独立作文-进军美利坚 by zhengping

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

With the rapid developing (development) of science and technology, recently people in ever-expanding number (这个用法没见过哦，觉得比较拗口，不知道是不是对的~) are aware of the fact that getting education and experience play a great part of people's life and work. There is a violent controversy that some believe the point that people should pay more attention on concepts or ideas of education (concept/idea
of A应该是指“A的概念”吧，也许可以用in？我也不确定~), while others support the opposite opinion that people should spend more time and energy learning' V" f6 h) \6 vfacts or practices
(learn practices不是很合适吧?). Form (In 固定搭配) my point of view, it is more significant to study practices or facts than to gain concepts or ideas. Detail explanations that support my point of view are as following (as follows). * E! Z) R+ P! E4 ~7 K7 k$ s
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Admittedly, to study theories or concepts actually has a positive importance to the developing (develpment) of science and technology. It is hardly find that without the support of fundamental theories or basic concepts scientists or researchers can get advanced thought and new things. (这个句子结构和意思都有问题) Also it has play an important role in people’s daily life, for example, the moral concepts or disciplines, like a guide, conduct people to manage their businesses or to deal with problems better when happened (when any problem happens). The concepts to people's work or life is to what the bees to the flowers. (Concepts are to people’s work or life what bees to flowers.)




Nevertheless, all of ideas or concepts, if wanted to turn them to become ture eventually, should connect with their practices and facts. (病句，主语是ideas and concepts, 主句应被动，if从句缺主语) One hundred ideas are not as good as only one practice. Let us take an economic case as an example. Not long ago, as we known, almost all countries have suffered a bad financial crisis. (Not long ago 用过去式) Before the disaster a lot of economists had suggested that governments should spent more time and money to block some predicted crises. And also many excellent papers about avoiding economic crisis had appeared on some international public journals. However, if without searching and using these papers, they will be stone-broke. (建议楼主再学习下伴随状语的逻辑主语及主语省略问题~~如果时间不多，就尽量避免这样的句子，用完整的主从句，不要省略主语，虽然不出彩，但不会出错) Basic（based）on these practices, during the crisis our government play series policies and projects in order to prevent the developing of financial crisis. It is an undeniable fact that our economy has recover quickly since
these policies were practised.1 V; ^( \0 N1 G% l' {

To sum up, to develop science and technology better, to improve our life and work, and to avoid making mistakes, it is worthy that people should take more a （去掉a）consideration on learning and using facts or practices than concepts or ideas.


开头和让步段比较好，论述段理由不充分，语法上还需要注意，特别是长句子，如果没有把握就尽量避免长句。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.23 大学应不应该要求所有的学生都学习除了本国文化以外的文化？
With the rapid development of science andtechnology, recently people in ever expanding number are aware of theimportance of foreign culture or international culture, especially the collegestudents. There is a violent contradictory that whether all of the collegestudents should learn the foreign culture, or not. Form my point of view, thecollege students should spend some of time and energy to study other countries’culture in their college life. Detail explanations that support my point are asfollows.

First of all, learning other countries’culture the college students are able to broaden their horizon and improvetheir intelligence. As we all know, a lot of foreign countries have their ownlong history, so they sure have their own culture that including as follows,some of especial custom and festivals, some of historical showplace, differentnative languages and architecture style. With the development of internet,almost of college students can by clicking mouse surf the internet to searchall kinds of information or story about other countries, of course from booksto get it. When on some communicating scenes or after graduate, with sufficientother countries’ culture, these college students can express their intelligencebetter in the communication or more easily accomplish their tasks in workfield.

In addition, it is undeniably fact that tolearn different countries’ culture can enhance the development of science andtechnology, especially increase the communication between us and othercountries’ people, which help us to reduce distrust or mistakes. Let us take anexample, at last decades all most of students in our country have to study theEnglish language, especially the college students need pass the examination thatcalled it CET-four or CET-six. The English language is the most popularlanguage in this world, and also it is including a lot that England culture, America culture and other countriesof speaking English. To learn the English well we can gain more chances tolearn more advanced science or technology from other developed countries.

To sum up, to be the intelligential collegestudents, we should learn more foreign culture well, because it will provide somuch advantage to us in the future work.

heqiang_1001UID: 2607349

With the rapid development of science and technology, recently（置后吧） people in ever expanding number are aware of the importance of foreign culture or international culture, especially the college students. There is a violent contradictory that whether all of the college students should learn the（去掉） foreign culture, or not. Form my point of view, the college students should spend some of time and energy to study other countries’culture in their college life. Detail explanations that support my point are as follows.

