独立作文-进军美利坚 by zhengping

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

Withthe rapid development of science and technology, people in ever expandingnumber are aware of that the quality of live is becoming more important thanbefore. However, where human beings live in（in去掉） is better for their life and health.这句话读起来有点奇怪啊~~~There is a violent contradictory. Some people （who）prefer to live in a small townmay for fresh air. While others cast doubt on this point, they hold theposition that it is the better to inhabit a big city. As far as I am concerned,I strongly agree with the latter one because people can get amount ofadvantages through living in big cities.

Firstand foremost, it should be obvious that people living in big cities can acquiremany benefits for sure. In the urban area, firstly it can provide advancededucation to all students to learn. There are so much（many） expensive buildings andfancy facilities that感觉这里语法有点混乱many teachers who bear abundant knowledge and information prefer to stay on big cities. I strongly support the idea of dwelling a bigcity for it sure benefits people not only for themselves but also for theiroffsprings. This is that（because） their children can obtain better education in urbanarea than small town. And second, there are so many companies and enterprisesthat people do not difficultly find a suitable job or position. Most of peoplebelieve that big cities representing more money. Because men with good (better and )highereducation can gain plenty of chances to receive higher reward or salary. Especiallyto the young, where they live in the big cities means they can earn more moneythan in the rural area.

Inaddition, as we all know, living in a big city is greatly helping to improvethe quality of life of all families. What is the most important element fortravel or outgoing? Facing this question, I believe the majority prefer toagree with the transportation certainly. A general investigation taken byofficials show that more than ninety of percent people are traveling such asgoing to school and work depending on transportations. Another important reasonfor most people like big cities is excitement and happiness. Form my personalview, I very like to attend some parties such as club or KTV, and think it is anexcellent method to release pressure after a whole day hard work . So I totallybelieve that big cities are so much exciting and attracting for peopleespecially for the young to enjoy their life. 这段很好

Tosum up, as can be seen from the above analysis, the advantages of living in bigcities are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it. Therefore, Itotally prefer to live in a big city than in a small town. / U9 h$ [6 L1 n9 e  U2 B( x. q0 w

文章的逻辑性很强，用词丰富。但是个别地方的语法要注意，有些小错误。结尾略显短了些，建议概括性的重复一下以上的三点理由

zhengping001UID: 2689322

11.5 Some people think that they can learnbetter by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always betterto have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop youressay.

It should be obvious that the teacher is thebest friend to the student. However, there is a violent contradictory. Somepeople think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher,because they believe the practices will make the perfect ultimately. Whileothers cast doubt on this point, they hold the view that it is always better tohave a teacher. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the latter onebecause people can obviously obtain amounts of advantages through learning fromtheir teachers.

First and foremost, with the rapid developmentof science and technology, people in ever expanding number are aware of thatthe role of teachers play in is becoming more important. In a school, as we allknow, the teacher is an indispensable to students because they have abundantprofessional knowledge and information. And then teachers have a lot of own excellentmethods that can help students to study well. For example, teachers can convey sometheories to students in classes with some exciting examples; as a result,compared learning by themselves with studying with help of teachers students canmuch easily gain precious information from the latter one. There is anotherconsiderable element that it is without wasting much time to grasp a course. Forstudents, the best way is that acquire the most learning with the shortesttime. That is why the teacher is significant to the student.

Furthermore, it is undoubted fact that teacherbear plenty of experiences that it may benefits students not only in theirstudy but also on their emotion. During the study career, of course, students mustface many problems or complex situations. However, due to lack experiences, themajority do not know how to deal with these difficult businesses. So it is necessaryto ask for help from their teachers. As a result, generally, teachers canprovide them with some solutions or suggestions to figure out their problems. Orsometimes the teacher as a guider can offers a right or better direction tostudents.

In addition, I strongly support the idea thatteachers can broaden students’ horizon. Teachers cantake advantage of all sorts of resource to provide stages to student to expresstheir idea or thought. Also teachers can give some attract and fancy programsto inspire students to research undiscovered problems or improve creativeability. As can be seen from the above analysis, the advantages of learningfrom teachers are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it.

