10.10

LRXSSUID: 2695903

Recently, with the rapid development of the computer and internet, those computer games are becoming more and more prevalent among children. So there is a general controversy on whether it is a waste of time for children to play computer games. In my perspective, however, the view is too prejudiced.
To begin with, playing computer games is a way to relax in modern society. Instead of traditional sports or just sleeping in bed, computer games have given us a completely different way to enjoy ourselves. When getting tired of routine work or repeated study, we can turn to computer games to get our lost ambitious back. For instance, I was used to playing red alert when I felt worn out with my lessons. When I was succeeded in defeating my enemies, I was so proud and I had some sort of feeing that I could finish anything perfectly. So, the game can help me regain some power to go on with my study.
Secondly, computer games have been recognized as a new class of competitive sports.
In that case, they have been acknowledged by the world. Those players who can master a certain kind of game magnificently are always admired as superior person. We can also gain some honors if you can play it very well. For instance, li xiaofeng, who has won the world championship on WOW for two times, is regarded as our national hero. Meanwhile, he has proved to the rest of the world that we Chinese can be the best one on the issue of computer games. So, it is the very example that playing computer games is meaningful and we may achieve some incredible achievements.
To sum up, simply saying that it is a waste of time to play computer games is not receivable. As illustrated above, there are a couple of reasons to demonstrate that playing computer games does have benefited us to a certain extent.

fish1044UID: 2190500

Recently(这个不需要吧), with the rapid development of the computer and internet, those computer games are becoming more and more prevalent among children. So there is a general controversy on whether it is a waste of time for children to play computer games. In my perspective, however, the view is too prejudiced.
（开头很精彩，简单明了，我要学习一下）

     To begin with, playing computer games is a way to relax in modern society. Instead of traditional sports or just sleeping in bed, computer games have given us a completely different way to enjoy ourselves. When getting tired of routine work or repeated study, we can turn to computer games to get our lost ambitious back. For instance, I was used to playing red alert when I felt worn out with my lessons. When I was succeeded in defeating my enemies, I was so proud and I had some sort of feeing that I could finish anything perfectly.（太多I了，其实主语可以多换换） So, the game can help me regain some power to go on with my study.

    Secondly, computer games have been recognized as a new class of competitive sports. In that case（个人觉得这里用Ever since then就可以了）, they have been acknowledged by the world. Those players who can master a certain kind of game magnificently are always admired as superior person. We can also gain some honors if you can play it very well. For instance, li xiaofeng, who has won the world championship on WOW for two times(twice), is regarded as our national hero. Meanwhile, he has proved to the rest of the world that we Chinese can be the best one on the issue of computer games. So, it is the very example that playing computer games is meaningful and we may achieve some incredible achievements.

    To sum up, simply saying that it is a waste of time to play computer games is not receivable. As illustrated above, there are a couple of reasons to demonstrate that playing computer games does have benefited us to a certain extent.

文章的结构很好，开头结尾都很精彩。
但是中间论述部分有点含糊，观点不太明确。（或者是我没有看出来）
我觉得你的优点正是我缺少的东西，向你学习哈。