1006G[REBORN FROM THE ASHES组]备考日记 by 中原527--战胜自己

中原527UID：2707367

中耳炎疼了3天，今天下午刚打完针...
亲耐的爹妈和弟弟跑出去亲密聚餐把我落下了...
好吧，怪我自己没带手机俺妈在医院里找我找了半天最后放弃...

中原527UID：2707367

下午上东坡他老人家充满传奇而坎坷的一生
课间抽空看了已打印出来的草木第七讲段落TS和逻辑顺序标志词

中原527UID：2707367

Topic Sentences and Signposting

本文绿色是本人理解
红色是不理解之处~~~


Topic sentences and signposts make an essay's claims clear to a reader. Good essays contain both. Topic sentences
reveal the main point of a paragraph. They show the relationship of each paragraph to the essay's thesis, telegraph the point of a paragraph, and tell your reader what to expect in the paragraph that follows. Topic sentences also establish their relevance（n.中肯，适当） right away, making clear why the points they're making are important to the essay's main ideas. They argue rather than report（辨析比陈述重要）. Signposts, as their name suggests, prepare the reader for a change in the argument's direction.（重要转折点） They show how far the essay's argument has progressed vis-ˆ-vis（这是啥，乱码？） the claims of the thesis.



Topic sentences and signposts occupy a middle ground in the writing process. They are neither the first thing a writer needs to address (thesis and the broad strokes of an essay's structure are); nor are they the last (that's when you attend to sentence-level editing and polishing). Topic sentences and signposts deliver（v.陈述） an essay's structure and meaning to a reader, so they are useful diagnostic tools to the writer—they let you know if your thesis is arguable—and essential guides to the reader.

Forms of Topic Sentences

Sometimes topic sentences are actually two or even three sentences long. If the first makes a claim, the second might reflect on that claim（这两句有什么区别吗？）, explaining it further. （第一句表明一个主张，第二句可能反映主张，在就是进一步的解释了）Think of these sentences as asking and answering two critical questions: How does the phenomenon you're discussing operate? Why does it operate as it does? 这两句看得不是很懂….

There's no set formula for writing a topic sentence. Rather, you should work to vary the form your topic sentences take. Repeated too often, any method grows wearisome. Here are a few approaches.

１．Complex sentences.
Topic sentences at the beginning of a paragraph frequently combine with a transition from the previous paragraph. This might be done by writing a sentence that contains both subordinate（a.次要的n.下属v.服从） and independent clauses, as in the example below.（利用复合句，联系上下文的作用）


Although Young Woman with a Water Pitcher depicts an unknown, middle-class woman at an ordinary task, the image is more than "realistic"; the painter [Vermeer] has imposed his own order upon it to strengthen it.


This sentence employs a useful principle of transitions: always move from old to new information.
The subordinate clause (from "although" to "task") recaps information from previous paragraphs; the independent clauses (starting with "the image" and "the painter") introduce the new information—a claim about how the image works ("more than Ôrealistic'") and why it works as it does (Vermeer "strengthens" the image by "imposing order").


２．Questions.
（提问）Questions, sometimes in pairs, also make good topic sentences (and signposts).
Consider the following: "Does the promise of stability justify this unchanging hierarchy?" We may fairly assume that the paragraph or section that follows will answer the question. Questions are by definition a form of inquiry, and thus demand an answer. Good essays strive for this forward momentum.

３．Bridge sentences.
Like questions, "bridge sentences" (the term is John Trimble's) make an excellent substitute for more formal topic sentences. Bridge sentences indicate both what came before and what comes next (they "bridge" paragraphs) without the formal trappings of multiple clauses: "But there is a clue to this puzzle."


４．Pivots（n.中枢，核心）.
Topic sentences don't always appear at the beginning of a paragraph. When they come in the middle, they indicate that the paragraph will change direction, or "pivot." This strategy is particularly useful for dealing with counter-evidence: a paragraph starts out conceding a point or stating a fact ("Psychologist Sharon Hymer uses the term Ônarcissistic friendship' to describe the early stage of a friendship like the one between Celie and Shug"); after following up on this initial statement with evidence, it then reverses direction and establishes a claim ("Yet ... this narcissistic stage of Celie and Shug's relationship is merely a transitory one. Hymer herself concedes . . . "). The pivot always needs a signal, a word like "but," "yet," or "however," or a longer phrase or sentence that indicates an about-face. It often needs more than one sentence to make its point.

Signposts

Signposts operate as topic sentences for whole sections in an essay. (In longer essays, sections often contain more than a single paragraph.) They inform a reader that the essay is taking a turn in its argument: delving into a related topic such as a counter-argument, stepping up its claims with a complication, or pausing to give essential historical or scholarly background. Because they reveal the architecture of the essay itself, signposts remind readers of what the essay's stakes are: what it's about, and why it's being written.


Signposting can be accomplished in a sentence
or two at the beginning of a paragraph or in whole paragraphs that serve as transitions between one part of the argument and the next. The following example comes from an essay examining how a painting by Monet, The Gare Saint-Lazare: Arrival of a Train, challenges Zola's declarations about Impressionist art. The student writer wonders whether Monet's Impressionism is really as devoted to avoiding "ideas" in favor of direct sense impressions as Zola's claims would seem to suggest. This is the start of the essay's third section:


It is evident in this painting that Monet found his Gare Saint-Lazare motif fascinating at the most fundamental level of the play of light as well as the loftiest level of social relevance. Arrival of a Train explores both extremes of expression. At the fundamental extreme, Monet satisfies the Impressionist objective of capturing the full-spectrum effects of light on a scene.

The writer signposts this section in the first sentence, reminding readers of the stakes of the essay itself with the simultaneous references to sense impression ("play of light") and intellectual content ("social relevance"). The second sentence follows up on this idea, while the third serves as a topic sentence for the paragraph. The paragraph after that starts off with a topic sentence about the "cultural message" of the painting, something that the signposting sentence predicts by not only reminding readers of the essay's stakes but also, and quite clearly, indicating what the section itself will contain.

中原527UID：2707367

5分样文
Specialists are not overrated today. More generalists may be needed, but not to overshadow the specialists. Generalists can provide a great deal of information on many topics of interest with a broad range of ideas. People who look at the overall view of things can help with some of the large problems our society faces today. But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things.

One good example of why specialists are not overrated is in the medical field. Doctors are necessary for people to live healthy lives. When a person is sick, he may go to a general practitioner to find out the cause of his problems. Usually, this kind of "generalized" doctor can help most ailments with simple and effective treatments. Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments don't work the way they should. When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed as a disease that requires more care than a family doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalization may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. Since a family doctor has a great deal of knowledge of medicine, he can decide when his methods are not effective and the patient needs to see someone who knows more about the specific problem; someone who knows how it begins, progresses, and specified treatments. This is an excellent example of how a generalied person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specialized one can.

Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching. In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithematic. But as children get older and progress in school, they gain a better understanding of the language and mathematical processes. As the years in school increase, they need to learn more and more specifics and details about various subjects. They start out by learning basic math concepts such as addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. A few years later, they are ready to begin algebraic concepts, geometry, and calculus. They are also ready to learn more advanced vocabulary, the principles of how all life is composed and how it functions. One teacher or professor can not provide as much in depth discussion on all of these topics as well as one who has learned the specifics and studied mainly to know everything that is currently known about one of these subjects. Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and finding out new facts on the old ones.