All in all, from what has been discussed above,learning from teachers people can easier acquire more knowledge andinformation, plenty of experiences and method to figure out problems, and alarge of chances to show themselves. Therefore, we could safely draw theconclusion that it is better to students learning to have a teacher than onlyby themselves.

canlanxingkongUID: 2623477

It should be obvious that the teacher is the best friend to the(去掉) students. However, there is a violent（这个词用的不对，你想说什么意思？） contradictory. Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher, because they believe the practices will make the perfect （consequence,注perfect是形容词）ultimately. While others cast doubt on this point, they hold the view that it is always better to have a teacher. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the latter one because people can obviously obtain amounts of advantages through learning from their teachers.
First and foremost, with the rapid development of science and technology, people in ever expanding number （这个后置定语用的对么，干脆说There are a large number of people）are aware of that the role of teachers play in (去掉)is becoming more important. In a(去掉) school, as we all know, the teacher is an indispensable to students because they have abundant professional knowledge and information. And then teachers have a lot of own excellent methods that can help students to study well. For example, teachers can convey some theories to students in classes with some exciting examples; as a result, (这个例子不充分，没有说到点上，直接就as a result了)compared learning by themselves with studying with help of teachers students can much easily gain precious information from (teachers)the latter one. There is another considerable element that it is without wasting much time to grasp a course(it is without这个句式不对，grasp这个词也不对，换个词). For students, the best way is that acquire (acquiring) the most learning(knowledge) with (within) the shortest time. That is why the teacher is significant to the student.后面的论证和前面的例子和分论点不协调，分论点提的时候要考虑周全
Furthermore, it is the undoubted fact that teacher bear plenty of experiences that it(they) may benefits (benefit)students not only in their study but also on their emotion. During the study career, of course, students must face many problems or complex situations. However, due to lack experiences, themajority( majority of them) do not know how to deal with these difficult businesses. So it is necessary to ask for help from their teachers. As a result, generally, teachers can provide them with some solutions or suggestions to figure out their problems. Or sometimes the teacher as a guider can offers (offer) a right or better direction to students.
In addition, I strongly support the idea that teachers can broaden students’ horizon. Teachers can take advantage of all sorts of resource to provide stages to student to express their idea or thought. Also teachers can give some attract and fancy programsto （to）inspire students to research undiscovered problems or improve creativeability. As can be seen from the above analysis, the advantages of learning from teachers are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it.
All in all, from what has been discussed above, learning from teachers people can easier acquire more knowledge and information, plenty of experiences and method to figure out problems, and alarge of chances to show themselves这句太长了，建议分开写. Therefore, we could safely draw the conclusion that it is better to students （语法错误for students to learn from a teacher）learning to have a teacher than only by themselves.
结构清晰，有些语法上词语上的错误，有些句子过于长，共同努力，加油

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

It should be obvious that the teacher is thebest friend to the student. However, there is a violent contradictory. Somepeople think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher,because they believe the practices will make the perfect这个跟老师貌似没啥关系吧 ultimately. Whileothers cast doubt on this point, they hold the view that it is always better tohave a teacher. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the latter onebecause people can obviously obtain amounts of advantages through learning fromtheir teacher.

First and foremost, with the rapid developmentof science and technology, people in ever expanding number are aware of thatthe role of teachers play in is becoming more important. In a school, as we allknow, the teacher is an indispensable to students because they have abundantprofessional knowledge and information. And then teachers have a lot of own这个不用也行 excellentmethods that can help students to study well. For example, teachers can convey sometheories to students in classes with some exciting examples; as a result,compared learning by themselves with studying with help of teachers students canmuch easily gain precious information from the latter one. There is anotherconsiderable element that it is without这个在这啥作用滴 wasting much time to grasp a course. Forstudents, the best way is that acquire the most learning with the shortesttime. That is why the teacher is significant to the student 例子不错的

