1006G[REBORN FROM THE ASHES组]备考日记 by 中原527--战胜自己

中原527UID：2707367

我的I处女作...
被三个板油批得到处都是密密麻麻的颜色，惭愧啊....
回想起当时写作的状态，真是不知道干嘛去了...
不过，最高兴的是大家都热心帮忙~
我也要攒点人品~
谁给我改我就给谁改~~~
在改别人的文中，有些我不太肯定的错误我自己也查下用词用句，事实上，也是自我知识完善的过程
一起加油~~~~~~~~

中原527UID：2707367

第13讲主要讲逗号
哪些情况下用逗号，哪些情况下不需要
Compound Sentence Commas

Skim your paper, looking only for the seven coordinating conjunctions:
and, nor, but, so, for, or, and yet.
Stop at each of these words to see whether there is an independent clause (a complete sentence), on both sides of it. (For more help, see our handout on independent clauses.)

Comma Splices

See whether you have an independent clause (a sentence) on both sides of the comma.
If so, change the sentence in one of the following ways:
·
reword the sentence to change one clause into a subordinate (or dependent) clause (see our handout on dependent clauses) （合并成一个句子）
·
add a coordinating conjunction after the comma 加连接词
·
replace the comma with a semicolon 分号代替逗号
·
replace the comma with a period, question mark, or exclamation point, and capitalize the first word of the second clause 用句号，问号，惊叹号以及大写字母代替逗号
comma splice: Americans speak too rapidly, this is a common complaint by foreign visitors.
correct: Americans speak too rapidly; this is a common complaint by foreign visitors.
correct: Foreign visitors commonly complain that Americans speak too rapidly.

Introductory Commas
Stop if one of these words is a dependent marker such as while, because, when, if, after, when, etc. (see our Commas After Introductions).
If necessary, place a comma at the end of the introductory dependent clause. Examples:
While I was writing, the phone rang.
Other introductory commas
·ends in -ing
·is an infinitive (to + verb)
·is an introductory word (well, yes, moreover, etc.)
Place a comma at the end of the introductory phrase.
Disruptive Commas
General guidelines
2. If the comma isn't necessary for clarity or called for by a rule, get rid of it.

For disruptive commas between compound verbs or objects
disruptive comma: They bought two pizzas, but ate only one.
   correct: They bought two pizzas but ate only one.
Series Commas

place commas after each word, phrase, or clause in the series
Commas with Nonessential Elements（在句中表示不重要的部分）

Students who cheat only harm themselves.
  Fred, who often cheats, is just harming himself.

中原527UID：2707367

14讲Proofreading Your Writing
General Strategies
1写完后深呼吸思想放松再回头检查
2留足够时间来仔细检查语法词汇错误
3大声读....
4扮演读者的角色查看文章
5问朋友或写作导师帮忙查看文章
You won't be able to check for everything (and you don't have to), so you should find out what your typical problem areas are and look for each type of error individually.
1找到错误，复习老师的评语与建议
2为错误列表，向老师寻求帮助，他们会给你建议如何订正避免
Finding Common Errors
1不能依赖电脑自动纠错功能
2逐字逐句检查
3字典
4警惕弱智拼写错误
Left-out and doubled words
1Make sure each sentence has a subject.
2Make sure each sentence has a complete verb
3See that each sentence has an independent clause;
注意句子的独立，若单句太多就注意是否该用连词
又是注意逗号.....
Analysis
1.Read your underlined words. Is there a consistent series of related topics?

2.Will your reader see these connections among the topics?

3.Decide what you will focus on in each paragraph.

4.Imagine that the passage has a title. The words in the title should identify what should be the topics of most of the sentences.
要从读者角度出发来修改文章

Paragraphs

   隔一段时间再来修改文章，会有新鲜感，可能会避免因熟悉而可能忽视的错误
带着问题来评价你的草稿
表达你的主要观点（这一点我总是看到草木贴其他杂七杂八都反复强调此点）
审查你文章中的例子是否支持观点（翻译AWINTRO就经常看到此点，举例子是为了支持自己的观点，当然，不能单纯地摆例子，而是借例子来扩展深入阐述自己的辩论）

中原527UID：2707367

话说，我怎么在帖子里面改不了字的大小和颜色（一部分）

中原527UID：2707367

逛C的帖子发现了此链接
对于Issue的一些想法(暨平衡思路的结构组织分析)
大致看了下觉得还不错，明早起来研究去也~~~
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=673637&highlight=

中原527UID：2707367

14 TOPIC: ARGUMENT4 - The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town-Adams Realty and Fitch Realty-Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."
WORDS: 365         TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2009/1/25 16:57:13

In this argument, the author draws a conclusion; （这里不需分号，用that）one should choose Adams Realty (AR) rather than Fitch Realty (FR), by a series of deductions. However, to my understanding, the suggestion is based on invalid analogies and incogent evidences.

