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[经验思考] GRE作文6分教学博客   [复制链接]

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

241
发表于 2015-4-3 22:25:50 |只看该作者

Argument 4 Choose real estate company 示范

4) The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.   

According to the author of the letter, his friend should try to sell the home through Adams because the company has more full-time agents, sold more homes at higher average prices and had a record of selling homes faster.  A number of assumptions had been made in the argument and we need to examine them critically to devide if the recommendation is reasonable.

To begin with, it is assumed that a real estate company with more full-time agents would always sell a home faster and better.  It is true that with more staff members working full time, Adams will have more human resources available to sell different homes. But it is important to note that they also generate more revenue which means they will need to sell more homes. Therefore, the human efforts devoted to each home for sale are not necessarily greater in Adams. It is also assumed that full-time agents are always better in selling homes than part-time agents.  But it is possible that selling a particular home requires the networking with a particular groups of customers that only part-time agents with more time to spend with other people may have.  In cases like this, using Fitch may even be more desirable.

It is further assumed that an agency that sell more homes at a higher average price can do the job better.  For one thing, comparing average price of the homes sold could be a bit misleading as the company could have sold one home at a extremely high price that boost the average price while in reality most homes sold by the company were at a lower price.  Meanwhile, it is also possible that the friend’s home is at a relatively low price which Adams’s agents are not very good at selling.  It is more reasonable to look at the individual homes that Adams and Fitch had sold in the past to decide if the agents in either company would have the expertise or experience to seel the firend’s home.

The author claimed that Adams sold homes faster than Fitch based on just two transactions that these two companies helped him with.  It is unreasonable to assume that these two transactions that were ten years apart could accurately reflect the selling speed of each company.  It is safer to assume that the time required to sell homes vary greatly across different types of homes, different prices and the individual agents that were responsible for the deals. Even assuming that factors such as demand and demographics remain unchanged in ten years, the fact that Adams sold one home faster than Fitch sold another home may simply suggest that the particular agent in Adams did a better job than the particular agent in Fitch. It remains unknown if Adams would do a better or faster job than Fitch in selling the friend’s home.  

Overall speaking, the author needs to present more evidence to support the assumptions that have been explicitly or implicitly made in the argument to convince his friend that Adams should be used. In its present form, the argument is not very strong.





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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-4-4 20:39:52 |只看该作者

Argument 8 build new dorms 示范

The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.”

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.



The director of student housing argues that to meet the increasing housing needs of the students and to attract more students to study at Buckingham, the college should build some new dorms.  To evaluate the argument, we need more evidence about the current and future demand of student dorms, the relative prices of dorm rooms and off-campus housing and the attitudes of prospective students.  

The projection that the number of students will double in 50 years is not very useful for evaluating the argument because the new dorms, as planned, will be available in the next 5 years and to decide whether this is necessary we need data for the next 5 years rather than 50 years.  Specifically, we want to know whether the number of students who need on-campus housing will exceed the number of dorm rooms available then.  A related number we want to know is how many dorm rooms may be unoccupied at present which may tell us more about students’ preference of dorm rooms over off-campus housing.  If the expected demand of dorm rooms exceeds the current supply, maybe we need to build more dorms.  Otherwise, the proposal is not reasonable.  

We also need to know more about the rents of current dorm rooms, new dorm rooms as well as off-campus housing.  The data about the average rent of the apartment in town is not very useful as it includes apartments that may be far away from the campus and therefore not available to Buckingham students.  It would be more useful to look at the average rents of the off-campus apartments that Buckingham students usually chose to live in and see if these apartments will become increasingly expensive in future.  In addition, it would help to compare the rents of the off-campus apartment with the current fees for the dorm rooms as well as the expected costs of new dorm rooms.  If the dorm rooms will be more expensive than the off-campus apartments, it would be pointless to build new dorms to help ease the financial burden of Buckingham students.

A related issue is how the construction project would influence the prospective students’ decisions on whether to study at Buckingham.  We need more information about how important the prospective students consider new dorm rooms are to their decisions to join Buckingham.  Also, we want to know if the new projects may affect the university budget and whether the university may have to charge higher tuition fees as a result.  If the students have to pay more tuition or housing fees to finance the new project, it is unlikely that the project would attract more prospective students.  

In conclusion, to decide whether the proposal is reasonable, we need more evidence about the rents of the off-campus apartments chosen by Buckingham students, the current and future rents of dorms and the attitudes of prospective students.  




student need
- over the next 5 years
- relative prices of dorm rooms and off-campus housing
- occupation rate of current dorm rooms


prospective students preference  

cost of new dorm  

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-4-4 22:34:45 |只看该作者

Argument 9/88/90 示范 predicted success of new franchise of health food

复活节假期 多写两篇 争取博士毕业前把题库全部写完
感觉大部分同学备考GRE还是不肯投入 连认真读完这个博客的功夫都不肯花  
可能真正的教育只属于少数精英吧  


Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.  