Furthermore, it is undoubted fact that teacherbear plenty of experiences that it may benefits students not only in theirstudy but also on their emotion. During the study career, of course, students mustface many problems or complex situations. However, due to lack experiences, themajority do not know how to deal with these difficult businesses. So it is necessaryto ask for help from their teachers. As a result, generally, teachers canprovide them with some solutions or suggestions to figure out their problems. Orsometimes the teacher as a guider can offers a right or better direction tostudents
语言很不错的, 这段说的跟上个没什么区别吧
In addition, I strongly support the idea thatteachers can broaden students’ horizon. Teachers cantake advantage of all sorts of resource to provide stages to student to expresstheir idea or thought. Also teachers can give some attract-->attractive and fancy->确定不是funny么 programsto inspire students to research undiscovered problems or improve creativeability. As can be seen from the above analysis, the advantages of learningfrom teachers are obvious and allow us no excuse to vote against it

l in all, from what has been discussed above,learning from teachers people can easier acquire more knowledge andinformation, plenty of experiences and method to figure out problems, and alarge of chances to show themselves. Therefore, we could safely draw theconclusion that it is better to students learning to have a teacher than onlyby themselves.语言句子都不错的.内容貌似都一致的.内容上再加下就更好了..句子写的很好啊

zhengping001UID: 2689322

11-7
Ingeneral, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon.

Withthe rapid development of science and technology, it should be obvious that mankindis living longer now. There comes the question. What have made people’slifespan becoming longer than in the past? Different people might havedifferent ideas facing this question. As far as I am concerned, I stronglybelieve the perspective that the progress of science and technology is themajor reason to lengthen human beings’ longevity.

Firstand foremost, it is the undoubted fact that the advance of science andtechnology not only improve greatly the quality of people’s life, but alsoresult in the significant breakthrough of the medicine. Let’s take acommonplace as an example. As we all know, many years ago, when if people gotvery minor problems such as cold, flu or fever, they were so much difficult tosee a doctor in time, or find a hospital. That is because of the lack ofmedical facilities and the inadequate number of doctors. In contract, with therapid development of economy, nowadays, there are building many hospitals andhealth centers in not only all big cities but also many small towns. Thus,people can much easy get the help of doctors if they indeed need it. Furthermore,a new survey taken by official indicates that the average longevity of humanbrings already had more eighty-five years in two thousand eight, while thatwere around forty years in twenty years ago. Therefore, we can believe that dueto the progress of science and technology people’s lifespan are greatlylengthened.

Inaddition, there are many other factors that have a positive effect to lengthenpeople’s lifespan. One is that the habitation or existence condition also playsan important role in people life. Let’s take a small town in southeastern of China as anexample. The government was not aware of or little concerned the importance ofthe environment. In order to improve the city’s economy, many chemicalfactories and enterprises were introduced and built at some urban areas. However,these factories caused great harm to people’s health by poisonous gas and watereveryday. Thus, many people were early died or got terrible diseases on accountof the poisoned environment. Therefore, the effect of the environment shouldnot be ignored. Another factor is that the view of self-protecting. With the developmentof education, people in ever expanding number are mention of their view ofprotecting health. There are many methods helping people how to prevent themfrom danger. As can be seen from the above analysis, the habitation and theview of self-protecting also are positive effect to lengthen people’s lifespan.

All inall, from what has been discussed above, we could believe that the progress ofscience and technology, the habitation or environment and the view of self-protectingare playing a dispensable role to lengthen people’s lifespan or health.

paddyhyUID: 202095

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon.

With the rapid development of science and technology, it should be obvious that mankind is living longer now. There comes the question. What have made people’s lifespan becoming longer than in the past? Different people might have different ideas facing this question. As far as I am concerned, I strongly believe the perspective that the progress of science and technology is the major reason to lengthen human beings’ longevity.
楼主写作功底相当强悍啦。。佩服。。第一段就能打5分以上啊。。
First and foremost, it is the undoubted fact that the advance of science and technology not only improve greatly the quality of people’s life, but also result in 这个换个好听一点的词。。导致是不是不太好。。 the significant breakthrough of the medicine. Let’s take a commonplace as an example. As we all know, many years ago, when if people got very minor problems such as cold, flu or fever, they were so much difficult to see a doctor in time, or find a hospital. That is because of the lack of medical facilities and the inadequate number of doctors. In contract, with the rapid development of economy, nowadays, there are building many hospitals不顺呢 and health centers in not only all big cities but also many small towns. Thus, people can much easy get the help of doctors if they indeed need it. Furthermore, a new survey taken by official indicates that the average longevity of human brings already had more eighty-five years in two thousand eight, while that were around forty years in twenty years ago. Therefore, we can believe that due to the progress of science and technology people’s lifespan are greatly lengthened.