First and foremost, the author emphasizes that AR owns more real estate agents than FR possesses. But he failed to consider possibilities that more workers are by no means more work efficient. The workers in FR may share comfortable work environment, enough human touch（人情味）, and （be）surrounded by optimistic attitude which are rarely in AR. Therefore, workers in FR have more motivations to urge themselves to higher profits. Furthermore, the cost of human resource management and operation must be taken in to consideration to judge the final profits. It is highly probably that AR spent more budgets on workers' salaries and daily water rate and electric charge, which potentially influenced its profits.  
1员工多不代表有效率(比如FR可能有良好的氛围)
2公司的运营成本要考虑在内
Moreover, high price of home sales may not lead to high profits either. As it is known to us all, profit is produced by sell price minus cost. So besides the price of building, we have to consider another aspect -- production and operation cost. Perhaps FR has many long-term suppliers, and they built mutually beneficial relationships and cooperation together. Hence the prices of materials of FR are much lower than the ones of AR, Which play a crucial role in determining final profits. So the conclusion: AR is more powerful than FR is doubtful.
这段有问题了，说的是建筑的成本，事实上房屋经纪公司不一定是自己建房子，而且题目也指出作者把房子交给经纪公司代卖
Finally, the author failed to consider the change of price and requirement in real estate market. Maybe customers were poorer than they are now（这句怪怪的，说以前比现在穷，直接说现在有钱了呗）, or probably by the development of the town, the population explosion is emerged. Thus the needs of apartment are obviously elevated, which, result in fast sale. So, the suggestion that buying AR's building lead to quick sell of house is not as cogent as it seems to be.
经济发展情况影响房价或销售速度，看来作者注意到时间的漏洞了，但他没有明确说清楚，十年前和去年，这个时间区分应该要强调一下。
As is mentioned above, the conclusion is not persuasive to me. The author has to furnish more effective evidences such as the annual bulletins of two companies and more background information just like comparing the economy now to it was ten years ago to readers.
基本是看到什么漏洞就攻击啥，没有主线连接下来
而且第3段逻辑有问题，作者没有明确经纪公司的作用

中原527UID：2707367

第16讲 比喻
前面讲了一堆名人对比喻的看法

extended or telescoping metaphor: A sustained metaphor.单看这词儿还真不大明白，看例子就懂了
        The teacher descended upon the exams, sank his talons into their pages, ripped the answers to shreds, and then, perching in his chair, began to digest.

implied metaphor: A less direct metaphor.
        John swelled and ruffled（滋扰） his plumage（羽毛） (versus John was a peacock)额...没有括号我还真看不出来这是暗喻，要联合上下文呢。

mixed metaphor: The awkward, often silly use of more than one metaphor at a time. To be avoided！尽量避免混杂的比喻，一切务必能使读者读懂为重心
        The movie struck a spark that massaged the audience's conscience.

dead metaphor: A commonly used metaphor that has become over time part of ordinary language.
        tying up loose ends, a submarine sandwich, a branch of government, and most clichés（这个句子俺没看懂...）

simile（类比）: A comparison using "like" or "as"（我们小虾最常用的也能上手的....）
        Her face was pale as the moon.

metonym（换喻）: The substitution of one term for another with which it is commonly associated or closely related.
        the pen is mightier than the sword, the crown (referring to a Queen or King), hands (referring to workers who use their hands),

synecdoche（代喻 又称举偶,它是以部分代替全部或全体代替部分的一种修辞手法）: The substitution of a part for the whole or vice versa (a kind of metonym).
        give us this day our daily bread

至于怎样比喻，古人深知此道啊~~~
我相信在比喻两方对象，大家是有话可说的吧
现在的问题是，如何用英文思维去表达，草木是简单地提出起到一个抛砖引玉的作用~最重要的是还是平常的积累~

中原527UID：2707367

语法第6讲 从句
关于基础的语法比较多，这里就不贴了，只贴一些我认为比较重要的或者说我容易犯的错误
比较：because, since, as和for

1）　because语势最强，用来说明人所不知的原因，回答why提出的问题。当原因是显而易见的或已为人们所知，就用as或 since。
　 I didn't go, because I was afraid.
　 Since /As the weather is so bad, we have to delay our journey.