The author predicts that the new franchise in Plainsville will be successful based on the fact that the reisdents here have bought many running shoes and exercise clothing, signed up for health club memberships and the requirement for schoolchildren to join a health-related program.  A number of assumptions about these facts have been made and need to be examined critically to decide if the prediction is reasonable.   

It is first assumed that the strong sale of running shoes and exercise garment necessarily means that the residents in the area are living a healthy life.  There are different alternative explanations for the strong sale. For example, there might be an influx of tourists to Painsville who are responsible for buying the running shoes and exercise garments.  In addition, the residents might have bought the shoes and clothing as Christmas gifts for their relatives and friends in other cities.  Even they bought the goods for themselves, they may not have the time and willpower to wear these shoes and clothes to exercise.  Unless more evidence is available to suggest that the residents have actually exercised their bodies with these shoes and clothes, the assumptions made here do not hold.  

The high membership of the health club and the full enrollment of the classes do not necessarily support the claim that the local reisdents live healthy life, either.  It is one thing to pay for the health club memberships.  It is quite another for the residents to actually show up for the health club activities regularly.  The members may be too busy to actually pariticipate in the club despite their payment for membership.  Likewise, residents enrolled in those classes may not show up in all the classes when other commitments such as dating or parenting took away their time and energy.  In addition, we do not know how big the health club and the classes are relative to the population size of Painsville.  If the club and class sizes are relatively small, the membership and enrollment cannot accurately reflect the overall lifestyle of Painsville residents.  

It is further assumed that the children in Painsville, after the mandatory school program, will lead a healthy life and become potential customers for the franchise.  It is not clear how the children and their parents would respond to such a program. Maybe due to its compulsory nature, the children do not enjoy the program and could not internalize the idea of exercising regularly. Also, the program may not last due to the opposition of the parents.  Moreover, even if the children learn to live a healthy life through such a program, they may leave the town for colleges or jobs by the time they reach the age of buying the products from the franchise.  

Lastly, an implicit assumption being made in the argument is that the franchise will succeed in the competition against other similar products and the other substitute services such as sportswear and health care membership. Maybe in Painsville there is already a company selling health products similar to what the franchise has to offer. Also, maybe the Painsville residents do not need the products from the franchise after being active in the health clubs or having their children involved in the health program at schools.  If the franchise could not attract the customers who have already had access to these health-related goods and services, it will not be very successful in Plainsville.  


Overall speaking, it is important to collect more evident to evalaute the assumptions discussed above in order to decide if the predicition about the franchise’s success is reasonable.  
















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发表于 2015-4-5 22:12:35 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2015-4-4 22:34
复活节假期 多写两篇 争取博士毕业前把题库全部写完
感觉大部分同学备考GRE还是不肯投入 连认真读完这个博 ...

老师 看完Argument9有一点小疑问,第一点销售量高并不等同于健康的生活中提出的两个可能性:游人购买和送礼物,会不会有些牵强呢?题目中说all-time highs 但我觉得这两个只是暂时性的增长呀。。。可不可以假设大多数人只是买了不用,需要看citizens使用这些设备的频率之类的呢?(不过这样好像和后面一点的假设条件重复了)谢谢老师!!

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-4-5 22:27:40 |只看该作者
纪晓晴 发表于 2015-4-5 22:12
老师 看完Argument9有一点小疑问,第一点销售量高并不等同于健康的生活中提出的两个可能性:游人购买和送 ...

作为本地人自用的其他可能性游客购买和送礼我觉得挺合理的
买了不用这个点我好像也有提到   

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-4-5 23:19:10 |只看该作者

argument 35 示范


Topic 35: The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

拿到这道题首先要搞清楚前提和结论是什么。这里的结论是在所有的公寓里改装花洒头可以显著提高利润。而前提和证据则包括前三栋公寓改装后没有收到投诉、尚无水表读数以及公司需要每月付水费。这里需要知道利润是由收入和开支决定的,因此可以从这两方面展开讨论。其中开支主要包括水费以及改装的费用,而收入则主要是租金收入。因此需要讨论的问题包括

- 水费是不是真的会节省
- 改装的费用会不会影响利润
- 改装会否赶走现有的和潜在的租客  



In the letter, it is argued that all the showerheads in Sunnyside Towers should be modified to restrict water flow in order to save water and increase profits. While the modification of the showerheads in the three buildings has not led to many complaints, a number of questions about whether water can be saved, the cost of modification and its effects on the leasing business have to be answered to decide if the proposal will lead to the increase of profits.  


