ISSUE13 [REBORN FROM THE ASHES] TASK ONE by QuincySM

QuincySMUID: 2162088

Issue13

"Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct."

Many languages have burgeoned and vanished in the history. Are their extinctions just due to the choices of human beings? Is it rational for us to stand idle and watch them be eliminated by the contemporary society of increasingly higher pace? Although the trend of globalization requires the presence of a normalized way of communication, the endangered languages are useful but brittle in the mass torrent of information, and thus, should be protected not only by the governments but also their users.

The languages of small groups of people is their cultural reflection. They play important parts in both literature and historical study. In novels, the lesser-known languages depict the characters vividly. Unique words spoken by the characters simultaneously convey their information from several aspects, including his hometown, personality and more. The expressiveness and conciseness are hard to acquire with general approaches. In researches of the ancient epigraphes or other text materials, the heritage of these languages is the key to decrypt the record made by their ancestors. The language may have varied through time, but the inherent similarity of text shape or syntax is preserved as potential implications for tracing back. The nearly-lost languages are extremely critical when the groups under study do not have any format of text. Once the languages are lost, the past of its speakers will be permanently buried, leaving no explicit evidence. Without the guidance of small languages, we lack important clues to look into the history of special groups. To protect these languages is to protect the cultures behind them.

There are opinions that the globalization implies the unification of language. However, the fact is that any social group needs to identify the value of itself and contribute to the diversity of global culture. The endangered languages are unique creations of their region. They are the foundations of the more frequently used languages. For example, the Bible and Arabic literatures are vestiges of ancient Greeks and Latins. The study of such classical works makes people understand the cultural background. Any language in use is itself creative. The use of a global language, like English, helps people exchange informations, but the most effective way for people to comprehend the world is using their own language. Our own languages offer a way to enrich the thoughts and reservoir of our groups, and different languages display different directions to the speakers. To some extent, the existence of distinct languages is not a barrier but an essential condition for communication. The preservation of lesser-known languages keeps our sources of ideas from drying.

The government should actively participate in the protection, because the endangered languages, like the endangered animals, are often ignored by most people. The extinction of languages has little effects on individuals. Many lesser-known languages are not noticed by the world when the number of their speaker is dramastically decreasing. If these languages vanishes without neither text record nor any researches on them, their system of syntax and the culture heritages within will be lost, even without leaving any fossil. Who cares about the extinction of a never-heard language since it does not affect one's daily life? The governments should use their power of influence to draw attention of the society. Nevertheless, languages cannot be saved only with the efforts from the governments. The speakers themselves can truly protect their own language. They should make their language alive and creative in order to lengthen its life and absorb from other languages. Greek and Latin are ancient, but their words with precise meaning are employed to name new things, which makes these two languages stand through thousands of years. The duty of the governments is to bring these languages to the world and to encourage their use.

Languages tell their cultures and thoughts and enrich themselves by exchanging ideas in communication. The governments are supposed to link the unknown ones to the society and encourage them to make a self-introduction. Only by proving their value of existence can these languages come to life.

123runfordreamUID: 2697608

Many languages have burgeoned and vanished in the history. Are their extinctions just due to the choices of human beings? Is it rational for us to stand idle and watch them be eliminated（？watch them to be eliminated?——watch 不是只局限于那两种用法的） by the contemporary society of increasingly higher pace? Although the trend of globalization requires the presence of a normalized way of communication, the endangered（好！） languages are useful but brittle in the mass torrent of information, and thus, should be protected not only by the governments but also their users. （——这句话我崇拜！）
The languages of small groups of people is their cultural reflection. They play important parts in both literature and historical study. In novels, the lesser-known languages depict the characters vividly. Unique words spoken by the characters simultaneously convey their information from several aspects, including his hometown, personality and more. The expressiveness and conciseness are hard to acquire with general approaches. In researches of the ancient epigraphes（pl. epigraphs——word的功劳） or other text materials, the heritage of these languages is the key to decrypt the record made by their ancestors. The language may have varied through time, but the inherent similarity of text shape or syntax is preserved as potential implications for tracing back. The nearly-lost languages are extremely critical when the groups under study do not have any format of text. Once the languages are lost, the past of its speakers will be permanently buried, leaving no explicit evidence. Without the guidance of small languages, we lack important clues to look into the history of special groups. To protect these languages is to protect the cultures behind them.