These are only two examples of why specialists are not highly overrated and more generalists are not necessary to the point of overshadowing them. Generalists are needed to give the public a broad understanding of some things. But , specialists are important to help maintain the status, health, and safety of our society. Specialists are very necessary.
5分评语：
这位作者通过讨论全才和专才的需要表现出对复杂话题的优秀分析能力。
这个观点主要建立在两个深度例子上，第一个例子从对医药全才和专才的必要性来开展讨论，然后过渡到另外一个例子（呼吸问题以及哮喘专家的必要性）。这个从抽象到具体的延展，为下一段做了铺垫。那一段，讨论主要集中于从小学到高中的教育，从基础数学到微积分。
这些流畅的表达是得益于适当的过渡词比如“but”,“usually”,and“ for instance”，最后以重复作者主题以结束全文。
虽然作者也很好地运用了语言和语法，但有几个小失误，让这篇理论清晰的文章掉出6分的档次。这个问题从于代名词的缺少（当病被加重和确诊时。。。。他可能需要向专家咨询）到在并列结构上的错误（它什么时候开始，进展和具体治疗手段），到松散的解构和不精确的语言（全面性的老师需要从小塑造一个学生，因为他们能够为将来吸收更多的关于基础课程的知识而做准备。）
4分以下样文大概看了一下
低分的理由无非就是两点
1.例子不恰当，或者没有合理的推理和说服力
2．句子结构简单或错误比较多
ARGUMENT分析写作
了解阿狗
阿狗主要考察你对阿狗的理解，分析和评估还有条理性地在写作中陈列你的分析的能力，这个任务主要包括一个简要的文章，作者通过列出有力的推理和证据来详述这些活动的理由和项目的说明。你的任务是通过批判性地检查文章所列出的理由和证据来讨论作者合理的观点。这个任务需要你仔细阅读阿狗。你可能会至少读一遍以上，然后可能列出大概的关于你在文章中所想充分阐述的观点的草稿。在阅读阿狗时，你需要特别关注：
•本文提供了什么作为证据和支持
•什么是文中明确阐述或总结出来的
•什么是可能没有经过合理推论出来的假设
•什么是文中没有说明的，但可以从它的文中推断出来的（这句话瞧着别扭…）
还有，你应该考虑阿狗的结构，即通过一系列合理推断把各个元素连接起来的途径。你需要认识到个别的，在思考过程中的一些怀疑的步骤（不知道怎么说…），考虑每个步骤是否合理。在追踪线索时，寻找那些能表明作者尝试着做一个逻辑连接的连接词或词组。（如但是，因此，显然，总的来说）
在阿狗里最重要的一部分是记住你没有被需要去做什么，你也不需讨论阿狗里面的陈述是否真实或精确。相反的是，你需要从陈述里总结出来的结论和推论是否合理。你不需要同意或不同意已明确的立场。你也不需要在有关被讨论的话题中表达你自己的观点（这是当你在ISSUE的时候）相反的是，你需要评价作者所提出的合理观点，以及论证批判性的思考，有合理的解释以及分析写作技巧，它们是大学教师所认为对研究生院非常重要的成功因素。阿狗，最主要的是辨析思考性写作，因此，在你批评写作中体现你的分析技巧决定你的分数。
了解写作背景：目的和读者
此写作的目的是观察你是怎样作出深刻分析他人所提出的观点来有效地向学院观众来传达你在文章中的辨析思维。你的读者是经受过作为能够运用阿狗评判标准（第28页）的GRE考官大学或学院教师。
为了更加了解GRE考官是如何运用这些阿狗评分标准去评价文章，你应该重读这些阿狗样文及考官评语。尤其是5到6分的样文，会向你展示对组织结构和阐述深刻的辨析的丰富而成功的策略。你会看到许多充分利用语言的例子。考官评语主要讨论分析写作的特别之处，比如深刻的思想，陈述及支持，文章结构，丰富句式以及纯熟的语言。这些评语会指出在分析写作中一些方面，尤其是有效性和深刻性，更重要的是一些影响整体文章有效性的缺点。
准备阿狗
因为阿狗任务是主要考察你经过教育后所培养出来的分析写作和合理推断能力，所以它不会被设置为需要一些特别课程的研究或者受过特别训练的有着有利条件的学生。许多关于写作的的大学教科书都有关于可能被证明为有实用的自由逻辑辨析思考教程，但即使这些可能比考试所要求的更加细节和专业化（detailed and technical）。你也不被需要知道分析方法或者专门术语。举例，一个话题，是关于小学校长可能认为增加新的运动设施可能会提高学生的出席率，因为学生的缺席率因这措施被执行以来有所降低。你不需要注意校长新添了哪些措施（the principal has committed the post hoc, ergo proper hoc fallacy），你需要简单地注意下对于出席率的提高有其他可能的假设，通过提供一些常识的例子，可能要提出修改此结论的必要。举例，缺席率的降低可能是因为适宜的天气。这些可能是为了证实校长的言论而被排除了。（This would have to be ruled in order for the principal’s conclusion to be valid.）
尽管你不需要知道具体的分析技巧和术语，你应该熟悉阿狗任务的指导和一些关键的概念，包括如下：
•可取代的解释：一个可能更有力的版本导致了这些项目出现问题，一个可取代的介绍分割或限定最初的解释是因为它更能说明一些具体的事实。
•分析：把某些东西打破的过程是为了去了解他们是怎样一起工作组成整体，还有一个通常在写作中关于结果的陈述的过程
•辩论： 通过合理推断和证据来支撑的一个主张或一系列主张。一系列合理推断意味着说明某些事情的真实或虚假。
•假设：一种不直接说明或验证的简述，某些人为了维持特别的立场而必须抑制的。某些被承认但必须是真的为了使结论真实可信的东西。一个通常也是不直接说明和验证的简述，通常它的持有能让你保持一个特定的观点。它可能是默认的，但是它的正确性往往是为了验证你的结论是正确的。（番茄翻译得真好啊….）
•结论：通过一系列推论而总结出来的最终观点，如果推论是合理的就是有根据的；最终的结果主张。
•反例：一个例子，真实的或假设的，是用来驳倒或驳斥阿狗里面的一个观点。
一个准备阿狗最好的途径是选些题库里面的题来练习写作。对每个人来说没有什么方法是最适合他们的。一些人更喜欢一开始不严格限定30分钟练习，如果你运用这种方法，你需要更多的是就去分析阿狗。不管你选择哪种方法，你需要：
•仔细阅读题目，你可能需要阅读一遍以上。
•尽可能地明确它许多的观点和结论以及潜在假设。
•尽可能地思考更多的可取代性的解释和范例。
•思考更多的证据来削弱或增强支撑观点。
•自我询问在文章中什么样的变革能够使推论更加合理。
写下每条想法的简单笔记。当你离你的分析很远的时候，回头看看这些笔记，并把它们放在讨论中最重要的位置（可能要列出它们）。然后通过按照顺序充分阐述你的每一条观点来写下辨析。即使你选择不写充实的文章，你也应该发现它对练习分析几篇文章和对你的文章列提纲非常重要。当你能够更快且更自信的时候，你应该在30分钟限时内写几篇文章，因为你可以有更好的怎样调整你在考试中的节奏感的感觉。比如，你可能不需要尽可能地讨论一个观点或者提供更多的相似例子以至于时间不够去做主要观点的阐述。
你可能需要从一个写作指导者，一个哲学老师，或在他或她的课程里强调辨析思考的某些人他们得到关于你这篇文章的反馈。交换与同学写的同一话题的文章和根据评分标准来讨论他人的文章也是非常有效的。不用过分关注最高分，要看到这篇文章是怎样符合或误解每一个评分标准（不要过多的关注根据文章在评分档上符合或错过了什么要求而该打多少分，依旧是番茄的翻译….），和为了改进因此你需要去做什么。
怎样解释在阿狗话题里面出现的数据，百分比，以及统计。
一些文章包括被用来作为支撑作者结论的证据的数据，百分比或统计。举例，一篇文章可能主张一个确定的公社活动在此年没有上一年流行了，因为此年只有100个人出席和上一年150人出席相比，出席率下降了百分之三十三。记住最重要的是你不需要去考证数据，百分比及统计的精确性。相反的是，你需要评价的是，它们作为证据能否支持结论。在以上例子中，结论是公社活动不再流行了，你需要问你自己，100个人和150个人之间的不同能支持此结论吗？在此案例中，写下其他可能性的解释。举例，在此年天气可能更糟糕，在此年活动可能在不方便的时候举行的，在此年活动的花费更高了，或者，在同一时间出现了其他更流行的活动。每一个都可能解释出席率的不同，因此它削弱了关于活动不流行的了结论。同样的，百分比有可能支持或削弱依靠百分比所表现出的确实的数据的一个结论。考虑这个观点，是学校的戏剧小组值得投入因为它的成员人数已经提高了百分之百，如果是由过去的5个人到现在的十个人，这个百分之百的提高可能是有意义的。记住，在阿狗话题中的任何数据，百分比，或统计都只能作为证据来支撑结论，你需要经常考虑它们是否能确实支持结论。
你文章的形式
你可以通过任何你认为能够有效的表达你对论点的分析途径来自由组织文章结构和阐述你的批判。你的文章，可能有，但实际上不需要的，从大学里面所设置的英文写作课程里所学到的综合详细的写作策略。GRE考官不会审查一个详细的发展的策略或写作模式。事实上，当教师被迅雷成为GRE考官，他们看过上百篇阿狗文章，尽管内容和形式上有很大的不同，但表现出类似的辨析思维和分析写作能力的水平。举例，考官会看到一些6分水平的文章都是以简洁的综合论点和明确的立场以及阐述主要批判观点为开头，或确定问出出现的主要破绽和广泛地陈述批判。你可能想借鉴一些阿狗样文，尤其是5到6分水平的，去学习这些作者是怎样成功地陈述和组织他们的辨析。
你需要做出选择，是关于你所想支持的形式和结构以及提高你整体辨析思维的有效性。这意味利用或多或少的一些你认为对你批判是适当的的段落。举例，当你的讨论转移至一个新的分析观点是，另起一个新的段落。你可能想要围绕着文章本身结构来组织你的辨析，一条一条地讨论论点。或者你可能想先指出最关键的可疑假设然后在合理推论中去讨论相关的破绽。类似于，你可能想要利用例子，如果它们能帮助解释说明你的一个重要的批判观点或推进你的讨论（记住，然而，根据你的能力去有效地完成阿狗任务，这是你的辨析思维和分析写作，不是你提出例子的能力，这些都是被考核的。）重要的不是你文章的形式如何，而是在此综合写作中怎样使你的文章分析更深刻和确实你能表达你的分析能力给考官。
阿狗样题
医院关于因滑旱冰而进急诊室的人的统计指出保护性的设备的重要性。在这群人中，有百分之75都发生在街道或公园里，同时没有佩戴任何保护装备（头盔，护膝等），或者任何反光材料（比如可夹住的灯，专用于黑夜行驶的护腕垫等）。这些统计清楚地指出买一些高质量的保护装备和反光设备，滑冰者会很好地规避事故风险。
关于此话题的策略
这个话题引用了医院详细的统计来支持关于买进高质量的保护装备和反光设备会减少滑冰者的受伤事故的一般性结论。
在阐述你的分析是，你应该问你自己这医院的统计是否确实支撑这个结论，你可能要问你自己如下问题：
•因滑冰事故而进急诊室的滑冰者的百分比是多少？
•这些因滑冰事故而进急诊室的人能代表一般的滑冰者吗？
•有没有在滑冰事故里受伤而没有进急诊室的人？
•是不是进急诊室的滑冰者都严重受伤？
•那些百分之25佩戴了保护装备的滑冰者和百分之75没佩戴保护设备的人受伤个一样严重吗？
•街道和公园对滑冰者来说是不是本来就比其他地方更加危险？
•中等质量的保护装备是不是和高质量的保护装备一样能够避免在滑冰中受伤的危险。
•有没有除了装备和设备以外其他的理由。比如天气条件，能见度，以及滑冰者的技巧，这些都可能与滑冰受伤的危险有紧密的联系。
样文及评语
6分样文
The notion that protective gear reduces the injuries suffered in accidentsseems at first glance to be an
obvious conclusion. After all, it is the intent of these products toeither provent accidents from occuring in the first place or to reduce theinjuries suffered by the wearer should an accident occur. However, the
conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reducesthe risk of being severely injured in an accident may mask other (andpotentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to overinvest financially and psychologically in protective gear.
First of all, as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kindsof gear - preventative gear (such as light reflecting material) and protectivegear (such as helmets). Preventative gear is intended to warn