To begin with, we need to know if the modification has indeed saved significant amount of water. In the absence of water usage data before and after the adjustment, it is necessary to look into different possible scenarios.  For example, with restricted water flow, the residents may spend more time showering; as a result, the total water usage may not be reduced.  In fact, with more time spent showering, more electricity might be consumed leading to the increase of expense in other area as well.  Also, in response to the modification, residents may choose to bath instead of shower, which would also use more water.  More information about how the residents behave differently is requried to evaluate the proposal.  

Another important question to be addressed is how much it would cost to modify the showerheads.  Obviously it takes money to hire skiled workers to modify the showerheads.  The labor cost for modifying all the showerheads could be quite significant and affect the cash flow and income statement of the company.  If the labor cost exceeds the amount that can be saved through reducing water usage, this proposal would not icnrease the profits significantly, at least not in the short term.  Another hidden cost of modification is the disruption it may cause to the residents who may not be happy with the work.  If the residents are not happy with the disruption, they may choose to live in other apartment complex, leading to the loss of rental revenue of the company.  

In fact, a more pressing issue is whether the current and propsective tenants of the apartment complex will be dissastified with the restricted water flow and vote against the company by their feet.  It is reasonable to believe that there are other apartment complex in town which the tenants can choose and enjoy normal water flow from showerheads.  If the proposed modification lead to significant loss of tenants and rental revenue, the company would be unlikely to increase its profits.  

In conclusion, while it is understandable that the company tries to save money by restricting the water flow, more information has to be gathered to answer the questions discussed above in order to decide if the proposed modification will help the company to make more profits.  



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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-4-6 12:45:21 |只看该作者

eestone 4分经验总结

原帖位置

1. 在没有接受tesolchina的辅导前,你针对GRE作文有哪些问题、困难或困惑?  
一战3分,回过头来看,issue基本偏题,argument基本没有形成框架。连模板都没有,这作文基本算是裸考的。
从作文的pool看来,自己觉得issue的话题非常广泛,有些用中文都不见得写的出来,有些用中文有话说的,英文表达的时候也很难找到合适的词汇。另外题目理解上的偏差很致命,写作的时候经常自己跟自己辩论,钻牛角尖。
另外时间是非常大的考验,30分钟码400个以上的英文单词,反正当时就觉得臣妾做不到啊~~~

2. 你觉得tesolchina的辅导对你的写作哪些方面有重要的改变?这里的辅导包括博客上的讲解、范文以及通过微信群及Quip的互改。
非常感谢王老师在二战的两个月之内的帮助,无论成绩如何,对我都是一个提高,从英文的表达和写作的思路都是这样。
个人觉得其实微信群是一个很好的地方,对思路的讨论反馈很及时,其实如果能坚持每天有半个小时的讨论,思路应该能非常开阔。
Quip的修改功能非常好,方便修改。但是深深觉得光靠王老师一个是改不完滴~~~。
范文我看的不多,开始的时候看了几篇王老师的范文,反正比看ETS的6分感觉容易写,王老师的范文还是比较平易近人滴,没有那么多高bigger词汇,可以学学。

3. 你在考试前一共练习了几篇issue和argument的全文或提纲?有没有计时?字数情况如何?写完后收到tesolchina的什么反馈?有没有修改?
应该issue和argument各十篇左右,计时虽然有,但是超时也时有发生。。。字数基本在400-450之间。应该都及时按照王老师修改意见改了。

4. 你觉得练习最主要的收获是什么?
会相对有自信,以及对时间的把控,知道自己比如10分钟,20分钟,25分钟的时候应该已经写了多少字数

5. 你在考场上运用了哪些写作策略和技巧,尤其是tesolchina强调过的?结合考试题目具体讨论下运用的情况。
分类很好用,比较容易整理思路。
issue题目是不受之前的成果的影响没办法做出contribution,所以issue分了科学,工程和艺术写的。

6. 你觉得备考GRE作文的过程对你的批判性思维及将来的学术写作能力有什么意义? (请实话实说,觉得没有意义也请解释。)
我觉得很有意义,写作从念书来就是短板,无论中英文。当然以后念不念书就再说了。。。

7. 如果让你回到一个月前,你会如何准备GRE作文?你觉得tesolchina的指导有哪些优点和不足之处?  
我觉得如果有更频繁的互改以及提纲的讨论会更有帮助。另外,如果能总结一点更常用的分类方法可能也比较实用。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-4-6 14:29:18 |只看该作者

AW高分经验总结-高分版友告诉我们自己修改自己的文章是很重要的

最近在看一些过往拿到高分的版友的经验帖,发现有不少同学都曾经下功夫改自己写的文章。论坛上有不少同学会参与互改,但是别人给了意见之后就扔到一边然后写下一篇,我觉得这样互改的效果是很有限的。有些同学可能有一种误解,觉得文章写得多或者每篇写到一定的字数就算有进步,其实如果不认真改自己写过的文章,写得再多、再长其实都很难真正有进步。  

