ISSUE130~怎么养孩子~欢迎拍砖~有拍必回

小灵易碎UID: 2733622

上次的文章被指不够扣题，不知道这回有没有改善，请大家帮忙拍砖，谢谢了
如果想要回拍，请在批改后附上回拍链接，我会很高兴报复……不是！报销……不是！报答你的！


130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


名词解释

Socialize
transitive verb
1 : to make social especially : to fit or train for a social environment
2 a : to constitute on a socialistic basis <socialize industry> b : to adapt to social needs or uses
3 : to organize group participation in <socialize a recitation>
intransitive verb : to participate actively in a social group

Destiny
1 : something to which a person or thing is destined : FORTUNE <wants to control his own destiny>
2 : a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency

字数：501
中文提纲：
1.我基本同意题目中的说法，即孩子们的社交方式决定了我们社会未来的命运，但是不幸的是即使人类知道这一点，还是没找到正确教育孩子的方法。
2.孩子的社交方式决定了社会的趋势（命运），例子：婴儿潮的一代人以他们鲜明的个性在反对越战中发挥了重要作用，最终决定了社会的趋势。
3.在教育方法上，尽管人们教孩子保护环境是积极的，但是无可否认家庭暴力和来自媒体的不良信息是存在且对孩子有伤害的，家庭和媒体（社会机构）应该尽到教育孩子的责任
4.总结


Children were born being like blank papers,what are "drawn" on them by the surroundings will ultimately represents and determines the shape of the whole society.I broadly agree with the speaker that how the children socielize could have a unaviodable effect on the destiny of the society,in the light of historical experience.For decades,people have been surely attempting to raise children in more scientific and effective ways.However,unluckily, in spite of understanding the importance of nowadays children to the future world and holding a hopeful will to a better  life,there is no denying that people are blind to find a credibly proper approach of raising children,namely,the right way to "draw" on the papers.At this point,both the family and the society, especially the public media,should take compelling responsibility.



People would always distinguish the contemporary according to their peculiar socializing and behavourial characteristics.When it comes to the baby boomers, born approximately after the World War Two,people prefer to associate them with a rejection or redefinition of traditional values.Compared with previous generations,the baby boomers,who were growing up in a changeable social environment,own a higher passion to social activities and share a greater sence of responsibility of innovating.It is the way baby boomers fit to the world that finally promote the progress of times.For example,in the opposition to the US involvement in the Vietnam War,mainly during the 1970s,the grown baby boomers played a principal role in fighting against the continuace of Vietnam War.Youth groups expressed their dissatisfaction and anger in different methods, eventually,to a great extent, by the force of internal factors,the government withdrew the US troops from Vietnam.History has shown us that the way children are socialized largely decides the following trend of society,which makes it convinced that how children are socialized today will determine the future destiny of society.



People today spend a considerable portion of time conferring on the proper way to bring up children than ever before,since everyone would like to lead a better life in a better society.Children today are taught to protect the environment and get along with the nature;they are also brought up in a compratively peaceful atmosphere with less wars.However,people should not ignore the existance of domestic violence and harmful information from public media.Many children are suffering violent threating from parents,which even finally cause them to die in childhood.On th e other hand,unlimited Internet information makes children be vunerable to obscenity,for instance,which may have a negtive effect on young kids,even cause unpredicted problems in future.Measures ought to be taken immediately to stop bad influence



In sum,people used to be children become the core force of today,the socialization they shared now takes up the mainstream.At the same time,admittedly,people are trying to creat a more comfortable condition to present-day children.But the existing facts warn us that guiding children to a right direction,people still have a long way to go.Especially the family and the public media,should take the obligation to the offsprings.If people are wise enough,they would be aware:what we give to our children today is not simply the present,it is the future.

小灵易碎UID: 2733622

Children were born being (去掉being) like blank papers
========================
我从句酷里的句子仿过来的，看来还是不太顺，我会改进的

nowadays （nowadays是adverb，改成present-day）
========================
上次Bela就指出来了，我写到这篇文章后面想起来了就用了present-day，前面还是忘记了（着重号着重号！）

unluckily, in spite of understanding the importance of nowadays （nowadays是adverb，改成present-day）children to the future world and holding a hopeful will to a better  life(这个分句，understanding累赘了。我建议：1.despite the importance of present-day children to the future world...;2. although it is well recognized that  the importance of present-day children to the future world。而且holding a hopeful will to a better  life很奇怪，既然你要用and,那前后必须是并列成分)
=================
哦，我写错了，本来想用伴随的，主语是people
改：In spite of understanding the importance of present-day children to the future and carrying the disire for the better life,people are still blind to……

At this point,both the family and the society, especially the public media(public media应该不属于任何一类吧==),should take compelling responsibility.
==================
或许应该换成public organization?

