10.08作文。。

QhenryQUID: 2610878

是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects?


some people hold the view that telephone has more effects on human,while others,in contrast ,think that television effects people more.and from the point of my view , i agree with the former. there are numerous reasons,and i would explore only a few of the most important ones here.
    firstly,it is true that the invention of television dramatically enrich people's daily life,however,people can still lead a convenient life without television.what if we suddenly lose all telephones?  then,you can not call for help immediately you encounter any danger.and you have to write to your friends in order to keep in touch with them if the internet is not availiable for you.so  it is obvious that telepone effects people more than television.

   secondly, there are a variety of  substitutes of television, for instance, in order to know what happened recently you can read nespaper rather than watching TV and you can go to see a film rather than TV shows to relax yourselves.and we lose nothing if we have no television at all. however, nothing can  fill in the blank that the missing of telephone left to our lives.we can not even communicate with our parents and friends whenever we want to.
  Last but not least, nowadays people are more and more used to keep in touch with each other by sending MSM with their cell phones and what if we did not have cell phones any more. And it is true that television brings a lot of convenience and entertainments, but compared with the influence which telephone bring to us, I insist that telephone effects us more than television does in our daily life.

To sum up, both telephone and television have great effects on our everyday life, television help us know more about the world, and telephone keep us always in contact with our parents and friends, and they
give us a more comfortable life. All in all, I maintain that telephone has more effects on our lives.

karen_0315UID: 2590040

some people hold the view that telephone has more effects on human, while others, in contrast ,think that television effects（affects） people more. and from the point of my view（应该是my point of view吧~） , i agree with the former. there are numerous reasons, and i would explore（总觉得这个动词用的怪怪的） only a few of the most important ones here. 最后一句读着特别别扭
firstly, it is true that the invention of television dramatically enrich people's daily life, however, people can still lead a convenient life without television. what if we suddenly lose all telephones?  then, you can not call for help immediately when you encounter any danger. and you have to write to your friends in order to keep in touch with them if the internet is not availiable （available） for you. so  it is obvious that telepone effects people more than television.
secondly, there are a variety of  substitutes of television, for instance, in order to know what happened recently you can read nespaper rather than watching TV and you can go to see a film rather than TV shows to relax yourselves.and we lose nothing if we have no television at all. however, nothing can  fill in the blank that the missing of telephone left to our lives.we can not even communicate with our parents and friends whenever we want to.
Last but not least, nowadays people are more and more used to keep in touch with each other by sending MSM with their cell phones and what if we did not have cell phones any more. And it is true that television brings a lot of convenience and entertainments, but compared with the influence which telephone bring to us, I insist that telephone effects us more than television does in our daily life.
To sum up, both telephone and television have great effects on our everyday life, television help us know more about the world, and telephone keep us always in contact with our parents and friends, and they give us a more comfortable life. All in all, I maintain that telephone has more effects on our lives.

这位童鞋是不是用text之类文档写的文章呢？开头字母均没有大写，还有I，这个一定要有意识形成习惯的。还有，之后要空格才接下一个词。
语言比较primary，多读读英文文章和范文培养一下语感吧，大多是简单句，读的文章多了也就慢慢会写长点的句子了。语言搭配建议你用一下google
第一次对吧，还有很大的进步空间呢，加油吧~