In addition, there are many other factors that have a positive effect to lengthen people’s lifespan. One is that the habitation or existence condition also plays an important role in people life. Let’s take a small town in southeastern of China as an example. The government was not aware of or little concerned the importance of the environment. In order to improve the city’s economy, many chemical factories and enterprises were introduced and built at some urban areas. However, these factories caused great harm to people’s health by poisonous gas and water everyday. Thus, many people were early died or got terrible diseases on account of the poisoned environment. Therefore, the effect of the environment should not be ignored. Another factor is that the view of self-protecting. With the development of education, people in ever expanding number are mention of their view of protecting health. 好像说的有点别扭
There are many methods helping people how to prevent them from danger. As can be seen from the above analysis, the habitation and the view of self-protecting also are positive effect to lengthen people’s lifespan.

All in all, from what has been discussed above, we could believe that the progress of science and technology, the habitation or environment and the view of self-protecting are playing a dispensable role to lengthen people’s lifespan or health.

看完觉得写得挺好的。。看来你平时写作文很厉害。。唯一感觉就是有的用法其实不常用所以会不会起到反效果呢。。拙见。。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

11.11 Governments should focus more on natural environmentproblems and less on economic developments.
With the advent of 21 century, governments should haveto face so many complicated problems, including natural environment problemsand economic developments. There comes the question that governments shouldfocus more on natural environment problems or economic developments. Differentpeople have different points. As far as I am concerned, I strongly believe thatthey should spend more resource to protect natural environment than improveeconomic developments, because the former is the more crucial to human beingsat present.

First and foremost, it should be obvious that to protectour natural environment from dangers such as air and water pollution and itgreatly benefits human beings not only at the present but also in the future.There is a question. What is the most important to people or to offspring inthe future? Most of people will choose health because it is basic and necessaryto everyone. And then the quality of environment can greatly affects the healthof people. Let’s take a small town in the southeast of China as anexample. Many years ago, in order to improve the economic development, thelocal government adopted many tactics to appeal some firms and factories. Aftera few years about building some chemical factories in the urban area, the localsuffered from some weird diseases, although the development of economy had beenimproved. So we can safely draw the point that the natural environment is moreimportant to the human comparing to economic development

In addition, as we all know, with the development ofscience and technology, the natural environment is significant not only forhuman beings but also to animal. Let’s take the tiger as an example. There is littledoubted that the tiger is one of the extinct precious animals. The major reasonis that they are suffered from the influence of the nonviable existence conditionsaffected by the human. Facing the situation, governments firstly should beaware of the significant of the natural environment, and then take somesuggestions to protect it. If governments not focus on the natural environment,so many precious animals cannot exist at this world.

In conclusion, from what had discussed above, we cansafely draw the conclusion that governments should spend more energy and lobarresource to protect the natural environment under the occasional circumstance.

zhengping001UID: 2689322

自己之前修改过，原始作文不好意思让大家改。

soarer0474UID: 2665789

11.11 Governments should focus more on natural environmentproblems and less on economic developments.
With the advent of 21 century, governments should have to(should 和 have to重了) face so many complicated problems, including natural environment problems and economic developments. There comes the question that governments should focus more on natural environment problems or economic developments（这两个词出现太多了，考虑替换）. Different people have different points. As far as I am concerned, I strongly believe that they should spend more resource to protect natural environment than improve economic developments, because the former is the more crucial to human beings at present.
First and foremost, it should be obvious that （这个should be obvious说的有问题啊）to protect our natural environment from dangers such as air and water pollution（that后从句不完整） and it greatly benefits human beings not only at the present but also in the future. There is a question. What is the most important to people or to offsprings in the future? Most of people will choose health because it is basic and necessary to everyone. And then the quality of environment can greatly affects the health of people. Let’s take a small town in the southeast of China as an example. Many years ago, in order to improve the economic development, the local government adopted many tactics to appeal some firms and factories. After a few years about building some chemical factories in the urban area, the local suffered from some weird diseases, although the development of economy had been improved. So we can safely draw the point that the natural environment is moreimportant to the human comparing to economic development $ n* H, E, _( x  k( H  P' e/ Q