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059265-1-1.html
比如这位网友最终拿到5分
我没有参加作文评分小组,写过的作文只修改了拼写和语法错误,以及一些比较明显的错误。不过我让在加拿大的亲戚帮我找了几个native speaker简单的修改了一下,同时每篇作文都重新思考过怎么写更好


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1127698-1-1.html
这位5.5分
由于argu练习时是随机选题,有时候北美范文中没有,我就上寄托找别人的批改。我认为argu的自我批改是非常关键的,但本人没有参与过寄托上的批改活动,所以相互批改时候同样有效我没有发言权。Issue除了北美我没有太多参考别人的文章,就算北美也只是大概齐意思意思,更多的是自我的修改。我认同的观点是:我们的issue语言差一点很正常,想法有了,例子到位了才是关键。


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1510807-1-1.html
这位4分的版友更奇葩,居然在考场上花了很多时间修改
这些内容绝大部分18min内写完了,看起来很Naive(没有思考深度,逻辑也很简单),字数也很少。最后12min主要是认真读文章,干这些事:1、 把文中找到的所有拼写错误、语法错误进行修正,我觉得文采、思想深度、逻辑难度、语言表达上都没有优势了,在细节处搞好可能能够改善rater(电子或者 人)的心情;2、把表达不通顺的、看起来像废话的全部改写,理由同上。这12 min只增加了几十个词(以改为主)。

Argument大概也省了5-10 min干跟前面类似的检查修改工作。


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1631406-1-1.html
这位4.0也有自己修改的经历
(2) 写完后及时记录当篇所写Date+Time+Words,再在Word中自行进行尽可能多的修改。
(4) 重新修改你的作文,有例证不充分、用词不地道的,可模仿范文进行添加删改。完成后在正文前添加本作文改后提纲,以便最后总结复习。


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-702774-1-1.html
这位老G拿4分推荐使用ScoreitNow,核心还是修改!

如果有银子的话,使用scoreitnow, 我考试前2个section都是4分,结果也是4分。大家可以反复修改自己的文章,然后submit看能得多少分。e-rater和人的评分以我的结果看是一致的


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-980023-1-1.html
也是老G4分

贴个完整的作文经验

作文,4分对于我这个文科来说,还是低了一点。更何况我选在4月20日考的机试,花了大概二个多月时间准备。这方面的复习准备可能效率不是特别高,但大家也可以看看。大概60多天里,我把argument的题库看了两遍,issue列了前60的详细提纲,列了所有的题目的基本思路。习作大概argu有60多篇,issue也有60多篇。最后大概两个礼拜我在修改作文,我觉得修改作文提高最快,尤其是看了牛人的作文以后再修改模仿。但是现在看来,我可能的问题存在于盲目追求字数,而忽略了在结构和措词上的提升。我机试的时候,issue应该有700+,argu应该有600+。但最终还是4分。因此大家应该在达到一定字数以后,多磨一磨自己的遣词造句,那个才是更关键的。

红色是我加的


总的来说,我要强调的就是,不能光指望别人给意见,要更多的修改自己文章,包括备考阶段的修改和考场上的修改。当然,我还是欢迎大家把文章拿来给我看。不过建议写之前先看看我的博客里的一些经验、技巧和范文等等。我给了意见之后,请务必自己修改,不修改的,恕不点评下一篇。
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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

249
发表于 2015-4-6 16:44:47 |只看该作者

妄誩 4分总结

3.29考后总结

今天刚考完,VQ还可以,作文部分尽管已努力码字,但Argument还是没收尾,而且估计typo也会不少。但无论结果如何,都不打算二战了。写点感想和体会,供大家参考。

1. 最初准备作文时只是用中文思维,参考着某本5.5思考了一遍提纲,又看了下北美范文(竟然也没看出他们写得有多好)没有考虑instruction也没有考虑观点复杂整合之类,更没有想到遣词造句比较费劲的我还存在写不完的问题,真是够naive的。

2.后来看到六分博客上面关于新G 3+1写作模式的介绍以及instruction的分析,才意识到自己之前的准备都废了。tesolchina的辅导对我影响最大的应该就是在“提出复杂整合的观点”上。因为之前“正反合”正好契合了中式思维,于是习惯性地对每个话题都想了个“骑墙”的思路,于是第一篇写得关于“领导人应该听取民意还是自己判断”的issue被批得体无完肤。

所谓真正的“骑墙”也应该是具体指出什么情况下A成立,什么情况下B成立才行得通,于是这个就涉及下面会提到的分类讨论。说实话,分类讨论在我之前看来是很肤浅的,因为这种思路是水平方向的讨论而不是纵深式的分析。但是似乎老美并不这么看(有几个instruction就是点明让你讨论什么情况下成立或不成立)。况且GRE这种考场作文想在一个点上挖三尺深是很难的(eg你能在“领导人听取民意是符合法理的”这点上论述三段吗?)所以学会“正确地骑墙”是很好的一个策略。

