美利坚作文小组9.22

goback211UID: 2419259

9.22 工作为了快乐还是MONEY？

超了3分钟，最近怎么回事，写作文老是超时，而且还写很多，这次又是530.看来废话太多了，辛苦各位了

    In modern times, there are so many people who are finding a job everyday. Jobs are remarkably essential for a person's living. Few people can live without a job except some criminals. But here comes a problem? Why do people want to have a job? Whether the money or salaries they earned is the most important? In my opinion, I think the most important thing among working is the happiness, though money is needed.
    As we know, after we accomplish some jobs, we can have some sense of achievement. Jobs always give us the impulse to overcome all the difficulties we encounter, because we can be regarded as a successful man if we can do it well. Perhaps this is the most essential in jobs, which can not be obtained through other methods. For example, one of my best friends has changed his job recently. He worked in a large company, in which he can earn a lot of money. To my surprise, he resigned and went to a small company where he just got middle-class salary. When I asked him the reason, he told me that he did not feel happy in the former company despite of high salary. The most impressive words he spoke is that money is just the method, while happiness is the destination.
    During jobs, we always can make so many friends with our co-workers, who would help us if we are in dilemma. More importantly, communication is the basic need of human beings. In the job, we have more chance to communicate with our customs, co-workers and managers. From my own experience, I also can feel the importance of happiness in a job. In this summer, I took an internship in a company for one month. In the month, I made some friends in the companies, and we always played football, basketball and even PC games together. When the time to leave was coming, I just felt unwilling to leave owing to the happy life these friends gave me. I even thought that I prefer to stay for a extra time even if I can earn nothing.
    In addition, the happiness in the job includes not only the achievement and friendship, but also the sense of being busy. Having something to do is basic instinct of human beings. As we devote ourselves into the job, all the unhappiness could be forgotten and this kind of full life always makes us so happy. As for me, if I can spend most of my time on job, I would think that I can have more chance to have a promising future in the life because I do my best.
    No one can deny that people can not live without money. But if a person live without happiness, this kind of life would be so terrible. Jobs always can help us get the happiness in a easier and practical ways. All the achievement, friendship and sense of being busy would attract more people to have a job. Of course, I need the salary to support my family, but it is undoubted for me that happiness is the most paramount things which encourage me to find a job.

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

In modern times, there are so many people who are finding a job everyday. Jobs are remarkably essential for a person's living. Few people can live without a job except some criminals. But here comes a problem? Why do people want to have a job? Whether the money or salaries they earned is the most important? In my opinion, I think the most important thing among working is the happiness, though money is needed.
呵呵，难得看到一篇不是很模板感觉的文章，很好。问句的用法很好。
    As we know, after we accomplish some jobs, we can have some sense of achievement. Jobs always give us the impulse to overcome all the difficulties we encounter, because we can be regarded as a successful man if we can do it well. Perhaps this is the most essential in jobs, which can not be obtained through other methods. For example, one of my best friends has changed his job recently. He worked in a large company, in which he can earn a lot of money. To my surprise, he resigned and went to a small company where he just got middle-class salary. When I asked him the reason, he told me that he did not feel happy in the former company despite of high salary. The most impressive words he spoke is （are）that money is just the method, while happiness is the destination.
你的文章确实挺长的，我觉得这个例子不错，要是能缩短一些就好了。毕竟500多字的文章我猜老美不爱看。
    During jobs, we always can（can always） make so many friends with our co-workers, who would help us if we are in dilemma. More importantly, communication is the basic need of human beings. In the job, we have more chance to communicate with our customs(customers), co-workers and managers. From my own experience, I also can (can also) feel the importance of happiness in a job. In this summer, I took an internship in a company for one month. In the month, I made some friends in the companies, and we always played football, basketball and even PC games together. When the time to leave was coming, I just felt unwilling to leave owing to the happy life these friends gave me. I even thought that I prefer to stay for a (an) extra time even if I can earn nothing.
还是例子长了。其实都可以用更精练的话说出来的。新东方老师就说老用I打头的句子不太好。
    In addition, the happiness in the job includes not only the achievement and friendship, but also the sense of being busy. Having something to do is basic instinct of human beings. As we devote ourselves into the job, all the unhappiness could be forgotten and this kind of full life always makes us so happy. As for me, if I can spend most of my time on job, I would think that I can have more chance to have a promising future in the life because I do my best.
    No one can deny that people can not live without money. But if a person live without happiness, this kind of life would be so terrible. Jobs always can （注意这两个词的顺序） help us get the happiness in a easier and practical ways（way）. All the achievement, friendship and sense of being busy would attract more people to have a job. Of course, I need the salary to support my family, but it is undoubted for me that happiness is the most paramount things（单数） which encourage（s） me to find a job.


