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wisle
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-6-18 01:17:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 541
TIME: 00:59:46
DATE: 2009-6-18 上午 01:05:44

明天考英语，今晚写篇Argument预热下，也算完成小组作业
尴尬的是现在太晚啦

！
赶快睡觉去……

==========================================================
The arguer claims that increasing the profits via to discontinue stocking a parade of various imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheese instead, on the basic of the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheeses and a result from a recent survey - an increasing preference for domestic ones. The assertion is seemingly well-reasoned, while indeed needs more information to sustain.

The First suspicion arose from that five best-selling cheeses at the newest store are all domestic. At first, there is no information indicates where the newest store locates. Different place it locates will inevitably induce the different sale condition. Since different people in different place may have various custom, which may directly lead a different sale. Except for the custom, a district's preference will also contribute to the result. There is little dispute that good taste is a subjective criteria so it may be different from an area to another. Then, we can not neglect the price. That will become a key factor at some degrees. Perhaps, the five best-selling domestic cheeses are cheaper compared with imported cheeses. And people living in the place where the newest store locates just purchase the cheeses depending on the price, rather than any other reasons.

Then our focus move from the analysis of the five best-selling cheeses in the newest store to the recent survey. The major suspicion stems from the readers of the World magazine who consist the population of this survey. Firstly, we don't know the level of the readers. As we know that people in different level have different consumption custom and preference. Moreover, the places where these readers, who join this survey, are from are uncertain. As we have analyzed in the former paragraph, the survey place and area is an essential factor in the survey, so there is useless to cite these uncertain information to bolster the assertion. Even the readers are from various places and almost all levels. The size of population is still unknown which may directly influence the reliance degree of the population. Of course, the larger, the more scientific and reliable the survey is.

Additionally, even we admit the above analysis made by arguer, and then another question comes out from the result of this survey. It says that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. But an increasing preference can not sustain that the consumption of domestic cheeses is much more than that of the imported cheeses. Maybe now imported cheeses is the king of the cheese consumption market rather than the domestic one, even though domestic one has a promising increasing in the cheese consumption market share. So that we can not conduce that the profits will rise up, if we increase the storing amount of domestic cheeses.

In sum, the assertion is weakened by the vague information, and the more details are needed to buttress the assertion. For strengthening the assertion, the arguer is supposed to illustrate the place where the newest store locates, the consumption custom and preference in these survey places, the level of the readers who join this survey, and the actual sale number of these two kinds cheese - domestic one and imported one. Then we can conduce a more rational assertion.

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ARGUMENT65

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沙发

发表于 2009-7-6 15:11:33 |只看该作者

本帖最后由尾羽于 2009-7-7 11:34 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 541
TIME: 00:59:46
DATE: 2009-6-18 上午 01:05:44

The arguer claims that increasing the profits via to discontinue stocking a parade of (这个词在这里什么意思？也许是个不错的用法！我只知道游行、列队的意思) various imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheese instead, on the basic of the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheeses and a result from a recent survey - an increasing preference for domestic ones. The assertion is seemingly well-reasoned, while indeed needs more information to sustain.

The First suspicion arose from that five best-selling cheeses at the newest store are all domestic. At first, there is no information indicates where the newest store locates. Different place (places) it (用the store比较好吧~不然，可能会不清楚这个it指谁) locates will inevitably induce the different sale condition (conditions). Since different people in different place (places) may have various custom, which may directly lead (to) a different sale. Except for the custom, a district's preference will also contribute to the result. There is little dispute that good taste is a subjective criteria so it may be different from an area to another. Then, we can not neglect the price. That will become a key factor at some degrees. Perhaps, the five best-selling domestic cheeses are cheaper compared with imported cheeses. And people living in the place where the newest store locates just purchase the cheeses depending on the price, rather than any other reasons.(这里最好能加一句小总结的话)(这段的第二、三句，出现different XXX的频率略高了些~建议调整一下)

