it in a court debate or some formal venues)

Just my personal opinions. Don't feel offended~

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8楼

发表于 2012-6-1 12:36:32 |只看该作者

I really appreciate your advice! Thank you very much.:loveliness:
I found it reasonable since most of the expression were not so fluent that the subtle meaning of argument would be not conveyed correctly.
Maybe the expression was the one that I should pay more attension on.
Thank very much!

7# erencie

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Jibin1987
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9楼

发表于 2012-6-1 13:09:43 |只看该作者

第一句就没看懂，同意7楼的建议。
很多句子为什么要用过去式？例如第一句
里面有很多单复数上的错误
例如
there are isolated definition（s） for various fields,
according to different applicable condition (s).
这文章让我很没有读下去的欲望。
很多高级词汇用之前确定一下具体用法吧，用的都很牵强。

Again, Just my personal opinions. Don't feel offended~

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