argument15 希望有人可以指点我的argu，貌似有点瓶颈了

cuiwen_09UID: 2661472

TOPIC: ARGUMENT15 - The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.

"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."

1，调查问题，调查对象可能不代表本公司消费者的情况
2，还有很多其他因素会影响到消费者的消费行为
3，即使真的消费者会减少高脂肪、高胆固醇食品的消费，利润也不一定减少

In the newsletter the author recommends the Old Daily (OD) stockholders to sell the stocks and other investors not to buy stocks of the company since the company's profits will decrease as he or she asserts. However, the evidences cited by the author fail to support the conclusion.

Firstly, the diet desire showed by the recent survey may not represent the general consumers’ of OD. There is no concrete information concerning how the survey sampled mentioned in the newsletter. Perhaps people inclined to pay much attention to diet health are more likely to respond the survey and most of them did not buy products of Old Daily before. And on the contrary the consumers of OD did not have the desire to reduce their intake fat and cholesterol. In this case, the survey result served as the major evidence in the newsletter fails to substantiate the assumption that the demand of products of OD will decrease.

Moreover, even though the survey result really reflects the desire of the OD’s consumers, it is still insufficient to predict the future food-purchasing behavior. After all there are many other factors one would take into consideration when purchasing food, such as the taste, the grand and so forth. While consumers were becoming more concerned about the health of food, taste may still be the first significant factor. They may still purchase products of OD for the delicious taste regardless of the high-fat and high-cholesterol contained. Or perhaps as a famous and traditional grand, consumers have more confidence in the quality and safety of the products and will continue to choose the grand. In short, without providing the information that the low-fat and low-cholesterol has became the most significant factor than taste and grand when choosing food, the author fails to convince me that the sale of OD’s high-fat and high-cholesterol food will decrease.

Furthermore, even assumption that the sale of low-fat food is on the rise while demand for
high-fat food is diminishing, it still unnecessary indicate that the Old Daily company will lose profits. After all the Old Daily Company also could produce the low-fat product and it may be also successful as producing the high-fat food. Since consumers were familiar with the grand and have approve the quality and safety of food produces by the company. Consumers may prefer to buy low-fat food of the company than others’. In addition, since OD is successful in the past, perhaps it had its secret method to make delicious food or have more effective management method, which may help gain profits again for
the company
in the low-fat food market as before.

In short, the author fails to persuasively prove the prediction that the profits of Old Daily Industry will decrease. To better evaluate the stocks of the company the author should provide more concrete information to predict the future consume trend of consumers and figure out whether the company have the capability to change its product strategy to face with the future possible changes.

argu写的很多篇了，不过现在不太知道怎么可以提高了。自己的语言和词汇确实不好，正在努力，可是觉得一个月内提高可能有限。
找错误觉得也不会比别人高明很多，是不是应该在说明的时候说的具体一些比较好呢？
而且对于开头和结尾的写法觉得很普通，不知道怎么样可能写的更好写些呢？
如果能有人帮我解答就太感谢了~

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

这篇argue题的逻辑链是通过调查推出消费者就不爱买高脂肪食品，从而再推出生产高脂肪食品的公司会亏损，再叫人们采取卖股票什么的行动。
写作之前先分析逻辑，不要盲目下笔，胡乱攻击几点完事。
只有找出逻辑，从根上层层攻击，才具有说服力。
因此lz的12点其实合并起来就是一点，即第一点，调查不能代表高脂肪食品就没市场
后面还要说即使高脂肪食品就没市场也不代表生产这些的公司会亏损，更不代表要立即采取行动卖股票什么的

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

找错误正是要比别人高明许多的地方，lz的观念要修正一下。逻辑为最重，无论是举反例还是说明，都牢牢依附逻辑错误找的准，因此多思考题目才是王道。
开头结尾普通点完全没关系，多看题目吧。同时多练习语言，注意语法和表意流畅

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

firstly 陈词滥调批survey太多，food store没提，展开不到点子上。主题句也限制了题目，题目先说的是这种情况代表整体消费者情况，再推到整体对高脂肪食品的消费减少od的销量会下降，你直接认为是od的consumer群缩小，然后前两段主题句都围绕这个写，比较不利。这一点改一下可以好很多，展开可以保留用。
futhermore那段抓到点了
总体来说，你argue写的比issue好，继续努力！