First of all, learning other countries’culture， the college students are able to broaden their horizon（学习，我当时没有想到） and improve their intelligence. As we all know, a lot of foreign countries have their own long history（有点别捏，have long histories of their own）, so they sure have their own culture that including as follows(这句什么意思？有点问题吧),some of especial custom and festivals, some of historical showplace, different native languages and architecture style.(细节，学习) With the development of internet,almost (all)l of college students can by clicking mouse（状语后置吧） surf the internet to searchall kinds of information or story about other countries, of course from books to get it.（这个网络的例子说明了什么呢？如果自己可以通过网络了解，还需要开设课程干嘛呢。呃，关于为何要开设课程这点我也没有侧重） When（去掉，后面只有两个短语没有句子啊） on some communicating scenes or after graduate（after their graduation）, with sufficien to ther countries’ culture, these college students can express their intelligence better in the communication or more easily accomplish their tasks in work field.

In addition, it is (a) undeniably fact that to learn different countries’ culture can enhance the development of science and technology, especially increase the communication between us and other countries’ people(people from other countries), which help us to reduce distrust or mistakes. Let us take an example, at last decades all most of students in our country have to study the English language(直接就English就行了吧), especially（especially不能引导从句吧？） the college students need pass the examination that called it（called）CET-four or CET-six. The English language is the most popular language in this world, and also it is including a lot that (?) England culture, America culture and other countries of speaking English. To learn(Learning ，不定式多用在将要、打算要做的事) the English well we can gain more chances to learn more advanced science or technology from other developed countries.   (这段的论述，没有阐述清楚为什么学英语就学advanced science and technology了，还有四六级的例子，这是个现象，究竟为什么会出现这样的现象，这样要求有什么好处，以至能学到更好的科学技术。逻辑跳跃性太强了，论证不够严密)

To sum up, to be the intelligential college students, we should learn more foreign culture well, because it will provide somuch advantage to us in the future work.

问题：1、论点明确，但论述中没有真正展开，逻辑也不够严密，举细节支撑吧（我也做的不好，学习中）
        2 、少量语法错误。

感谢回改，改完告诉我一下吧。谢呢:)

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.24hen relaxing, some people like to spend time alone. What's your opinion?

With the rapidly developmentof science and technology, people in ever expanding number are aware of that affordingpsychical or mental rest is becoming more and more important. Of course, differentpeople have different style of relaxing. Some people may like to spend timealone to rest or relax. Others may like to spend time relaxing together withtheir friends or parents, and so on. From my point of view, people relaxingwith others have more advantages than alone. Detail explanations that supportmy point are as follows.

The first plaintruth, nowadays, as the rapid peace of life and work in this world, people surelyhave all kinds of problems, or more or less pressures. So how reduce thesepressures is become a key for people, I believe that relaxing with other peopleis better than alone. First of all, when people have some problems or pressuresin their study or work, by talking with others or asking suggestions, they can moreeasily release their pressures. For instance, when I have felt frustrated orboring on my study or others, I rather went to play sports games such as basketballtogether with my friends or classmates. By this relaxing method of playing withothers, it can help me to become less anxious, and also I can gain some useful qualitysuch as cooperation. It is an undeniable fact that I really get happiness fromplaying with others.

In addition, by relaxingor playing with others, people can avoid many mistakes. As we known, if somepeople are playing with their friends or family talking about some their displeasures,their friends or family sure help them to figure out some solutions if they cando it. Of course it is sure that improving their friendship and family ship.

Admittedly, ifsomeone spends time alone without communicating with others, when he has sufferedhis setbacks, he may make some mistakes.

To sum up, we cansafely come to the conclusion that people should spend more time relaxing withothers, because it can offers a lot of advantages to people when they have somepressures or setbacks

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.26 In universitystudents should take the history courses no matter what field they study.
整整一个小时，写着写着把时间忘了。


There is a sayingthat the remembrance of the past is the teacher of the future. It means thehistory is very important in anyway.


