issue85 艺术类 干一行有一行的规矩 拍砖必回 回拍必恨

mkb57288UID: 2105771

限时写作，超时一分钟，修改了一下单词

题目
Government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.

正文

To better assess the argument, it is necessary to discriminate the purposes of funding. If the funding from government has something to do with special branches of art, it does threaten the integrity of the arts and exert undesirable effect on the development of art. But if not, the funding, as a general support to the environment of art, will benefit our society.

First, the funding makes arts subject to the effluence of government, which exactly threaten the freedom in their artistic works. The artists' self-expression is just a kind of liberty which our democratic system should always cherish. Consider the example of USSR, who emphasizes the party line in the creation of artistic works. In a democratic nation, although the effluence might not manifest itself in such a brutal and direct way, the funding from government actually promise a hidden and indirect way to interfere the development of art.

Another question with the funding is that who should be left to make decisions. Government officials are well-known for their susceptibility to peddling, and may make decisions on their own whimsical notion about art, which render the decision rather arbitrary. Some dissenter may argue that the task can be left to an uninterested committee. While the fact is that the committee, who is designed to replace the Big Brother, will actually become another one. For no matter who have the right to allocate the endowment, they may have a significant effluence in the development of arts.

From the normative point of view, the funding cannot prove itself to be an effective one. As we know, the funding always takes compensation for the malfunction of free market as its goal. However the maverick artists, who are most likely to fail in pandering to free market and then in need of support, is often those who are most likely not to get the endowment. In fact, the nature of artists’ sneer of bureaucratism prevents themselves from the benefit of public recourses, which can be got only through some bureaucratic procedure. As a result, the precious recourses are allocated effectively to the artists who peddle their work to the officials.

Recognizing the defect of government to support special artistic branches or works, few of us will deny that general support from government will benefit our society, by prevent it from barbarism. Many museums, art galleys are actually supported by government. These actions allow more access to certain art work for the ordinary people. As art serve to lift our spirits, the financial support help to the advancement of our inner world.

In sum, I agree with the speaker's claim when the support effluence the freedom of our artists. For the funding can hardly become an effective and disinterested one. While restrained in the sphere of general support, the funding can justify itself by benefiting our society.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-29 at 23:57 ]

mrealUID: 201732

mrealUID: 201732

issue 85 艺术类 干一行有一行的规矩 拍砖必回 回拍必恨

限时写作，超时一分钟，修改了一下单词

题目
Government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.

正文

To better assess the argument, it is necessary to discriminate the purposes of funding. If the funding from government has something to do with special branches of art, it does threaten the integrity of the arts and exert undesirable effect on the development of art. But if not, the funding, as a general support to the environment of art, will benefit our society.观点表述还挺明确的哈~

First, the funding makes arts subject to the effluenceinfluence吧？ of government, which exactly threaten the freedom in their指代不明啊 artistic works. The artists' self-expression is just a kind of liberty which our democratic system should always cherish. Consider the example of USSR这个缩写很常用吗？我查了才知道，要不要括号注释一下啊？, who emphasizes the party line in the creation of artistic works.这句话没看懂，解释一下好吧~ In a democratic nation, although the effluence might not manifest itself in such a brutal用残忍要表达什么啊？ and direct way, the funding from government actually promiseprovide吧？ a hidden and indirect way to interfere the development of art. 要说政府资助艺术是变相干涉它的发展对吧？不过那个例子我没看懂，惭愧哦~麻烦给我讲一下哈，谢啦！

Another question with the funding is that who should be left to make decisions. Government officials are well-known for their susceptibility to peddling, and may make decisions on their own whimsical notion about art, which render the decision rather arbitrary. 这句话说的很牛啊，呵呵，不过也够狠~Some dissenter may argue that the task can be left to an uninterested committee. While the fact is that the committee, whowhich吧 is designed to replace the Big Brother这种俗语据说在ISSUE里不好用的，应该用严格的书面用语, will actually become another one. For删 no matter who have the right to allocate the endowment, they may have a significant effluence in the development of arts.

From the normative point of view什么意思啊，又不懂了, the funding cannot prove itself to be an effective one. As we know, the funding always takes compensation for the malfunction of free market as its goal. However the maverick artists, who are most likely to fail in pandering to free market and then in need of support, is often those who are most likely not to get the endowment. In fact, the nature of artists’ sneer of bureaucratism prevents themselves from the benefit of public recourses, which can be got only through some bureaucratic procedure. As a result, the precious recourses are allocated effectively to the artists who peddle their work to the officials.这段好深哦~free market再解释一下吧，我太笨了，麻烦了~~~

Recognizing the defect of government to support special artistic branches or works, few of us will deny that general support from government will benefit our society, by prevent it from barbarism. Many museums, art galleys是不是要说gallery? are actually supported by government. These actions allow more access to certain art work for the ordinary people. As art serve to lift our spirits, the financial support help to the advancement of our inner world. 最后一句好像有些牵强吧~

In sum, I agree with the speaker's claim when the support effluence the freedom of our artists. For删 the funding can hardly become an effective and disinterested one. While restrained in the sphere of general support, the funding can justify itself by benefiting our society.

mrealUID: 201732

如果顺着你首段的思路走行文还是很顺畅的，不过你的语言……用词太不准了哈，我猜我猜我猜猜猜~呵呵……
而且我记得看到过说例子光摆在上面还是没有说服力的，必须要建立它和道理论证之间的关系，所以你那个苏联的例子我没太看明白~
道理论证的思路其实很清晰，要向你学习啊！
有些地方还要麻烦你解释一下啊，谢谢啦：P

mkb57288UID: 2105771

party line 党派路线
normative view 规范分析的观点 the normative is concerned with what should be right.
最后一段是想写特立独行的艺术家，因为不愿意迎合市场的口味而需要政府资助，而正因为其特立独行，也不会很好的完成拿到资助所需的繁杂手续，这样政府资助的目标自然无法达到

这一片感觉也是写得很乱，本想先大幅度的改一下，尤其是把最后一个Body加强一下求一下平衡，后来还是决定把限时的东西拿出来让大家评判:)

翦瞳UID: 184872

已经被mreal细细的拍了,我就不拍了，
提一点：
integrity:
1. The state or quality of being entire or complete;
      wholeness; entireness; unbroken state; as, the integrity
      of an empire or territory. --Sir T. More.

   2. Moral soundness; honesty; freedom from corrupting
      influence or motive; -- used especially with reference to
      the fulfillment of contracts, the discharge of agencies,
      trusts, and the like; uprightness; rectitude.

            The moral grandeur of independent integrity is the
            sublimest thing in nature.            --Buckminster.

            Their sober zeal, integrity. and worth. --Cowper.

   3. Unimpaired, unadulterated, or genuine state; entire
      correspondence with an original condition; purity.

            Language continued long in its purity and integrity.
                                                  --Sir M. Hale.

   Syn: Honesty; uprightness; rectitude. See Probity.
我觉得你的观点提的很到位，但在他的受政府影响上再论证一下，就是art无法独立思考的角度。funding 的好处也可以提一下，比如对基础设施的资助，对艺术院校的资助

zehuaUID: 199246

感觉是不是老外280的痕迹重了点？好多词和说法都是上面的。

mkb57288UID: 2105771

Originally posted by zehua at 2005-7-31 19:26
感觉是不是老外280的痕迹重了点？好多词和说法都是上面的。

这个好像没有吧，是不是记错了

BTW 翦瞳的修改太到位了