others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of theroller skater. It works only if the
"other" is aresponsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessaryspace and attention.
Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whetherit is caused by an other, the skater or some force of nature. Protective geardoes little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce theinjuries that occur in an accident. The statistics on injuries suffered byskaters would be more interesting if the skaters were grouped into thosewearing no gear at all, those wearing protective gear only,those wearingpreventative gear only and those wearing both. These statistics could provideskaters with a clearer understanding of which kinds of gear are morebeneficial.
The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into accountthe inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not. Ifis at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsibleand/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likelyto cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, betheir natural caution and repsonsibility that keeps them out of the emergencyroom rather than the gear itself. Also, the statistic above is based entirelyon those who are skating in streets and parking lots which are relativelydangerous places to skate in the first place. People who are generally moresafety conscious (and therefore more likely to wear gear) may choose to skatein safer areas such as parks or back yards.
The statistic also goes not differentiate between severity of injuries.The conclusion that safety gear
prevents severe injuries suggests that it is presumed that people come tothe emergency room only with
severe injuries. This is certainly not the case. Also, given that skatingis a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings andweekends (when doctors' offices are closed), skater with less severe injuriesmay be especially likely to come to the emergency room for treatment.
Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that high quality (andpresumably more expensive) gear is any more beneficial than other kinds ofgear. For example, a simple white t-shirt may provide the same preventativebenefit as a higher quality, more expensive, shirt designed only for skating.Before skaters are encouraged to invest heavily in gear, a more completeunderstanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would behelpful.
The argument for safety gear based on emergency room statistics could provideimportant information and potentially saves lives. Before conclusions about theamount and kinds of investments that should be made in gear are reached,however, a more complete understanding of the benefits are needed. After all, afalse confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear atall.
考官评语
这篇杰出的文章展示了作者深刻的分析技巧。在开篇所提及的，简单指出话题的荒谬推理鼓励人们去额外付出更多的金钱和精力在保护装备是紧随着全面检验题目的错误。开头段提及的“运用题目易错的推理容易导致人们过多的将钱和精力关注到保护设备”是紧随着全面检验题目的错误（还是亲爱的番茄…）。尤其是，作者指出推翻此话题的几个观点：
•避免和保护装备是两种概念。
•佩戴了装备而很少受伤的那些人是因为他们更有谨慎感。
•数据不是由伤势的严重性来区分的。
•设备不需要高质量才有效。
这个讨论很流畅而富有逻辑组织性，每个观点都经过深思熟虑地阐释。在加上，整篇文章很简洁且基本没语法错误，句式复杂多样，表述精确而有效。
总的来说，这个例子表明了评分标准所描述的最高6分。如果作者再降低点辩论性或提供更少的例子来反对此观点，这篇文章仍然能得到6分。
5分样文
The argument presented is limited but useful. It indicates a possiblerelationship between a high percentage of accidents and a lack of protectiveequipment. The statistics cited compel a further investigation of the usefulnessof protective gear in preventing or mitigating roller-skating related injuries.However, the conclusion that protective gear and reflective equipment would"greatly reduce.risk of being severely injured" is premature. Data islacking with reference to the total population of skaters and the relative levelsof experience, skill and physical coordination of that population. It is entirelypossible that further research would indicate that most serious injury isaverted by the skater's ability to react quickly and skillfully in emergencysituations.
Another area of investigation necessary before conclusions can be reachedis identification of the types of injuries that occur and the various causes of those injuries. The article fails to identify the most prevalent types of roller-skating related injuries. It also fails to correlate the absence of protective gear and reflective equipment to those injuries. For example, if the majority of injuries are skin abrasions and closed-head injuries, then a case can be made for the usefulness of protective clothing mentioned. Likewise, if injuries are caused by collision with vehicles (e.g. bicycles, cars) or pedestrians, then light-reflective equipment might mitigate the occurences. However, if the primary types of injuries are soft-tissue injuries such as torn ligaments and muscles, back injuries and the like, then a greater case could be made for training and experience as preventative measures.
考官评语：
这篇有力的文章认为观点的批判过程是正确的，注意到指出可能性的观点，但结论是不成熟的。它提出了三个关键问题，如果能够回答，将会攻破观点的合理性：
•滑轮者总人口的特征是什么？
•保护和反光设备在避免和减轻滑旱冰者的受伤起到了什么作用？
•伤势有哪几种以及它们的原因是什么？
这位作者通过考虑可能会强化或削弱观点的答案来阐述每一个问题。这篇文章并没有像6分文章所要求的有充分的深刻阐述或辨析来分析观点。但其明晰的结构，强大语言的运用以及有一定根据的陈述是它高于4分。
4分样文
Although the argument stated above discusses the importance of safety equipment as significant part of
avoiding injury, the statistics quoted are vague and inconclusive. Simply because 75 percent of the people involved in roller-skating accidents are not wearing the stated equipment does not automatically implicate the lack of equipment as the cause of injury. The term "accidents" may imply a great variety of injuries.
