Argument2 我的第一篇argue，欢迎来拍～

moonmouseUID: 2694347

Arguement2 The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."
提纲：1.政策是否起作用 2.这两个地区的差异未考虑 3 其他因素导致升值
字数：348

Citing the example of nearby Brookville community, the homeowners of Deerhaven Acres consider adopting their own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting in order to improve the average property values. However, the committee’s argument relies on a series of unproven assumptions and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, there is no justified evidence that restrictions on landscaping and housepainting play the only or a very important role in rise of property values in Brookville community. The function might be in the opposite direction, if this is the case, the recommendation would amount to especially poor advice.

Besides, to serve nearby Brookville community as models that Deerhaven Acres should emulate, the homeowners committee of Deerhaven Acres must assume that all relevant circumstances involving the property values are essentially the same. However, this assumption is unwarranted. For example, the argument overlooks the traffic and facilities in the community, which are important factors in renting and purchasing the house. Perhaps the Brookville community provides more convenient traffic and more sports apparatus than Deerhaven Acres.

Finally, other than restrictions on landscaping and housepainting, there are many factors which can lead to the increase of property value, such as the most common and familiar supply-and-demand relationship in the market. Perhaps the demand for housing in Brookville community has been increasing due to the influx of major employers. It’s also as likely that the house supply has been decreasing in Brookville. These two cases are responsible for the rise in Brookville’s property values. It has been seven years since Brookville community adopted these restrictions, possibly during the time Brookville made great changes to raise the property value, while Deerhaven Acres still remained the same as before.

In sum, the argument relies on what might amount to two poor analogies between Deerhaven Acres and nearby Brookville. To strengthen and properly evaluate the argument, the committee needs to know whether the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting play a very important role in raising property values in Brookville, what factors other than restrictions have contributed to the improvement of average property values in Brookville.

℃ЙαиgUID: 2750369

不好意思改晚了点..


Citing the example of nearby Brookville community, the homeowners of Deerhaven Acres consider adopting their own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting in order to improve the average property values. However, the committee’s argument relies on a series of unproven assumptions and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, there is no justified evidence that restrictions on landscaping and housepainting play the only or a very important role in rise of property values in Brookville community. The function might be in the opposite direction, if this is the case, the recommendation would amount to especially poor advice. (这里是不是该再多说明一下呢?或者加个例子呢?)

Besides, to serve nearby Brookville community as models that Deerhaven Acres should emulate, the homeowners committee of Deerhaven Acres must assume (have assumed会不会好点?) that all relevant circumstances involving (with) the property values are essentially the same. However, this assumption is unwarranted. For example, the argument overlooks the traffic and facilities in the community, which are important factors in renting and purchasing the house. Perhaps the Brookville community provides more convenient traffic and more sports apparatus than Deerhaven Acres.

Finally, other than restrictions on landscaping and housepainting, there are many factors which can lead to the increase of property value, such as the most common and familiar supply-and-demand relationship in the market. Perhaps the demand for housing in Brookville community has been increasing due to the influx of major employers. It’s also as likely that the house supply has been decreasing in Brookville. These two cases are responsible for the rise in Brookville’s property values. (, and maybe the supply there has been decreasing in recent years, which all can be responsible for the rise in Brookville’s property values我觉得这么写可能更好一些)
It has been seven years since Brookville community adopted these restrictions, possibly during the time Brookville made great changes to raise the property value, while Deerhaven Acres still remained the same as before.

In sum, the argument relies on what might amount to two poor analogies between Deerhaven Acres and nearby Brookville. To strengthen and properly evaluate the argument, the committee needs to know whether the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting play a very important role(这里不应该用important role 应该用’起决定性作用的因素’) in raising property values in Brookville, what factors other than restrictions have contributed to the improvement of average property values in Brookville.

moonmouseUID: 2694347

多谢批改