There are opinions that the globalization implies the unification of language. However, the fact is that any social group needs to identify the value of itself and contribute to the diversity of global culture. The endangered languages are unique creations of their region. They are the foundations of the more frequently used languages. For example, the Bible and Arabic literatures are vestiges of ancient Greeks and Latins. The study of such classical works makes people understand the cultural background. Any language in use is itself creative. The use of a global language, like English, helps people exchange informations, but the most effective way for people to comprehend the world is using their own language. Our own languages offer a way to enrich the thoughts and reservoir of our groups, and different languages display different directions to the speakers. To some extent, the existence of distinct languages is not a barrier but an essential condition for communication. The preservation of lesser-known languages keeps our sources of ideas from drying.

The government should actively participate in the protection, because the endangered languages, like the endangered animals, are often ignored by most people.（因为语言的逐渐消失，所以政府就应该保护？） The extinction of languages has little effects on individuals. Many lesser-known languages are not noticed by the world when the number of their speaker is dramastically （dramatically）decreasing. If these languages vanishes without neither text record nor any researches on them, their system of syntax and the culture heritages within will be lost, even without leaving any fossil. Who cares about the extinction of a never-heard language since it does not affect one's daily life? The governments should use their power of influence to draw attention of the society. Nevertheless, languages cannot be saved only with the efforts from the governments. The speakers themselves can truly protect their own language. They should make their language alive and creative in order to lengthen its life and absorb from other languages. Greek and Latin are ancient, but their words with precise meaning are employed to name new things, which makes （words → make）these two languages stand through thousands of years. The duty of the governments is to bring these languages to the world and to encourage their use.

Languages tell their cultures and thoughts and enrich themselves by exchanging ideas in communication. The governments are supposed to link the unknown ones to the society and encourage them to make a self-introduction. Only by proving their value of existence can these languages come to life.

哇~我说过你很强大的吧！感觉果然没错。
语言表达的确很棒，尤其词汇的应用！望尘莫及！学习学习！
不过中间部分我还是有些许困惑。好像只阐述了government能做的，个人能做的，最重点的好像没说出来。还是撇开了众人热议的language和culture&civilization之间的大关系？这似乎是不错的，不过，我就是觉得少了点什么。望不吝赐教~~

QuincySMUID: 2162088

2# 123runfordream
真的很感谢哦～en 就数你对我的关注度最高了。。。
我的语言其实很烂，这个是限时的，写成这样已经不错了。很多句子都经不起推敲的。我自己回头看看也觉得汗颜。
嗯，我说句实话，觉得我语言还可以，说明你在这方面要多下功夫。请别觉得我说太重，或者觉得我谦虚。实话实说。
个人能做的，想在第三段论证里说，但是几乎没有展开。这一点的确和开头主题句相去远了。我最后的Greek&Latin的例子是想说“语言被使用才有活力，而真正使用语言要靠它的群体”。但这个逻辑我没写出来。
我没撇开什么，一直都围绕文化在写的啊。。。要说缺少什么，我觉得就是users的作用没写出来。

123runfordreamUID: 2697608

2# 123runfordream  
真的很感谢哦～en 就数你对我的关注度最高了。。。
我的语言其实很烂，这个是限时的，写成这样已经不错了。很多句子都经不起推敲的。我自己回头看看也觉得汗颜。
嗯，我说句实话，觉得我语言 ...
QuincySM 发表于 2009-12-9 19:12