2）　由because引导的从句如果放在句末，且前面有逗号，则可以用for来代替。但如果不是说明直接原因，而是多种情况加以推断，就只能用for。
　 He is absent today, because / for he is ill.
　 He must be ill, for he is absent today.
结果状语从句引导结果状语从句的连词有：so...that, such...that, so that, that, so等。
Mickey Mouse is so attractive that the children are reluctant to leave.

比较： so和 such

　其规律由so与such的不同词性决定。such 是形容词，修饰名词或名词词组，so 是副词，只能修饰形容词或副词。 so 还可与表示数量的形容词many, few, much, little连用，形成固定搭配。
　so foolish　　　　　　　such a fool　　　　　　　
　so nice a flower　　　　such a nice flower　
　　
　so many / few flowers　 such nice flowers　　　　
　so much / little money. such rapid progress　　　
　so many people　　　　　such a lot of people　
　
（ so many 已成固定搭配，a lot of 虽相当于 many，但 a lot of 为名词性的，只能用such搭配。）
　 so…that与 such…that之间的转换既为 so与such之间的转换。
　 The boy is so young that he can't go to school.
　 He is such a young boy that he can't go to school

as / though引导的让步从句必须表语或状语提前（形容词、副词、分词、实义动词提前）。
　　Child as /though he was, he knew what was the right thing to do.
　= Though he was a small child, he knew what was the right thing to do.
注意： a.　句首名词不能带任何冠词。
　　　　b.　句首是实义动词，其他助动词放在主语后。如果实义动词有宾语和状语，随实义动词一起放在主语之前。
　　 Try hard as he will, he never seems able to do the work satisfactorily.
　 = Though he tries hard, he never seems…
　虽然他尽了努力，但他的工作总做的不尽人意。

123runfordreamUID：2697608

中原527UID：2707367

123runfordream 发表于 2009-12-11 21:27

这表情，至于么.....
还有3天了，OMG语法部分才开个头...

中原527UID：2707367

15 TOPIC: ARGUMENT169 - The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.

"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."
WORDS: 421         TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-12-7 16:38:55

In the argument, the arguer recommends that we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire in order to attract the most gifted teachers and researches and improve the morale of our entire staff. The argument is mainly based on some studies conducted by Bronston College. Although the recommendation sounds indeed reasonable at first sight, a series of logical flaws may undermine the argument.

The threshold problem of this argument is that the studies conducted by Bronston College might not be reliable despite of the similar location.  The information about the studies is too vague. Neither does the arguer provide information concerning the process of these studies, nor does the arguer offer any evidence that these studies are reliable. Without enough evidence about the study, it is impossible to assess the validity and reliability of these studies.
感觉这段是空话，没有提出实质性的东西，就是反复说B大学的调查空泛没有具体证据，也没有提出例子来说明，其实可以提出，调查范围小啊，该地方适用到另外一个地方就不一定起作用
In addition, whether the spouse's job offer is the main factor influencing the most largely on the most gifted teachers and researches is questionable. The arguer unfairly assumes that the spouse's job offer is an attractive condition for most gifted teachers and researchers and that it is difficult for their spouses to find proper jobs. However, there is no guarantee that this is the case, nor does the arguer provide any evidence to substantiate the assumptions. （前面一堆模板到后面终于提出实质性的观点了）It is highly possible that the most gifted teachers and researches focus more on the scientific environment and the level of their fellows instead of their spouse's job. Besides, their spouses might also be capable enough to find a better job in companies or government rather than Pierce University. Without proving the assumptions, the arguer cannot convince me to accept his/her recommendation.
可能优秀人才更加注重研究环境和资源，其配偶可能会找到比学校更好的工作
Last but not least, the arguer groundlessly assumes that this recommendation would be effective to improve morale of our entire staff. As the arguer mentions, the offer is only for each new faculty member we hire. If so, the old faculty member might feel it is not fair for them and their spouses. As a result, even though the method is able to attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers, it undermines the morale of our old staff.
新旧员工的区别待遇不公平
In sum, the argument lack credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove the reliability of these studies and revise the recommendation in order to fulfill its function of improving the morale of our entire staff.
感觉第2段和第3段前半段都抽掉也不影响文章中心，模板堆砌得太多了，阿狗要的是辨证，而不是字数堆砌。

