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[习作点评] A 17 求点评 [复制链接]

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发表于 2015-3-21 16:45:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
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To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
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发表于 2015-3-21 16:45:30 |只看该作者
The manager suggests that WWAC radio station should change the program from rock music to a news and talk format in order to reverse a decline in listener numbers. This decision seems at first glance to be tenable in that the potential listener increased. However, the argument is unconvincing unless and until the auger can give definite evidence to strengthen the argument.

First, the arguer’s inference that people in this local lose the interest in music result from a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music is untenable given that there are still many measures to enjoy music for people such as download MP3, attend to concert or listen to station. What’s more the continuing decline in local sales of recorded music maybe result from that people cannot afford the recorded music due to the economy decline. In that case, these people will are more likely to turn to radio station to listen music to save money rather than buy recorded music. If WWAC change the program, it will lose these listeners. In a short, the argument is not convincing unless the arguer is able to give tenable evidence to rule out these cases.

Second, the assumption the above agreement rests on that these old people don't like rock music but news may be groundless. Because there is a likehood that these retired people have a myriad of habits including rock music. Under that circumstances the change will not reverse the decline of listener numbers. Besides if those retired people don’t like listen to station, the decision will not be efficient regardless of whatever the type of the program. Therefore the argument will be weaken without evidences to ensure those tired people’s habits.

Third, the population growth that the argument mentioned is not definite. This growth may be large or small. If the growth is small, it is not necessary to change the program for WWAC in that the listener numbers will not increase significantly to reverse the decline of listener numbers even if the all population growth will listen to the WWAC station. Therefore, the argument will be weaken if the arguer cannot give evidences to ensure the growth is large or small.

In a conclusion, to strengthen the argument, the evidences must be given that can confirm the above assumptions such as the real reason to the limited sales of recorded music in the local, the habits of retired people and the amount of population growth.  

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板凳
发表于 2015-3-21 16:45:43 |只看该作者
求大家点评

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地板
发表于 2015-3-21 22:19:43 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 hardheaded 于 2015-3-21 22:22 编辑
xyzcjcz 发表于 2015-3-21 16:45
求大家点评



The manager suggests that WWAC radio station should change the program from rock music to a news and talk format in order to reverse a decline in listener numbers. This decision seems at first glance to be tenable in that the potential listener increased  改成will increase. However, the argument is unconvincing unless and until一个就行 the arger can give definite evidence to strengthen the argument.

First, the arguer’s inference that people in this local lose the interest in music result from a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music is untenable given that there are still many measures to enjoy music for people such as download MP3, attend to concert or listen to station. What’s more the continuing decline in local sales of recorded music maybe result from that people cannot afford the recorded music due to the economy decline. In that case, these people will are more likely to turn to radio station to listen music to save money rather than buy recorded music. If WWAC change the program, it will lose these listeners. In a short, the argument is not convincing unless the arguer is able to give tenable evidence to rule out these cases.

Second, the assumption the above agreement rests on that these old people don't like rock music but news may be groundless. Because there is a likehood that these retired people have a myriad of habits including rock music. Under that circumstances the change will not reverse the decline of listener numbers. Besides if those retired people don’t like listen to station, the decision will not be efficient regardless of whatever the type of the program. Therefore the argument will be weaken without evidences to ensure those tired people’s habits.

Third, the population growth that the argument mentioned is not definite. This growth may be large or small. If the growth is small, it is not necessary to change the program for WWAC in that the listener numbers will not increase significantly to reverse the decline of listener numbers even if the all population growth will listen to the WWAC station. Therefore, the argument will be weaken if the arguer cannot give evidences to ensure the growth is large or small.

In a (没有a) conclusion, to strengthen the argument, the evidence没有s must be given that can改成to confirm the above assumptions such as the real reason to the limited sales of recorded music in the local store, the habits of retired people and the amount of population growth.


感觉思路没有问题
能否帮我改一下https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... =1813975&extra=

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发表于 2015-3-22 13:53:32 |只看该作者
这篇就是典型的4分作文....

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发表于 2015-3-22 20:45:09 |只看该作者
xiaoqijie 发表于 2015-3-22 13:53
这篇就是典型的4分作文....

能否说详细,相比3分,5分的区别

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发表于 2015-3-22 21:15:18 |只看该作者
xiaoqijie 发表于 2015-3-22 13:53
这篇就是典型的4分作文....

请问那篇文还有哪需要改进?

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