当然,不是每个话题都需要“骑墙”,如果某个立场的例子和论据比较好讲,完全可以“一边倒”——这就引出了王老师提到过由例子确定立场的建议(貌似Manhattan之类的备考资料里也有提到这个idea)——如果想再“复杂深刻”一点,“一边倒”的同时加个合理的qualification或modification就好了


3. 考前1个月总共练习issue和argument的全文各9篇,提纲各5篇以内。写全文时刚开始没有计时,后来计时发现也会超出20多分钟(于是一度很丧气都懒得计时了)。字数一般在430左右,如果事先的提纲由老师看过,全文问题主要在表达方面,比如用些自创的表达(不明觉弱),或者拼写和标点出错。如果提纲自己想的,往往会面临三改以上,问题既有inconsistent stance 也有例子不支持thesis的。光看点评知道自己错在哪里是远远不够的,因为只有提笔重新组织语言才能衡量自己是不是真的知道“怎么错的要怎么改”,这也就是纸上谈兵和实践的差距。

4. 练习(特别是全文练习)最主要的收获大概就是能短时间内组织语言,进行有效表达。虽然目前短时写作出来的东西还是多少有些不忍卒读,但是比起之前推敲个语句、想个例子就浪费10分钟来说已经进步多了。
而且练习对于码字水平的提高也很关键。我估计如果这次考G作文败了,大概typo功不可没。平时没有意识到自己英文打字有多弱,一练才知道打三个单词错两个的毛病有多严重。

5. 这次考试遇到的issue题目是“人的行为是由外界因素决定的”。所幸之前看过讨论帖的提纲,思路上应该没太大问题。

运用的策略如下:

A对抽象概念进行具体化:比如not of one's own making就可以联系到free will之类的,外界因素影响也要具体到诸如家庭教育,社会习俗之类。总之,不能以“空”对“空”,否则越论述越形而上

B从例子想立场:明显题干的立场可举的例子很多(比如家庭对人行为的影响,社会对人行为的影响),所以完全可以一边倒

C分类讨论:在涉及行为的外界影响因素时,我分为成长期的家庭环境影响(具体包括宗教信仰,父母教育方式等)以及进入社会后法律和道德的约束。这么一分类思路就显得清晰而有层次

D思维实验:这种与日常生活息息相关又带点哲学意味的话题确实挺难想名人例子的,不如就运用思维实验自己编例子。比如在讨论家庭环境对人的行为的影响时,我就编了个穆斯林家庭的女孩会怎么为人处世之类。

E论述过程中要紧紧围绕题干的关键词,注意呼应。比如behavior就要反复提及以做到扣题,这也是提醒自己例子不要举偏了,不然很容易扯到外界因素对人态度的影响之类的

Argument抽到了on-the-job accidents,要求写alternative explanation。
除了注意老师提醒的“注意呼应instruction,注意paraphrase,以及注意多用情态动词”外,还有一点血的教训:即便碰到类似的题目也不要得意忘形提笔就写,因为部分高频题目题干是有微调的,这就直接影响到论点。比如本题只要求讨论有哪些其他解释,那么如果你按照类似题目的思路写“采纳这个建议会有哪些后果”就偏了。

6. 关于备考GRE作文的过程对批判性思维及将来的学术写作能力这个问题,我目前只有一些零星的体悟。

关于批判性思维,抛开应试不讲,我对部分题目的切入思路还是存在一些疑惑的。比如许多教育类的话题按照小学、初中、大学来讨论,根据不同教育阶段的性质来判断题干是否成立,这对于有些题目是说得通,另外一些题目就全凭自圆其说了(为什么高中老师的工资可以由学生成绩决定,小学和大学老师就不行?)。不是否认分类讨论的意义,而是意识到现实社会的复杂性决定了寻找一个合理的分类依据真的很难,有时似乎不得不simplify一下。

当然,在学术写作方面我觉得作用还是比较明显的。比如论述例子要紧紧围绕分论点展开,不能光把例子摆出来,还应该进行分析解释。再比如对于抽象概念要进行rephrase和define,这样才能写出pertinent的论述。

7. 如果让我回到一个月前,我一定把5.5扔了,专心跟着王老师和一群G友练习!很多GRE经验贴都没有强调作文批改,互改和自我修改,以及一群小伙伴一起督促学习的意义。如果我能早点意识到这个外力因素的重要性,不自己闭门造车,或许今天在考场上的表现会更从容吧。

另外,老师认真细致的评改确实很难得(我大学英语老师都做不到这样),而且在quip和论坛上根据大家的习作总结的一些问题和经验也非常有帮助(比如如何写argument的经验贴)。不足。。。这个再容我想想。