The types of injuries one could incur by not wearing the types of equipment stated above are minor head injuries; skin abrasions or possibly bone fracture of a select few areas such as knees, elbows, hands, etc. (which are in fact most vulnerable to this sport); and/or injuries due to practising the sport during low light times of the day. During any physically demanding activity or sport people are subjected to a wide variety of injuries which cannot be avoided with protective clothing or light-reflective materials. These injuries include inner trauma (e.g., heart-attack); exhaustion; strained muscles, ligaments, or tendons; etc. Perhaps the numbers and percentages of people injured during roller-skating, even without protective equipment, would decrease greatly if people participating in the sport had proper training, good physical health, warm up properly before beginning (stretching), as well as take other measures to prevent possible injury, such as common-sense, by refraining from performing the activity after proper lighting has ceased and knowing your personal limitations as an individual and athlete. The statistics used in the above reasoning are lacking in proper direction considering their assertions and therefore must be further examined and modified so that proper conclusions can be reached.
考官评语：
这篇充分的文章瞄准了话题中模糊和不确定的统计。此文明确和批判从其统计的误解所推导出的合理推理。
•没用设备可能被自动的假定为受伤的原因。
•所谓的事故可能是小小的受伤。
•可能由其他原因所引发的事故—在黑夜中滑冰，没有受过适当的训练和热身，没有认识到个人身体限制。
作者合适地抓住该话题的弱点之处。其思想是明确连贯的，但此文缺乏过渡的短语。阐述也是刚刚好。
语言的运用十分充分，这位作者掌握了控制和明确以及英语文法的习惯。尽管从整体上来说，这篇4分样文缺少5分样文那样更彻底的阐述。
Essay Response – Score 3
The argument is well presented and supported, but not completely well reasoned. It is clear and concisely written. The content is logically and smoothly presented. Statistics cited are used to develop support for there commendation, that roller skaters who invest in protective gear and reflective equipment can reduce their risk of severe, accidental injuries. Examples of the types of protective equipment are described for the reader. Unfortunately, the author of the argument fails to note that merely by purchasing gear and reflective equipment that the skater will be protected. This is, of course, fallacious if the skater fails to use the equipment, or uses it incorrectly or inappropriately. It is also an unnecessary assumption that a skater need purchase high-quality gear for the same degree of effectiveness to be achieved. The argument could be improved by taking these issues into consideration, and making recommendations for education and
safety awareness to skaters.
考官评语：
这篇写的不错但有所限制的文章第一部分仅仅描述了此话题，第二部分明确了该话题的两种假设：
•购买了保护装备的人会使用该装备。
•高质量装备比其他装备更有效。
这些观点充分组成一些分析，因此确保得三分，然而，没有充分阐述两种观点得不到4分。
二分及一分样文不予翻译的哈
样题
ISSUE
在ISSUE中表达你的观点 45分钟
你会有45分钟计划和写作一篇文章来表达你对所选择的话题的观点。任何对其他问题的回答都只能得零分，你会从两个话题中选一个，每个题目会以一个简单的引用而出现，即主张或暗示一个公众话题。你可以自由接受，拒绝，或限定话题所提出的观点。只要你所表达的观点清楚且与你所选择的话题相关联。通过从你所任何读过的领域，经验，观察或学院学习来推论和举例来支持你的观点。
在你做出选择之前，仔细阅读每一个话题。然后决定你可以更有效和充分推理的文章的话题。GRE考官是大学和学院教师，他们会阅读你的文章来对整体质量做出评价，这决定于你准备的充分性。
•考虑该题的复杂性和暗示之处。
•组织，阐述和表达你关于此题的观点。
•运用相关的推理和例子来支持你的观点。
•运用英文写作不同的元素。
你可能需要一些时间来思考你所选择的话题，在你开始写作之前列个提纲。确保充分阐述你的观点以及连贯地组织语言，但留下一点时间来阅读你写完的文章，在你认为必要时做一些订正。
ISSUE话题选择
在以下题目中选一个来表达你的观点，运用相关的推理或例子来支撑你的观点。
题目一
科学技术产品及使用的发展给人们带来现代文明同时孤独感也增加了。
题目二
我们日益衰退的环境将会带来。。。。。我们日益衰退的环境将同时为人类带来无政治家，无哲学家和战争。环境问题是全球性问题且部分国界。因此，人类面对的做以整体为目标的选择携手并进或者作为个体并迎来同样的悲剧。
ARGUMENT
30分钟
你有三十分钟的时间来计划和写一篇能够以简短段落的形式来表达对题目的批判。任何对其他题目的批判将会得零分。
分析文章所列出的推理，确保考虑什么是某些质疑的假设成为其思想的基础，如果证据被应用，它是怎样支持论点的。
你也可以讨论某些证据可以强化或反对论点，对题目来说什么样的变化可以使它变得更具有逻辑性，怎么样的附加说明可以帮助你更好地评价结论。简要写下你可能会被需要在文中来表达你的观点的东西。
GRE考官都是大学和学院教师，他们会阅读你的批判和评价整体质量，这是基于你怎样充分表现：
•明确和分析题目最重要的特点。
•组织，阐述和表达你对文章的批判。
•运用相关的推理和例子来支持你的批判。
•充分运用标准英语写作元素。
在开始写作之前，你可能需要几分钟来分析题目和做一些提纲。确保充分阐述你的观点和连贯地组织它们，但留下一点时间来阅读你已写完的文章，在你认为必要的时候做些修改。
ARGUMENT TOPIC
讨论怎样合理地推论你所发现的争论。
题目：
6个月前FORESTVILLE地区把高速公路的汽车限速提高了10公里每小时。自从改变生效后，车祸率提到了15%。但是作为FORESTVILLE邻居ELMSFOR的限速，仍然保持不变，但是车祸率却从相同的6个月里稍稍下降了。因此，FORESTVILLE的居民如果希望高速公路的车祸率能降低，那么他们该把提高之前的速度再降低点。
ISSUE评分标准
6分
一篇6分文章应该表现一个信服的，对ISSUE复杂性的连贯分析，通过技巧把意思表达出来。
一篇在此类的典型文章
•在文中表达深刻的观点。
•运用令人信服的推理或有说服力的例子来阐述你的立场。
•包含一个关注度高的，组织良好的分析，能够把观点连贯起来。
•流畅地和精确地表达关单，运用有效的词汇和丰富多样的句子。
•熟练运用标准英语写作习惯（语法，结构等）但允许一些小的错误。
5分标准
一篇5分文章表现一般思想，对话题复杂性的良好分析，清楚表达意思。
在此类的典型文章：
•在文章中表达已考虑好的立场。
•运用符合逻辑的推理和恰当的例子来阐述观点。
•观点集中，组织良好，恰当地把观点联系起来。
•清楚且良好地表达观点，运用合适的词汇和丰富的句式。
•展现标准英语写作习惯的熟练性，但可允许一些小的错误。
4分标准
一篇4分文章展示对话题有合适的分析和充分表达思想。
在此类的典型文章：
•在文中表达清晰的立场。
•运用相关的推理或例子来阐述你的观点。
•有充分的关注和组织
•有合理清晰的表达观点
•展示一般的标准语言习惯控制能力，但可允许小错误。
3分标准：
一篇3分的文章展示了一些对话题合理的分析以及能够表达观点但有明显的破绽。
此类典型文章可能有一个及一个以上的以下特征：
•在文章中表达观点是模糊且有限的。
•没有充分运用相关的推理或例子。
•没有足够的关注或组织。
•在语言及句子结构方面有一些问题，导致表述不清。
•包括在语法或结构方面有偶然大量的错误或经常的小错误，影响其表达。
一分标准：
此类典型文章有一个或一个以上以下特征：
•仅提供少量或根本没有证据来了解和分析题目。
•仅提供少量或根本没有证据来发展一篇具有组织性的文章。
•在语言和句子结构上有些错误，影响表达。
•包括在文法，语法以及结构方面的随处可见的错误，导致不连贯。
0分标准
远离话题，用外语书写，仅仅抄了题目，包括一些键盘敲击，或模糊，或空白，或无法说出的文字。
ARGUMENT评分标准
6分文章应表现一个有力的，组织连贯的分析，并有技巧地表达其思想。
此类典型文章
•清楚地明确题目的重要特征，能够深刻地分析它们。
•深刻地阐释观点，富有逻辑性地组织它们。
•有效地支持批判的主要观点。
•展示了语言的运用能力，包括合适的词语及丰富句式。
•展示了标准英语写作习惯的熟练性，但允许有小错误。
5分标准
5分文章表达了一般的有深度的，良好的陈述批判以及明晰地表达思想。
•明确题目的重要特点，在一个普遍的角度上来分析它们。
•清楚地阐释观点，有逻辑性地组织观点，以及通过合适的连接词来连接它们。
•明显地支持批判的主要观点。
•展示了语言运用技巧，包括合适的语言选择及丰富句式
•展示了标准英语写作习惯的熟练性但允许小错误。
4分标准
一篇4分的文章表达了对题目合理的批判以及充分表达其思想。
•明确和分析其题目的重要特征。
•合理地阐释和组织思想但可能没有连接词来联系它们。
•支持批判的主要观点。
•展示了有效的语言运用去清晰合理地表达观点。
•展示一般的标准英语写作习惯的控制能力但允许有一些错误。
3分标准
一篇3分的文章展示一些对观点合理的批判及能够表达其思想但有明显的破绽。
此类典型文章可能包括以下一点或一点以上的特征:
•不能明确或分析题目的大部分重要特征，尽管题目的一些分析还是有所表示的。
•主要分析勉强切题或根本不相干，或推理薄弱。
•在逻辑表述和思想组织方面有局限性。
•提供很少中肯及有价值的批判观点。
•缺乏明确地表达思想。
•包括在文法，语法及结构方面出现明显大量的错误或经常出现的小错误，影响意思的表达。
2分标准
一篇2分的文章展示在分析写作方面比较严重的弱点。
包括以下一个或一个以上的问题：
•不能在逻辑分析的基础上陈述一个批判，但可能代替陈述作者自己在文章的观点。
•不能阐述观点，或者没有组织性及逻辑性。
•只能提供少量的中肯或合理的支持。
•在语法运用及句子结构方面有严重的错误，影响其意思的表达。
•包括在文法，语法及结构上出现的严重错误。
一分标准
一分文章展示了在分析和写作方面基础的缺乏。
此类文章有以下一个或一个以上的特点：
•仅提供少量或根本没有证据来了解或分析题目。
•仅提供少量货根本没有证据来阐述或组织文章。
•在语言运用和句子结构方面有些错误，影响其意思的表达。
•包括随处可见的在语法及结构方面的错误，导致文章不连贯。
0分标准
离题，用外国语写作，仅仅复述题目，包括仅是键盘敲打，或模糊，或空白，或文字阐述不清的。