With the rapidlydevelopment of science and technology, people in ever expanding number areaware of the importance of education recently. There is a contradictory thatwhether the college students should take the historical courses no matter whatfield they study, or not. From my point of view, I believe that the universitystudents should sign up the historical courses. Detail explanations thatsupport my point are as follows.



First and foremost, as we all known, thehistorical course is one of the most important of all introductory courses. Asthe same of other important courses, by learning this course the collegestudents can attain plenty of knowledge or information such as some importanthistorical events. Take a historical book called Romances of Three Kingdom asan example. As you may know, it happened more than a thousand years ago wasabout some wars among the three countries. Form this book students can learnwhen, where, why and how these wars were broken out among the three countries. Andalso they can learn about some methods and techniques used by them in thesewars. Because some of the methods and techniques are very useful to people insome areas such as study, work, science and business. Especially for thecollege students, they are much easy deal with some problems or setbacks intheir study or search if using some methods from it.



In addition, as the developmentof society, many university students have a lot of chance to go abroad forfurther study. Learning some of foreign countries history, they are easierstudy in these countries. For example, one of my friends called Sum, about twoyears ago, went abroad for study in America. Now he is study in afamous university at the chemical department in the South America. Last week he told me that he got a scholarship of thecoming year because his excellent credit report. He also told me that hissuccess is the result of his good historical knowledge of America. Becausehe is good at American historical cultures and events, it is not only can helphim to talk with professors for some professional questions, but also much easyto communicate with others such as classmates and friends.


All in all, due to abovethe reasons, we can safely make a conclusive that in university students shouldtake the historical courses no matter what field they study.

ice--breakerUID: 2717367

你的作文里面例证法用的很好，不过我对这个题目的理解跟你们不一样。跟我们同组另外一个人的作文的感觉一样。我不知道我说的是否有道理。刚看了新东方的网络课堂，我的写作水平还不高，也是第一次写作，批改可能不准备，不过下面完全是我的个人评论。觉得你整个主题抓错了，有跑题的嫌疑。因为这个主要是讨论是否得一定得上历史课，而不是历史课在我们生活中有多重要。历史重要是重要但我们不一定要通过上课去学，可以通过其他方式学，我觉得应该着重写出上历史课的重要性而不是历史的重要性。
优点：例证法用的很好，句子也写得不错，
缺点：很多单词没有空格，看的比较辛苦，
There is a sayingthat the remembrance of the past is the teacher of the future. It means thehistory is very important in anyway.

+ l/ f  m# R( }& k
With the rapidlydevelopment of science and technology, people in ever expanding number areaware of the importance of education recently. There is a contradictory thatwhether the college students should take the historical courses no matter whatfield they study, or not. From my point of view, I believe that the universitystudents should sign up the historical courses. Detail explanations thatsupport my point are as follows." [/ X# Y4 |" t. A) w


. g" D+ A8 l% ?) W4 m
First and foremost, as we all known, thehistorical course is one of the most important of all introductory courses. Asthe same of other important courses, by learning this course the collegestudents can attain plenty of knowledge or information such as some importanthistorical events. Take a historical book called Romances of Three Kingdom asan example. As you may know, it happened more than a thousand years ago wasabout some wars among the three countries. Form this book students can learnwhen, where, why and how these wars were broken out among the three countries. Andalso they can learn about some methods and techniques used by them in thesewars. Because some of the methods and techniques are very useful to people insome areas such as study, work, science and business. Especially for thecollege students, they are much easy deal with some problems or setbacks intheir study or search if using some methods from it. 7 a( p0 I/ W$ B% }/ ^* k  }5 R
3 R1 r; K3 v- w) E$ r1 i

$ @' n7 W9 f& T- P: O8 y
In addition, as the developmentof society, many university students have a lot of chance to go abroad forfurther study. Learning some of foreign countries history, they are easierstudy in these countries. For example, one of my friends called Sum, about twoyears ago, went abroad for study in America. Now he is study in afamous university at the chemical department in the South America. Last week he told me that he got a scholarship of thecoming year because his excellent credit report. He also told me that hissuccess is the result of his good historical knowledge of America. Becausehe is good at American historical cultures and events, it is not only can helphim to talk with professors for some professional questions, but also much easy（要用比较级吧）to communicate with others such as classmates and friends.* m9 b5 r' C9 U$ t

  ~; T9 I0 p: z. T2 V+ \
All in all, due to abovethe reasons, we can safely make a conclusive（conclusion） that in（多余） university students shouldtake the historical courses no matter what field they study.

karen_0315UID: 2590040

There is a sayingthat the remembrance of the past is the teacher of the future. It means thehistory is very important in anyway.