. ?1 `. Z3 w. D9 ~# c0 E$ sIn addition, as we all know, with the development of science and technology, the natural environment is significant not only for human beings but also to animal. Let’s take the tiger as an example. There is little doubted that the tiger is one of the extinct precious animals. The major reasoni s that they are suffered from the influence of the nonviable existence conditions affected by the human. Facing the situation, governments firstly should be aware of the significant（significance） of the natural environment, and then take some suggestions to protect it. If governments not focus on the natural environment,so many precious animals cannot exist at this world. 5 G5 m! D# Z# E  N

- d. f( d% r' c7 d+ AIn conclusion, from what had discussed above, we cansafely draw the conclusion （前面用过 了，这里是不是找个句式替换一下）that governments should spend more energy and lobarresource to protect the natural environment under the occasional circumstance

zhengping001UID: 2689322

11.14创意（being creative）是否比计划（planning carefully）更能find the best solution to aproblem。
Just imagine thatif people can not make a careful plan to help him to deal with his problems,what will happen? Some people believe that possessing creativity to everyonehas more advantages than having a good plan. However, each coin has tow sides;others think that it is always better to have an excellent plan. As far as I amconcerned, I strongly agree with the latter one. All of common people can receiveamount of benefits through making a comprehensive and precise scheme.

First andforemost, when face a problem; it should be obvious that people can avoidmaking a lot of mistakes if before they can make a plan around the problem. Especiallyfacing a complicated trouble, most of people may do not know how to face anduse what methods to figure out it. Let’s take my friend Jon as an example. He oncewas a student at the Hunan University, which had greatfamous reputation. He was about to find job after finishing all his courses,but he told me that he had much pressure from it. He made a lot of mistakeswhen he went to find jobs. By far, he was not employed by any company. Becausehe had not any plan to look for position. A new nationwide investigation takenby experts indicates that more than 70 percent of college students do not makea plan to study career. Therefore, once encounter to any setback, it is notsurprise that around 80 percent of people will make more or less mistakes, nomention to do effectively treat with it in time.

In addition, of course,there is little doubt that it really can help people to save much time andenergy planning carefully. As we all know, in order to finish a project orovercome a problem, to the majority of people the best solution is takingshortest time and lowest resource. Let’s take a chemical program in my paper asan example. This was happened on March at this year. After when I accepted itfrom my teacher, I had made an excellent scheme immediately. After make a seriesof experiment, as a result just I spent only one month to finish the program. Therefore,it really helps me save much time. That is good evidence to show thatprocessing a plan can help us to save time.

All in all, fromwhat has been discussed above, it should be obvious that having a carefulscheme can benefit people not only to avoid mistakes, but also to save muchtime and resource. Therefore, we can safely draw the conclusive that carefullyplanning is better than being creative.

zhengping001UID: 2689322

11.18 不同兴趣,人格的人能不能做朋友?
Aswe all know, friends are very important to everyone, but most of people do notclear about which style is becoming friend. With the rapid development ofscience and technology, people in ever expanding number are aware of the importanceof making friends. There comes the question that whether or not people aremaking friends with some who have the different personality and interest. Differentpeople have different points. Some of people think that it is sure to able tomake different friends with possessing various personalities. While others donot believe it, they hold that it is impossible to become friends without thecommon interest or personality. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree withthe latter one. Detail explanations supporting my point are as follows.
Firstand foremost, to all most of people, it is incredible that people are willingto find some new friends with different quality. In order to gain help of studyor receive necessary of working, the majority of people are willing to communicatewith others with the same point or idea. Let’s take myself as an example. I ama student in Jixing Normal University.Even though I have a lot of classmates, I have few good friends because I donot find the same interesting with them. Because I am crazy about playingbasketball, so I would like to make friend with who’s like it too. Thus, I canhave a good time when talk with them.
Inaddition, to be a good friend for each other, the most first thing is that theyshould have the same qualities. A new survey taken by psychological expertsshows that more than 95 percent of people are willing to contact with whosewith common places. That is good considerable evidence to indicate that peoplehardly become friends without same personality.
Allin all, from what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusionthat people only can make friends with who possesses the same interesting and personality.