---------------------------------------------
3.11小结
1.复习进度:
这两天不是很多产(被自己提不上去的速度打击到了)
只写了全文argument20,issue44,issue55
在得到反馈后改进了之前的一些提纲和全文

2.反馈:王老师和Jin都有点评
指出的问题:argument里存在首段概括的问题和下文具体展开不符,前后不一致
                 还是有inconsistent stance的情况,主要是审题没注意
                 grammer和typo错误不少,语言生造的毛病继续得改

3.个人反思:写文速度是心病,上面的计时练习到最后都有超出,问题大概是我经常敲3个词错2个词,而且喜欢抠wording
                 如果不能保证450的标准,那我只能采取压缩段落,力保350争取400的策略了

4.计划:继续看提纲、列提纲、全文计时和全文修改。重点放在一些高频但还没写过的主题和写作类型上。
           针对速度问题,打算努力戒掉雕琢的习惯,放在计时之后修改;同时把原来写过的文敲一遍,看自己的字数上线,以此为基准调整以后文章的篇幅;然后还是敲键盘

5.收获:issue里界定关键概念和对目标或手段进行具体化和同义转换很重要,比如quality of learning, 这样才能让文章论点落到实处;
           argument里面情态动词要多用,paraphrase也要加强;
           看看老师点评其他同学的习作挺有帮助,既可以接触新的话题,也可以避免容易犯的错误;
-----------------------------------------

3.9小结

1 复习进度:
提纲:issue 123, 38, 6
全文:Issue 126       argument 174, 80
issue全文练得还不够多

2反馈:上面的习作基本上王老师都点评过,大部分进行了二改甚至三改,感觉改文确实和写文一样重要
指出的问题:观点不够整合,存在however连接两个相反观点的情况
            例子不支持分论点或者与主旨无关,如用商业的例子论证青年领袖培养
            追求表达的丰富性而忽视了表意明确,有语言生造的毛病

3个人反思:目前最大的问题还是在写文速度上。issue方面思路是有,遣词造句这几天练下来也稍微快了点,但是好像码字速度还是不行?写一篇得1小时,30分钟要达到400字还得练。

4计划:打算继续参考论坛里的练习帖和范文帖整理高频提纲,并进行全文计时练习。同时每天一有空就敲键盘,练练码字速度,减少typo。

5其他:因为实习开始,不确定能否完成预定的提纲和全文数,但坚持每天至少1+1
        看过王老师quip上的中间段写作指导贴和argument示范贴感觉非常有帮助,但自己写的时候可能运用不够熟练,这大概也得熟能生巧。

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 复习进度(黑体为上传到论坛上的,其他的是参考练习贴讨论帖修改的就没传)
提纲:issue 30,31,45 ;Argu 55,78,132
全文:issue 86,149;Argu 7,149

2 反馈:王老师,莲心和殇沫都有给反馈,目前剩issue 30,argument132未改
  主要问题:观点不整合(这个在看完6分博客后改进很多),例子论述没能支持分论点(这个有时因为疏忽会犯)

3 最主要的问题就是速度太慢,issue列提纲为了写出整合的观点往往花费1小时,梳理分论点再搜索例子也得半小时;argument稍好,但是为了呈现最有力的论点,有时会写到一半又想出新的论点取代之前的,所以全文速度还是不达标

4 因时间限制,打算一边参考论坛里的练习帖和范文帖整理高频issue和argument提纲,一边对于没有把握或者有不同想法的话题自己列提纲,争取到3.29前提纲各出30+20。同时配合模考计时练写作,全文至少10+10。非模考日争取提纲2+2;模考日提纲1+1,全文1+1。

5 接下来几天打算根据话题和频次整理出一个要列的提纲的list,然后优先练习还没怎么接触的话题和写作类型(比如历史、艺术、人的行为等)

6 最大的几点启发:观点要复杂而且整合,分类讨论是个好法子
                          1+3模式对于理清思路确实很有帮助,而且也方便考场作文控制篇幅
                          instruction很重要,根据不同写作指引在论述时要有不同策略和重点,比如队友recommendation要考虑consequences, 对于reason和claim的切入点可以使二者是否分别成立以及前者能否推出后者
                          列提纲也需要勤查维基谷歌,能修正一些想当然却站不住脚的观点,也可以有新的灵感
还有一点收获是,有学习小组的互相帮助和激励以及老师的引导,确实比一个人三天打鱼两天晒网没方向的准备有用多了

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250
发表于 2015-4-6 20:38:13 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-12 22:41
issue题库中有一类题型要求指出自己论证可能受到的挑战并作出回应。
    Write a response in which you d ...