With the rapidlydevelopment of science and technology, people in ever expanding number areaware of the importance of education recently. There is a contradictory（controversy） thatwhether the college students should take the historical (history)courses no matter whatfield they study, or not. From my point of view, I believe that the universitystudents should sign up(?) the historical courses. Detail explanations thatsupport my point are as follows.


First and foremost, as we all known, thehistorical course is one of the most important of all introductory courses(读起来很罗嗦). Asthe same of other important courses（这句可以去掉，和下面没有什么太多逻辑关系）, by learning this course the collegestudents can attain plenty of knowledge or information such as some importanthistorical events. Take a historical book called Romances of Three Kingdom asan example. As you may know, it happened more than a thousand years ago wasabout some wars among the three countries. Form this book students can learnwhen, where, why and how these wars were broken out among the three countries. Andalso they can learn about some methods and techniques used by them in thesewars. Because some of the methods and techniques are very useful to people insome areas such as study, work（[这两个算area？怎么能和后面的两个并列呢）, science and business. Especially for thecollege students, they are much easy（more easily） deal with some problems or setbacks intheir study or search if using some methods from it.



In addition, as the developmentof society, many university students have a lot of chance to go abroad forfurther study. Learning some of foreign countries history, they are easierstudy in these countries. For example, one of my friends called Sum, about twoyears ago, went abroad for study in America. Now he is study(ing) in afamous university at the chemical department in the South America. Last week he told me that he got a scholarship of thecoming year because his excellent credit report. He also told me that hissuccess is the result of his good historical knowledge of America. Becausehe is good at American historical cultures and events, it is not only can helphim to talk with professors for some professional questions, but also much easyto communicate with others such as classmates and friends.

All in all, due to abovethe reasons, we can safely make a conclusive(conclusion) that in university students shouldtake the historical courses no matter what field they study.

错误比较多，主要是语法和拼写，还有用词，词性混杂，语言偏于chinglish，也简单一些。不过字数很多哈。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.29Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young peopleto have the ability to plan and organize.

With the rapid development of science and technology, modern society is become more and more complex. So people in ever expanding number are aware of that whether the ability to plan and organize is essential for the young people. In some countries, some people think that it is necessary for the young people to haveit. Others are opposing this point. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the former. Because the young people can learn amount of benefit through planning their study project and career.

First and foremost, I strongly support the idea of having the skill to plan and organize because it may benefit both the young people and others not only in the present but also in the future. By having the faculty to plan and organize career, the young people can more clearly understand the comprehensive of them, and alsothey can take advantage of their capability in their professions. At the same time, they don’t easily lose the orientation of their goal if before they can plan the scheme of life or work well. One new study taken by scientists indicates that the young people having the ability have more chances to reach successful than those without it. As can be seen form the above analysis, the advantages of having the ability of planning are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it.

In addition, of course, while professional knowledge and other capabilities are important, without the excellent abiltiy to plan and organize, any young people can be horribly frustrating. In the modern world, the society is become more complicated, so the ability to plan and organize the young people should have is obvious more important than in the past, especially to college students. Aswe all know, college students should study amount of knowledge and information within a study career about three or four years. However, there is difficult tomake a choice that which courses are more important. So before taking somecourses they should plan a scheme about their study, which will help them easier to get higher credit or graduate.

In conclusion, I think although modern society is become more complex may do some harm to people’ life and work to some degree, the young people still overcome their problems if they have the ability to plan and organize well. I feel thatthe young people wish to live or work well, they should take the ability to plan and organize.