中原527UID：2707367

AWINTRO还差最后一点尾巴了，困死了，明早补上去
在此万分感谢番茄~~~~

中原527UID：2707367

啦啦啦~~~~~
最后的尾巴终于出来了
各位大大翻译真是快....
虽然很慢，我还是终于磕磕巴巴地翻译完了，给自己撒花，一点一点的努力累积

中原527UID：2707367

评分标准
尽管GRE分析写作手段包括两篇独立的分析写作任务。但只有一种综合的分数，是因为它比任一篇任务的单个分数来说更合理。报告的分数，是两篇任务的分数的平均数，等级为从0到6，中间包含半分。
以下陈述说明，任何一种分数水平，都是通过I和A写作任务来评价整体分析写作质量水平。因为这次考试评价的是写作水平，辨析思维技巧（即推理，累积证据来阐述一个观点，以及表达综合思想的能力），这比作者对好的观点所体现出对文章语法及结构良好控制更加重要。
6分到5.5分的标准
包括对复杂思想进行深度分析，运用富有逻辑及说服力的推理和高度令人信服的例子来阐述和支持主要观点。有高度集中的观点和良好的组织。有技巧地运用了句子的多样性及精确的词汇来有效地传达思想。展示了对句子结构和语法方面超人的娴熟但可允许有些不妨碍意思表达的小错误。
5分到4.5分标准
提供了对复杂思想一般性的分析，充分运用合逻辑的推理及合适的例子来阐述和支持主要观点。有一般性的关注和良好的组织。运用丰富多样的句子和词汇来清楚地表达意思。展示了对句式及语言良好的运用但可允许出现不妨碍表达的小错误。
4分到3.5分的标准
提供对复杂思想的合理分析，运用相关的推理和例子来阐述和支持主要观点；有充分的组织；展示对句式和语言的合理运用但可能有些影响明确的表达的错误。
3分到2.5分的标准
在分析写作方面展示一些合理性，尽管此篇文章至少会出现一个如下的破绽：对分析和阐述的局限；薄弱的组织；对句式和语言方面薄弱的运用，以及总是出现导致表述不清的错误。
2分到1.5分的标准
  在分析写作出现严重的问题。此写作严重出现至少如下一种破绽：严重缺乏分析和阐述；缺少组织；在句式和语言方面出现经常性且严重的错误；有影响意思表达的错误。
1分到0.5分的标准
表现出在分析写作方面的薄弱基础。此写作至少出现如下一种基本的破绽：在文中出现极端混乱及不相干的内容；很少甚至没有阐述；出现导致文章不连贯的严重和随处可见的错误。
0分标准
这位考生的写作技巧不能被评估，因为该文章并没有解决此任务出现的任何问题，或者仅仅是尝试复述该题目；或者用外文写作；或者仅仅展示了难以理解的文字。

中原527UID：2707367

第八讲 段落逻辑顺序：


关于权重排序的资料：
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支持论据１：

Climactic Order (Order of Importance) （按重要性来排列）
In this pattern, then, you decide what is most important and put it at the beginning or the end; next you choose what is second most important and put it at the end or the beginning (whichever remains); the less important or powerful items are then arranged in the middle. If the order of importance followed 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, with 5 being most important, psychological order might follow the order 4, 3, 1, 2, 5.
Still other principles of organization based on emphasis include （逻辑思维顺序，普遍到个性，个性到普遍等规律）
general-to-specific order,
specific-to general order,
most-familiar-to-least-familiar,
simplest-to-most-complex,
order of frequency,
order of familiarity, and so on.
对应连接词：
more importantly; best of all; still worse; a more effective approach; even more expensive; even more painful than passing a kidney stone; the least wasteful; occasionally, frequently, regularly（多为递进关系）
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支持论据２：
（时间年代排列）
In a historically-oriented paper (e.g. "The Early Conquests of Alexander the Great"), you might simply want to move the paper along chronologically.
(关于对论点的分析的排列)
最重要，最有趣的，放首要位置，以吸引读者读完
you can follow an ascending or climactic order, looking at smaller factors or arguments first, then moving up to the more crucial factors. Your last section could begin, "The most serious difficulty with…, however, is…" Ascending or climactic order adds power to a paper by leading the reader into increasing tension, much like an action movie builds to a climax.
if you use up the good stuff early, you’ll have little left to keep the reader interested in the rest of what you have to say.
（两种或两种以上观点的比较，尽可能从各方面来一条一条地阐释）
If you are comparing or contrasting two or more viewpoints, there are basically two ways to go about it.
If the two views you are discussing are relatively simple to explain and analyze, try a longitudinal method by which you discuss all aspects of view A and then moved on to discuss all aspects of view B.

Conclusion(总结强调，让读者再次明白你的立场)
Now you have the chance to deal with both sides of each issue in turn. By the time you get to your conclusion, your reader should have a cumulative understanding of the issues and of the reasons for your position.
尽可能避免过长的标题，可以使用副标题来明确你的观点，使你的文章结构更加紧凑
You do it by using fewer main headings and adding subheadings to them.
Thus you group your points, arguments, etc. under 3 or 4 main categories and let subheadings pick up the detail.
This makes a tighter structure that has more of a chance of achieving unity in the paper.

支持论据3


After you have formed your dominant impression into a thesis, make a plan to organize the relevant supporting details into three basic parts. Each part will comprise one Roman numeral of your outline and one paragraph of the body of your paper. For the dingy cafe（这个没看懂...）, you might use the walls, the booths, and the counter as the three parts in climactic order, that is, ascending from least to most important.
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支持论据４：
Logical Order: The Key to Coherent Paragraphs and Essays
It is very important to present information to readers in a logical order.
Order your examples in a paragraph, for instance, from least to most important. Be sure to use appropriate transitions (first, then, finally) in order to guide your reader.
Another way to organize is by cause and effect: if A caused B, discuss A first, then B.
Still another way is to organize by problem then solution. State the problem first, then give your proposed solution.
Remember: Out of order paragraphs and essays are hard to read and understand.

反例2图片里面的逻辑在我看来似乎是合理的啊，不是反例吧...
普遍到特殊，时空顺序，问题到方法，数据到总结，这都是我们惯常的逻辑思维吧，咋在反例里面了，不明白.............

通过对这些论据的总结，我有以下结论：
１．
并不是所有的文章都是要按照ascending orders的，其实别的顺序都可以接受，包括descending的。主要是按照合理的顺序，说清楚意思就好。
２．
实际的文章写作，没有这么单纯的顺序，Issue题目中，许多复杂的问题远不能拿这些逻辑顺序概括。实际上，我们把这种复杂的顺序叫做the flow of mind，根据论证的思路排序
３．补充一种顺序：IMRaD: Introduction- Materials and Methods -
Results – Discussion
二、如何处理复杂顺序：
１．三“W”法：Answering Questions:
The Parts of an Essay
"What?"
The first question to anticipate from a reader is "what": What evidence shows that the phenomenon described by your thesis is true? To answer the question you must examine your evidence, thus demonstrating the truth of your claim. This "what" or "demonstration" section comes early in the essay, often directly after the introduction. Since you're essentially reporting what you've observed, this is the part you might have most to say about when you first start writing. But be forewarned: it shouldn't take up much more than a third (often much less) of your finished essay.
If it does, the essay will lack balance and may read as mere summary or description.
提出问题
"How?"
A reader will also want to know whether the claims of the thesis are true in all cases. The corresponding question is "how": How does the thesis stand up to the challenge of a counter-argument? How does the introduction of new material—a new way of looking at the evidence, another set of sources—affect the claims you're making? Typically, an essay will include at least one "how" section. (Call it "complication" since you're responding to a reader's complicating questions.) This section usually comes after the "what," but keep in mind that an essay may complicate its argument several times depending on its length, and that counter-argument alone may appear just about anywhere in an essay.
解决办法
"Why?"
Your reader will also want to know what's at stake in your claim: Why does your interpretation of a phenomenon matter to anyone beside you? This question addresses the larger implications of your thesis. It allows your readers to understand your essay within a larger context. In answering "why", your essay explains its own significance. Alhough you might gesture at this question in your introduction, the fullest answer to it properly belongs at your essay's end. If you leave it out, your readers will experience your essay as unfinished—or, worse, as pointless or insular.
为什么会产生此问题已经为什么采取这样的措施

一、
文章地图法：
Mapping an Essay
Structuring your essay according to a reader's logic means examining your thesis and anticipating what a reader needs to know, and in what sequence, in order to grasp and be convinced by your argument as it unfolds. The easiest way to do this is to map the essay's ideas via a written narrative. Such an account will give you a preliminary record of your ideas, and will allow you to remind yourself at every turn of the reader's needs in understanding your idea.

*
State your thesis in a sentence or two, then write another sentence saying why it's important to make that claim. Indicate, in other words, what a reader might learn by exploring the claim with you. Here you're anticipating your answer to the "why" question that you'll eventually flesh out in your conclusion.

*
Begin your next sentence like this: "To be convinced by my claim, the first thing a reader needs to know is . . ." Then say why that's the first thing a reader needs to know, and name one or two items of evidence you think will make the case. This will start you off on answering the "what" question. (Alternately, you may find that the first thing your reader needs to know is some background information.)

*
Begin each of the following sentences like this: "The next thing my reader needs to know is . . ."
Once again, say why, and name some evidence. Continue until you've mapped out your essay.


Your map should naturally take you through some preliminary answers to the basic questions of what, how, and why. It is not a contract, though—the order in which the ideas appear is not a rigid one. Essay maps are flexible; they evolve with your ideas.

注意不要写成堆积型：A common structural flaw in college essays is the "walk-through" (also labeled "summary" or "description"). Walk-through essays follow the structure of their sources rather than establishing their own. Such essays generally have a descriptive thesis rather than an argumentative one. Be wary of paragraph openers that lead off with "time" words ("first," "next," "after," "then") or "listing" words ("also," "another," "in addition"). Alhough they don't always signal trouble, these paragraph openers often indicate that an essay's thesis and structure need work: they suggest that the essay simply reproduces the chronology of the source text (in the case of time words: first this happens, then that, and afterwards another thing . . . ) or simply lists example after example ("In addition, the use of color indicates another way that the painting differentiates between good and evil").

