三天后上战场---Issue208求改

chjwUID: 2663731

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 511
TIME: 00:45:00


The best way to learn about a society is to observe its people, especially how they look, dress, and act. Through this process, we can get a good understanding of their attitude and interests.

When we open albums, we can see the track of the development of our society through the pictures from old times to the present. Maybe you may find decades ago the man in the black and white pictures looks funny, who actually is no one else but yourself. Take China for example, during the seventies last century, all the people wore the green uniforms and green caps with a red book in their hands. This is a time people worshiping the leadership of Mao, when hard work and simple life are appreciated. Moreover, at that time the most popular catchword of chairman Mao is "to learn from comrade Leifeng", and everyone is encouraged to help others even if sometimes it will sacrifice the individual interests. Then, time went on, we turn page to the nineties last century, and the pictures in our album are getting more colorful. People were wearing different clothes and can enjoy various entertainments such as disco dance. This was a time that Deng Xiaoping opened up the country to accept knowledge, ideas and fashions from the outside world. Everyone wanted to go to college and regain the lost knowledge. Then, we walk into the new century, we find ourselves living a modern life which is unimaginable in the past: we are wearing suits or blue jeans, listening the newest songs from the whole world and watching movies regarded as inappropriate in the seventies. People now are becoming more practical and emphasize efficiency and innovation.


Travelling around the world or just in the different provinces or states within a country, people with local customs give us the hint that we are stepping into a new land once we alight from the planes or trains. This is really the case especially in countries such as China and Russia, which has so many nations. Most ethnic tribes have their own style no matter in wearing clothes or in the way they walk and labor, both of these can reveal their values and beliefs. We can find that the Hui people (one branch of Muslim in China) are really good at singing because most of them speak in a beautiful tune, and through the black fabric the Hui women wear, we can conclude that they don't like women involving in the public affairs. So, we can get so many information through their external appearance and the way they behavior.


But nowadays, people around the world tend to look, dress, and act in the same way. This is inevitable due to the trend of globalization. People around the world especially the young, like the same style of music and movies, they share the same values such as innovation and adventure, they are likely to speak the same language in the future-- English because most of them begin to learn English at a very early stage of their life.

firhadayUID: 2287086

总体感觉，文章是不是写的有些主观了些，WE怎么怎么的，AW我个人理解还是需要用客观的东西比较合适，具有说服力。
在细节处，我感觉LZ小的语法问题比较多，还有就是用词不当有点问题，
比如第一句话，through this process,我个人建议是这个比较CHINGLISH，是不是换成by doing this,会更合适些？
good understanding是指什么，什么样的才叫good?
When we open albums, we can see the track （直接用track做动词会不会更简单些？）of the development of our society through the pictures from old times（past可能更地道些吧） to the present

以上一些小小的意见，希望你能作为参考

再有，文章绝对不是写的长分数就高，要有一点质量的，建议你可以再你每次写好文章好，仔仔细细的一个个字来斟酌，这样会让你在短时间有一个很大的进步！

加油！共勉之

chjwUID: 2663731

2# firhaday
说的太好了，我自己写了老半天都不知道。版主的意见好实用啊，谢谢你了!:)  
抓紧最后两天，加油加油！

hironakataUID: 2605470

例子狂牛， 但稍微多一点

chjwUID: 2663731

4# hironakata
恩，谢谢！例子是有点多。。。可惜我理论不起来。