Amber0926UID: 2555355

10.29Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young peopleto have the ability to plan and organize.
( B/ I6 l. E( s& O5 I
0 U/ _! U, N  ~# g. J( z! oWith the rapid development of science and technology, modern society is become(两动词) more and more complex. So people in ever expanding number are aware of that whether（多余） the ability to plan and organize is essential for the young people. In some countries（去掉）, some people think that it is necessary for the young people to haveit. Others are opposing this point. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the former. Because the young people can learn amount of benefit through planning their study project and career.; Y  c0 J5 k$ o# J7 _
! N3 R; C" w' |! s* k) C) c
First and foremost, I strongly support the idea of having the skill to plan and organize because it may benefit both the young people and others not only in the present but also in the future（句式杂糅，改it not only benefit。。。at present， but also benefit them in the future）. By having the faculty to plan and organize career, the young people can more clearly understand the comprehensive of them, and alsothey can take advantage of their capability in their professions. At the same time, they don’t easily lose the orientation of their goal if before they can plan the scheme of life or work well. One new study taken by scientists indicates that the young people having the ability（说明什么ability） have more chances to reach successful than those without it. As can be seen form the above analysis, the advantages of having the ability of planning are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it.5 i8 Y$ M; o  Y0 f! t& [

$ |  n) J( t: M- s9 TIn addition, of course, while professional knowledge and other capabilities are important, without the excellent abiltiy to plan and organize, any young people can be horribly frustrating.（这句的逻辑没读懂）
In the modern world, the society is become more complicated, so the ability to plan and organize the young people should have is obvious more important than in the past（这句两个动词，have is）, especially to college students. Aswe all know, college students should study amount of knowledge and information within a study career about three or four years. However, there is difficult tomake a choice that which courses are more important. So before taking somecourses they should plan a scheme（这是阴谋的意思，贬义多些，用schedule) about their study, which will help them easier to get higher credit or graduate.0 D' {8 I" N  `6 ]/ @$ v, U

5 q4 f# W( n1 h* b1 y, y) BIn conclusion, I think although modern society is become more complex may do some harm to people’ life and work to some degree, the young people still overcome their problems if they have the ability to plan and organize well. I feel thatthe young people wish to live or work well, they should take the ability to plan and organize.4 B4 t. u) B+ _

oceanmasterUID: 2594404

10.29Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young peopleto have the ability to plan and organize.! K1 @* m: x* a

* x, A; n' O$ }2 h+ y- ?
With the rapid development of science and technology, modern society is become more and more complex. So people in ever expanding number are aware of that whether the ability to plan and organize is essential for the young people. In some countries, some people think that it is necessary for the young people to haveit. Others are opposing this point. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the former. Because the young people can benefit greatly from planning their study project and career
" R$ ~1 [3 B5 h: y7 u
First and foremost, I strongly support the idea of having the skill to plan and organize because it may benefit both the young people and others not only in the present but also in the future. By having the faculty to plan and organize career, the young people can more clearly understand the comprehensive(??) of them, and also they can take advantage of their capability in their professions. At the same time, they don’t easily lose the orientation of their goal if before they can plan the scheme of life or work well. One new study taken by scientists indicates that the young people having the ability are more likely to achieve success than those without it. As can be seen form the above analysis, the advantages of having the ability of planning are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it.+ I) ?1 L# y) Y, |

% Y, z) B- }) u3 p' B5 ?In addition, of course, while professional knowledge and other capabilities are important, without the excellent abiltiy to plan and organize, any young people can be horribly frustrating. In the modern world, the society is become more complicated, so the ability to plan and organize the young people should have is obvious more important than in the past, especially to college students. Aswe all know, college students should study amount of knowledge and information within a study career about three or four years. However, there is difficulty to make a choice that which courses are more important. So before taking somecourses they should plan a scheme about their study, which will help them easier to get higher credit or graduate.6 v' Q; ^7 o; E( _. T7 k
% j" y5 t" y/ K3 r2 ^
In conclusion, I think although modern society become more complex may do some harm to people’ life and work to some degree, the young people still overcome their problems if they have the ability to plan and organize well. I feel thatthe young people wish to live or work well, they should take the ability to plan and organize

总体来说不错，我觉得这篇文章比我们两个都好。主要在于思路清晰，语言表达清楚，易于理解。

然而另一方面，我觉得问题也存在，就是文章的观点不够insightful, 语言表达不够出彩。

基本上这篇宝地是没有问题了，但是如果楼主想要的高分的话，恐怕语言的多样性和文章思路上还要下功夫。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.31 Some people believe that acollege or university education should be available to all students. Othersbelieve that higher education should be available only to good students.Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with? Explain why.

With the rapid development of science andtechnology, people in ever expanding number are aware of that a college oruniversity education is more and more important to all students recently. Thereis a violent contradictory. Some people believe that higher education should beavailable to all students. While others oppose this point, they argue thathigher education should be available only to good students because of limited educativeresource. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the former. Becauseall students have the right to enjoy the chances to attend college oruniversity, at the same time they can acquire amount of useful knowledge andinformation through higher education.