中原527UID：2707367

第9讲

段落内部的关系

一、段落的基本概念：
１．段落的作用：An informative paragraph should tell your readers all they need to know about a single idea, in a logical sequence, without wasting their time with irrelevant detail.
这里注意段落基本的三要素：
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一个独立的观点－和Thesis密切相关
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一个合理的逻辑顺序
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没有无关细节

注意：段落的结构和整体文章的结构是一致的，段落组织联系的关系就和文章是一样的：Groups of paragraphs make up the sections of your paper, which are its next larger logical units. Most of the principles for writing informative paragraphs apply to whole sections, too, so we won't deal separately with putting sections together. Whatever I say about putting sentences together into paragraphs applies also to putting paragraphs together into sections.-The structure of a paragraph parallels the structure of an essay in order as well as content.

２．段落的长短问题：
首先原因一段比较有趣的论断：An essay is like a girl's skirt-it should be long enough to cover the topic(body) and short enough to be interesting!
实际上段落的长短是没有一个绝对的标准的，就像上面那句话一样，长短适度，根据话题和论述的需要。
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但是，过短的段落说明你信息不足，论证不充分，观点的选择比较肤浅，论述的范围比较窄。
n
过长的段落说明你信息冗余，或者不相关细节过多，讨论过宽。

一、段落的组成结构：
１．The topic sentence:
有两个作用：首先它实际上是你本段话题的Thesis,起到和全文的Thesis一样的作用。其次，它是全文的Thesis的进一步的推广和具体化；一般来说，TS总是在文章的开头的第一或者第二句话，很少可以见到在文章的最后出现，并且最好不要这样使用！
２．Supporting evidence/analysis:
由论据和论证组成，为了合理的论证观点TS.必须在论据和论证之间找到一个平衡！
３．The conclusion(observation):
结论句总是在文章的最后一句或者倒数第二句！结论句除了总结上文的论述，还要在此总结上做好向下一个分论点的过度。

段落组成实例：
In modern America, as it happens, the importance of overlooking is probably greater than ever before.
Even a person trying to lead a quiet, simple life encounters an endless stream of annoyances, errors and petty demands such as paperwork, filing numbers and taxes; long lines at the bank; exponentially aggravating traffic jams and sullen, uncooperative coworkers and neighbors.
Those of us who cannot overlook such annoyances will invariably succumb to self-defeating dismay.
注意上面，划单线的是TS,划双线的是Conclusion，中间的是Supporting details.

二、段落组成的内容：
内容基本原则：

·
Orient your reader to the subject.
·
Tie your ideas together.
·
Take it easy through technically dense passages.
·
Arrange your ideas in a logical sequence.
１．
为什么要不停的让读者知道你的下一步怎么写？
Everyone needs to take stock of the present situation and to have some idea where they're going before plunging off in a new direction. That's why you need to give your readers signposts that tell them where they are and where you're going to lead them, not just at the beginning of your paper, but frequently along the way.

２．怎么做？
Whenever you introduce a new idea, your readers will appreciate definitions, examples and comparisons with things they already know. They will feel more comfortable with your new information if they have a familiar reference to hang on to. Three ways to do this are with orienting words and phrases, by letting the old amplify the new, and by adding explanatory words and phrases, where necessary.
（１）
USE ORIENTING WORDS AND PHRASES：
Here are a few orienting words and phrases you can use to introduce familiar concepts and to make your readers comfortable by touching base with things they already know:
·
of course
·
as you know
·
until now
·
obviously
·
normally
·
previously
·
everyone is familiar with
·
remember that


（２）
LET THE NEW AMPLIFY THE OLD：(扩展观点)

As you link the old with the new, avoid the traditional chronological approach that lists the old things before the new. Usually, you are interested in the old merely as a contrast with the new. For example:
The new Videx compact video disk player weighs one-third and costs less than half of the 1992 model. Furthermore, it can hold up to six times as much programming and uses tiny 3-inch disks instead of the bulky 12-inch ones.
Isn't this version much more informative than one that would begin by listing the undesirable characteristics of the old machines, then told you what the latest ones are like? How often do you begin your news with a long historical background? Such background information is most useful if it is strategically placed to reinforce and contrast with your message, not as a single lump at the beginning.


（３）
ADD EXPLANATORY WORDS AND PHRASES（尽可能地详细阐述新的观点）：

Often, when you are introducing new ideas, you will have to expand and clarify them with definitions and explanatory material. Generally, the more complex the ideas you have to present, the more explanatory material you will need.
To decide how much explanatory material you need, you have to form a clear picture of your audience and how familiar they are with what you're saying. In general, it's a good idea to put in more explanations than you think you need, because your writing is often read by people outside your expected audience.



三、段内句子连接：
注意三个原则：
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Unity-所有句子讲同一个主题
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Coherence－句子之间相互关联，共同构成有机整体
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Connection－适当的连接句子

（一）利用逻辑连接词连接段落：
As you build paragraphs, you'll need some "glue" to bind your sentences together. Otherwise, your readers will have trouble making the logical jumps from one sentence to the next. Even though the connections between your sentences may be clear to you, you can't count on your readers to supply those links. Remember that a paragraph should form a single logical unit. If it doesn't create a single idea in your readers' minds, it's not doing its job.

English supplies us with useful linking words called connectives, （逻辑连接词）which form the logical bridges between ideas. If you keep these verbal guideposts in mind and use them as you write, you will almost automatically provide the interrelations among ideas that every reader looks for.
Here is a list of some connectives. Like the subordinating conjunctions, these are the good guys; use them liberally (but correctly and appropriately), and I guarantee that your writing will become more effective. They are hard to overuse.


Connective words that describe relationships:

ALSO [/td][td]HOWEVER [/td][td]ALTHOUGH [/td][/tr]

INCIDENTALLY [/td][td]THEREFORE [/td][td]BESIDES [/td][/tr]

LIKEWISE [/td][td]THUS [/td][td]MEANWHILE [/td][/tr]

MOREOVER [/td][td]USUALLY [/td][td]FURTHERMORE [/td][/tr]

NEXT [/td][td]WHATEVER [/td][td]GENERALLY [/td][/tr]

YET [/td][td]ACCORDINGLY [/td][td]NEVERTHELESS [/td][/tr]

INSTEAD [/td][td]IN CONTRAST [/td][td]FOR EXAMPLE [/td][/tr]

Connectives that give a sense of time:

FIRST [/td][td]SECONDLY [/td][/tr]

FINALLY [/td][td]NOW [/td][/tr]

ONCE [/td][td]WHEN [/td][/tr]

ULTIMATELY [/td][td]EVENTUALLY [/td][/tr]

LASTLY [/td][td]LATER [/td][/tr]

MEANWHILE [/td][td]PREVIOUSLY [/td][/tr]

THEN [/td][td]SOON [/td][/tr]

FORMERLY [/td][td]SOMETIMES [/td][/tr]

Other Connective phrases:

TO BEGIN WITH [/td][td]ON THE OTHER HAND [/td][/tr]

IN BRIEF [/td][td]IN GENERAL [/td][/tr]

IN SUMMARY [/td][td]MORE SPECIFICALLY [/td][/tr]

INSTEAD OF [/td][td]IN ADDITION TO [/td][/tr]

IN OTHER WORDS [/td][td]ANOTHER WAY TO [/td][/tr]

FOR THE SAME REASON [/td][td]NO MATTER WHAT [/td][/tr]

SUCH A [/td][td]THAT'S WHAT (WHY) [/td][/tr]

IN FACT [/td][td]WHAT'S MORE [/td][/tr]

IN THE SAME WAY [/td][td]ON THE CONTRARY [/td][/tr]

CONVERSELY [/td][td]AS A RESULT [/td][/tr]

SUMMING UP [/td][td]IF SO / NOT [/td][/tr]

All of these words and phrases link ideas and assure continuity in your writing. (具体的这些连接词我在写作语言里边有更详细的总结)


（二）利用重复：
Another useful principle to assure continuity in your writing and tie your sentences together is:

TRY TO HAVE A WORD OR PHRASE SOMEWHERE IN EACH SENTENCE THAT REFERS TO SOMETHING IN A PREVIOUS SENTENCE.

这个就是神秘的核心词重复！！
１．One easy way to follow this principle is to use pronominal adjectives like these to refer to nouns in previous sentences:

THIS	THAT
THESE	WHICH
THEIR	HIS
ITS	HER

利用人称和其他代词指代。
For example:
Dr. Quark testified that the only scientific value of creationism lies in its position among primitive superstitions and mythologies. His testimony helped strike down laws requiring its teachings to be included in biology textbooks.
２．Another way to assure continuity in your writing is simple repetition; that is, carry the same nouns from one sentence to the next.
核心词重复（或者改写重复）

For example:
Scientists map the winds and precipitation inside hurricanes by flying specially instrumented aircraft through them. These aircraft must withstand stresses of up to six times the force of gravity.
If you try to use these connective devices in your own writing, but have difficulty, be suspicious that the ideas that you're trying to link together in a single paragraph are merely a sequence (that is, a catalog) of logically unrelated ideas. Rearrange or rewrite them until you can logically tie them together. Remember: All the sentences in a paragraph should be logically related.
３．利用强调词：
INTENSIVES
Another way to tie ideas together is with intensives. Intensives help you emphasize what's important and to set the important apart from the incidental -- a major goal of all scientific and technical writing. Compare the following two sentences, the first without intensives and the second with intensives added:
The whale is the largest living mammal. The largest whales weigh over 150 tons, are 100 feet long, and consume 5 tons of food each day.
The whale is by far the largest living mammal. In fact, the largest whales weigh as much as 150 tons and grow as long as 100 feet. These enormous animals consume 5 tons of food each day.
Notice how the bold words that have been added emphasize certain points the author deemed important.
Here is a list of some useful intensives:

