Argument167 传说中的薰衣草！哪位大虾能帮忙看一下语言~这样的语言能用不？

Helen@GUID: 2687113

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.
*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.

In the passage, the author tries to persuade us that the folk remedy for insomnia, which is the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective by describing a test's procedure which was only taken by 30 volunteers. However, this experiment has too many flaws that it can not support that lavender cures insomnia.
Firstly, a sample of 30 volunteers is too small, and apparently not sufficient. The most important thing to a remedy is that it is useful to almost all the people, but not just these 30 patients. Where do these volunteers come from? How old are they? How many males and females are there? What do they usually eat and drink? What’s their occupations? Can they represent all the people who are suffering insomnia? These questions need to be answered and the answers will affect the result significantly. It will show whether this therapy is useful to the patients just in one place or in the whole world, better to the young or the old, more useful to female or male. What is more, it will indicate that if the daily diet will influence the effect, if your occupation will decide whether this therapy is good for you. Only when these problems are settled, this test will be more reliable.
Secondly, the things compared after every week’s test are different so it is hard for us to draw a conclusion. Obviously, in the first and second week, the author lists the conditions when they were sleeping and after their sleeping while in the third week, only the length they sleep and the condition when they are sleeping are reported. From the passage, we can conclude that during the third week, these volunteers sleep longer and the condition during they are sleeping becomes better, however, we do not have access to whether they are more or less tired after the sleep. So whether this folk remedy is useful or not is open to doubt.
Last but not least, the author's understanding of "cure" may be different from the others’. The author draws this conclusion by the result of the test. This test just
shows that when the patients sleep on this lavender-scented pillow they will sleep well, whereas it is only when they still can have a good sleep on a common pillow that they can be called “cured”. To draw to this conclusion, the author needs to have further tests.
Insomnia is quite a terrible disease which has afflicted a lot of people for many years. Those who have long suffered from insomnia will be so happy to see this therapy and immediately try it. The more people long for it, the more professional it needs to be, or it will do bad to such a great number of people. Although this folk remedy may do no harm to the patients or even useless for ourselves, we still need to be precise, as that is the spirit of doing research.


弱弱的问一句，考试的时候，每段前面用空格么？？？

Hiker288UID: 2438083

一般有两种格式，一种是像你这样每段顶格写，但段与段之间要空一行；另一种是每段前空个三四格，段与段之间则不用空行了。推荐用第一种，较正式一些。