[经验思考] Issue第一段的写法 [复制链接]

The statement linking technology negatively with free thinking plays on recent human experience over the past century. Surely there has been no time in history where the lived lives of people have changed more dramatically. A quick reflection on a typical day reveals how technology has revolutionized the world. Most people commute to work in an automobile that runs on an internal combustion engine. During the workday, chances are high that the employee will interact with a computer that processes information on silicon bridges that are .09 microns wide. Upon leaving home, family members will be reached through wireless networks that utilize satellites orbiting the earth. Each of these common occurrences could have been inconceivable at the turn of the 19th century.

1 The statement linking technology negatively with free thinking plays on recent human experience over the past century.

2 Surely there has been no time in history where the lived lives of people have changed more dramatically.

3 A quick reflection on a typical day reveals how technology has revolutionized the world.

4 Most people commute to work in an automobile that runs on an internal combustion engine.

5 During the workday, chances are high that the employee will interact with a computer that processes information on silicon bridges that are .09 microns wide.  

6 Upon leaving home, family members will be reached through wireless networks that utilize satellites orbiting the earth.

7 Each of these common occurrences could have been inconceivable at the turn of the 19th century.

1 According to the prompt, laws and the legal system cannot solve many social problems in today’s world because it is impossible for the system to change how people feel or think.  

2 While we need to acknowledge the usefulness and importance of the legal system in solving a great many problems for individual members of the society on a daily basis, it is true that the current legal system is less effective when it comes to solving social problems at large scale.

3 Nevertheless, as I will illustrate with my examples, the inefficency of laws mainly results from the complexity of the social problems rather than the reason stated in the prompt.  

The rule of laws has become a core value of modern society as we rely on the laws and the legal system to maintain social order and solve a wide range of social problems. Despite the sophistication of legal institution as we know it, there are a lot of social issues that remain unsolved, e.g. growing income gap and poverty.  Some people argue that laws are not the solutions for such problems because the legal system cannot alter how we feel or think. In my opinion, however, laws are very effective in regulating human behaviors through providing incentives and disincentives and influencing people's attitudes and values indirectly via other insitutions such as education and family.  

The rule of law has become a core value of modern society as we rely on the laws and the legal system to maintain social order and solve a wide range of social problems.

Despite the sophistication of legal institution as we know it, there are a lot of social issues that remain unsolved, e.g. growing income gap and poverty.  

Some people argue that laws are not the solutions for such problems because the legal system cannot alter how we feel or think.

In my opinion, however, laws are very effective in regulating human behaviors through providing incentives and disincentives and influencing people's attitudes and values indirectly via other insitutions such as education and family.  

thuxyz 发表于 2014-7-2 16:37
我觉得楼主没有必要嘲讽OG的这篇范文，其实这是文风的原因。

这篇范文从technology advance的表现起笔， ...

foxy1988 发表于 2014-7-2 16:05
第二个不限时版本好像正面没有提出对claim的观点？

试写了中间段的主题句：

tesolchina 发表于 2014-7-3 08:06
嗯哪 其实我也无意嘲讽  6分的范文肯定有出色的地方 我主要担心两个问题
一是首段举例 这个有点浪费时间 ...

foxy1988 发表于 2014-7-3 01:25
个人感觉楼主说得在理。虽然OG的范文开头确实千奇百怪，但中间论述都是比较严谨的。学术文章的范式严格， ...