Then our focus move (moves) from the analysis of the five best-selling cheeses in the newest store to the recent survey. The major suspicion stems from the readers of the World magazine who consist the population of this survey. Firstly, we don't know the level of the readers
（这里有点突兀，读者的什么水平？学术水平？生活水平？还是消费能力水平？我觉得最好写明白。后面的“in different level”也一样）. As we know that people in different level have different consumption custom(s) and preference(s). Moreover, the places where these readers, who join this survey, are from are uncertain. As we have analyzed in the former paragraph, the survey place and (or) area is an essential factor in the survey, so there (it) is useless to cite these uncertain information to bolster the assertion. Even the readers are from various places and almost all levels. The size of population is still unknown which may directly influence the reliance degree of the population. (字面意思：“抽样人数仍然未知，这可能会直接影响到样本的可靠程度”应该是会直接影响到调查的可信程度吧？) Of course, the larger, the more scientific and reliable the survey is. (这句话的字面意思是：“当然，调查是范围更大，更科学和更可信的。”这句话是不是没写完？)

Additionally, even we admit the above analysis made by arguer, and then another question comes out from the result of this survey. It says that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. But an increasing preference can not sustain that the consumption of domestic cheeses is much more than that of the imported cheeses. Maybe now imported cheeses is the king of the cheese consumption market rather than the domestic one, even though domestic one has a promising increasing in the cheese consumption market share. So that we can not conduce that the profits will rise up, if we increase the storing amount of domestic cheeses.

In sum, the assertion is weakened by the vague information, and the(删掉) more details are needed to buttress the assertion. For strengthening the assertion, the arguer is supposed to illustrate the place where the newest store locates, the consumption custom and preference in these survey places, the level of the readers who join this survey, and the actual sale number (amount) of these two kinds cheese - domestic one and imported one. Then we can conduce a more rational assertion.

红色是我的修改和建议；绿色是好词好句好表达

现阶段，在一小时内写成这样，我是相当羡慕的~
思路很清楚~有好些地方值得我学习！
个别地方有些小毛病，我想大多也是时间限制所导致的。

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Mason.PD
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板凳

发表于 2009-7-10 13:12:21 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 Mason.PD 于 2009-7-10 13:19 编辑

The arguer claims that increasing the profits via to discontinue stocking a parade of various imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheese instead, on the basic of the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheeses and a result from a recent survey - an increasing preference for domestic ones. The assertion is seemingly well-reasoned, while indeed needs more information to sustain.

The First suspicion arose from that five best-selling cheeses at the newest store are all domestic. At first, there is no information indicates where the newest store locates. Different place it locates will inevitably induce the different sale condition. Since different people in different place may have various custom, which may directly lead a different sale. Except for the custom, a district's preference will also contribute to the result. There is little dispute(这个句子是什么意思) that good taste is a subjective criteria so it may be different from an area to another. Then（换个词用also吧）, we can not neglect the price. That will become a key factor at some degrees. Perhaps, the five best-selling domestic cheeses are cheaper compared with imported cheeses. And people living in the place where the newest store locates just purchase the cheeses depending on the price, rather than any other reasons.

Then our focus move from the analysis of the five best-selling cheeses in the newest store to the recent survey. The major suspicion stems from the readers of the World magazine who consist the population of this survey. Firstly, we don't know the level of the readers. As we know that people in different level have different consumption custom and preference. Moreover, the places where these readers, who join this survey, are from are uncertain. As we have analyzed in the former paragraph, the survey place and area is an essential factor in the survey, so there is useless to cite these uncertain information to bolster the assertion. Even the readers are from various places and almost all levels. The size of population is still unknown which may directly influence the reliance degree of the population. Of course, the larger, the more scientific and reliable the survey is.

Additionally, even we admit the above analysis made by arguer, and then another question comes out from the result of this survey. It says that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. But an increasing preference can not sustain that the consumption of domestic cheeses is much more than that of the imported cheeses. Maybe now imported cheeses is the king of the cheese consumption market rather than the domestic one, even though domestic one has a promising increasing in the cheese consumption market share. So that we can not conduce that the profits will rise up, if we increase the storing amount of domestic cheeses.

In sum, the assertion is weakened by the vague information, and the more details are needed to buttress the assertion. For strengthening the assertion, the arguer is supposed to illustrate the place where the newest store locates, the consumption custom and preference in these survey places, the level of the readers who join this survey, and the actual sale number of these two kinds cheese - domestic one and imported one. Then we can conduce a more rational assertion.

咳咳改的很粗略用空我再过下第二遍我说下我的想法
个人觉得文章应该批驳的主旨应该在于国产奶酪比进口奶酪能增加利润上
所以我觉得第三个论据应该是说这个。。

See U in pittsburgh!

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