( ⊙ o ⊙ )啊！
比我好很多，所以我觉得很不错诶。
大实话是，也没你说的糟糕啊。真的。我写不出来，但多少也看点。

好吧，还是再努力一段时间，看看谁比较接近事实。
而我确实是需要加很大一把劲。意见中肯！！

Maci.UID: 2731643

偶然进来，帮LZ看看，见谅，呵呵。
谢谢

Many languages have burgeoned and vanished in the history. Are their extinctions just due to the choices of human beings[这个出现的很突然，没有预见性的提出“人类的选择”]? Is it rational for us to stand idle and watch them be eliminated[replaced更准确] by the contemporary society of increasingly higher pace[这个表述感觉很像中式英语：难道我们就眼睁睁的看着它们……然后翻译过来的句子]? Although the trend of globalization requires the presence of a normalized[这里用这个词貌似不妥，全球化趋势还没发展到全世界必须要将沟通的方式“规范化”吧？] way of communication, the endangered languages [建议这里用作定语从句，which] are useful but brittle[怎么个useful了？很抽象，brittle也感觉怪怪的，不过算是形象？] in the mass torrent of information[还可以用“信息大爆炸”] and thus, should be protected not only by the governments but also their users.

开头，有自己的观点，不错。
但是，除了最后一个分句之外，其它的都只是作为一个背景的辅助作用。写了那么多，无非就是在说问题发生的时代背景是：全球化的大趋势。正是因为全球化，所以社会的步调才会加快，也出现信息大爆炸。语言的消失与人类的选择的关系？这点暂时没想明白，也许在后文可以明白吧。而且，为什么全球化一定需要规范化的交流方式呢？其中隐藏的联系应直接表明。不过我觉得这点也不一定要在手段表明，可以稍微埋下伏笔。所以，建议LZ考虑下首段的表达，句子重写后，或许更精炼些。

Maci.UID: 2731643

The languages of small groups of people is[复数 are] their cultural reflection. They play important parts in both literature and historical study. In novels, the lesser-known languages depict the characters vividly. Unique words spoken[小说里的角色活了会说话？] by the characters simultaneously convey their information from several aspects, including his hometown, personality and more.[一般的小说，作家会用自己的母语来写，这是一个很常见的现象。而lesser-known languages貌似很少被用来写小说吧，也许有，但是这种情况很少][这个hometown,personality和cultural reflection有什么关系？说是identity恐怕还准确性] The expressiveness and conciseness[表述似乎不妥，觉得这里用这两个词首先是觉得很奇怪，其次这两个特点并没有从上文的论述中看出来] are hard to acquire[语法，时态问题，被动式] with general approaches. In researches of the ancient epigraphes or other text materials, the heritage of these languages is the key to decrypt the record made by their ancestors. The language may have varied through time, but the inherent similarity of text shape or syntax is preserved as potential implications for tracing back. The nearly-lost languages[近期已经消失的？这个限定词不如endangered更直接] are extremely critical when the groups under study do not have any format of text [记录格式？语言是用来speak的，不是书写试的，没有硬性的文本格式的吧？语法问题会有]. Once the languages are lost, the past of its speakers will be permanently buried[为什么过去会被埋葬？], leaving no explicit evidence. Without the guidance of small languages, we lack important clues to look into the history of special groups. To protect these languages is to protect the cultures behind them.

文章的开头是literature and historical study，但是这两个方面都没有充分展开论证，而且有点偏离的感觉。
使用的例子不具有代表性。
观点的表达也应该要避免绝对化。
句式很单一，虽然有些词比较高级，但是并没有让文章蓬荜生辉。
culture的涵义是很广很深的，这里要说的是language的作用，那么当然要将language在文化中的具体角色描述出来。
LZ的一些表述觉得不够有力，而且挖掘不够深刻。不一定要用那么多的例子，但是一定要表达清楚。
而且段落内部句子的逻辑关系有点乱。