soarer0474UID: 2665789

11.18 不同兴趣,人格的人能不能做朋友?
As we all know, friends are very important to everyone, but most of people do not clear about which style is becoming? friend. With the rapid development of science and technology, people in ever expanding number are aware of the importance of making friends. There comes the question that whether or not people are making friends with some who have the different personality and interest(这个有问题吧，不是“是不是正在的问题”，是能不能的问题). Different people have different points. Some of去掉 people think that it is sure to be able to make different（去掉） friends with（去掉） possessing various personalities. While others do not believe it,（这个分局应该归前面的句子） they hold that it is impossible to become friends without the common interest or personality. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the latter one. Detail explanations supporting my point are as follows.; f2 g8 C7 @7 X( n" S3 A
First and foremost, to all most of （all 、most of取其一）people, it is incredible that people are willing to find some new friends with different quality. In order to gain help of study or receive necessary of working, the majority of people are willing to communicate with others with the same point or idea. Let’s take myself as an example. I am a student in Jixing Normal University .Even though I have a lot of classmates, I have few good friends in my class because I do not find the same interesting with them. Because去掉 I am crazy about playing basketball, so I would like to make friend with who’s like it too.（前面两句说的有点不太好，修改一下，例子还不错） Thus,？n have a good time when talk with them.; q- K$ z1 E% D, l6 e; Z$ i
In addition, to be a good friend for each other, the most first thing is that they should have the same qualities. A new survey taken by psychological experts shows that more than 95 percent of people are willing to contact with whose with common places. That is a good considerable evidence to indicate that people hardly become friends without same personality. 1 ?9 i# s( \4 W: |$ ~
in all, from what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that people only can make friends with who possesses the same interesting and personality

整体用词还不错，尤其性格特点quality, personality, place 这几个词都用了，呵呵，不错
结构有问题，两个中间的分论点不够充实，逻辑结构不太好。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

这次又超时了10分钟，这10分钟很难克服掉。

11.19Do you agree ordisagree that: spend time alone is the truly best way to relax the stress.

In recently yeas, there is an astonishing proportion of people whofeel bored and tired, because of more and more stress from limited works and alarge of problems. Facing this situation, people should know how they release thosepressures. Different people have different points. Some believe that to spendtime alone is the truly best way to reduce the pressure. However, other totallydisagree with the idea, because there are many methods to help people free and comfortable,such as playing sports, traveling and so on. As far as I am concerned, Istrongly agree with the latter one, because it is more reasonable than theformer.

First and foremost, it is little doubted that some few people wouldlike to spend time alone. For the majority of people, they are more willing tospend time with family or friends, because they will have a good time after awhole day of hard work. Let’s take myself as an example. I am an excellentstudent, with a lot of hobbies and friends. Although I have an opening personality,sometimes I surely feel unhappy or bored to study. I dislike choosing to killtime alone, because I know that I will feel worse if I am alone. I would liketo play or talk with my friends or family, because that I can gain more happiness.Thus, communicating with others or playing together with classmates or friends isreally can help people to relax; at least I will feel free.

In addition, with the rapid development of science and technology,the pressure surely has harmful increasing effects on people lives and works. Peoplehave many measures to balance status and limit stress, not merely to be alone. Anew survey taken by experts indicates that more than 95 percent people are incliningthe following methods to relax, including climbing mountains, communicatingwith others, playing sports with friends, and watching movies with family andso on. A few of people are willing to spend time alone. On the other hand,others could give some useful and reasonable solutions, and they also couldfigure out some problems for those with stress.

