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[求助] 2.06 作文-slimh-求改 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-6 22:45:18 |显示全部楼层
As a member of this dynamic society every individual person does have the right to keep his or her own views of politics and society. However, in my opinion, it is not appropriate to show one's own views in some situations. In the classroom, especially, teachers should not show their political or social views to the students in case of causing negative influence.


Being a teacher should take the responsibility of teaching at a class. In front of the teenagers, especially, a good teacher should avoid to show his or her own opinion of the politics or social views. That's because teenagers are physically not grown up, mentally immature, which means they are easily get influenced by teacher's opinion. It's just as equal as the rate system of movie in most of the countries, all of movies will be judged by several rates, some of them are allowed to shown to the age of under fifteen, some of them are only for the adults. This explains that teenagers are, easily influenced by. So, it is not a proper way, even if a teacher has anti-social views or not, to show in the classroom.

On the other hand, when teenagers are grown up to adults, due to their mature minds having their own views to the society. Still, they may less influenced by the teachers does not mean it’s appropriate to show teachers’ political or social views in the class even the students are all adults. Let’s take an example of studying at university; knowledge taught in university should be based on scientific researches or academic theories. Even in the public relationship class, for instance, teachers’ views of the social or politics just represent their subjective ideas not based on objective assessments. Therefore, teachers should avoid showing their personal views especially in policy or social issues.

In conclusion, everyone could stay at the side where he or she chooses to stay. People, of course, may have different opinions on the political or social issues. Even though, I do agree that teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.

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IBT Zeal

发表于 2010-2-7 10:51:13 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2010-2-7 15:21:03 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 superliu1593 于 2010-2-7 15:23 编辑

As a member of this dynamic society every individual person does have the right to keep his or her own views of politics and society. However, in my opinion, it is not appropriate to show one's own views in some situations. In the classroom, especially, teachers should not show their political or social views to the students in case of causing negative influence.
开头很好

Being a teacher should take the responsibility of teaching at a class. In front of the teenagers, especially, a good teacher should avoid to show(showing) his or her own opinion of the politics or social views. That's because teenagers are physically not grown up, mentally immature, which means they are easily get(got) influenced by teacher's opinion. It's just as equal as the rate system of movie in most of the countries, all of movies will be judged by several rates, some of them are allowed to (be) shown to the age of under fifteen(to the teenagers under fifteen), (and) some of them are only for the adults这个例子举得好. This explains that teenagers are, easily influenced by(got influenced). So, it is not a proper way, even if(whether) a teacher has anti-social views or not, to show in the classroom.(So, it is not a proper way for teachers whether they have anti-social views or not, to show social views in the classroom)

On the other hand, when teenagers are grown up to adults,due to their mature minds having their own views to the society(when teenagers are grown up to adults, they would have mature minds which show their own views to the sciety). Still, they may (be) less influenced by the teachers does not mean it’s appropriate to show teachers’ political or social views in the class even the students are all adults. Let’s take an example of studying at university;knowledge taught in university should be based on scientific researches or academic theories. Even in the public relationship class, for instance这个可以不要, teachers’ views of (to) the social or politics just (may occasionally) represent their subjective ideas not based on objective assessments. Therefore, teachers should avoid showing their personal views especially in policy or social issues.

In conclusion, everyone could stay at the side where he or she chooses to stay. People, of course, may have different opinions on the political or social issues. Even though, I do agree that teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.

点评,由于水平有限,请轻拍
1.    动词被动语态的用法可以再看一下
2.   有些句式意思有点模糊,需要调整一下
3.    论证非常有代表性,很好

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RE: 2.06 作文-slimh-求改 [修改]

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