中原527UID：2707367

16 TOPIC: ARGUMENT188 - A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids-a painkiller-to 28 men and 20 women who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication. In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.
WORDS: 424          TIME: 00:28:34          DATE: 2008-12-1 15:54:44
(已经放到word里面改过错别字)
In the argument, the arguer draw a conclusion that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication. Besides, the arguer also suggests that researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women. The argument is mainly based on a research about 28 men and 20 women having their wisdom teeth extracted. However, although the conclusion sounds indeed reasonable at first thought, several logical flaws may seriously undermine this argument.（看了十几篇，几乎篇篇都有这句话，看腻了，但不说这个呢，一来表意似乎不足，起码要说句预示下段的内容啊，二来凑字数，看了精华版，无夏奶奶说她几乎没有一句模板，好厉害啊！！！）

First of all, the arguer commits a fallacy of "hasty generalization". Firstly, the research only tests one kind of painkiller-- kappa opioids without testing other kinds of painkiller's effect. Based on a specific example, it is logically unsounded to make suggestion for all medications. It is very possible that other kind of medications might be completely different from kappa opioids, they might have the same effect on men and women, or might be more effective on men than women. Secondly, the result of the research is limitedly based on one kind of situation--extracting the wisdom teeth. It is likely that this situation is not typical in general and in other cases kappa opioids might have the same effect on men and women. In fact, in the face of such limited evidence, it is fallacious to draw any conclusion at all.  
K止痛药试验不能证明所有止痛药一定对女人有效；K止痛药的实验对象只有牙痛患者
Moreover, the research cited by the arguer is too vague to be informative. The number of the subjects, 28 men and 20 women, might constitute an insufficiently small sample to draw any reliable conclusion. Also, the sample might be unrepresentative of the most people. It is possible that the women in the group are more health than the men. Without better evidence that the research is statistically reliable, the arguer cannot convince me to accept his conclusion.
实验的男女数量不同；男女身体素质（这就是所谓的攻击样本吧？坛子里很多人都说不要攻击样本，最好攻击推理，但事实上关于此题，样本确实有很大的问题呢。）
Last but not least, the arguer assumes that kappa opioids are more effective to women than men, according to the evidence that the women reported felling much less pain than the men. But it is not sufficient to substantiate the assumption. It is entirely possible that the women might own more powerful ability to stand the pain or the men might express the pain openly.
男女忍痛能力….这也算是个吧，反正我是没想到这种
To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to do more scientific and substantial research. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding the reference of other medications.
如果不能攻击样本，此题能批的漏洞就没几个了…..

中原527UID：2707367

17 TOPIC: ARGUMENT80 - The following appeared as an editorial in a health magazine.

"Clormium 5 is an odorless, tasteless, and generally harmless industrial by-product that can enter the water supply. A preliminary study has linked cooking with water containing clormium 5 to an increased incidence of allergies and skin rashes. Tests of the drinking water in several areas have revealed the presence of clormium 5.（可能还有其他成分的影响） Although it is possible to remove clormium 5 from water, the costs of routine testing and purification are higher than many communities can afford. Therefore, in order to prevent allergies and skin rashes, communities that cannot afford to rid their drinking water of clormium 5 should replace drinking fountains in public buildings, such as schools and libraries, with bottled-water coolers."（前面已说过linked cooking with water containing clormium 5一般来说是家庭用水来做饭，有谁会跑到公共场合去接水做饭？）
WORDS: 397          TIME: 00:28:25          DATE: 2008-11-6 19:56:41

Before the implementation the recommendation in the argument above, there are several evidence which need to be reexamined in some other aspects, as discussed below.