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

251
发表于 2015-4-7 09:07:22 |只看该作者

absolutesally 4分经验

原帖

1. 在没有接受tesolchina的辅导前,你针对GRE作文有哪些问题、困难或困惑?  
辅导之前自己胡乱写过几篇,研究过北美范文。看到题目完全没思路,不知道评分标准和破题点,反正基本上除了道听途说的“GRE注重逻辑”就不知道别的了。

2. 你觉得tesolchina的辅导对你的写作哪些方面有重要的改变?这里的辅导包括博客上的讲解、范文以及通过微信群及Quip的互改。
我主要是quip上改的。最重要的就是熟悉了gre写作的思路,还有注意到了inconsistence stance这个问题,因为很多作文指导都会告诉说要写一正一反,几次修改后意识到这个思路的不可行。分类思路很实用,在考场上有用到,便于短时间brainstorm,至少不会看着题目发呆。还有就是逐渐修改中改进了一些段落内部构造方面的问题。就是以前经常凑不够字数就一句话一个意思写几遍。实际上是可以举例,递进,特别说明,说说如果没有它会带来什么结果,总之就是要有论证

3. 你在考试前一共练习了几篇issue和argument的全文或提纲?有没有计时?字数情况如何?写完后收到tesolchina的什么反馈?有没有修改?
准确的数字不好数,有些记得挺零碎的。issue大概不到30篇全文和20个左右的提纲,包括一部分高频一部分非高频。全文基本都是计时写的。字数没思路的时候400多有思路了520-550。
argument练的时间没有issue多,可能写了十篇左右,看了一些网友整理的思路。字数不等,有些难的就400出头,找得多就500。有些计时有些没有,但都没花太长时间。
大都收到了反馈并进行了修改,觉得看反馈最有效,主要是修正了错误思路。

4. 你觉得练习最主要的收获是什么?
一个是反复地计时练习可以让人熟悉节奏,压力也可以逼出思路和字数。另一个是思路只有在反复的练习中才能找到自己的方法,光看是没有用的。最后我觉得写的时候脑子里有时候会有老师的批改意见。。

5. 你在考场上运用了哪些写作策略和技巧,尤其是tesolchina强调过的?结合考试题目具体讨论下运用的情况。
用了分类。考的是不可能不受past achievements影响。分了科学和艺术领域。这题我一开始刚复习的时候写过的,当时写得一团糟。考试时看到这题因为一个月之前的事了不记得原来的提纲…现想了这个分类,自我感觉有话可说,写了大约两屏幕,我觉得没有训练绝对做不到。
argument写得比较差劲,但是脑内还是比对了之前被老师批改的一些argument的意见

6. 你觉得备考GRE作文的过程对你的批判性思维及将来的学术写作能力有什么意义? (请实话实说,觉得没有意义也请解释。)
十分有用。其实现在很多人说GRE随便准备混个320+都能申了,只是个摆设,但是准备这个对长期学习还是确确实实有很大帮助。比如我今天在看弗里德曼的统计学入门教材,里面行文很多思路和argument分析或者verbal的逻辑单题是十分相似的,帮助我更有效地阅读。(我想美本考得更好的原因就是他们相对熟悉这样的思维方式。)
前面说的段内论证结构对写作也是有用的。

7. 如果让你回到一个月前,你会如何准备GRE作文?你觉得tesolchina的指导有哪些优点和不足之处?
每天坚持一到两篇issue和一篇argument。对argument准备还是不足了。从高频从前往后一道道仔细练,同时按老师issue练习贴的分类写提纲。
不足可能就是对每天写的量没有硬性要求?优点上面应该也都说了:可以很快熟悉一种有效的写作思路,提供较为清晰的改进意见,让人能够较短的时间内进步,发展出自己对题目的应对措施