All in all, from what has been discussed above, there are so manybetter methods to relax, not merely spending time alone. Therefore, we couldsafely draw the conclusion that people are more willing to other ways to feelfree than spend time alone.

soarer0474UID: 2665789

11.19Do you agree ordisagree that: spend time alone is the truly best way to relax the stress.1 {  U:

In recently yeas, there is an astonishing proportion of people who feel bored and tired, because of more and more stress from unlimited works and a large of problems. Facing this situation, people should know how they去掉to release thos epressures. Different people have different points. Some believe that to spend time alone is the truly best way to reduce the pressure. However, other totally disagree with the idea, because there are many methods to help people free and comfortable, such as playing sports, traveling and so on(运动和锻炼并不意味着不是独处，比如一个人也可以去旅游). As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the latter one, because it is more reasonable than the former.9 h" X* x6 @$ r! ^8 t3 o4 aFirst and foremost, it is little doubted that some few people would like to spend time alone. For the majority of people, they are more willing to spend time with family or friends, because they will have a good time after a whole day of hard work. Let’s take myself as an example. I am an excellentstudent, with a lot of hobbies and friends. Although I have an opening personality（open personality）, sometimes I surely feel unhappy or bored to study. I dislike choosing to kill time alone, because I know that I will feel worse if I am alone. I would like to play or talk with my friends or family, because that I can gain more happiness.Thus, communicating with others or playing together with classmates or friends is去掉really can help people to relax; at least I will feel free（这个不太好）. In addition, with the rapid development of science and technology,the pressure surely has harmful increasing effects on people lives and works. People have many measures to balance status and limit stress, not merely to be alone. A new survey taken by experts indicates that more than 95 percent people are inclining the following methods to relax, including climbing mountains, communicatingwith others, playing sports with friends, and watching movies with family andso on. A few of people are willing to spend time alone. On the other hand,others could give some useful and reasonable solutions, and they also could figure out some problems for those with stress. ; C1 Q( P# W- E8 ZAll in all, from what has been discussed above, there are so many better methods to relax, not merely spending time alone. Therefore, we could safely draw the conclusion that people are more willing to other ways to feelfree than spend time alone
最大的问题就是逻辑有问题。
首先独处并不代表不去运动，运动也可以一个人
其次很多人不喜欢独处并不代表独处不是一种减压的好方式，所以适当注意审题
另外第一段语言不太凝练，不要为了凑字数故意写的多了
语法问题倒是不怎么多，继续保持，同努力
接受批评，刚才又看了看，又发现三处问题

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

In recently yeas, there is an astonishing proportion of people who feel bored and tired, because of more and more stress from limited works and alarge of problems. Facing this situation, people should know how they release thosepressures. Different people have different points. Some believe that to spendtime alone is the truly best way to reduce the pressure. However, other totally disagree with the idea, because there are many methods to help（bring） people sense of free and comfortable,such as playing sports, traveling and so on. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the latter one, because it is more reasonable than the former.

First and foremost, it is little doubted that some few people would like to spend time alone. For the majority of people, they are more willing to spend time with family(ies) or friends, because they will have a good time after a whole day of hard work. Let’s take myself as an example. I am an excellent student, with a lot of hobbies and friends. Although I have an opening personality,sometimes I surely feel unhappy or bored to study. I dislike choosing to killtime alone, because I know that I will feel worse if I am alone. I would like to play or talk with my friends or family, because by that way I can gain more happiness.Thus, communicating with others or playing together with classmates or friends (is去掉) really can help people to relax; at least I will feel free.

In addition, with the rapid development of science and technology,the pressure surely has harmful increasing effects on people lives and works. Peoplehave many measures to balance status and limit stress, not merely to be alone. Anew survey taken by experts indicates that more than 95 percent people are inclining to the following methods to relax, including climbing mountains, communicating with others, playing sports with friends, and watching movies with family and so on. A few of people are willing to spend time alone. On the other hand,others could give some useful and reasonable solutions, and they also couldfigure out some problems for those with stress. 这段的论证重点有点偏~~~应该强调与他人共处能更好的消灭压力，而不是举例说明缓解压力的方式。

All in all, from what has been discussed above, there are so many better methods to relax, not merely spending time alone. Therefore, we couldsafely draw the conclusion that people are more willing to other ways to feel free than spend time alone.

总评：写得很流畅，微微有点语法错误。个人感觉你的论点不是特别鲜明~~我明白你的思路，是通过说明还有其他的解压方式，所以独自面对压力不好。但是总觉得这样论述不太深，建议你稍稍改一下第二个分论点，说得再明确一点，独自面对压力哪里不好，和别人一起哪里好~~~~写的不错哈，思路还是很清晰的~~~~
平的有点晚了，不好意思哈