ESPECIALLY [/td][td]AS MUCH AS [/td][td]EVEN IF/THOUGH [/td][/tr]

INCREASINGLY [/td][td]BY FAR [/td][td]SO...THAT [/td][/tr]

MORE IMPORTANTLY [/td][td]HIGHLY [/td][td]ONLY [/td][/tr]

PARTICULARLY [/td][td]IN FACT [/td][td]VERY [/td][/tr]

SIGNIFICANTLY [/td][td]QUITE [/td][td]SUCH [/td][/tr]

MOST [/td][td]UNIQUE [/td][td]AT ALL [/td][/tr]

ABOVE ALL [/td][td]INDEED [/td][td]IN ANY CASE [/td][/tr]

CAUTION: Misusing or overusing intensives (most notoriously, the word very) can weaken your writing. Use them like garlic -- sparingly. Eliminate intensives that are thrown in gratuitously or that don't make a definite contribution by emphasizing an important fact or idea. Littering your writing with intensives where they are not needed makes your writing sound trite and strains your credibility.
Here is an exercise to give you practice linking your ideas together. Add connectives, intensives (from the lists above, or make up your own) and repeated words to the following sentences to make a coherent paragraph:
·
Global Airlines carried three-million passengers last year.
·
They expanded their routes into the Pacific Northwest and Canada.
·
The new DC-12 aircraft proved more fuel-efficient than the older 737's.
·
Older, unprofitable routes were dropped.
·
Passengers seem to like on-time flights and automatic ticketing.
·
Only one-million passengers flew Global two years ago.
·
Their record has been accident-free since 1950.
·
Global planes have averaged 80-percent full last year.
·
Profits were up 60 percent, in spite of increased fuel costs.




https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=894597&highlight= 草木出品~~~~推荐撒花~~~~~是草木收集网上最全的连接词，再次复习下~~~

中原527UID：2707367

一、介绍：虚拟语气是英文中一特殊的语言现象，主要用于表达与事实相反或者对尚未发生的事情进行假设的陈述，常表达强烈愿望、遗憾、感慨、后悔、责备、规劝等语义。
可大致分为三类：
1、对现在事实的虚拟


基本形式：If + were /did等过去式…, …would /could /should /might + do


2、对过去事实的虚拟

基本形式：If + had done…, …would /could / should /might + have done


3、对将来事实的虚拟

基本形式：If + should do…, …would /could /should /might + do; 意思类似汉语中的“万一”

If + were+ 不定式…, …would+ do;


Should+ 动词原形

4、虚拟条件句的倒装
虚拟条件句的从句部分如果含有were, should, 或had, 可将if省略，再把were, should或had 移到从句句首，实行倒装。
例句：Were they here now, they could help us.=If they were here now, they could help us.

5、wish的用法
1）用于wish后面的从句，表示与事实相反的情况，或表示将来不太可能实现的愿望。其宾语从句的动词形式为：
　　

	真实状况	wish后
从句动作先于主句动词动作（be的过去式为were)	现在时	过去时
从句动作与主句动作同时发生（had+过去分词）	过去时	过去完成时
将来不大可能实现的愿望	将来时	would/could+动词原形

　　　
2）Wish to do表达法。
例句：
Wish sb / sth to do
　　　 I wish to see the manager. = I want to see the manager.
　　　 I wish the manager to be informed at once. (= I want the manager to be informed at once.)
6、比较if only与only if：
only if表示"只有"；if only则表示"如果……就好了"。If only也可用于陈述语气。
例句：I wake up only if the alarm clock rings. 只有闹钟响了，我才会醒。
　　　If only the alarm clock had rung.　　　当时闹钟响了，就好了。
　　　If only he comes early.　　　　　　　但愿他早点回来。
7、It is (high) time that
It is (high) time that 后面的从句谓语动词要用过去式或用should加动词原形，但should不可省略。
例句：It is time that the children went to bed.
　　　It is high time that the children should go to bed.
8、need "不必做"和"本不该做"
didn't need to do表示：
过去不必做某事, 事实上也没做。.
needn't have done表示：
过去不必做某事, 但事实上做了。
9、as, 或者whether…or…谓语多用be的原形，引导让步虚拟从句，这种用法通常采用倒装结构。
例句：Church as we use the word refers to all religious institutions, be they Christian, Islamivc, Buddhist, Jewish, and so on.
注意1：部分动词的宾语从句中需用虚拟语气，形式为should do, 其中should常被省略。

此类动词有：insist, demand, suggest, propose, order, require, decide, ask, request, command等表示命令、建议、要求等.

注意2：在一些惯用语之后经常需要用虚拟，来表示与事实相反或者难以实现的事情

这类习语有：as if , as though, but for, otherwise, without, wish, if only, for fear that, unless, in case, lest等
例句： But for your help, I would not have arrived here in time.
(如果没有你的帮助，我就不能准时到达)

注意3：在下列形容词引导的that从句中必须要用虚拟语气(should) do，但是由于 should经常被省略，所以实际上用的就是动词原形。

这类形容词有: It is important/ necessary/ proper/ imperative/ essential/ advisable等 + that
例句：It is necessary that he (should) realize his situation.
注意4：在虚拟语气的从句中，动词'be'的过去时态一律用"were"，不用was，
即在从句中be用were代替。
例句：If I were you, I would go to look for him. （如果我是你，就会去找他。）
　　　If he were here, everything would be all right. （如果他在这儿，一切都会好的。）
注意5：如suggest, insist不表示"建议" 或"坚持要某人做某事时"，即它们用于其本意"暗示、表明"、"坚持认为"时，宾语从句用陈述语气。
例句：The guard at gate insisted that everybody obey the rules.

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第5期倒装
。
。
。
【什么是倒装】

如果句子谓语提前，则句子为倒装语序（inverted order），分为
完全倒装（full inversion）和部分倒装（partial inversion）
Full inversion: 整个谓语提前，如：
Down tell half a dozen apples
忽然掉下来五六个苹果。
There comes the bus
公车来了。

Partial inversion: 只有部分谓语提前，如：
How are you doing?

。


【一些常见的倒装句】

1，由引导词there 引导的句子：
There’s an outdoor concert tonight in the park
。
2, 由there , here, now, then 等副词引导的句子。
There comes the rest of the party.
。
3, 由so, neither, nor 引导的句子：
I like singing and so does Helen
I don’t eat meat and neither does Tom.
Nor will I deny that
。
。
【一些状语从句中的倒装语序】
1、有些有If引导的条件状语从句（主要包含有were, had, should 的从句），可以把IF省略，把上述动词放到主语前面去：
。
Weren’t it for their assitance, we wouldn’t be able to do so well.

Had we got there earlier, we would have caught the train.

Should Mary call, say that I'll be back in an hour.
2、有些让步状语从句中又是也有倒装的情况，（主要把标语或部分谓语提前）：
。
Clever though he was, he couldn’t conceal his eagerness for praise.

Try as I would, I couldn’t make her change her mind.

Talented as he is, he is not yet ready to turn professional.

Search as they would, they could find no one in the wood
【某些副词或状语引导的倒装句】

1、些又否定意义的副词，若放在句首，句子常用倒装。
。
Never would he know what she had suffered.
Never before has such a high standard been achieved.
Scarcely was she out of sight when he came
。
2, 有个别其他副词放在句首时，又是也会有这个现象：
Often would she(she would) weep when alone.
Bitterly did he repent that decision. 他深深地悔恨那个决定。
Gladly would I give my life to save the child.
。
3, 有些短语，（特别是介词短语）移到句首时也可能引导倒装语序：
On no account must we give up this attempt.
Under no circumstances could we agree to such a principle.
一般这类的都是一些否定含义的短语，类似的还有：In vain, not until, at no point
还有表示唯一的，如：only in this way
So…that结构： So bright was the moon that the flowers were bright as by day.
。

。
【一些谓语前移的情况】
1、<状语前置>有些句子没有宾语且主语又比较长。又是可把状语提前，而把主语放在谓语后面去。

Before him lay miles of undulating moorland: 他前面是一片高低起伏的荒原

After the banquet came a firework display in the garden. 宴会后花园里燃放了烟火。

From the distance came occasional shots. 从远处传来零星的枪声。

In the distance could be seen the purple mountains. 远处可以看见紫色的群山。
2、为了描绘更生动，有些与介词同行的副词可以移到句首，把主语放在谓语后面。

Up went the arrow into the air. 嗖的一声箭射上了天。

She rang the bell. In came a girl she had not seen before. 她按铃，进来一个她从未见过的姑娘。

Down flew the eagle to seize the chicken 老鹰飞下来抓小鸡。
【分词和表语移到句首的情况】

1、进行时态中的分词有时可移到句首，来对这个动作加以强调。
Lying on the floor was a boy aged about seventeen.
Standing beside the table was an interpreter
Watching the performances were mostly foreign tourists.
。
2, 已过去分词做表语的句子，过去分词有时也可以提前，把主语放到后面去。
The most widely distributed is the Hui people
Seated on the ground are a group of young people.
Hidden underground is a wealth of gold, silver, lead and zinc.
。
3, 作表语的介词短语有时也可以提前。
Among its products are farm machines and mining equipment.
Around the lake are a huge number of farms.
Near the sourthen end of the village was a large pear orchard.
。
4, 其他表语也可提前
Worst of all is the humiliations he suffered. 最不堪的是他经受的许多屈辱。
Below is a restaurant.
Higher up were forests of white birches. 在往上去是一片白桦林。
。。


【其他倒装句】

1，祝愿的句子:
Long live world peace! 世界和平万岁！
May you have a long and happy life. 祝你幸福长寿。

2、间接引语后的插入语，主语有时可放在谓语后面：
“I do hope,” said Nancy, “they haven’t all forgotten about it.”
。
3, 有时修辞上的考虑，表语也可以提前：
Very grateful we are for your help.
A very reliable person he is, to be sure. 他是个很可靠的人，没问题。

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为啥为啥为啥，标了颜色显示不出来??????????