123runfordreamUID: 2697608

今天的comment找了很久就是为了找篇跟education有关的。
还是不容易。稍微察了下边。

小灵易碎UID: 2733622

我一直都以为那个comment是小组内部事务记录~原来我错过了好东西……

去沾沾你们的光吧暂时做个米虫儿吧，话说我能贴文章上去吗？

Lisa-yuanUID: 2748489

行文和结构不错。而且比较贴题。但是第二段举越战的例子，是想说明家社会对孩子们的影响～，在70年代政府和家庭对孩子都有影响。仅仅以family来归纳的话，会比较狭窄。

erikxtUID: 2485344

7# Lisa-yuan 你学历史的？

小灵易碎UID: 2733622

不是啊，我学媒体的，交叉学科

Lisa-yuanUID: 2748489

8# erikxt 我是学工科的，但是对于历史比较感兴趣，但是不精通～

Sophiasy88UID: 2751120

Children were born [url=]being[/url][t1] like blank papers,[url=]what[/url][t2] are "drawn" on them by the surroundings will ultimately represents and determines the shape of the whole society.I broadly agree with the speaker that [url=]how[/url][t3] the children socielize could have a unaviodable effect on the destiny of the society,in the light of historical experience.For decades,people have been surely attempting to raise children in [url=]more[/url][t4] scientific and effective ways.However,unluckily, in spite of understanding the importance of nowadays children to the future world and holding a hopeful will to a better  life,there is no denying that people are blind to find a credibly proper approach of raising children,namely,the right way to "draw" on the papers.At this point,both the family and the society, especially the public [url=]media[/url][t5] ,should take compelling responsibility.



People would always distinguish the contemporary according to their peculiar socializing and behavourial characteristics.When it comes to the baby boomers, born approximately after the World War Two,people prefer to associate them with a rejection or redefinition of traditional values.[url=]Compared[/url][t6] with previous generations,the baby boomers,who were growing up in a changeable social environment,own a higher passion to social activities and share a greater sence of responsibility of innovating.It is the way baby boomers fit to the world that finally promote the progress of times.For example,in the opposition to the US involvement in the Vietnam War,mainly during the 1970s,the grown baby boomers played a principal role in fighting against the continuace of Vietnam War.Youth groups expressed their dissatisfaction and anger in different methods, eventually,to a great extent, by the force of internal factors,the government withdrew the US troops from Vietnam.History has shown us that the way children are socialized largely decides the following trend of society,which makes it convinced that how children are socialized today will determine the future destiny of society.



People， [url=]today[/url][t7] ，spend a considerable portion of time conferring on the proper way to bring up children than ever before,since everyone would like to lead a better life in a better society.Children today are taught to protect the environment and get along with the nature;they are also brought up in a compratively peaceful atmosphere with less [url=]wars[/url][t8] .However,people should not ignore the existance of domestic violence and harmful information from public media.Many children are suffering violent threating from parents,which even finally cause them to die in childhood.On th e other hand,unlimited Internet information makes children be vunerable to obscenity,for instance,which may have a negtive effect on young kids,even cause unpredicted problems in future.Measures ought to be taken immediately to stop bad influence



In sum,people used to be children become the core force of today,the socialization they shared now takes up the mainstream.At the same time,admittedly,people are trying to creat a more comfortable condition to present-day children.But the existing facts warn us that guiding children to a right direction,people still have a long way to go.Especially the family and the public media,should take the obligation to the offsprings.If people are wise enough,they would be aware:what we give to our children today is not simply the present,it is the future.

[t1]去掉,觉得不顺畅



[t2]which



[t3]去掉how



[t4]用比较级？后面没看见对应的



[t5]前面用both说了家庭和社会，这里怎么又有了第三方媒体呢？



[t6]Comparing



[t7]可以作为一个插入语隔开



[t8]又是比较级，和哪里比较呢？