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

252
发表于 2015-4-9 15:30:54 |只看该作者

作文高频-网上谷歌文档

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-5-15 13:58 编辑

经常有同学问高频,昨天某同学发了这个给我,可以关注一下- 链接

昨天考的同学请报一下机经

5月15日更新
排名        Issue 編號        次數        排名        Argument 編號        次數               

1        62        5        1        14        6       

2        1        4        2        1        4       

3        4        4        3        6        4       

4        91        4        4        71        4       

5        108        4        5        132        4       

6        38        3        6        31        3       

7        46        3        7        54        3       

8        82        3        8        78        3       

9        89        3        9        118        3       

10        93        3        10        7        2       

11        94        3        11        15        2       

12        97        3        12        17        2       

13        19        2        13        25        2       

14        33        2        14        28        2       

15        39        2        15        41        2       

16        41        2        16        46        2       

17        55        2        17        69        2       

18        57        2        18        93        2       

19        58        2        19        145        2       

20        65        2        20        149        2       

21        77        2        21        9        1       

22        141        2        22        24        1       

23        147        2        23        32        1       

24        5        1        24        36        1       

25        26        1        25        37        1       

26        28        1        26        39        1       

27        30        1        27        44        1       

28        36        1        28        45        1       

29        43        1        29        48        1       

30        44        1        30        50        1       

31        45        1        31        53        1       

32        49        1        32        59        1       

33        54        1        33        62        1       

34        61        1        34        64        1       

35        68        1        35        65        1       

36        70        1        36        66        1       

37        76        1        37        73        1       

38        81        1        38        74        1       

39        100        1        39        77        1       

40        101        1        40        84        1       

41        105        1        41        85        1       

42        124        1        42        113        1       

43        143        1        43        121        1       

44        2        0        44        123        1       

45        3        0        45        136        1       

46        6        0        46        147        1       

47        7        0        47        152        1       

48        8        0        48        174        1       

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-4-9 22:50:15 |只看该作者

issue 7的思路汉语提纲及全文示范

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-5-31 22:59 编辑

7) Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.  

这道题提出关于政府资助艺术的两个观点,一个认为政府的资助有必要且必要性体现在繁荣艺术及让所有人都能接触艺术,另一个观点是资助会威胁艺术的完整性,也就是说政府的资助可能会导致某些作品因为不符合主流意识形态而被封杀。这道题用分类讨论的策略来写可能不太合适,主要是因为艺术进行细化可能涉及到一些生僻的词汇,会增加难度。

这里可以考虑的一个思路:
首先同意第一个观点 指出政府资助的必要性 这里可以从两方面考虑 一种是非主流的艺术可能没有商业市场需要政府资助 另一方面有些人很穷 无法负担各种门票 需要政府资助提供免费的艺术

第二段讨论第二个观点 也就是政府资助可能会影响艺术的独立性 这里也可以举一些例子 比如 政府可能会选择性的资助那些歌功颂德的艺术作品  
这里讨论的语气要不太肯定 多用might could之类的情态动词 为第三段做铺垫  

第三段提出自己的立场 认为政府应该资助 但是资助的具体分配应该由一个独立的委員會來完成 這樣可以避免上一段所担心的问题

这样写有点像所谓的正-反-合的模板,但是并没有出现前后观点不一致的情况。  

Despite the industrialization of modern society, the arts and related activities are vital part of our daily life which provide important opportunities for entertainment, education and reflection.  While I agree that government funding is necessary for arts to flourish and for ordinary people to enjoy arts, the concern that government funding may compromise the integrity of arts is a valid one.  In my opinion, therefore, it is important for the government to sponsor arts indirectly through an independent committee as an antidote to potential threat of government funding to the integrity of arts.  

As a threshold matter, government funding and sponsorship are essential to the development of arts.  Unlike popular hollywood movies, which are often sponsored by big corporations through embedded advertising, many artworks could not attract a large number of audience who are willing to pay a large amount of money. If the government does not support the artists and their creative works, the public would not have the opportunities to enjoy high quality artworks.  In addition, arts and creative activities related to arts require infrastructure such as art museum and art schools that can offer space and training programs to exhibit the works and cultivate artistic talents.  Without the support from large corporations, the government has to allocate funding to build art museums and run art schools so that the public can access the museum and send more children to art schools at an affordable rate.  With more members of the public interested and trained in arts, artistic works and activities can then flourish.  

On the other hand, it is understandable to worry that the government's funding may threaten the integrity of arts and artists.  It is well known these days that arts are socially constructed artifacts that do not exist in political vacuum.  Any artworks can and must carry political meanings and messages, which may challenge the authority of the ruling elite.  Meanwhile, the government always has the incentives to sponsor arts that may help advance its own political agenda.  For example, in Mao's China, almost all the songs and movies were produced with a theme of revolutionary propaganda under the sponsorship of the Communist Party.  For Chinese artists at the time, there was virtually no freedom or integrity for arts, which has become a tool for legitimizing the Communist regime.  The last thing we want in China or any other countries is a government sponsorship program for arts that would silence the creative and political voices of artists.  

Given the tension between the need of government support on the one hand and the threat of government funding to the integrity of arts on the other, I would argue that the best solution is to create an independent commission that distributes government funding in a politically neutral way.  The commission should be run by a group of artists elected by their peers and receive government money regularly.  But the government would have no power or influence over how the money will be spent to sponsor different arts projects.  Sponsorships will be awarded to projects based on their merits, not their political or ideological stances.  In fact, Hong Kong Arts Development Council, an organization created by the government to sponsor art projects in Hong Kong, has been operated under this model.  As a result, artists in Hong Kong have enjoyed financial support from the government without any threat from the government on their integrity.  

In conclusion, given the profound impact that arts may have on the society, it is, on the one hand, necessary for the government to support artistic works financially; on the other hand, it is tempting for the government to influence the artists and their activities politically through such sponsorship.  To address this paradox, I have proposed a solution that has worked well in certain regions such as Hong Kong.  

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发表于 2015-4-10 20:57:40 |只看该作者
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发表于 2015-4-11 10:24:46 |只看该作者
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