First and foremost, I totally believe the viewthat higher education is highly important to every student, because it may greatlybenefits students not only at present but also in the future. There is nodoubted that students can have many chances to learn all kinds of professionalknowledge and skills in college or university. It means that students are more likelyto achieve success. A nationwide investigation taken by experts suggests thatstudents with higher education are not only more easily to sign up a good job,but also better to accomplish their tasks at the same condition. This issufficient evidence to show that higher education is more important to studentsthan in the past. Especially modern society is becoming more and more complexand puzzling so that all students will have to face more problems and overcomeall sorts of pressure in the future. So we are not surprised that many studentsgraduated from colleges or universities are hard finding a suitable position injob market, not to mention those students without higher education. Therefore,we can safely say that higher education is necessary to every student.

In addition, of course, as the development ofsociety, students without higher education are difficult to adapt the rapidpace of daily life and work. It means that some of people may likely fail to dotheir own works. Our society is filled with the examples of most of people justcan accomplish some simple works without higher education, and it is difficultfor they to make progress. So we must accept the essential fact that attendingcollege or university benefits all students in all kinds of field.

In conclusion, as can be seen from the aboveanalysis, the advantages of carrying out the higher education for all studentsare obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it. Therefore, we can safelybelieve that a college or university education should be available to allstudents.

scutgongUID: 2564275

With the rapid development of science and technology, people in ever expanding number are aware of that a（a应该可以去掉吧，教育是不可数的名词） college or university education is more and more important to all students recently. There is a violent contradictory. Some people believe that higher education should be available to all students. While others oppose this point, they argue that higher education should be available only to good students because of limited educative（感觉这里用educational好点吧） resource. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the former. Because all students have the right to enjoy the chances to attend college or university, at the same time they can acquire amounts of useful knowledge and information through higher education.

First and foremost, I totally believe the view that higher education is highly important to every student, because it may greatly benefits students not only at present but also in the future. There is no doubt that students can have many chances to learn all kinds of professional knowledge and skills in college or university. It means that students are more likely to achieve success. A nationwide investigation taken by experts suggests that students with higher education are not only more easily to sign up a good job, but also better to accomplish their tasks at the same condition. This is sufficient evidence to show that higher education is more important to students than in the past. Especially modern society is becoming more and more complex and puzzling so that all students will have to face more problems and overcome all sorts of pressures in the future. So we are not surprised that many students graduated from colleges or universities are hard finding（to find） a suitable position in job market, not to mention those students without higher education experience. Therefore, we can safely say that higher education is necessary to every student.

In addition, of course, as the development of society, students without higher education are difficult to adapt to the rapid pace of daily life and work. It means that some of people may likely fail to do their own works. Our society is filled with the examples of most of people just can accomplish some simple works without higher education, and it is difficult for they to make progress. So we must accept the essential fact that attending college or university benefits all students in all kinds of field.

In conclusion, as can be seen from the above analysis, the advantages of carrying out the higher education for all students are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it. Therefore, we can safely believe that a college or university education should be available to all students.


写的中规中矩，不愧是一篇好文章。我是学习了，红色字体是我认为可以修改的地方。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10-31 integrated writing

In the lecture, the professor made several points about whether MarcoPolo had traveled to China.The professor argues that Marco Polo had traveled to China. On the contrary, the readingpassage contends that he never traveled to China. The professor finds that theexamples cited in the reading passage are not credible, and thus concludes thatthe points made in the reading passage are not trustworthy.

First of all, the professor thinks that it is normal for Marco Polo touse the Persian place-name and not use any Chinese or Mongolian place-names,because Persian was the major language used in that period. In contrast, thereading passage believes that Marco Polo never picked up any Mongolian orChinese place-names. So, the professor totally disagrees with the view made inthe reading.

Second, the professor discusses that Marco Polo failed to mention theChinese tea and the teahouses, because the culture of tea drinking was mainlypopular in the southern part of China,while Marco Polo stayed in northern part of China. So it would beunderstandable. Contradicting what is stated in the reading.

Finally, the professor raises the issue that Marco Polo had used adifferent name that is unrecognized. And then it is possible that the ancientChinese court sometimes did not use the people's real names in officialrecords. In addition, perhaps, the records referring to Marco Polo may simplehave been lost. These points disagree with the point that Marco Polo nevertraveled to Chinademonstrated in the reading.