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习作汇总
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1034966-1-1.html 阿狗143
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1031403-1-1.html ISSUE13

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写作贴第10讲如何有效论证
In order to use evidence effectively, you need to integrate it smoothly into your paragraph(为了使这些论据流畅的结合在一起，应该：)
o State your claim.
o Give your evidence, remembering to relate it to the claim.
o Comment on the evidence to show how it supports the claim
举例：
Weak Use of Evidence
1)
Today, we are too self-centered. Most families no longer sit down to eat together, preferring instead to eat on the go while rushing to the next appointment . Everything is about what we want
This is a weak example of evidence because the evidence is not related to the claim. What does the claim about self-centeredness have to do with families eating together? The writer doesn’t explain the connection．
The same evidence, however, can be used to support the same claim, but only with the addition of a clear connection between claim and evidence, and some analysis of the quotation’s content
缺陷：论证和题目结合不紧密，不是论据无关，而是作者没有表现这种合理的关系在哪里，其实就是却一句话或者是一个逻辑连接词的问题．

Stronger Use of Evidence
2)
Today, Americans are too self-centered. Even our families don't matter as much anymore as they once did. Other people and activities take precedence. In fact, the evidence shows that most American families no longer eat together, preferring instead to eat on the go while rushing to the next appointment. Sit-down meals are a time to share and connect with others; however, that connection has become less valued, as families begin to prize individual activities over shared time, promoting self-centeredness over group identity．
This is a far better example, as the evidence is more smoothly integrated into the text, the link between the claim and the evidence is strengthened, and the evidence itself is analyzed to provide support for the claim
大家其实可以看出来这段的论证好在哪里：划线的部分首先是首尾都有明显的和中心联系的句子，让你知道你在读什么，然后就是后边的几乎每个句子都有逻辑的连接词汇连接了起来．
关键在逻辑连接词，把例子和论点充分结合，避免平铺直叙，达到深化的作用

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第11讲CONCLUSION
A conclusion should
•        stress the importance of the thesis statement, （重现主题句）
•        give the essay a sense of completeness, and （完善全文）
•        leave a final impression on the reader.（给读者一个深刻的印象）
Suggestions
•        Answer the question "So What?" （强调文章的重要性）
Show your readers why this paper was important. Show them that your paper was meaningful and useful.
Play the "So What" Game.

•        Synthesize,（综合全面的观点） don't summarize
o       Don't simply repeat things that were in your paper. They have read it. Show them how the points you made and the support and examples you used were not random, but fit together.
•        Redirect your readers
o        Give your reader something to think about, perhaps a way to use your paper in the "real" world. If your introduction went from general to specific, make your conclusion go from specific to general. Think globally. （结尾最后从具体再回到一般）Propose a course of action, a solution to an issue, or questions for further study. This can redirect your reader's thought process and help her to apply your info and ideas to her own life or to see the broader implications.
•        Create a new meaning
o        You don't have to give new information to create a new meaning. By demonstrating how your ideas work together, you can create a new picture. Often the sum of the paper is worth more than its parts.
•        Point to broader implications.（扩展宽度）
For example, if your paper examines the Greensboro sit-ins or another event in the Civil Rights Movement, you could point out its impact on the Civil Rights Movement as a whole. A paper about the style of writer Virginia Woolf could point to her influence on other writers or on later feminists.
Strategies
•        Echoing the introduction: （呼应开头）Echoing your introduction can be a good strategy if it is meant to bring the reader full-circle. If you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that your essay was helpful in creating a new understanding.
Example
Introduction
From the parking lot, I could see the towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom standing stately against the blue sky. To the right, the tall peak of The Matterhorn rose even higher. From the left, I could hear the jungle sounds of Adventureland. As I entered the gate, Main Street stretched before me with its quaint shops evoking an old-fashioned small town so charming it could never have existed. I was entranced. Disneyland may have been built for children, but it brings out the child in adults.
Conclusion
I thought I would spend a few hours at Disneyland, but here I was at 1:00 A.M., closing time, leaving the front gates with the now dark towers of the Magic Kingdom behind me. I could see tired children, toddling along and struggling to keep their eyes open as best they could. Others slept in their parents' arms as we waited for the parking lot tram that would take us to our cars. My forty-year-old feet ached, and I felt a bit sad to think that in a couple of days I would be leaving California, my vacation over, to go back to my desk. But then I smiled to think that for at least a day I felt ten years old again.（划线部分都是和前面呼应的部分）
•        Challenging the reader:（挑战读者的思维） By issuing a challenge to your readers, you are helping them to redirect the information in the paper, and they may apply it to their own lives.
Example
Though serving on a jury is not only a civic responsibility but also an interesting experience, many people still view jury duty as a chore that interrupts their jobs and the routine of their daily lives. However, juries are part of America's attempt to be a free and just society. Thus, jury duty challenges us to be interested and responsible citizens.
•        Looking to the future:（展望未来） Looking to the future can emphasize the importance of your paper or redirect the readers' thought process. It may help them apply the new information to their lives or see things more globally.
Example
Without well-qualified teachers, schools are little more than buildings and equipment. If higher-paying careers continue to attract the best and the brightest students, there will not only be a shortage of teachers, but the teachers available may not have the best qualifications. Our youth will suffer. And when youth suffers, the future suffers.（好段落！）
•        Posing questions:（提出问题） Posing questions, either to your readers or in general, may help your readers gain a new perspective on the topic, which they may not have held before reading your conclusion. It may also bring your main ideas together to create a new meaning.
Example
Campaign advertisements should help us understand the candidate's qualifications and positions on the issues. Instead, most tell us what a boob or knave the opposing candidate is, or they present general images of the candidate as a family person or God-fearing American. Do such advertisements contribute to creating an informed electorate or a people who choose political leaders the same way they choose soft drinks and soap?
Strategies to Avoid
•        Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as "in conclusion," "in summary," or "in closing." Although these phrases can work in speeches, they come across as wooden and trite in writing.（很重要！）要明确让读者一眼看到文章中心
•        Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.
•        Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.
•        Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes.
•        Making sentimental, emotional appeals (out of character with the rest of an analytical paper).
•        Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.
Four Kinds of Ineffective Conclusions
1.        The "That's My Story and I'm Sticking to It" Conclusion. This conclusion just restates the thesis and is usually painfully short. It does not push the ideas forward. People write this kind of conclusion when they can't think of anything else to say. Example: In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.（避免单纯的复述）
2.        The "Sherlock Holmes（福尔摩斯）: Conclusion. Sometimes writers will state the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion. You might be tempted to use this strategy if you don't want to give everything away too early in your paper. You may think it would be more dramatic to keep the reader in the dark until the end and then "wow" her with your main idea, much like a Sherlock Holmes mystery. The reader, however, does not expect a mystery, but an analytical discussion of your topic in an academic style, with the main argument (thesis) stated up front. Example: (After a paper that lists numerous incidents from the book but never says what these incidents reveal about Douglass and his views on education): So, as the evidence above demonstrates, Douglass saw education as a way to undermine the slaveholders' power and also an important step toward freedom.（开头留悬念结尾揭示答案我觉得很好啊，怎么算无效CONCLUSION？阅卷者更喜欢直接的观点啊。。。）
3.        The "America the Beautiful"/"I Am Woman"/"We Shall Overcome" Conclusion. This kind of conclusion usually draws on emotion to make its appeal, but while this emotion and even sentimentality may be very heartfelt, it is usually out of character with the rest of an analytical paper. A more sophisticated commentary, rather than emotional praise, would be a more fitting tribute to the topic. Bad Example: Because of the efforts of fine Americans like Frederick Douglass, countless others have seen the shining beacon of light that is education. His example was a torch that lit the way for others. Frederick Douglass was truly an American hero.
4.        The "Grab Bag（摸彩带，混杂，聚合）" Conclusion. This kind of conclusion includes extra information that the writer found or thought of but couldn't integrate into the main paper. You may find it hard to leave out details that you discovered after hours of research and thought, but adding random facts and bits of evidence at the end of an otherwise-well-organized essay can just create confusion. Bad Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer, Frederick Douglass provides an interesting case study for masculinity in the American South. He also offers historians an interesting glimpse into slave resistance when he confronts Covey, the overseer. His relationships with female relatives reveal the importance of family in the slave community.（与主题无关的信息要舍弃）