Argument147 请来砸，必回砸

freda_xinUID: 2133401

Argument147 慢慢地向成功限时走去。。。:p
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two yeats, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about tobe reversed.The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were the most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that privide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. "

In this argument, the conclusion drawn by the author that because of their extensive advertising campaign introducing several games with the features the survey reported, their sales of W video games are likely to increase dramatically seems to be plausible at first glance, but close inspection would reveal it fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted claims at several aspects.

Primarily, the survey probably had no pertinency to the solution of W's sales declining. Firstly since that no where in the passage, are the reasons of the decrease of the sales of W video games discussed. One might suppose that the failure of increasing the sales might mostly attributes to the advertising strategy rather than games
themselves. And perhaps piratics of the products of W are rampant in the market. Secondly, granted that it is the bug of the games which led to the declined sales, whether the games of W lacked of those features reported, such as with lifelike graphics and requiring the most up-to-date computers is not showed in the article. Therefore,
unless the author can guarantee that the decrease of sales of video games is merely caused by the games, which just have a fly in the ointment that they had no lifelike graphics in it and they did not require most advanced computers, saying that causality exists between the sales decrease and what the survey reported is unconvincing.

In addition, while it is true that letting lifelike graphics enter into games of W, and making the games require the most up-to-date computers can attract lots of video-game plays to games, it is no sufficient evidence to prove that introduing such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old can bring more consumers to W. In respect that although people between 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games, a majority of them might not be able to earn their living by themselves. In that case, even they love those games very much, they have to consider that whether their families can afford such games which require so advanced
computers. According, the prompting strategy that introducing games to 10 to 25 aged people needs further discussion.

Moreover, assume that all the analysis of the author above are reasonable, the assertion that after promoting such games being improved, the sales of W video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months is questionable. In common sense, increasing sales of products also influenced by many other major factors like the condition of competitors, the price in the market,and the service of the company. So it is uncertain that whether the sales will rise or fall.

To sum up, the argument is neither logical nor persuasive. To better bolster and sstrengthen the argument, the author would first make a comprehensive and thorough investigation of the reasons why the sales of vidio games inclined in the past two years, and then take a calm analysis about how to make the sales increase, rather than send such a brash assertion to the public in a business magazine.<517 words>

mmeiwUID: 2101523

Primarily, the survey probably had no pertinency to the solution of W's...简写据说尽量要避免... sales declining. Firstly since that no where in the passage, are the reasons of the decrease of the sales of W video games discussed. One might suppose that the failure of increasing the sales might mostly attributes to the advertising strategy rather than games
themselves. And perhaps piratics of the products of W are rampant in the market. Secondly, granted that it is the bug of the games which led to the declined sales, whether the games of W lacked of those features reported, such as with lifelike graphics and requiring the most up-to-date computers is not showed in the article. Therefore, ...这个感觉有点牵强，题目中象是在说他们找到了突破点，应该是做的比较欠缺的。可以从这里讨论：做了这些改进就能提高W的销量？...
unless the author can guarantee that the decrease of sales of video games is merely caused by the games, which just have a fly in the ointment that they had no lifelike graphics in it and they did not require most advanced computers, saying that causality exists between the sales decrease and what the survey reported is unconvincing.

In addition, while it is true that letting lifelike graphics enter into games of W, and making the games require the most up-to-date computers can attract lots of video-game plays to games, it is no sufficient evidence to prove that introduing such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old can bring more consumers to W. In respect that although people between 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games, a majority of them might not be able to earn their living by themselves. In that case, even they love those games very much, they have to consider that whether their families can afford such games which require so advanced
computers. According, the prompting strategy that introducing games to 10 to 25 aged people needs further discussion...这个批判点比较有代表性...

Moreover, assume that all the analysis of the author above are reasonable, the assertion that after promoting such games being improved,...表达怎么怪怪的？... the sales of W video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months is questionable. In common sense, increasing sales of products also influenced by many other major factors like the condition of competitors, the price in the market,and the service of the company. So it is uncertain that whether the sales will rise or fall....是否可以和第二点和而为一？...

To sum up, the argument is neither logical nor persuasive. To better bolster and sstrengthen the argument, the author would first make a comprehensive and thorough investigation of the reasons why the sales of vidio games inclined in the past two years, and then take a calm analysis about how to make the sales increase, rather than send such a brash assertion to the public in a business magazine...杂志？好象没提到吧？...
第二点逻辑错误有点牵强，且与后面不太连贯，中间缺了一个论证：
图象和计算机是否是原因？（such actions 是否能够促进销售？）——三、即便能促进销售，那就能吸引10-25岁的人吗？

freda_xinUID: 2133401

谢谢批改呵呵;)
magazine 是出现在题号后article前的一句话，有时候看看这句话能了解一些背景
关于思路我有点不同的看法，你看看有没有道理：
我的思路是：
1.该调查可能对于销量下降并没有参考价值（你所说的突破口如果真有体现也只能说明公司作出了游戏本身除了问题的猜测）；
2.如果它有参考价值，并且这些特征是最重要的，它无疑会吸引玩家，只是向10至25岁的玩家推广缺乏考虑（销售量是结论，作者到这时还没有推出能提高销售量）；
3.就算推广策略没问题，10~25岁玩家都是有钱人，也不能推出作者的结论：销量会猛增。

如果按你所说的：图象和计算机是否是原因？→如果是，such actions 是否能够促进销售？→即便能促进销售，那就能吸引10-25岁的人吗？反而出现了本末倒置，销量会增加是作者的结论，而吸引10-25岁的人是手段。你看呢？

mmeiwUID: 2101523

1.调查目的是找出能提高销量的原因吧？我觉得不是为了证明其销量下降。
2.同意
3.同意

澄清一个小错误，由于粘贴的格式原因，我错把你第一条的第二点当作你要批判的第二个点了。

我的思路和你的基本相同，但对survey的理解有分歧。

freda_xinUID: 2133401

你有写过这篇吗？把那段对survey的质疑发上来看看吧：）