So, based on these discusses demonstrated above, the contents in thereading passage are totally jeopardized by the professor.

xwloveUID: 2481588

28# zhengping001

In the lecture, the professor made several points about whether MarcoPolo had traveled to China.The professor argues（时态最好统一，到底是现在时还是过去时） that Marco Polo had traveled to China. On the contrary, the reading passage contends that he never traveled（可以换词） to China. The professor finds that the examples cited in the reading passage are not credible, and thus concludes that the points（可以换词） made in the reading passage are not trustworthy（这一句值得进一步推敲，有点生硬 By pointing out that the examples cited in the reading passage are not reliable, the professor completely refutes the passage）.

First of all, the professor thinks that it is normal for Marco Polo touse（该词不恰当吧？） the Persian place-name and not use any Chinese or Mongolian place-names,because Persian was the major language used in that period. In contrast, the reading passage believes that Marco Polo never picked up any Mongolian or Chinese place-names. So, the professor totally disagrees with the view made in the reading(TOPIC Sentence 建议放在句首好一点First of all, the professor has different opinion on place-names.)

Second, the professor discusses that Marco Polo failed to mention the Chinese tea and the tea houses, because the culture of tea drinking was mainly popular in the southern part of China, while Marco Polo stayed in northern part of China. So it would be understandable(it指代不明确). Contradicting what is stated in the reading（该句子不完整）.

感觉作者是用汉语思维写文章的；虽然有逻辑词，但没有逻辑性

这段没有很好地显示professor观点和passage观点的对比

^2 \/ O0 p
Finally, the professor raises the issue that Marco Polo had used a different name that is unrecognized. And then it is possible that the ancient Chinese court sometimes did not use the（去掉） people's real names in official records. In addition, perhaps, the records referring to Marco Polo may simple（simply） have been lost. These points disagree with the point（此处非常拗口） that Marco Polo never traveled to Chinademonstrated in the reading.' p" `- {( x* Y1 B- G

So, based on these discusses demonstrated above, the contents in the reading passage are totally jeopardized（该词似乎不恰当） by the professor.

文章包含了重要信息

层次分明，组织有序

逻辑性有待加强

不足之处在于有些句式运用不当，用词不确切。应当注意用词的多样性。

个人感觉这类题目有很多词汇是经常用的，我们可以通过学习范文掌握。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

11-3Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live ina big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons anddetails to support your answer.6

Withthe rapid development of science and technology, people in ever expandingnumber are aware of that the quality of live is becoming more important thanbefore. However, where human beings live in is better for their life and health.There is a violent contradictory. Some people prefer to live in a small townmay for fresh air. While others cast doubt on this point, they hold theposition that it is the better to inhabit a big city. As far as I am concerned,I strongly agree with the latter one because people can get amount ofadvantages through living in big cities.

Firstand foremost, it should be obvious that people living in big cities can acquiremany benefits for sure. In the urban area, firstly it can provide advancededucation to all students to learn. There are so much expensive buildings andfancy facilities that many teachers who bear abundant knowledge and informationprefer to stay on big cities. I strongly support the idea of dwelling a bigcity for it sure benefits people not only for themselves but also for theiroffspring. This is that their children can obtain better education in urbanarea than small town. And second, there are so many companies and enterprisesthat people do not difficult find a suitable job or position. Most of peoplebelieve that big cities representing more money. Because men with good highereducation can gain plenty of chances to receive higher reward or salary. Especiallyto the young, where they live in the big cities means they can earn more moneythan in the rural area.

Inaddition, as we all know, living in a big city is greatly helping to improvethe quality of life of all families. What is the most important element fortravel or outgoing? Facing this question, I believe the majority prefer toagree with the transportation certainly. A general investigation taken byofficials show that more than ninety of percent people are traveling such asgoing to school and work depending on transportations. Another important reasonfor most people like big cities is excitement and happiness. Form my personalview, I very like to attend some parties such as club or KTV, and think it is anexcellent method to release pressure after a whole day work hard. So I totallybelieve that big cities are so much exciting and attracting for peopleespecially for the young to enjoy their life.

Tosum up, as can be seen from the above analysis, the advantages of living in bigcities are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it. Therefore, Itotally prefer to live in a big city than in a small town.