总结：内容充实，句子连贯，例子最好不要都用个人经验，会略显主观。

我看了两篇文章，都比我写得好多了。向大家学习！

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

In modern times, there are so many people who are finding a job everyday. Jobs are remarkably essential for a person's living. Few people can live without a job except some criminals. But here comes a problem? Why do people want to have a job? Whether the money or salaries they earned is the most important? In my opinion, (I think可以去掉~~~~) the most important(换成significant,vital,crucial什么的吧，别重复前面的单词) thing among working is the happiness, though money is needed.开头不错~~~简洁明了

    As we know, after we accomplish some jobs, we can have some sense of achievement. Jobs always give us the impulse to overcome all the difficulties we encounter, because we can be regarded as a successful man if we can do it well. Perhaps this is the most essential in jobs, which can not be obtained through other methods. For example, one of my best friends has changed his job recently. He worked in a large company, in which he can earn a lot of money. To my surprise, he resigned and went to a small company where he just got middle-class salary. When I asked him the reason, he told me that he did not feel happy in the former company despite of high salary. The most impressive words he spoke is that money is just the method, while happiness is the destination.

    During jobs, we always can make so many friends with our co-workers, who would help us if we are in dilemma. More importantly, communication is the basic need of human beings. In the job, we have more chance to communicate with our customs, co-workers and managers. From my own experience, I also can feel the importance of happiness in a job. In this summer, I took an internship in a company for one month. In the month, I made some friends in the companies, and we always played football, basketball and even PC games together. When the time to leave was coming, I just felt unwilling to leave owing to the happy life these friends gave me. I even thought that I prefer to stay for an extra period of time even if I can earn nothing.

  In addition, the happiness in the job includes not only the achievement and friendship, but also the sense of being busy. Having something to do(willing to throw oneself into a career会不会好点，having something to do有点口语化~~) is basic instinct of human beings. As we devote ourselves into the job, all the unhappiness could be forgotten and this kind of full life always makes us so happy. As for me, if I can spend most of my time on job, I would think that I can have more chance（s） to have a promising future in the life because I do my best.

    No one can deny that people can not live without money. But if a person live without happiness, this kind of life would be so terrible. Jobs always can help us get the happiness in a easier and practical ways. All the achievement, friendship and sense of being busy would attract more people to have a job. Of course, I need the salary to support my family, but it is undoubted for me that happiness is the most paramount things（改成motivation吧） which encourage me to find a job.


句式很不错，错落有致。删去一个理由吧，字数就差不多了，建议删去第2条理由，因为感觉第2个理由适用性很广泛，就是可能很多人说吧，个人感觉~~~

P.S对不起，~~~~(>_<)~~~~ 这么晚才给你评~~~昨天有点事

fish1044UID: 2190500

In modern times, there are so many people who are finding a job everyday. Jobs are remarkably essential for a person's living. Few people can live without a job except some criminals. But here comes a problem? Why do people want to have a job? Whether the money or salaries they earned is the most important? In my opinion, I think the most important thing among working is the happiness, though money is needed.



As we know, after we accomplish some jobs, we can have some sense of achievement. Jobs always give us the impulse to overcome all the difficulties we encounter, because we can be regarded as a successful man if we can do it well. Perhaps this is the most essential in jobs, which can not be obtained through other methods. For example, one of my best friends has changed his job recently. He worked in a large company, in which he can earn a lot of money. To my surprise, he resigned and went to a small company where he just got middle-class salary. When I asked him for the reason, he told me that he did not feel happy in the former company despite of high salary. The most impressive words he spoke is(are) that money is just the method, while happiness is the destination.


During jobs(感觉很奇怪), we always（放在can后面比较好） can make so many friends with our co-workers, who would help us if we are in dilemma. More importantly, communication is the basic need of human beings. In the job, we have more chance to communicate with our customs, co-workers and managers. From my own experience, I also can feel the importance of happiness in a job. In this summer, I took an internship in a company for one month. In the month, I made some friends in the companies, and we always played football, basketball and even PC games together. When the time to leave was coming, I just felt unwilling to leave owing to the happy life these friends gave me. I even thought that I prefer to stay for a extra time even if I can earn nothing.（这段稍微有点乱）9 U4 L7 c# e, P6 d' q5 P
    In addition, the happiness in the job includes not only the achievement and friendship, but also the sense of being busy. Having something to do is basic instinct of human beings. As we devote ourselves into the job, all the unhappiness could be forgotten and this kind of full life always makes us so happy. As for me, if I can spend most of my time on job, I would think that I can have more chance to have a promising future in the life because I do my best.（感觉理由有点牵强）


No one can deny that people can not live without money. But if a person live without happiness, this kind of life would be so terrible（应该用个比较级吧，worse之类的）. Jobs always can help us get the happiness in a easier and practical ways. All the achievement, friendship and sense of being busy would attract more people to have a job. Of course, I need the salary to support my family, but it is undoubted for me that happiness is the most paramount things which encourage me to find a job.

语言上非常不错，就是感觉中间的理由描述有点点小问题。
这种文章肯定是个高分的文章，呵呵，加油