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[作文] 【独立写作】Darren的作业贴 [复制链接]

Darren_Van
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31楼

发表于 2012-11-1 09:56:02 |只看该作者

原味切片发表于 2012-10-31 23:13
1026 不好意思改晚了哥们儿你水平太高了

As the future masters of our world, young people are able and responsible to shoulder the duty to build a more harmonious and more wonderful society.
(1)As+n. (2)shoulder the duty to... are two fixed sentence patterns. The rest part is my own thought. But I do think it is correct and suitable. :)

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发表于 2012-11-1 13:00:04 |只看该作者

many thx!

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发表于 2012-11-1 13:13:52 |只看该作者

Darren_Van 发表于 2012-11-1 09:56
As the future masters of our world, young people are able and responsible to shoulder the duty to ...

追问一句：你文章里 I am hardly to agree with it, 这个表述正确吗

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elisawuliang UID：2224236 elisawuliang 当前离线最后登录 2017-12-25 在线时间 362 小时寄托币 606 声望 36 注册时间 2006-6-24 阅读权限 5 帖子 212 精华 0 积分 774 UID 2224236 禁止发言声望 36 寄托币 606 注册时间 2006-6-24 精华 0 帖子 212 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	34楼发表于 2012-11-1 17:01:58 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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35楼

发表于 2012-11-1 19:46:27 |只看该作者

elisawuliang 发表于 2012-11-1 17:01
是的，我用tpo做的。我可以天天做，你想两天一做也可以啊。

行啊·····留个QQ吧，402285181，明天做哪篇？我以前做过做到15了，我打算先做16~22，最后两套考前练~

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发表于 2012-11-1 19:48:46 |只看该作者

原味切片发表于 2012-11-1 13:13
追问一句：你文章里 I am hardly to agree with it, 这个表述正确吗

语法上没错的~但是····我不知道美国人会不会这么用···呵呵········:L

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发表于 2012-11-1 21:39:57 |只看该作者

Darren_Van 发表于 2012-11-1 19:48
语法上没错的~但是····我不知道美国人会不会这么用···呵呵········

好谢谢

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40楼

发表于 2012-11-2 16:57:24 |只看该作者

写的很棒，不过可能你写的太早了，版主后来把题目改了下

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41楼

发表于 2012-11-3 16:03:31 |只看该作者

已改

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43楼

发表于 2012-11-5 06:27:03 |只看该作者

10.28 People who move out of native village or town are more successful and happier than people who stay in their native village or town. Agree or not?

In this day and age, frequent communication and convenient transportation make it possible to seek for a job and inhabit in a strange (A 'stranger' is someone you are not familiar with, yes, but 'strange' doesn't mean 'unknown/unfamiliar'.) city. Some people hold the opinion that people who immigrate from their hometown to another city, maybe a richer and more developed one, are much more successful and satisfied than those who stay in their native place all their lives.  Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, this statement is not strictly true.
   Admittedly, in some cases, moving to another wealthier city can be the symbol of success. The Majority of us regard the career as the cornerstone of life. It is true that an advanced city will offer us with more valued opportunities. In this term, if we leave our home and get an ideal job which ensures high quality of life in other places, we will be able to enjoy a happier life. However, we ought to put the phenonmenon in perspective and realize the fact that happiness is not such a simple thing. Immigration cannot be equal to a life with more pleasure.
To begin with, people who are far away from their relatives always suffering from homesickness ('always' is a tad too strong, but I won't argue this ^O^). As for many people, family is a main driving force behind their careers. The example of many current Chinese youngsters currently matches my view perfectly. Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou are the three most developed three cities in China. All of them attract millions of young employees all over the country, who desire to find their niche in bigger stages. As a result of this trend, problems have occurred that the young miss their parents seriously since most of them merely have no one to confide with ('merely' means 'only' in a 'barely, just enough' sort of way. And 'only' doesn't go with negatives: you say 'I only have milk' and 'I have no milk', but not 'I only have no milk', yes?) when faced with pressure. When it comes to their feelings, the answer is that they are no longer as happy as in the past.(Good example.)
In addition, without assistances from the family and familiar environment (I don't quite get why you have to single out 'the family', since the family can be considered to constitute a 'familiar environment'.), people may be confronted with a series of challenges and inconveniences. In the hometown, people can turn to their friends, classmates, or even their parents' friends for help. Thanks to the network, almost everything may be tackled at the end. In contrast, those people who leave the home have to get into the swing of the things. It means no matter how complicated the issues are, they must depend themselves.('get into the swing of things' just means one has to get used to the rhythm and pace of others, usually in a work environment. It doesn't imply anything about having to figure out things on oneself. It doesn't imply that one has to do things without any help.)
Taking all these factors into account, it is apparent that people who leave their hometown and work or live in another village or town are not always happier than their friends at home. Different people cherish different things, so there is no fixed standard to evaluate how happy a person is.(You didn't discuss this point in the body of the essay. Randomly mentioning things in the conclusion is not really going to add much flair to your work.) What we need to do, is following our dreams and living whatever kinds of lifestyle we want.

总结：

第一个论点很好，第二个就虎头蛇尾了，请注意时间分配。另外请注意词用 – 有不少地方我知道你想说什么但是表达出来的效果是词不达意。

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