Maci.UID: 2731643

占楼 稍后继续！

Maci.UID: 2731643

囧 LZ客气了
我时间比较零散
也不知道批改的对不对 谢谢支持我的小铺子 呵呵

fancywwUID: 2583671

我喜欢在别人的基础上再看，相同问题就不指出了，但可能会有点乱，还请原谅哦~

Many languages have burgeoned and vanished in the history. Are their extinctions just due to the choices of human beings? Is it rational for us to stand idle and watch them be eliminated（？watch them to be eliminated?——watch 不是只局限于那两种用法的） by the contemporary society of increasingly higher pace? Although the trend of globalization requires the presence of a normalized way of communication, the endangered（好！） languages are useful but brittle in the mass torrent of information, and thus, should be protected not only by the governments but also their users. （——这句话我崇拜！）（很符合作文讲解中thesis的要求）
The languages of small groups of people is their cultural reflection. They play important parts in both literature and historical study. In novels, the lesser-known languages depict the characters vividly. Unique words spoken by the characters simultaneously convey their information from several aspects, including his hometown, personality and more. The expressiveness and conciseness are hard to acquire with general approaches. In researches of the ancient epigraphes（pl. epigraphs——word的功劳） or other text materials, the heritage of these languages is the key to decrypt the record made by their ancestors. The language may have varied through time, but the inherent similarity of text shape or syntax is preserved as potential implications for tracing back. The nearly-lost languages are extremely critical when the groups under study do not have any format of text. Once the languages are lost, the past of its speakers will be permanently buried, leaving no explicit evidence. Without the guidance of small languages, we lack important clues to look into the history of special groups. To protect these languages is to protect the cultures behind them. （文从字顺，但中间衔接还稍差一点，一遍读下来有点晕，还好首尾句简洁照应，能让读者不忘记本段在谈什么）

There are opinions that the globalization implies the unification of language. However, the fact is that any social group needs to identify the value of itself and contribute to the diversity of global culture. The endangered languages are unique creations of their region. They are the foundations of the more frequently used languages. For example, the Bible and Arabic literatures are vestiges of ancient Greeks and Latins. The study of such classical works makes people understand the cultural background. Any language in use is itself creative. The use of a global language, like English, helps people exchange informations, but the most effective way for people to comprehend the world is using their own language. Our own languages offer a way to enrich the thoughts and reservoir of our groups, and different languages display different directions to the speakers. To some extent, the existence of distinct languages is not a barrier but an essential condition for communication. The preservation of lesser-known languages keeps our sources of ideas from drying. （这段的有些点和上一段有重复）

The government should actively participate in the protection, because the endangered languages, like the endangered animals, are often ignored by most people.（因为语言的逐渐消失，所以政府就应该保护？是因为个体通常容易忽视，所以才需要政府的力量）（这段很及时地谈到了政府，再单谈语言就不好了） The extinction of languages has little effects on individuals. Many lesser-known languages are not noticed by the world when the number of their speaker is dramastically （dramatically）decreasing. If these languages vanishes without neither text record nor any researches on them, their system of syntax and the culture heritages within will be lost, even without leaving any fossil. Who cares about the extinction of a never-heard language since it does not affect one's daily life? The governments should use their power of influence to draw attention of the society. Nevertheless, languages cannot be saved only with the efforts from the governments. The speakers themselves can truly protect their own language. They should make their language alive and creative in order to lengthen its life and absorb from other languages. Greek and Latin are ancient, but their words with precise meaning are employed to name new things, which makes （words → make）these two languages stand through thousands of years. The duty of the governments is to bring these languages to the world and to encourage their use.（应该谈到government是说那些濒危语言的国家的government）

Languages tell their cultures and thoughts and enrich themselves by exchanging ideas in communication. The governments are supposed to link the unknown ones to the society and encourage them to make a self-introduction. Only by proving their value of existence can these languages come to life


好像没有谈到开头thesis中的“also their users”。
总之，流畅，思路也比较清晰，论证也不错。