To begin with, the result of study is open to doubt. Firstly, the argument above provide no detail or information concerning how many people participate the study and how they are selected. （样本容量问题）Common sense tells us that the smaller the sample size is, the less reliable and credible the result of study will be. Perhaps, only 100 people participate the study, if this is the case, this small sample size is insufficient and imprecise to draw any conclusion. Also due to lacking of information concerning how people are selected to participate the study, we cannot conclude whether the result of study is representative enough. Secondly, the study overlooks other factors which can lead to allergies and skin rashes. Perhaps, due to eating some unclean food, some of the participants get allergies and skin rashes. If this is the case, the conclusion renders its incredibility due to ignore other factors which can lead the same symptoms, such as skin rashes.
样本容量小；可能有其他的原因导致allergies and skin rashes

In addition, even if the result of the study is substantiated, it does not follow that presence of clormium 5 will definitely cause allergies and skin rashes. Perhaps, the amount of clormium 5 in the drinking water is little so that it is insufficient to cause people sick. Perhaps, some other materials exist in the drinking water too, which prohibit the effect of clormium 5 to cause people sick. Without ruling out all these possibilities above, the conclusion of argument is groundless to me.
水里面有其他成分导致sick（其实上一段中也有类似的意思，可以挪下来和这段合并一起谈，即可能有其他的原因）
Last not the least, even if the foregoing assumptions are all substantiated, it does not follow that replacing drinking fountains in public buildings with bottled-water coolers will be the best solution. The argument overlooks other methods to deal with drinking water containing clormium 5, which maybe more economical and effective. Perhaps, adding some medicines into the water can offset the effects of clormium 5. Further, the argument does not provide any information concerning bottled-water. Perhaps, these bottled-water still contains clormium 5. In this sense, the recommendation amounts to nothing.
感觉这段像诡辩：瓶装水比处理C5要省钱（题目已经明确指出处理C5可能要花费很多钱所以要用bottled-water coolers，也就是说暗示B可能省钱也可能没有C5）
In conclusion, the argument above fails to convince me. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide more detail about the preliminary study above and other methods which can be used for dealing with the drink water containing clormium 5.
看了后面有人的批改，觉得此人逻辑好严密啊，我没注意到的问题他注意到了，看下别人的评语也可以扩展一下自己的思维辨析能力
我还没有参加AW考试，提一点点拙见
文章的结论：Therefore, in order to prevent allergies and skin rashes, communities that cannot afford to rid their drinking water of clormium 5 should replace drinking fountains in public buildings, such as schools and libraries, with bottled-water coolers."
如果想让这个结论成立，需要做几个假设：

1.allergies and skin rashes是clormium 5引起的（第一个假设）。A preliminary study has linked cooking with water containing clormium 5 to an increased incidence of allergies and skin rashes. 这里的红色字体有些问题，preliminary study 得出的结论是否科学？这里提到的是cooking和allergies and skin rashes有关，是什么样的关系？如果含有clormium 5的水不去cooking，那么会不会就没有allergies and skin rashes？如果是这样，那public buildings就没必要装bottled-water coolers，因为这里的用水不是用来cooking的。

2.那些负担不起除去clormium 5花费的社区的饮用水里含有clormium 5（第二个假设）。这一点是值得怀疑的，文章只是说Tests of the drinking water in several areas have revealed the presence of clormium 5.那有可能付不起除clormium 5费用的社区的饮用水不含有clormium 5

3.replace drinking fountains with bottled-water coolers是有效果的（第三个假设）。文章没有提供相关的证据，即使是有效果的，那检测和净化的费用是最便宜的吗？

4.replace drinking fountains in public buildings, such as schools and libraries能够有效的防止 allergies and skin rashes（第四个假设）。仅仅通过在公共场合安装这个 bottled-water coolers就可以了吗？在家庭，工作....的地方一样会感染啊！
而你在这里所攻击的对象：1. 调查样品、方法
                                    2. clormium 5 和allergies and skin rashes的因果关系
                                    3. bottled-water coolers不一定是最好的办法

中原527UID：2707367

18 TOPIC: ARGUMENT15 - The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.

"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
作者思路：
攻击调查人数的可靠性；被调查者的身体状况；调查的区域（经济发达区胖人多反正则少）又是一个攻击调查的思路方式。质疑调查背景啊数据啊之类，提出其他可能的假设
低脂肪食物受欢迎不代表高脂肪食物没有市场
不一定不能获利：口味价格；OD公司可改变策略生产健康食品从而获利
对此逻辑，感觉一般，大众思路，逮到点子就攻击，关于语法问题我本人就很差也看不出来....

中原527UID：2707367

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... p%3Bfilter%3Ddigest各位小朋友，你有没有真心爱过ＧＲＥ。。？
真是道出我的心声啊，毕竟是要出去靠论文的，迟早要出来混的，又为什么不珍惜现在难得的机会呢