[分享] 每日一评！2.8 ！6个贴切到位的一句话例子

imongUID：140258

写在前面：
老斑竹蛋蛋的每日一评原来是作文版的一个相当好的主题活动，很多点评都是有相当的启发意义的，可惜没能够继续做下去。另外，我明天就要开始上课了，每个礼拜的日程由于太过恐怖就不再叙述了。时间有限，如果想把工作效率提高点，想来继续每日一评这个活动还是比较好的选择。而且原先一直觉得作文版有必要做一些主题活动，一方面大家的参与可以活跃气氛增强交流，更重要的是交流越多，收获就越多。同时，主题活动的对象更广泛一些，解决的问题也比较有共性。

考虑到以上几点，我打算继续把每日一评做下去。但是由于个人时间的原因，以及要给大家留出讨论和思考的时间，不会真正做到“每日”，可能有时候会隔几天放一个，这个应该就叫做continual吧？:rolleyes:

希望我的分析能够给大家一些启发。帖子都是经过比较仔细的思考再放出来的，但是难保会有失误，也希望大家能够积极参与讨论，大家一起来提出问题，解决问题。

每日一评：6个贴切到位的一句话例子
Issue95

"People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork requires cooperation, which motivates people much more than individual competition does."

The speaker asserts that because teamwork requires cooperative effort, people are more motivated and therefore more productive working in teams than working individually as competitors. My view is that this assertion is true only in some cases.转述原题和自己观点的表达都是简洁明了 If one examines the business world, for example, it becomes clear that which approach is more effective in motivating people and in achieving productivity depends on the specific job.表示下文将从business的角度入手进行阐述，并且说明观点：it depends on specific job.

In some jobs productivity dearly depends on the ability of co-workers to cooperate as members of a team. For businesses involved in the production of products through complex processes, all departments and divisions must work in lock-step fashion toward product roll-out.例子很到位，一句话的内容就足够了。 Cooperative interaction is even essential in jobs performed in relative isolation and in jobs in which technical knowledge or ability, not the ability to work with others, would seem to be most important.精彩，even essential… would seem to be most important，看似矛盾实际上加强了对比的力度 For example, scientists, researchers, and even computer programmers must collaborate to establish common goals, coordinate efforts, and meet time lines. Moreover, the kinds of people attracted to these jobs in the first place are likely to be motivated by a sense of common purpose rather than by individual ambition. 围绕本段的中心进行了紧凑的阐述，前后两个例子简短而贴切，值得学习。如果我们的段落可以写成这样那就很不错了。

In other types of jobs individual competition, tenacity, and ambition are the keys to productivity. For example, a commissioned salesperson's compensation, and sometimes tenure and potential for promotion as well, is based on comparative sales performance of coworkers. Working as competitors a firm's individual salespeople maximize productivity-in terms of profit--both for themselves and for their firm.一个例子 Key leadership positions also call, above all, for a certain tenacity and competitive spirit. A firm's founding entrepreneur must maintain this spirit in order for the firm to survive, let alone to maximize productivity.第二个例子，let along这个让步好 Moreover, in my observation the kinds of people inclined toward entrepreneurship and sales in the first place are those who are competitive by nature, not those who are motivated primarily by a sense of common purpose.与上一段前后呼应，都再次扣到了specific job上面。

On balance, however, my view is that cooperation is more crucial for an organization's long-term productivity than individual competition. Even in jobs where individual competitiveness is part-and-parcel of the job, the importance of cooperation should not be underestimated. Competition among sales people can quickly grow into jealousy, back stabbing, and unethical behavior all of which are counterproductive. 开始说disadvantage，前面给一个甜枣儿现在来一棒锤。And even the most successful entrepreneurs would no doubt admit that without the cooperative efforts of their subordinates, partners, and colleagues, their personal visions would never become reality.两点的反击都是很到位，一针见血，再次体现出这篇文章的优点：例子贴切而到位。

In sum, individual competitiveness and ambition are essential motivating forces for certain types of jobs, while in other jobs it is a common sense of mission that motivates workers to achieve maximum productivity. In the final analysis, however, the overall productivity of almost every organization depends ultimately on the ability of its members to cooperate as a team.

而从这个结尾可以看到这篇文章的一些不足之处：个人认为，就像in sum这一段话的叙述一样，通篇文章都像是流水作业，从上走到下然后结尾万事大吉。在最开始的时候缺乏一定的统揽全局的东西。如果这篇文章稍加修改，从开始的时候就把基调定在cooperation上面，然后三个段落的顺序都不变，把关键部位加上一些transition，先cooperation，再让individual motivation，最后返回cooperation，全局的效果会好得多。Nevertheless，原文的分析已经不错了。另外则是从一开始就限定在business的领域——但原题并非如此，而最后也止步于自说自话，这样的做法未必可取，需要参见ETS的pp3说明文件详细谨慎考虑。

其实这个题目的题眼相当多。"People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork requires cooperation, which motivates people much more than individual competition does."前半句就是一个超级炸弹，炸出两个阵营（at least），而后面作为原题的supporting evidence则更是给大家留出口实：teamwork和cooperation的辨析（teamwork就等于cooperation了？？），关于motivation的手段，效果的分析和比较，另外其实还有的就是individual和cooperation的关系，等等。对于所有的题目都是一样：千万不要放过关键词，对关键词的辨析明了，一篇文章就搞定一半了（因为确定的清晰构架已经出来）。而对于后半句那种明显添乱的句子，不痛扁它，扁谁？要能够敏捷的发现这样的句子是可以拿来好好利用的。

杀青UID：140733

收藏了，谢谢！
分组讨论的主题活动是不是已经做完了？

imongUID：140258

学习类的topic已经全部贴出来了，大家可以继续在后面跟帖讨论。

加上原先5个，现在已经有6个题材的分类讨论了。

杀青UID：140733

最初由 imong 发布
[B]学习类的topic已经全部贴出来了，大家可以继续在后面跟帖讨论。

加上原先5个，现在已经有6个题材的分类讨论了。 [/B]

imong斑竹哥哥，那现在你们还做不做分类讨论啊？我虽然才开始学习写gre作文，也刚开始看分组讨论，我觉得从分组讨论里面学到了不少，打开了不少思路，希望能看多更多，不过估计你也很忙。。。。。。。555555

imongUID：140258

ft……

但愿从每日一评里面也能得到相应的启发吧。:)

其实大家完全可以试试自己做做这些东西，当初除了政治和历史是angei写的，剩下的：艺术是feier，教育是gambell，科技是00fox，都是大家自己动手的产品呢。

先看看精华区里面已经有的主题吧。会考虑适当时候继续做下去的说。