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[a习作temp] Arguement190 =美丽G程小组=小组第三次作业 by 曦范 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-11-28 16:06:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT190 - The following is a letter to the editor of the Glenville Gazette, a local newspaper.
"Over the past few years, the number of people who have purchased advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series has declined, indicating lack of community support. Although the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years, this cannot be the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchases, because many people attended the concerts even in bad weather. Clearly, then, the reason for the decline is the choice of music, so the organizers of the concert should feature more modern music in the future and should be sure to include music composed by Richerts, whose recordings Glenville residents purchase more often than any other contemporary recordings. This strategy will undoubtedly increase advance ticket purchases and will increase attendance at the concerts."
WORDS: 496          TIME: 00:40:00          DATE: 2009/11/26 17:42:08
Merely based on the unfounded assumption and dubious evidence, the letter draws the conclusion that in order to increase advanced ticket purchases and to attract more audiences of the concert, the Glenville Summer Concert have to introduce more modern music and should be sure to include the composition of Richerts. To substantiate this conclusion, the author points out the the selling of Richerts' record was much better than others'. In addition, the statment indicate that the unpredictable of the weather won't be a problem to affect the ticket selling. At first glance, the argument seems somewhat convincing, but further reflection reveals that it omits some substantial cencerns that should be addressed on the argument. From the logical perspective, this argument suffers from three logical flaws.
The argument simply equated the selling number of tickets with the number of tickets purchased advanced, which failed to make into account possible differences between the final sales volume and the advance ticket numbers. It is entirely possible that the citizens in Glenville Gazette were tend to purchase the concert tickets onsite, or the managers of the concert sold less advancing tickets than the past few years but more onsite tickets. What's more, the author hastly claimed that decline was not because of unpredictable weather condition , since most audiences were willing to go to summer concert just because they wanted to enjoy the music under the fancinating weather circumostances. So the mere fact that many people attended concert even in bad weather was unsupportive. Judging from the all the details above, the conclusion of Glenville Summer Concert was lack of community support was unwarranted.
Even assuming the selling of advance tickets decline can reflect the lack of community support, and the shifted weather condition won't be one of the reasons for that, the author falsely assumes that the decline must be attribute to the choice of music. Perhaps, for example, the quality of musical performance slipped, or even other concert companies or groups had stepped in this area, result to the decline of tickets selling. In a word, lacking evidence that links the purchased tickets and the choice of music was presumptuous.
Even assuming the reason for the decline is the choice of music, the author fails to provide adequate evidence that choosing modern music and Richerts'  composition in popular will boost sales and attendance. Richerts' record was popular among the Glenville residents  didn't equal to residents wanted his music to be played in the Summer Concert. Moreover, whether modern and Richerts' music were proper played in the Gleville Summer Concert have to be doubted. Therefore, the argument is unwarranted without rulling out such possibility.
To sum up, this argument fails to substantiate his claim that the introduction of modern and Richerts' music will solve the finanical problem, because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintans. To make the argument more convincing, the author would have to provide more information with regard to the citizens' intrests of music and more details about the concert's performance.If so, it would be more through and logical acceptable.
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沙发
发表于 2009-11-28 18:39:49 |只看该作者
哇,速度让我膜拜啊。但xifan你怎么不用不用WORD检查拼写呢?

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板凳
发表于 2009-11-29 10:38:53 |只看该作者
2# petric
啊,不好意思,因为时间有点紧,难道我的拼写错误很多吗?囧~~

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地板
发表于 2009-11-29 11:49:48 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 petric 于 2009-11-29 12:10 编辑

3# 曦范

我改文章的逻辑,结构问题了,见附件

哎,我说话很直的,感觉为了让你永久改过来,我就拿砖头狠狠拍过去了。我的批改很少有赞美的地方,如果感觉受不了,我下次和蔼些~

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RE: Arguement190 =美丽G程小组=小组第三次作业 by 曦范 [修改]

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Arguement190 =美丽G程小组=小组第三次作业 by 曦范
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1034774-1-1.html
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