10.9菜鸟作文

doubledianUID: 2661760

I can hardly to say that people in the modern society is more friendly than they are in the past. As the topic said people becomes more and more unfriendly under the pressures from work and study today. To hold this opinion I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.


First and for most, as the technology developing so fast today, people communicate with each other through the telephone and the internet, they seldom go out to visit there friends. This makes people forget how to communicate with other with "real" word. For instance, you may have a friend like this, when he face with you he don't know how to express his feelings or he can hardly say a word with other people which makes feel he is unfriendly and bad-mannered. But when he sit at the front of the computer he chat with you freely and easily and this makes you feel worm. This is the first reason why people feel more and more far away with each other.


Furthermore, as pressures from work and study becoming more and more, many people can't hold a happy mood in everyday's life. You may see they are friendly when they are working. However you feel they are terrible when you meet them after work. Many people may fall across the scene like this. When you talk with you friend, you can hardly see a smile on his face and you may be doubtful whether you have make something wrong with him. This makes people feel very sad about others unfriendly act.
  

Last but not least, people live in today's society are becoming more complicated than they were in past. You can not turn other people's aims when they talk with you in your mind clearly. That makes people feel very dangerous when they communicate with others. So at the time when you are in a bus or in a train you can hardly see two stranger are talking with each other. People are always keep quiet.


To sum up, people feel more unacquainted with others, they try their best to talk with other human as less as they can. This phenomenon makes people feel more unfriendly in today's world. I hope it can ameliorate in the future.

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

依我说，楼主还是把基础语法，比如名词单复数、动词几个主要时态先搞清楚比较好。

再这样写下去也是完全没有意义的~

doubledianUID: 2661760

2# cinderella1016 麻烦大师能不能给我改改啊？我自己也看不出来哪有问题，如果可以麻烦您帮改改的话，我看看我到底能错多少，大概都是怎么错,这么算起来我是写作文写了快半个月了，貌似也没有多少成效。。。。。

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

沙发上提到的那些，都应该是大学老师，甚至是高中老师教的。

您自己都看不出错，就去找老师吧~

fish1044UID: 2190500

I can hardly to(删掉) say that people in the modern society is more friendly than they are in the past. As the topic said people becomes more and more unfriendly under the pressures from work and study today.(什么意思？) To hold this opinion I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.- z7 a# R# Z7 h2 N/ y  s
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First and for most, as the technology developing so fast today, people communicate with each other through the telephone and the internet, they seldom go out to visit there friends. This makes people forget how to communicate with other with "real" word. For instance, you may have a friend like this, when he face with you he don't know how to express his feelings or he can hardly say a word with other people(you前面在讲他和你说话) which makes (others ) feel （that）he is unfriendly and bad-mannered. But when he sits at the front of（in front of, in the front of有其他意思） the computer he （can） chat with you freely and easily and this makes you feel worm. This is the first reason why people feel more and more far(further and further) away with each other.+ P. |3 J( g: g
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/ R* }, |! P  n  r% q, ^Furthermore, as pressures from work and study becoming more and more (burdensome), many people can't hold a happy mood in everyday's life(直接说everyday就可以了). You may see they are friendly when they are working. However you feel they are terrible when you meet them after work.(这句话有点罗嗦) Many people may fall across(这个用法我没见过，不知道对不) the scene like this. When you talk with you friend, you can hardly see a smile on his face and you may be doubtful whether you have make something wrong with(done something wrong to) him. This makes people feel very sad about others unfriendly act.(这句没有什么用)
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Last but not least, people's live in today's society are becoming more complicated than they were in past. You can not turn other people's aims when they talk with you in your mind clearly.(这句话没有看懂) That makes people feel very dangerous(为什么？) when they communicate with others. So at the time when you are in a bus or in a train you can hardly see two stranger are talking with each other. People are always keep quiet.
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& B5 {% Z: v. I- a) t: yTo sum up, people feel more unacquainted with others, they try their best to talk with other human as less as they can. This phenomenon makes people feel more unfriendly in today's world. I hope it can ameliorate in the future.（这个结尾跟文章好像关系不大）

先回答你的问题，last but not least不一定要跟first and formost一起用，只是它们在一起显得跟工整一些。

你的作文问题主要还是在于你对于英语语法的把握上面，很多表达方式都比较生硬。不知道你什么时候考试，如果没有很多的时间的话，建议参考一下模板，这样能避免很多错误。如果时间充足，可以回头看看语法书。

作文写的不好不要紧，多练练，考试还是很好应付的。加油。

scutgongUID: 2564275

I can hardly to (delete “to”) say that people in the modern society is more friendly than they are in the past. As the topic said people becomes more and more unfriendly under the pressures from work and study today. (topic时候并没有这么说？“你同不同意现在的人们没有以前friendly了？”). 作者最好明确指出你自己的观点。To hold this opinion I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.


First and for most, as the technology developing so fast today（as the fast development of technology这样会不会好点）, people communicate with each other through the （delete）telephone and the（delete）,  internetthey seldom go out to visit there （their） friends. This （It）makes people forget how to（建议删除how） communicate with other with "real" word. For instance, you（文中要少用you） may have a friend like this, when he face with you he don't know how to express his feelings or he can hardly say a word with other people which makes feel he is unfriendly and bad-mannered. But when he sit at（in） the front of the computer he chat（chats） with you freely and easily and this makes you feel worm. This is the first reason why people feel more and more far away with each other..

Furthermore, as pressures from work and study becoming（becomes） more and more（？）, many people can't hold a happy mood in everyday's （everyday） life. You may see they are friendly when they are working. However you feel they are terrible when you meet them after work. Many people may fall across the scene like this. When you talk with you （your）friend, you can hardly see a smile on his face and you may be doubtful whether you have make something wrong with him. This makes people feel very sad about others unfriendly act.

Last but not least, people live in today's society are becoming more complicated than they were in past. You can not（cannot） turn other people's aims when they talk with you in your mind clearly. That makes people feel very dangerous when they communicate with others. So at the time when you are in a bus or in a train you can hardly see two stranger are talking with each other. People are always keep（keeping） quiet.

To sum up, people feel more unacquainted with others,（and） they try their best to talk with other human as less as they can. This phenomenon makes people feel more unfriendly in today's world. I hope it can ameliorate in the future.

我和作者一样，都需要多多练习，熟能生巧！没事的，慢慢来，谁都是慢慢成长的。大家一起努力！